If your ex is saying, “Maybe I like you, maybe I don’t,” it’s usually because she needs you to confidently guide her back into a relationship by activating her feelings whenever she interacts with you.
The longer you wait for her to come to you, the more likely it is that she will think that you’re not interested and then just move on with her life.
For example: A guy might think, “My ex said maybe I like you, maybe I don’t. So, if I push her to make a decision about getting back together, she might get annoyed with me and then I’ll lose any chance that I have with her.”
He might then sit around for days, weeks, months and, in some cases that I’ve seen, even years waiting for his ex to decide that she wants him back.
Then, when he finds out that she has moved on with another guy he likely thinks, “So, she didn’t want me back after all. I was right not to try to get her back…if I did, I would have made a fool of myself and gotten rejected by her.”
Yet, what a guy like that doesn’t realize is that to get an ex back, he needs to be a man about it.
As the man, it’s up to you to take the lead and not wait around for your ex to tell you that it’s 100% okay to get back together again.
Instead, you need to actively focus on re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you every chance that you get from now on (e.g. via text, e-mail, social media message, on a phone call, in person).
Regardless of what she says and does, you need to show her (by the attractive way that you now think, talk, behave when interacting with her) that she will be losing out if she doesn’t get back together with you quickly.
For example: When a woman has lost touch with her feelings of respect and attraction for a guy and then breaks up with him, she may think, “I’m not sure if my ex is man enough for me at this point of his life. Sure, he’s not all bad and we definitely had some good times together, but I don’t know if that’s enough to keep us together for life.”
She might then say things to him like, “Maybe I like you, maybe I don’t,” or “I think I want to get back together with you, but I’m just not sure” to test his reaction.
When a woman says something like that, it’s up to you as the man to be the more emotionally strong one and show her that you have confidence in yourself and your attractiveness to her.
Where a lot of guys go wrong is to waste time listening to her change her mind all the time and hope that she will wake up one day and think to herself, “Okay! I’ve made up my mind now. I do like my ex, so I’m going to call him up and tell him that I want to get back together again and everything will be perfect.”
Here’s the thing…
In almost all ex back cases, for a man to get an ex girlfriend (fiancé or wife) back, he has to be the emotionally stronger one.
He has to have the courage to follow through on the ex back process, even if his ex is being wishy washy or vague about her feelings.
As a man, it’s also up to you to take the lead by reactivating her feelings of respect and attraction for you whenever you interact with her.
Asking Her What She Means
When a woman is saying things like, “Maybe I like you, maybe I don’t,” it’s only natural that a guy might then want her to explain exactly what she means.
For example: A guy might ask his ex, “What does that mean? I don’t understand. How can you not know whether you like me or not? Either you do or you don’t. Why don’t you just tell me what you want me to do to make you like me again and get this relationship back together?”
It seems like the logical thing for a guy to do, right?
Yes, but that’s not what a woman wants.
A woman wants the guy to understand that what she is really saying is, “The door is still open to you getting back together with me, but you need to make it happen.”
However, being a woman, she’s not going to come right out and say that to him because she doesn’t want to make it too easy for him and she also doesn’t want to become the boss or the leader of the relationship.
She wants him to lead the way by being the more emotionally strong, courageous one, rather than expecting her to hold his hand and guide him through the ex back process.
At this point, a lot of guys might be asking, “Why doesn’t she just say what she means? Why all the mind games? Why can’t she just help us get the relationship back together? Why do I have to do everything and lead the way?”
Men and women are different.
A woman wants to be with a man who doesn’t require her to take on the role of his teacher or protector in life.
She wants to just relax into being a man’s woman.
So, when she doesn’t explain exactly what she means and gives mixed signals, she’s hoping to see that her ex will have the self-confidence and emotional courage to get her back, regardless of the possibility that he might initially get rejected.
Women do this to test a guy’s confidence because it’s an important part of what makes a woman feel safe with a man in this world.
She wants to know that her man will remain emotionally strong and go after what he wants in life, regardless of any challenges or that he might encounter along the way.
So, if you ask your ex to explain what she means when she says, “Maybe I like you, maybe I don’t,” you’re essentially telling her you’re not man enough to work it out by yourself.
You’re saying to her that you don’t know how to be a man and are stuck unless she helps you.
She then thinks, “Well, if he can’t figure out that I want him to take the initiative and get back together with me, then he isn’t yet ready to be a man that I can rely on to lead the way now and throughout our life together. If I have to explain it to him now, then chances are high that I will always have to keep teaching him how to be the man that I need. I don’t want to do that! I don’t want to be his teacher or mother figure in this life. I won’t be able to look up to him and respect him as a man, because deep down I’ll always be wondering if he would have made an effort to get me back if I hadn’t told him how to do it. I don’t want to hold his hand and guide him through the process of getting me back together. If he can’t work it out on his own or get the help that he needs, I’m just going to move on.”
Even though some guys might think that it’s unfair, the fact is that most women just don’t want to play the role of being a guy’s teacher in life.
Your ex girlfriend (fiancé or wife) wants to feel as though you are leading the way in the relationship and that she can look up to you, respect you and feel attracted to you.
However, even though she wants that, don’t expect her to make it easy for you!
She Will Almost Certainly Play Hard to Get
It would be nice if your ex just came out and said, “Yes, I still like you. Let’s get back together again.”
Yet, it’s not that simple.
For her to really want you back, she needs to feel that she is winning or gaining something because you are now the kind of guy that she can feel proud to call her man.
She doesn’t expect you to be perfect and become Mr. Wonderful overnight, but you do need to improve on the areas that have been turning her off (e.g. your insecurity).
So, rather than just coming out and saying, “Yes, I like you and I want to get back together again,” right away, a woman will usually first play hard to get to see whether or not you’ve now got what she’s looking for in a boyfriend (fiancé or husband).
If you remain calm and relaxed and confidently focus on sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you every chance that you get, she will begin to feel lucky to be getting back together again with you.
Based on your quick changes and improvement, she can now think, “Hmmm…he’s an emotionally strong man who is confident, determined and willing to go after what he really wants in life now. No matter what obstacles he comes across, he digs deep and keeps pushing forward. I respect him for that and I feel lucky to have a guy like him who loves me so much and can make me feel so safe because he is so emotionally strong. I would be a fool to let him go.”
On the other hand, if you crumble at her first sign of resistance, she will most-likely perceive you as being emotionally weak, lacking in self-confidence and unable to cope with the challenges that life throws at you, and she will then think, “If he can’t even cope with a little resistance from me now, what will happen if things get too difficult in life? Will he expect me to take care of him? I don’t want to do that. I want a man who I can lean on for support. I don’t want to be a mother figure in my guy’s life. I want a man.”
By the way…
Something to bear in mind is that you can’t fake confidence and pretend to be emotionally strong because your true nature will inevitably come through in subtle and obvious ways when you interact with your ex.
For example: When a guy is talking to his ex and she is saying, “Maybe I like you, maybe I don’t,” he might then put on an act of being confident around her by pretending that he doesn’t care what she decides and that he’s totally fine without her.
He might say to her, “Well, I don’t care if you like me or not. Do whatever you want. I’m happy with whatever you decide.”
She will then pick up on the fact that he’s only pretending to be confident and pretending that he doesn’t care, so she will then test him.
She will say something like, “I don’t know what to do. I really can’t make up my mind. There’s another guy who is interested me and I can’t decide between the two of you. What do you think I should do?”
If he then gets upset or angry, and maybe says something like, “How can you do this to me? I love you and want to be with you. How could you move on so quickly like that? Why don’t you give you and me a chance?” she will see that he really does care and was simply putting on an act.
On the other hand, if he reacts by staying calm and laughing at her about it by saying in a joking way, “Well, if I was you I’d definitely pick the other guy! I’m way too much of a man for you to handle now, so go for him instead. He’ll be nice and sweet, whereas all I will do is bend you over and bang you if I see you again” she will most-likely laugh or smile.
She will then naturally begin to feel respect for him again for being confident enough to make a joke in a moment like that.
So, don’t worry if your ex said that she isn’t sure whether or not she likes you and wants to be with you.
Instead, just focus on remaining confident and actively making her have feelings for you again, by showing her the new and improved version of you when you interact with her (e.g. via text, on the phone, or in person), and then confidently guiding her back into a relationship.
Same Approach Usually Equals the Same Results
Albert Einstein was apparently quoted as saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.”
In the same way, a mistake that many guys make is continuing to attempt to get an ex back in the same old ways (e.g. begging, pleading, convincing, ignoring) and then wondering why it doesn’t work.
If you want to get your ex back, you need to change your approach and do what actually works.
What works is switching your focus to actively making her have strong feelings for you again and then guiding her back into a relationship.
Don’t waste time trying to convince her to give you another chance, or ignoring her in the hope that she comes running back one day.
Just get her back now and get on with enjoying a great relationship together again.
Don’t waste time making the same old mistakes with her and expecting that you’re going to get a different result for some magical reason.
For example: A guy got broken up with by his girlfriend (fiancé or wife) for being too insecure, self-doubting and needy around her.
He may have constantly asked her things like, “Do you really love me?” or, “Are you still attracted to me?” or “You wouldn’t break up with me would you? You know that I couldn’t live without you,” or “You’re so beautiful and amazing, what are you doing with a guy like me? What guarantee do I have that you’re not going to leave me one day?”
He might also have dropped most or all of his hobbies, interests, and even friends that he had before meeting her, so that he could spend every spare moment with her.
In his mind, he feels like he’s doing the right thing.
“This is what a good boyfriend (fiancé or husband) should do. I’m showing her that she’s the most important person in my life and that nothing and no one is as important to me as she is.”
Yet, rather than make her feel loved and appreciated, his actions come across to her as needy, clingy and insecure, so she loses respect and attraction for him, falls out of love and then breaks up with him.
If he wants to get her back, he first needs to show her that he’ not the same insecure, needy guy that she remembers.
He can’t just come out and say to her, “Look, I know you hated it when I was clingy and needy around you, but don’t worry I’m over that now. Let’s get back together and you can see for yourself that I’ve changed,” because she’s probably not going to believe him.
Instead, he has to show her via his actions and behavior that he really has changed.
For example: She might test him by acting interested one minute and then pulling away the next.
She will expect him to react like he used to when they were together (e.g. get upset, tell her how much he still loves her and how he can’t live without her, beg and plead with her for another chance).
Yet, if he reacts by remaining relaxed and even turning her behavior into something to laugh about, she will begin to see him in a more positive light and start to reconnect with her original feelings for him.
All of a sudden, she will experience a renewed sense of respect for him, and it will then become a lot easier for her to reconnect with her feelings of love for him.
Turning a Maybe Into a Yes
When a guy says, “My ex said maybe I like you, maybe I don’t,” it’s likely that he’s also thinking, “If I give her enough time to think about it, she will hopefully make up her mind, finally say and choose me as her man.”
Unfortunately, that’s not usually how it works in real life.
These days, all it takes for a woman to get a new man is get on a dating app or online dating site and she will instantly have 100s of guys who want to meet up with her for a date.
If she wants to get laid, she only has to go out to a bar or nightclub and say, “Yes” to the many guys who want to have sex with her that night.
So, when a guy gives his ex a lot of space, she will often hook up with new guys to make herself better about the fact that her ex is ignoring her.
One of those guys could make her feel more respect and attraction than her ex did, so he then gets left behind.
He has no idea how to get her back and is just sitting around, waiting and hoping that her maybe turns into a yes.
If you want your ex to make up her mind, say “Yes” and come back to you, then you’ve got to take the lead and get her back.
By saying and doing the type of things that will make her feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction, and love for you from now on.
Don’t waste any more time doing the type of things that rarely work (e.g. trying to reason with her, begging and pleading, offering to do whatever she wants, giving her lots of space so that she can make up her mind).
Instead, just focus on making her feel good when she interacts with you (e.g. via text, e-mail, on social media, on a phone call, in person).
For example: If you interact with your ex over the phone, or you meet up with her in person, focus on making her smile, laugh and feel happy to be talking to you.
The more she enjoys being around you, the more that her feelings of respect and attraction for you will build.
When that happens, she won’t be able to stop herself from saying something like, “I know that I’ve been saying maybe I like you, maybe I don’t lately, but that’s not true anymore. I really do like you again and I think we should get back together.”
That’s how you can make your ex make up her mind about you very quickly.
You’ve got to reactivate her feelings and then confidently guide her back into a relationship with you, rather than giving her time to decide on her own whether she likes you or not.