That’s a good question to ask, but an even better question is, “How can you get her to take you back?”
If you are focused on the negative reality of her not wanting you back (i.e. thinking, “Will she ever take me back?”), then you’re not doing what it takes to actually get a woman back.
To get a woman back, you have to take control of the situation by actively re-attracting her, rather than leaving it all up to her.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
As you will discover from the video above, a man can literally create feelings of respect, attraction and love inside of his ex woman.
When he does that, he can then get her back.
So, to dive deeper now and help you out even more, here are 5 tips on how to get her back…
1. Understand what will make her want to take you back
Right now, you may not know all of the secret reasons why your ex decided to break up with you.
In many cases, a guy will know some of a woman’s obvious reasons for leaving (e.g. she was tired of trying to make the relationship work), but a lot of the time, there are also deeper, more subtle reasons that she never even mentions.
For example: A man and a woman might always be arguing about him spending too much time playing video games, or watching TV, so he will recognize that as one of her reasons for breaking up with him.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that one of her more subtle, secret reasons is that she feels like he has no focus and direction in life, which makes her feel unsafe about a long term future with him.
His lack of direction makes her wonder, “What kind of future do I have with him? Will he ever stop playing games and get serious about his life, or will I have to pick up the slack and take care of both of us? That’s not what I want for the long run. I want to feel safe, protected and taken care of by a man who is rising through the levels of life and reaching for his true potential, rather than just rising through the levels of a pretend game. Why doesn’t he see that I need him to focus on our real life and make me feel safe about our future? Maybe it’s time for me to break it off and try to start again with a new guy.”
She might not ever tell him that and may end up saying, “I just don’t feel the same way anymore. I think we should break up.”
He is then left feeling confused about what he needs to change to get her back.
So, he promises to stop gaming, start going to gym more and start treating her better.
Yet, that’s not what she wants.
She doesn’t care if he goes to the gym or not and for the most part, he was already treating her quite well.
She wants him to rise up and start reaching for his true potential as a man, rather than hiding behind the safety and comfort of a computer game reality.
She doesn’t want to tell him that though, because she doesn’t want him to start faking interest in pursuing a dream or career, just to keep her for a little while longer and then eventually give up on that dream.
So, she just ends the relationship and hopes to find a man who is more mature and is approaching his life in a more balanced, productive manner.
In the same way, you might know about some of your ex’s reasons for breaking up with you, but not all of them.
If you want her to take you back, you need to begin the process by truly understanding what it will take for her to do that.
You have to get absolutely clear about what you need to start saying and doing to properly re-attract her.
For example: Ask yourself…
- What is it about me that initially attracted her to me (e.g. your confidence, drive and determination, sense of humor)?
- Did I continue to display those attractive qualities throughout the relationship, or did I slowly fall into the habit of behaving in less attractive ways (e.g. stopped focusing on your goals and became too emotionally dependent on her, began to doubt your attractiveness to her and became needy and clingy as a result, became too serious and uptight about things, rather than being easy-going, loving and fun to be around)?
- Did I try to get her to accept things about me that just aren’t attractive to her (e.g. you wanted her to lead the relationship, you displayed annoying habits that she clearly didn’t like)?
When you can honestly answer those questions for yourself, you will have a much better idea about what you need to say and do to get her back.
Essentially, what you need to do is more of the things that initially attracted her to you and less of the things that turned her off.
For example: You need to maintain your confidence around her regardless of what she says or does to make you feel insecure or doubt yourself.
You need to use humor to break down her defenses and stop her from creating unnecessary drama when she talks to you.
You need to change the things about yourself were turning her off, rather than expecting her to want you back without any upgrades.
When your ex can see that you’ve understood what she wants from you and have already changed, she won’t be able to stop feeling some respect and attraction for you again for being a man of action.
When that happens, her defenses will come down and she will naturally begin to wonder about what it would feel like to be your girl again.
The next tip to help you get your ex back is…
2. Get ready to re-attract her on a phone call
If you really want to re-attract your ex and make her want to meet up with you in person (where you can get her back for real), you need to get her on a phone call with you as soon as possible.
When you do call her, don’t let her dominate you with her strong personality (e.g. she tells you to leave her alone, she brings up up all your past mistakes and blames you for the break up.)
Instead, make sure that you are ready to be confident, get her laughing and smiling and create an easy-going vibe on the call.
One way to get ready for the phone call is to imagine the call between you and her going really well.
Imagine that she is really enjoying talking to you again and loves how confident you are now.
To feel confident, remind yourself about all of your good qualities and the reasons she fell in love with you in the first place.
Believe in yourself and in your worth to her.
Know that she can your girl once again.
Sure, you made some mistakes in the past, but you’re not that guy anymore.
You’re such a better man now.
You’ve made adjustments and improvements to yourself since the break up and she’s now going to be interacting with an upgraded, much more attractive version of you.
So, in actual fact, she would be losing out if she didn’t give you another chance.
Believe that you are that valuable and attractive as a man.
When you feel that way about yourself, you will naturally come across as confident (i.e. attractive) when you talk to her on the phone.
When she experiences your confidence and emotional strength (via the tonality of your voice and the way you talk and respond to her), she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some attraction for you again.
The next tip to help you get your ex back is to…
3. Get ready to re-attract her in person
Once you’ve started re-attracting your ex over the phone, the next step is to get ready to fully re-attract her in person.
Remember: No matter how well your phone call went with her, or how happy she sounded over the phone, you’re not actually back together unless you and her meet up, hook up sexually and get back into a relationship.
So, don’t hide behind phone calls or text messages in the hope that she one day says, “Let’s meet up! I want you!”
You’ve got to push the action and make something happen.
Meet up with her in person, so she can feel attracted to you for real and see that you really have changed and really do make her feel differently now.
Not feeling confident about that?
Once again, imagine things going well when you and her meet up.
For example: See yourself walking into the selected meeting place with your head high, chest up and feeling confident about yourself.
You are well groomed, you look good and you feel great.
When she arrives, you confidently smile at her and say, “Hey – How are you?”
No matter how she responds (e.g. if she’s being cold and distant), you remain calm and relaxed and se humor to lighten the mood.
Before you know it, she is laughing, smiling and having a good time talking to you.
She then says something like, “To be honest, I really didn’t want to see you today, but I’m glad we did this. You’ve changed a lot, you know? I wish you were like this before.”
When it’s time to for her to leave, she gives you a warm hug goodbye, which then leads to a kiss and then sex.
All of that is possible.
You just have to believe in yourself and your ability to make her feel sparks of sexual attraction for you again.
Then, when you do meet up with her, you’ll be amazed at how everything turns out, pretty much exactly as you imagined it.
The next tip to help you get your ex back is…
4. Build on her feelings once you’ve re-attracted her
Building on your ex’s newfound feelings is the best way to ensure that you get her back and keep her back.
Make sure that during every interaction you have with her from now on (via text or e-mail, on social media, over the phone and especially in person), you are saying and doing things that make her feel even more respect and attraction for you than before.
For example: Make her laugh and smile and enjoy talking to you.
Then, when she’s alone and missing you, she will begin to think things like, “I can’t believe how much I’m thinking about him these days. I actually miss him when I don’t hear from him. What is happening to me? Could I be falling back in love with him again? Should we get back together?”
The more attracted you make her feel, the less she focuses on the negatives of the past and the more she feels drawn to the idea of being with you again.
From there, even if she previously said she would never take you back, the idea suddenly starts to appeal to her more and more.
As long as you know what you’re doing and are able to handle the ex back process, you will get her back and you will enjoy a new, even better relationship with her.
The next tip to help you get your ex back is…
5. Don’t push her to commit to a relationship right away
As soon as your ex starts showing interest in getting back together, you may be tempted to say something along the lines of, “Hey, we’re clearly getting along well again, so why waste any more time? Let’s get back together.”
If she is totally ready for it, she might say yes, but if she’s not, she will feel like you’re moving too fast and will begin to feel unsure about what she wants.
So, don’t put that kind of pressure on her too early.
Instead, just focus on making her feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction for you whenever you and her are interacting.
Let her really want you back, rather than trying to pressure her into making a decision.
That way, when she’s ready to take you back, it will happen naturally all by itself, without any prompting from you, because she will really want it too.
3 Mistakes to Avoid Making if You Want Her to Take You Back
If you’re at a point where you’re wondering things like, “Will she ever take me back?” you might feel like there isn’t much of a chance for you and her anymore.
You really can get her back.
To ensure that you do, I recommend that you avoid making one or more of the following mistakes that other guys make when in your situation…
1. Waiting and hoping that she will eventually miss you, or get tired of being with other guys
That’s definitely a possibility, but relying on it as your main way to hopefully get her back one day is a bad idea.
In most cases that I’ve seen, if an ex guy doesn’t take action to actively re-attract her and get her back, a woman will just move on with another guy.
This is why I always recommend that a guy quickly improves his ability to attract his ex, interacts with her, attracts her, hooks up with her and gets her back.
That’s the most effective, highest success rate approach to getting an ex woman back.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t realize that until it’s too late.
For example: Sometimes, a guy will wait around for months, or even years, hoping that his ex will forgive him, realize that she misses him and then come and get him back.
He might say to himself, “Even though she’s not interested in getting back together with me right now, maybe if I wait long enough and show her that I am not moving on, she will see how dedicated I am to her and will want me back,” or “When she gets hurt by all the bad boys that she’s dating, she will start seeing that no other guy will ever love her the way I do. She will then contact me and we’ll get back together.”
Of course, that can happen in some cases, but after helping men with this area of life for many, many years now, I can tell you that it rarely, if ever, happens.
What works is actively re-attracting your ex and getting her back.
In other words, you need to take control of the process, rather than waiting around and hoping that she comes back on her own one day, or decades from now.
Well, have you heard the old expression, “Out of sight, out of mind?”
In the case of an ex who has disconnected from her feelings for a guy (i.e. she no longer feels attracted and in love with him), the expression rings true.
Instead missing him and hoping to get him back, she simply moves on and falls in love with a guy who makes her feel attracted.
She doesn’t go running back to a guy that she’s no longer attracted to or in love with.
If he wants her back, he has to do something about it.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Not improving your ability to attract her
When a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because she’s no longer attracted to him (e.g. something about his behavior, attitude, actions or way of life turned her off).
So, if he wants to get her back, he has to level up and improve his ability to attract her in new and more interesting ways (e.g. using ballsy humor when talking to her, making her feel girly and feminine in comparison to his masculine approach the conversation or interaction).
Making her feel attracted in new and interesting ways is what creates a spark between you and her.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t prepare themselves correctly and mistakenly talk to their ex woman in a neutral, friendly way and just hope that something happens.
She senses that her ex hasn’t changed, doesn’t feel a spark and ends the call or catch up to get away from him.
She says something like, “Look, I know you mean well, but I need you to understand that it’s over between us. We’re not going to get back together again and you need to accept that and move on. I wish you all the best.”
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Focusing on her good qualities while focusing on your negative qualities
If you want her back, you have to believe in yourself and know that you are more than worthy of her.
Don’t doubt it for a second.
Don’t waste time focusing on how badly you messed up in the relationship.
Focus on the fact that you are becoming a better man and are a better man now.
You’re literally so much of a better catch than you were before.
You have leveled up.
You are worthy of her now.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t realize that and end up focusing on their negative qualities and feeling unworthy of her.
For example: When a guy is sitting at home alone thinking about his ex and missing her, it’s easy for him to start imagining her as being a lot more perfect than she really was, while putting all the blame on himself for the mistakes he made in the relationship.
He might think to himself, “I was so lucky to have such an amazing woman like her…and then I ruined it all because I’m [all of things he hates about himself now]. It’s all my fault that we’re broken up. Will she ever be able to take me back? If I was in her position, I wouldn’t. She deserves so much better and I wasn’t giving her that. She probably knows it. Why would she even think of coming back to me?”
He then feels like his situation is hopeless and totally out of his control, because he doesn’t realize that he can actively re-attract her.
Instead, he focuses on how great she was, how lucky he was to have her and how unworthy of her he now is.
As a result, he then hesitates to take action and get her back.
He doesn’t feel like anything could work for him.
Yet, here’s the thing…
He can take control of the situation by interacting with her and actively re-attracting her.
He can create a spark of attraction inside of her and begin the rapid ex back process that so many other guys go through each day to get their ex woman back.