To stop your wife from leaving, you need to make a sudden change in how you communicate with her and interact with her, to let her see that you really have changed.
For example: If one of the reasons why she is tired of the marriage is that there is no romantic spark anymore, you need to actively create a spark by getting her laughing, smiling and feeling good around you from now on.
If another reason why she wants to leave is that she doesn’t respect you anymore, you need to begin thinking, talking, behaving and taking action in a way that makes her feel a renewed sense of respect for you.
In other words, the main thing you need to focus on is changing her feelings right away.
Don’t try to convince her with logic and reasoning.
Focus on changing her feelings by using a different approach to your interactions.
That is what really matters and what works to stop a wife from leaving and to get her back if she does decide to leave.
What Happened to the “Until Death Us Do Part” Promise?
A sad, but important truth about marriage is that it’s not bulletproof.
Even when a couple makes a vow to stay together for life on their wedding day, the reality is that they will usually only stay together for as long as they are both happy, and want to stay together.
Unlike in the past, where marriage was for life and a wife had to stick with her husband regardless of whether she wanted to or not, in today’s world, thinking that a woman will stay married just because she once said, “I do” is unrealistic.
A modern woman can leave her husband if she decides to do so, because she is not his property.
If a woman feels that her husband is treating her badly (e.g. being mentally or physically abusive), or he is turning her off (e.g. by being insecure, taking her for granted, being controlling, not being a man of his word), and her feelings of respect and attraction for him fade away, she lives in a society that says it’s okay to leave.
She might stick around for a while, but if she gets sick and tired of being in an unhappy marriage while her friends or other family members are in happy marriages, she will eventually want to leave.
These days, a woman doesn’t stick around just because a relationship felt good at the start.
As a husband, you’ve got to be able to build on her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you over time, and not just rely on the wedding vows that she made in the beginning or on the idea that marriages are supposed to last a lifetime.
If you want your wife to stay with you for life, you’ve actually got to be the sort of man that she wants to stay with for life.
A Renewed Sense of Respect and Attraction Will Change Her Perspective
When you actively spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you again, it suddenly makes the negatives of your relationship seem less important to her.
For example: Depending on her reasons for wanting to leave, she might begin to change how she feels about leaving you.
She might think, “I know that life has gotten pretty boring and we’ve fallen into bit of a rut, but lately he really has changed. He’s making an effort to make me feel like the sexy woman I was at the beginning of our relationship. It feels good. Maybe we can still work things out,” or “Wow! My husband has really changed in his thinking and behavior. He seems so much more lovable and attractive. Maybe I’ve been too hard on him. Maybe I should give us more of a chance here.”
Regardless of the troubles you and her have been through, she suddenly begins to feel drawn to you in a way that feels good to her, and she can’t stop herself from wanting to stick around a bit longer.
On the other hand, if you continue talking, doing, and behaving in ways that turn her off, she’s going to be saying “I know you want to save our marriage, but I don’t feel like there’s anything more we can do. I just don’t love you anymore. I don’t the way that I used to. I’m sorry.”
Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures
Most husbands are good men, so when a wife says that she doesn’t want to be married anymore it’s only normal for a good husband to think, “How do I stop my wife from leaving? I’ll do anything. I love her so much. I am willing to change whatever she wants to keep her happy.”
Unfortunately, that is where many men go wrong because they begin saying and doing things that make their wife feel even more determined to leave.
Some examples of the desperate measures a guy might resort to, include the following…
1. Begging her to stay.
When a wife tells husband that she’s leaving, it’s completely natural that he might feel shocked by her change of heart and how it will now impact his life.
In his panic, he may then lose control of himself and start begging her to stay, “Please darling! I love you so much. We can work this out. I beg you… don’t do this to us. Please don’t throw away what we have together. I am begging you to give me another chance. I would be lost without you. I need you. Please!!!”
Yet, falling to pieces in front of his wife and begging, pleading or even crying, in the hopes that she will change her mind, usually makes her pull away even more.
Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. self-respect, his ability to cope with stressful situations) and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. lack of self confidence, falling to pieces when things get difficult), so when a man begs and pleads because he doesn’t know how to handle a difficult situation, it’s a huge turn off for a woman.
This is especially true in a marriage because one of the main reasons a woman gets married is to have a man who will make her feel safe and protected for life, not an emotionally weak guy that she has to take care of like a mother would take care of her son.
So, when a man resorts to begging his wife to stay, a few things happen in her head:
- She loses even more respect and attraction for him because he is being emotionally weak in front of her.
- She feels that he’s not really facing the deeper issues in their relationship and he’s just hoping that by begging and pleading, she’ll stop wanting to leave and will give him yet another chance.
- She feels like she has to console him like a mother would for a child and that only makes her lose more attraction for him.
More than anything else, a wife needs to know that her husband is someone she can look up to, respect, and rely on to guide both of them through the difficult times.
She doesn’t want to feel that he can’t really cope without her and she will have to stay without him out of pity.
However, don’t worry if you’ve already begged your wife to stay.
Here’s how you can fix it…
You can still change how she feels about you by being emotionally strong from now on, and by focusing on making her feel a renewed sense of respect, sexual attraction and love.
Another mistake that husbands often make when a wife wants to leave is…
2. Promising her the world.
When a man realizes that his wife is on the verge of leaving him, he might start promising her all sorts of things in an attempt to make her change her mind.
- I will start taking you on holidays. Where do you want to go?
- I’ll give you more of my paycheck so you can have extra spending money. How much do you want?
- I’ll work longer hours to earn more money.
- I’ll do anything you want me to do.
- I’ll clean up around the house. You don’t have to do anything anymore.
- You can call all the shots now. I will listen to anything that you say and do anything you want.
While a wife might be flattered at how much her husband cares, him becoming her slave isn’t going to make her feel more respect and attraction for him.
In fact, the more he tries to suck up to her, the less she feels for him.
Watch this video for more info…
What a wife wants to see is that her husband understands the problems and is already making changes because he wants to do it.
She doesn’t want to see her husband frantically promising her the world in the hope of keeping her happy because it then means that he is just her puppet.
She wants a man who is his own man and does the right thing because he enjoys doing it, wants to do it and is happy to do it.
Not because he is feeling desperate, is trying to suck up to her and is willing to hand over all of his power to her to make her stay.
In most cases, a husband will begin to promise things to his wife that she doesn’t even really care about deep down.
For example: He might suddenly remember that his wife has been nagging him about watching too much TV and not going out enough.
He might then promise her that he will stop watching TV at nights and will plan a romantic dinners or “date nights” for the two of them often.
What he doesn’t realize is that when a woman nags about a man’s TV habits, it’s usually because she doesn’t like the idea of being married to a guy who has no drive and ambition in life.
He thinks that he’s offering her what she wants by suggesting date nights and no TV at night time, but he’s failing to see the deeper problem behind her nagging, which is the fact that he’s either stuck in a dead end job or has no desire to make their life better by rising higher in his career.
Almost all women want to be with a man who has a bigger purpose in life that drives him.
She wants to feel proud of her man when they attend family gatherings and when she introduces him to new friends and coworkers.
So, when a husband with mediocre or no ambition starts promising to do extra nice things for his wife, it doesn’t hit the mark with her.
It only highlights to her that he’s still clueless about the real problems in the marriage, and that even if she gives him another chance, the same problems will probably continue.
So, rather than promising your wife that you will do anything she wants you to do, focus instead on changing the real things about you that have been turning her off.
Maybe you are a man of purpose and have achieved great things in life, so for you it might be about the fact that you’ve taken her for granted lately instead.
Whatever the case is for you, when your wife sees that your thinking, talking, behavior and the way you take action is different from what has been turning her off, she will begin to feel a renewed sense of respect for you.
That is a lot more effective and long lasting than making promises about things that she doesn’t really care about or want anyway.
3. Trying to use the children or a mortgage as the main reason to stay together.
Sometimes, a man will do whatever he can to stop his wife from leaving, even if it means trying to make her feel guilty.
For example: A man might say to his wife, “What about the children? Do you really want to be the one responsible for scarring them for life and ruining their ability to keep a marriage together? We should try to make our marriage work for their sake. They need good role models. If you leave me, you will be a horrible role model for our children” or “We’ve just bought a new house. We’ll both lose a lot of money if we get divorced. Do you really want to do that to yourself?”
Although they are good arguments, the fact is that a modern woman doesn’t want to be forced to stay with a man out of a sense of guilt or pity.
She wants to be with him because she loves him and because he is someone she can look up to, rely on and respect.
Even if a wife decides to stay out of feelings of guilt, if nothing about him really changes she will be even more determined to leave the next time.
4. Not focusing on making her feel a renewed sense of respect, sexual attraction and love.
Albert Einstein apparently once said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
In the same way, if you are saying and doing things that are turning your wife off, you can’t expect to get different results to the ones you’ve been getting (i.e. your wife wanting to leave).
So, if you want to stop your wife from leaving, you’ve got to start saying and doing things that will make her feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction, and love for you from now on.
When you do that, her guard will slowly come down and she will naturally feel her resolve slipping away.
A wife seldom wants to give up on her marriage if she doesn’t absolutely have to, so she will usually try to look for ways to make things better.
However, if her husband never steps up to the plate, she has to start the process of leaving to scare him into changing or to move on and try starting a new chapter of her life without him.
You can stop that from happening before it’s too late.
When you change the way you communicate and interact with your wife in a way that sparks her feelings of respect and attraction for you again, it makes the negatives of your relationship seem less important to her, because she naturally begins to see you in a different light.
In the back of her mind, she may begin to wonder, “Maybe it’s not too late to save our marriage. Maybe I should stick around for a while longer and see if we can work things out. I feel differently now. I’m not as determined to leave. Things seem okay now. It will be so much hassle trying to start again on my own. I’ll stick it out for another year and see how it goes.”
That’s what happens when you focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Husbands who try to skip that step and focus only on trying to convince her to stay are the ones who lose their wife.
For example: If a man tries to reason with his wife and explain to her that he can change, she’s usually going to say something like, “Look, I think we need to accept that this isn’t working out between us. I just don’t feel the same way anymore.”
Essentially, what she’s saying is that she just doesn’t have feelings for him and that he doesn’t even know how to make her have enough feelings for him to warrant sticking with the marriage.
5. Getting into arguments and debates rather than focusing on making her laugh, smile and feel good.
When a marriage reaches the point where the wife is getting ready to leave, it’s not unusual for the couple to catch themselves getting into crazy arguments and verbally attacking each other.
However, arguing and debating about the same things over and over again, only keeps the situation at the same level, where both the husband and wife feel hurt, misunderstood and betrayed.
So, rather than getting into endless arguments and debates with your wife, focus instead on making her laugh and feeling good again.
Instead of talking about how good things used to be in the beginning of your relationship, which will only remind her how bad things have really gotten now, focus on replacing her negative feelings with positive ones.
For example: If your wife gets upset with you about something, rather than react in the usual way by defending yourself, or blaming her, turn it into something you can laugh about together.
It’s not about cracking jokes in a disrespectful way, but about finding the positive in every situation.
When she can relax, smile, laugh and be her feminine self in your presence once again, it will be difficult for her to hold on to her decision to leave.
She will feel good around you, she will be smiling and the negatives of your marriage will begin to feel less important to her.
So, if you want to stop your wife from leaving make sure that you focus on making her experience a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Don’t try to convince her to stay with endless logic and reason.
Make her want to stay by making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction to the new and improved you.