Without good friends, life can be pretty boring, miserable and lonely!
If you and your friends have recently drifted apart or are no longer living in the same area, you might have found yourself wondering how you can make some new friends. Maybe most of your friends now have a girlfriend or are married and you are still single and looking to find the right girl for you.
Having friends in your life is especially important if you’re a single guy because meeting women through friends is one of the easiest ways to get a girlfriend. With a lot of guy friends, you also have wingmen to go out approaching women with, which is definitely helpful and speeds up the process.
Whatever the reason you might be looking to make more friends right now, I am going to help you.
First, let me start by asking you an important question…
What Do You Really Care About?
I ask you that question because it is a critical step to finding the right type of friends for where you are at in life right now.
Sometimes, we find ourselves hanging around and being friends with people who don’t really care about the types of things we’re interested in. When this happens, it is usually difficult to have free-flowing conversations, crack relevant jokes and enjoy meaningful connections.
Whereas, when we spend time people who care about the same things as we do, it is easy to hang out and be friends. It feels good to be around each other and you know that you’re in the right place at the right time.
If you find that you’ve been hanging out with people who really aren’t helping you move forward in life or who don’t really care about the things that you do, the solution get in contact with people who are just like you or who want the same things in life that you do right now.
Having common interests is one of fastest ways to become friends with someone because it gives you both a REASON to hang around each other and develop a friendship.
However, if you meet people who are very different to you and want different things than you do, it doesn’t feel necessary to become close friends or spend a lot of time together. If you do manage to hang out, it will often feel forced or awkward.
To find people who have exactly the same interests as you, I recommend that you use Meetup.com. Just join a bunch of groups, attend and use your confidence and conversation skills to make a bunch of new friends. If you are currently lacking in confidence or need to improve your conversation skills, then I am here to help you.
Being the Guy That Everyone Wants to Be Friends With
You may have noticed that some guys have a certain knack for getting people to like them immediately. It doesn’t matter where a guy like that goes, people like him. They smile, laugh and talk with him like he’s an old friend. How does it do it?
Well, it’s actually a complex social skill that any guy can develop. Initially, it feels awkward to do the sorts of things that a guy like that does (e.g. making small talk, showing genuine interest in people, being your real self no matter what, smiling, having an easy-going vibe about you, etc), but after a while it becomes natural.
Some of the elements that make up the complex social skill of being the guy that everyone wants to be friends with includes:
1. Being great at conversation: A lot of guys who struggle to make friends or get themselves a girlfriend aren’t the best conversationalists when they meet new people or new women.
Some guys think that they are making great conversation and then end up being ignored or rejected and wonder what just happened. Unless a guy like that actually learns where he is going wrong, he will likely make the same mistakes throughout his entire life.
2. Being confident: Confidence is attractive to women, but it also makes people respect you and want to be associated with you. Generally speaking, confident guys get laid more often, are happier, make more money, live a more interesting lifestyle and are more fun to be around.
People instinctively know that and gravitate towards the confident guys. If you lack confidence in social situations or around women, people will naturally feel repelled by you on an instinctive level. You will definitely be able to make friends with other people who lack confidence, but the “cool crowd” and the attractive women will usually remain out of reach.
3. Being a cool guy: It almost sounds childish or immature to talk about “coolness,” but instead of fighting against the idea of being a cool guy, think about it this way: Whenever you’ve been in a social situation and wished you could be friends with a particular person, you considered them to be cool, right?
You didn’t hate them for being “cool,” you liked them for it. The fact is that the cooler you are as a guy, the more of a friend magnet you become.
Coolness is trait that is difficult define. However, we all know it when we see it and it usually has a lot to do with a guy’s confidence and social intelligence.
Guys who struggle to make friends or attract themselves a girlfriend are almost always coming across in ways that make them appear “uncool” or socially awkward to people.
Getting People to Like You Immediately
Over the years, a lot of guys who struggle with women and don’t have many friends have said to me, “Dan…I’m fine once people have a chance to get to know me, but when I first people I’m shy and it takes me a while to open up.”
Guess what? That’s not good enough.
If you want to make friends or get yourself a girlfriend, you have to exude confidence right away and talk to the person as though you know that like you and want to talk to you. If you talk to people in a self-doubting way, most people won’t want to feel responsible for making you feel that way and will try to end the interaction as soon as possible.
The trick is to automatically assume that the other person likes you even before they’ve had a chance to get to know you. Do not try to get a person to like you. Just talk to them with the belief that you are a likeable person and assume that they will like you immediately.
This allows you to display the easy-going, relaxed confidence that you need to make people like you. It’s funny how it works, but it’s one of the biggest secrets to success when dealing with people in all areas of life.
What Would You Like to Do For Fun?
A big part of making new friends is engaging in activities that you consider to be fun, interesting and exciting. I’m not talking about solo activities like playing computer games, watching TV or going to the gym to lift weights. I’m talking about activities where you are interacting with other people in a fun, interesting and exciting way.
So, what do you usually do for fun that includes other people? If you don’t really know the answer to that right now, what would you like to do for fun if you had the opportunity? For instance, can you imagine yourself having a cool group of friends and being at a house party on a Saturday night that is full of single women? Would that be fun, interesting and exciting for you?
How about sports? Are you a sports fan? If you want to hang out with people who are into sports, head to a local sports bar or sports club. Talking about the team who is playing works as a great conversation starter.
You can say something like, “Hey, how you doing? Who do you think will win today?” and then have a general chat with the person. Many local bars and pubs are the designated hangout for a particular team and if you’re a fan, you’ll find others who will be happy to cheer along with you as you watch the team play.
Would you prefer to play a sport? If you’re more of a participant than a spectator, then join a team. Do a Google search or check out a local newspaper’s community calendar for information on neighborhood teams.
Baseball, bowling, pool, darts, martial arts, golf – whatever your interest, you will find people who share your enthusiasm for a sport or activity. As a bonus, if you join a mixed sports team (where men and women play together) you might just find your next girlfriend.
Are you into computer games? Head to a gaming conversation and approach people to ask for advice, or just make general chit-chat about something to do with the event, “Wow, there are a lot of new cool games this year…which one is your favorite?”
From sci-fi fans to sports car builders, spiritualists to woodworking hobbyists, there are conventions you can attend to meet others with your same interest. Most hobbies have associations with local chapters you can join or you can simply head over to the store where you buy your supplies.
Chances are you will bump into other hobby enthusiasts and strike up a conversation like this, “This shop has such a good selection hey? I love this place. How about you? What are you working on at the moment?”
It Only Takes One Friend to Get Things Going
Once you find one new friend, chances are that he or she will have other friends to introduce you to.
With a little effort and a true desire to meet new people, in a short time you’ll find that your new phone book and Facebook (or whatever app you use) is filled with many new, real-life friends.