Guys get their ex girlfriends back all the time. It’s totally possible and fairly simple when you approach it correctly.
So, if you’ve decided that you want to get your ex-girlfriend back and are serious about making it happen, there are a few essential rules that you need to know about first.
- Rule 1: She won’t want you back for real unless you first make her feel a renewed sense of sexual attraction and respect for you.
- Rule 2: You shouldn’t try to get her back before adhering to Rule 1.
Her feelings are what make all the difference when getting her back.
If she doesn’t feel attracted to you, then she’s not going to feel motivated to want to get back with you.
It won’t matter what you say to her, she just isn’t going to be willing to listen and care as much as you do because the feelings aren’t mutual.
So, if you are serious about getting her back, you must focus on attraction first…
Once your ex girlfriend feels attracted to you again, it is then so much easier to guide her back into a relationship because she has a reason (i.e. she wants to be around you, hug you, kiss you and have sex with you again) to get back with you.
If you’re trying to get her back for your reasons (e.g. “I care about you so much” or “I promise to do better. Please believe me and give me a chance”) then she’s not going to want to listen.
It has to be about her feelings.
When you focus on her feelings, she likes the new you and how you now make her feel.
She then feels like there is still something between you and her that isn’t finished.
However, if you don’t focus on attraction and hope to get her back by ignoring her, begging and pleading, texting like a friend and so on, then you will be disappointed.
I’ve personally worked on 100s of ex back cases and the #1 mistake that guys make is forgetting to focus on making her feel attracted again before attempting to get her back.
Opinions You Will Find Online
Since most advice you will find online is not written by experts who have actually helped guys to get an ex girlfriend back, you have to be careful about which approach you decided to try on your ex girlfriend.
I get a lot of e-mails from guys wanting to know how to get their ex back and most of them have already made a whole bunch of classic mistakes that they’ve learned online, which have pushed their ex-girlfriend further away.
For example: Some websites will say that you must use the No Contact Rule (ignore her for 30 to 60 days), while others will promise you that you can simply text your ex back with a magical text message.
People will tell you to ignore her for 30 or 60 days like that will be a magical number of days that fixes all relationship problems, makes her forgive you and come crawling back.
So, how much space is enough to give her before you get her back? Watch this video for the answer…
If you give her 3 to 7 days of space, it is more than enough.
It proves the point that you’re not being needy and desperate. She doesn’t have to put her guard up and tell you to go away and stop pestering her.
After giving her a week of space, you then need to contact her, re-attract her and guide her through the ex back process.
Is a Break Up the End of Your Relationship With Her?
Many guys who’ve lost their girlfriend don’t realize that most relationships have mini break ups at some stage, but manage to get back together.
It’s not unusual and you could say it’s almost “normal,” so a break up is not necessarily the end of a relationship.
Whether or not a break up is the end of your relationship with her really comes down to why you broke up. In most cases, a guy can get his girlfriend to forgive him and give him another chance very quickly. In other cases, it may take some time.
The truth is, you will always have a relationship with her in some form or another.
It’s never truly broken up completely because, just by having a history together and having been together in a 1-on-1 relationship, you still have a relationship with each other.
Also, just because she’s mad at you right now or turned off by how you behaved, it doesn’t mean she won’t lighten up to you over the next few days, weeks or months.
When you change how you make her feel (I can teach you how to do that), she will change how she feels about it. It’s a natural, normal and automatic response from a human being.
For example: If someone that you didn’t like suddenly changed the things about themselves that you didn’t like and instead, they started behaving in ways that you liked, then you would begin to like them!
You’ve probably had that experience many times in your life already. The same applies to an ex-girlfriend, except it’s easier because you are a man and she is a woman and by activating her feelings of sexual attraction and love for you again, she will begin to follow her instincts and want to give it another chance.
Why Did Your Girlfriend Break Up With You?
Was it because you took her for granted and you failed to notice the warning signs she gave you, before it was too late? Did you cheat on her or did she cheat on you?
Did you become too needy or too possessive and she ended up feeling as though she needed “some space” from you?
Whatever the reason, a lot of guys tell me that the break up caught them completely by surprise; that they didn’t see it coming and as far as they were concerned everything was fairly okay between them.
Clearly things were not fine and the truth is, most break ups don’t “sneak up” without warning. It might seem like a bolt out of the blue, but only because the guy failed to pick up on the warning signals that she was not happy.
Let’s say your girlfriend broke up with you because you took her for granted. She’s going to have fired plenty of “warning shots” to give you a heads-up, but if you failed to notice them, you need to question whether you were as emotionally involved or connected as you should have been.
Let’s say the break up was the result of an infidelity. There can be no denying that being cheated on in a relationship raises ruins the trust and kills most relationships.
If you were the one who did the cheating, you need to question whether you did enough to repair the damage done by cheating and whether she knows that genuinely don’t ever want to cheat on her again.
If she was the one who cheated on you, you need to question whether you were really able to forgive her and move on, or did you struggle to trust her and question her every move after it happened? Without trust, a relationship is destined to fail eventually.
On the subject of trust, if your insecurities – perhaps fueled by her infidelity or your suspicions of her wanting to cheat – lead to you behaving in a clingy, over-possessive way, then it’s only a matter of time before she feels suffocated by the relationship and wants some breathing space.
The more you cling to her in desperation to keep her all to yourself, the more you push her away.
Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: What Not to Do
If your relationship has broken up and you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, you need to be a man that she wants to get back with.
Remember, she was attracted to you when you got together, but due to your behavior she lost respect and attraction for you.
You need to figure out exactly why she lost that attraction. In my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System I explain the 70 reasons why a woman will break up with a man.
Once you know what you need to fix, you can then go about fixing that and you can have a conversation with her to get her to overlook what happened in the past and start afresh with you.
During your relationship with her, chances are that something happened to make her question whether you were the man she thought you were. Perhaps something changed in your behavior or your attitude towards her that made her begin to feel less attracted to you.
This is something that can happen in any relationship from time to time and the questions can lead to mini break ups or almost break ups while the person with the questions looks for some answers.
When relationships manage to get back together, it’s because the ex with the questions finds the right answers.
With this in mind, if you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, you need to find the right answers to the questions about why she really broke up with you and what it will take to get her back ASAP.
The guy she fell in love with and wanted to be in a relationship with was a man who “swept her off her feet” and made her feel like a woman.
You were once that man, but did you stop making her feel that way? Did you become less of a man for her, or more of a man than you were when she first met you?
If you’ve been doing any of the following, then she will have been losing faith that you can be the man in your relationship with her…
1. Begging or Pleading
One of the most common mistakes guys make when they realize their girlfriend wants to break up with them is to plead with words to the effect of, “Whatever it is you want me to do, I’ll do it” or, “I can change” or, “Just tell me what it is I did wrong and I’ll fix it.”
Yet, this is not giving her the answer she’s looking for. She wants to see that you understand and change without her having to teach you.
She doesn’t want to feel as though she has to take care of you in that way.
She wants to be with a man who makes her feel like a woman, a man who knows how to take the lead in a relationship.
If you’re asking her to tell you what you should do, you’re telling her that you’re not that man. She wants you to know what to do.
Women are not the men. They don’t want to lead us. When you make a woman lead you, it ruins the sexual dynamic between you.
2. Hounding Her With Phone Calls or Messages
If she has decided that she needs some space to find answers, you need to give her that space.
She wants a man who is mentally and emotionally strong, so if you hound her with phone calls, text messages or letters, you are not showing yourself to be that man.
She’ll respect you for giving her that space, but any respect she still had for you will quickly disappear if you hound her with phone calls, Facebook messages, Skype calls, text messages, e-mails and so on.
Your desperation to get her to change her mind will only reinforce her doubts over whether you are the man she wants to be with.
She wants a real man who stands on his own two feet in life and who is happy with or without her, so hounding her and pleading with her will only make her see you as weak.
3. Hiding Away From Your Normal Lifestyle
This is another common mistake that a lot of guys make. Some guys mistakenly think that if they shut themselves off from the world and effectively hide away to lick their wounds, he is demonstrating to her that his life is not complete without her.
A guy like this will think that by not going out and socializing, not talking to other woman and not being happy in general, they will prove to her that she’s the only woman for them and they want her back.
Guys, this is a BIG mistake on so many levels! In fact, it is the opposite of what you should be doing to get her back.
If you want to learn my 7 step system for getting an ex girlfriend back, I recommend that you watch Get Your Ex Back: Super System.
This is the only program of its kind in the world.
I tested the methods and techniques with phone coaching clients for a long time before making it available in a program because I wanted to make sure that I provided a solution that is guaranteed to work.
Now that the program is ready, you can watch it right now and start getting your ex girlfriend back immediately.
In most cases, guys are able to get their ex girlfriend back within days or a couple of weeks if it’s a really difficult case.
So, don’t wait any longer.
Get her back while you still have a chance!
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Hey Dan. I’m kindof in need of some help regarding my ex. I really want her back and I don plan on purchasing your Get Your Ex Back program once I get my PayPal set up but its giving me problems so I dont know how long that will be. I know there is other programs out there that are cheaper or free but ive looked at those and I honestly dont trust them. You have always provided better advice even the free parts. Your book the flow a friend showed me which is how I found this in the first place is the reason I got my girl in the first place. Basically what im saying is I trust your knollage and am willing to pay the extra price for a good system because its the only one ive seen that makes any sence. Well back to my problem. My ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. Shes left me before but we always got back together shortly, but this times different, its serious. Ive been trying to follow some of the free tips you put out and it was pointing me in the right derection. A week ago she said she didnt feel anything for me anymore and never wanted to get back together, then I got her to hate me which kindof worked in my favor because she messaged me on facebook, at first completley pissed, then said that she loved me with everthing that she is and was planning on getting back together( doubt it) but not now, she also said she was having trouble getting over me but she had to. Then she started ignoring me again( I wasnt trying to constantly contact her)then about two or three days ago she text me saying that she was a horriable person because she hurt me so much and was scarred to get back together because she was scarred she would hurt me again. I replied by saying that she was a great person because she stuck by me through my rougthest times and blah blah I love her blah blah she can always count on me to be there for her even if it was just freinds, she sent a heart back, and I told her not to ever let anyone tell her otherwise, then she just sent 3 dots back so I asked what was wrong and she ignored me. I feel like I messed up at some point there but I really did negative progress after that. Later that day I tried to call her and she answered sounding annoyed at me and said What!! then just said bye and hung up. Then the next night I sent her a text asking if she wanted to hangout sometime next week and she just made up a bunch of excusises, then earlier today I made another mistake of calling her and asked about the hanging out thing and she made this excuse about how she was gonna be busy the rest of the year all day everyday. Then I texted her right after that saying I just wanted to be her freind and shes just been ignoring me now. I realise i probably cancelled out everything i did that was good the past couple of days. Now she is desparatlly looking for a new boyfriend and seems like she wants me out of her life now because she said she didnt even have 5 minutes to talk for the rest of the year. I know why she broke up with me in the first place and I probably didnt help my case by doing that, but I was just wondering if there was any advice you could give me to start heading in the right derection again untill I can purchase your product because I wanna fix things fast because I know that after she gets me out of her head a little bit it wont take her long to move on because I know shes done it before to other people. Dan everyones telling me to forget about her and move on, if it were anyother girl I would have, but her I actually love her, she used to talk about marrying me all the time and I was perfectly fine with the idea, I messed up I started doing a lot of those things you said causes a woman to loose respect for you, I want to fix things. I was just wanting some advice to point me in the right derection again until I am able to purchase your product.
Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
Here’s the advice you’re after: You’re currently making her feel like she’d be doing you a favor by getting back with you. That is never, ever the right approach to use. You’ll learn the right way to do it when you watch my program.
All the best in the meantime.
I’ve been a fan of work for a long time now. I purchased the “get your ex back super system” and have been making a lot of progress with reconnecting with my ex. Something just happened that may have messed that up. According to a good friend of hers, who also happens to be a good friend of mine, my ex found the super system while on my computer the other day. She was explaining to our mutual friend how sad she feels for me and how she wishes I could find the perfect girl, but never expressed that she could be that girl. Any advice for this situation? Do you think I’ve ruined all my hard work? Thanks.
Thanks for your positive feedback.
Good news: You haven’t ruined your hard work by her finding the program. Best way to respond is to laugh and asking (in an easy-going, light-hearted manner), “Yeah, so what did you think of that video program?” to find out how much she’s watched and whether she is now worried that you’re plotting to get her back.
Alternative response: Just tell her (in a confident, easy-going manner), “Look, I was having a look at that program because I care about you and want to know where I messed up in our relationship. I just want to know what I need to improve about myself. I know I messed up and made some mistakes with us.” Then tell her about where you think you went wrong and then use the dialogue from the program to transition to kissing and sex.
You can even allow her to watch some of it if she wants because as you know, there are no tricks or lies to use on her. It’s all about understanding relationships, being the man and getting things back together. However, if she does want to look at it, let her look at Step 1 and Step 6. Step 3 might make her raise her guard a little.
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