To get your ex back, it’s really important that you understand what she wants you to do to get her back.
For example: She might want you to be confident and guide her back into a relationship regardless of how cold she is being towards you. She might want you to give her space for a few days and then contact her, meet up with her, show her that you’ve changed and then guide her back into a relationship.
In some ex-back situations, the woman absolutely hates her ex-boyfriend, fiancé or husband and she doesn’t want anything to do with him. Regardless of what he tries to say or do, she doesn’t want anything to do with him.
In other cases, the woman still does have feelings for her ex, but she’s not going to make that really obvious and make the process of getting her back very easy.
To be successful at getting a woman back after a break up, you have to get clear on what is really applicable in your situation.
For example: If your ex hates you and doesn’t want anything to do with you, then what you’re going to need to do is different than a guy who his ex still loves him, and has feelings for him and wants him to get her back.
If your ex hates you, you’re going to have to start using every interaction that you have with her from now on, whether that’s via text, phone call, in-person, whether she sees you on social media or you email her.
Every single interaction that you have with her (e.g. via text, on a phone call, in person) has to be an opportunity for you to make her feel some level of respect, attraction and love for you again.
On the other hand, if your ex still has feelings for you and she hopes that the relationship does get back together, what she needs from you is your masculine direction.
She doesn’t want you to ignore her, and just play that trick on her and expect her to call you, arrange a meetup and get the relationship back together.
You have to be masculine by taking the lead and making the reconciliation process happen rather than waiting around and hoping that she does it or that ignoring her will make her come running back. What a woman really wants is a man who knows what he wants, and has the skill and confidence to make it happen.
In most of the cases that I’ve helped a guy or a man get his woman back, the guy has been waiting way too long to attempt to get his ex back.
There’s an opportunity for him to text her to get on a phone call, or just call her up directly, arrange a meetup, meet up with her in person, get her respect and attraction back, get her to forgive him, and get her guard to start coming down and her to open up to him.
Some of the reasons that guys have given me for ignoring their ex:
- “I’m afraid to call her, because she might not want to hear from me.”
- “She’s already seeing a new guy, so she probably doesn’t want to meet up with me, and she probably won’t want to get back with me.”
- “She said that she no longer feels the same way about me.”
- “I’m going to ignore her and see if she comes running back to me.”
Here’s the thing though…
To get a woman back, you need to be a man about this. You have to be the masculine one. You have to guide her back into having feelings for you. You can’t just sit around waiting, hoping that it changes on its own, and you also shouldn’t expect her to be the one who fixes the relationship and gets it back together.
When getting a woman back, you need to be the stronger one. You need to have more courage. You need to take more emotional risks.
That’s why when guys ask me, “Should I tell my ex that I miss her?” I say yes. “Should I be friends with my ex?” I say yes.
What are the reasons for that?
Saying yes when she asks whether you miss her is an example of emotional strength. You are courageous. You are fearless when it comes to love. Nothing that you say is going to make you lose any power, because you are the man. You are the stronger one. You’re always in the power position, because you are the man.
However, telling her that you miss her has to be done in a strong way. It’s not, “Oh, yeah. I miss you. I just sit around thinking about you all the time. My life is crap without you and I can’t focus on work. I’m lost and I need you,” and things like that. That’s not how to tell a woman that you miss her.
Telling a woman that you miss her in a masculine way with strength is, “Yeah, of course I miss you. Life goes on. I’m working hard on _______ (e.g. your work or study) and continuing to focus on _______ (e.g. your big goals in life). I’m focused on those areas, but of course I miss you. You’re the girl that I love the most, and there’s no doubt at all that I miss you.”
It’s just that raw, honest masculinity where you’re fearless with love.
Women respect that kind of confident, non-needy honesty from a man who is continuing to move forward in life no matter what happens around him.
Women don’t respect guys who are wimpy and needy, and insecure and lost without them. A woman wants you to love her, and want her, and miss her and appreciate her, but she doesn’t want your whole world to crumble because she’s not in it.
In terms of staying friends with your ex, a lot of guys ask me, “Should I stay friends with her?” and the answer is yes.
The reason why I say yes is that when you interact with a woman, you can actively make her feel attracted to you.
Being in contact with your ex as a friend is not about acting like a friend who doubts his attractiveness to her. It’s also not about being a nice, sweet, polite friend to her and hoping that she takes pity on you. It’s about using the opportunity that you have to interact with her to make her feel some respect, attraction and love for you again.
When you make her feel respect, attraction and love for you again, she starts to have feelings for you again. Her guard comes down and she becomes open to meeting up with you.
Of course, if a woman hates her ex and currently doesn’t want to be with him, she will act as though anything that he’s saying or doing isn’t having a positive effect on her.
However, if you are making her feel respect for you (e.g. you’re being emotionally strong, you’re being a man, you’re fearless with love and you’re making her feel attracted to you in different ways that I explain in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System), then she is going to have feelings for you whether she shows it or openly admits it.
When you spark her feelings for you, she literally goes from thinking of you in a negative way to having positive thoughts about you and laughing when she’s talking to you on the phone, laughing and smiling when she’s interacting with you in person.
When that happens, she can’t stop herself from being more open.
If she continues to be cold, bitchy, mean and closed off to you, it just won’t make sense to her to behave in that way for long. She’ll be thinking, “Why am I being so mean to him? I feel good around him now. I’m smiling,” and she then relaxes.
She Needs Your Masculine Direction
If you want to get your woman back, you have to be the one who provides the direction towards the reconciliation. You’ve got to provide her with your masculine direction by remaining emotionally strong no matter what tests she throws at you.
Guide her back into having feelings for you again by believing that you can make her feel SOME level of respect, attraction and love every time you interact with her, rather than doubting your ability to make her have feelings for you again.
When getting a girlfriend, fiance or wife back, you have to be the more courageous one. You have to be the stronger one. If you can do that, she will start to respect you. When a woman respects you, she can then feel attracted to you much more easily.
If a woman doesn’t respect a guy (e.g. she looks down on him, doesn’t really think much of him) and he then tries to do things to make her feel attracted (e.g. getting her laughing and smiling while he’s talking to her), she’s not going to really buy it.
She’s going to be thinking, “Well, I don’t really respect you. Nice try getting me to laugh, but it’s not working” because she doesn’t actually look up to him. She doesn’t see him as the man. She looks down on him.
You can make her look up to you and respect you again, you can make her feel attracted to you again, and you can make her reconnect with the love that she once had for you.
If you don’t know how to do that, I explain the whole thing in Get Your Ex Back: Super System. It’s a 7-step system that you follow and if you go through the seven steps, you’ll be back in a relationship with her and it will be better than the relationship that you had before.
Be the Man and Make This Happen
When it comes to guiding your ex back into a relationship, you need to be a man and make it happen.
If your ex is still madly in love with you and she’s going to miss you, then she’ll come running back to you without you having to be a confident man and guide her back into a relationship.
However, if your ex doesn’t have feelings for you at this point and doesn’t want to be with you, the next step for you is to start guiding her back into a relationship with you. The way to do that is to begin making her feel some level of respect, attraction and love for you whenever she interacts with you.
For example: If a woman dumped a guy because he was too insecure, he’s going to need to show her that he’s become emotionally stronger since the breakup.
The best way to show her that is how he talks to her on the phone and how he interacts with her in person. He can also show her a little bit of that via social media, but the biggest impact will happen when he talks to her on the phone, and in person, and she sees that he really has changed and become a stronger man.
Another example is where a woman has dumped a guy because he lacked purpose and direction in life. As a result, he was too clingy and just wanted to spend all of his time with her.
In that case, to get her respect back, the guy needs to show her that he has decided on his goals and ambitions for life, and he’s started to make progress towards them. He’s no longer hiding from his true potential as a man, and he’s starting to make progress towards achieving his biggest goals and dreams in life.
Of course, doing either of those things doesn’t automatically get an ex back. It’s simply a way to make her feel some level of respect for you again.
When a woman feels respect for you, she can then feel attracted to you. When she feels respect and attraction, she’ll start to reconnect with the love that she had for you before.
So if you’re at a point now where you’ve been trying to get your ex back and nothing has been working, what I recommend that you do is start the process by getting her to respect you again.
This can be achieved on a phone call and by meeting up with her in person. You can also start to get a bit of respect back via text messages and via social media.
Just make sure that you use every interaction to make her feel something for you and then use your confidence and masculinity to guide her back into a relationship with you, regardless of how cold or distant she is being.