After a break up, your ex might put you through various tests to see how you react.
4 examples of these tests are…
1. Being Cold or Mean Towards You to See if You Get Angry
When a guy is trying to get his woman back, he will usually be on his best behavior every time he interacts with her, in the hopes that she will believe that he has learned his lesson and then take him back.
Yet, most women know that when a guy is trying to get her back, he will pretty much be willing say and do anything to try and convince her to give him another chance.
So, to test him, a woman act cold, mean or bitchy towards him to see how he will react.
If he becomes angry and starts saying things like, “What is going on? What is the matter with you? Why are you being such a bitch to me? Is this another one of your silly little games? Do you think that just because we’re broken up you can now treat me like crap? You’re intentionally trying to get to me aren’t you? You manipulative bitch! You’ll regret doing this to me,” she will have succeeded in getting him to reveal his true self to her.
So, rather than being convinced to try again, she will think, “Just as I thought. He was just putting on an act and pretending to be all sweet and nice, but he’s just the same asshole jerk that I broke up with. I knew he couldn’t change. Fortunately, I’ve now seen who he really is before I made the mistake of giving him another chance. Now, I need to get as far away from him as I can because this guy is crazy and who knows what he will do if he doesn’t get what he wants. Time to get a new boyfriend to help protect me.”
Here’s the thing…
A guy who gets angry at his woman usually fails to understand that a woman is not a man’s property.
He doesn’t own her, even though he wishes he did.
A woman doesn’t have to stay in a relationship if she doesn’t want to.
She also doesn’t have to text, talk to or even be nice to her ex after she breaks up with him.
Some guys might feel angry to read that, but it’s true.
A relationship only lasts if both people want it to last.
If it’s only one person who wants (or needs) it to last, it won’t.
It will fail.
So, if your ex tries to test you by being mean, cold or bitch and you get angry with her, rather than convince her to give you another chance, she will most likely just lose even more respect and attraction for you and never want to see you again.
However, that doesn’t mean you should sit back and let her treat you any way she wants.
If she is being a bitch towards you, the way to respond is to laugh at her (not with her) for being such a bitch towards you.
For example, you can say something like, “You look funny when you’re being mean and bitchy. It’s cute” and then laugh at her.
That puts her back in her place.
Most women will never admit that they respect a guy who can do that in a loving, but dominant way, but they do.
So, don’t be afraid to mess with her and put her back in her place in a dominant, but loving way.
When a guy has been dumped, he is often afraid to interact with her in that way because he fears saying or doing something that might piss her off.
Ironically, that is what pisses her off the most.
She sees him as being a desperate, wimpy guy with no backbone, who is essentially trying to suck up to her by being on his best behavior.
He thinks that he’s doing the right thing, but she is feeling turned off by how wimpy he is being now that they are broken up.
He might then think to himself, “I don’t understand why my ex is being so mean to me. She’s treating me like dirt. I have to do something about this. Maybe if I’m even nicer to her from now on, she’ll stop being so mean and she’ll see that I’m a good guy. What I’ll do is make sure that I’m always nice to her, even when she’s being a bitch towards me. I’ll spoil her with nice gifts and maybe even help out with errands or by paying off some of her bills. Then, when she sees that she’s being mean to me for no good reason, she’ll feel guilty. She will then realize that even though I stuffed up in the past, I’m actually a good guy and she should just give me another chance.”
It sounds like a great plan, but it rarely works.
Women can see right through it.
It’s so damn obvious what he’s up to, so she actually loses even more respect for him for being so devious and manipulative.
She may then decide to keep taking his gifts, letting him pay for her bills and run around for her, while she continues being mean to him.
The more he puts up with her bad behavior, the more respect she loses for him until she eventually looks at him like dirt or rubbish and wants nothing to do with him sexually or romantically.
So, if you want to change how your ex currently feels about you and change the way she is treating you, you have to re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction first.
…and you can’t do that by simply being really nice to her.
You have to actively make her feel some respect and attraction for you again, by showing her via the way you talk, think, behave and respond to her, that you are now a very different man from the one she remembers.
When she can see that no matter how mean she is being to you, you are calm, relaxed and in control of your emotions, she won’t be able to stop herself from wondering why you are not reacting the way she is expecting you to.
She then becomes curious to find out more and she drops her guard and opens herself up to the idea of getting back with you to see how it goes.
2. Acting Like She Has Zero Feelings For You to See if You Lose Confidence in Your Ability to Attract Her
Women often say very nasty, emotional things that they don’t even mean at all, just to test how a guy will react.
So, another one of the tests your ex might put you through after a break up is to act like she doesn’t have feelings for you when you interact with her.
For example: A guy might be talking to his ex on the phone and she says something like, “I feel absolutely nothing for you. Zip. Zero. Nada. If you were lying in the middle of the road bleeding, I would just walk right over you and keep going. You mean nothing to me now.”
If he then starts pleading with her and saying things like, “Please don’t say that. After everything we meant to each other, there must be something left that is worth saving. Your feelings can’t be dead. Even a small spark is enough for us to try start over again,” she will perceive him as being emotionally weak, lacking in self confidence and unable to cope with the challenges that life throws at him.
Women hate that about guys, which is one of the reasons why they test for it so often.
A woman wants a man who believes in himself no matter what she says or does to try to make him feel insecure.
Women don’t go around telling men that, but it’s what they want.
So, when her ex fails her confidence test, she will then say to herself, “What a wimp. He’s already crumbling at the first sign of resistance from me. If I had any doubts about breaking up with him, seeing him like this has convinced me that I’ve made the right decision. He’s not a man, he’s a boy in a man’s body. I need a man who is emotionally strong enough to handle me and the challenges of life. Doesn’t he realize that emotional weakness is not attractive to women? I need a me who believes in himself and in his value to me, not a guy who thinks that I’m too good for him and then expects me to do him a favor by giving him another chance. Gross…I’m so over it.”
As you may have noticed, women are very different to men!
The way that women think is a completely mystery to most men.
I’ve got them figured out.
Watch this for example…
So, if your ex acts like she doesn’t have feelings for you, don’t fail her confidence test by crumbling and feeling rejected, sad and confused.
Just laugh at her and crack a joke and she will automatically feel respect and attraction for you (i.e. have feelings for you).
For example: If she says, “I feel absolutely nothing for you. Zip. Zero. Nada. If you were lying in the middle of the road bleeding, I would just walk right over you and keep going. You mean nothing to me now” you can laugh and say, “Oh no, you’re breaking my heart. What am I going to do? My bitchy ex girlfriend doesn’t have feelings for me anymore” and then pretend to cry in a playful way.
Of course, you say that in a confident, but playful way, not in an angry, spiteful way.
She will then have to at least smile, but she may even laugh depending on her personality type and at that moment, you will have made her feel a spark of respect and attraction for you.
Believe me, making her feel that is better than making her feel turned off by asking her why she doesn’t have feelings for you, or begging and pleading for another chance.
In most ex back cases, all it usually takes is a spark of respect and attraction and the woman’s guard begins to come down.
She starts to open up to the idea of getting back together and then all you’ve got to do is guide her back into a relationship.
Watch this to understand how it works…
So, just remember that she wants you to maintain your confidence at all times, especially when she is trying to make you feel insecure.
When a guy is unable to maintain confidence in his ability to attract his ex, she just can’t look up to him and respect him anymore.
Instead, she feels turned off by what she perceives as his emotional weakness (i.e. his self doubt, insecurity).
Remember: Women are attracted to a man’s confidence, emotional strength and maturity and are turned off by a man’s emotional weaknesses.
Another test that your ex might put you through after a break up is…
3. Giving You Mixed Signals to See if You Become Insecure
If a woman breaks up with a guy because he was too insecure and needy in the relationship, one of the tests she will likely put him through after the break up, is to give him mixed signals about her feelings for him.
For example: She might say something like, “You know… I’m having second thoughts about us breaking up. What do you think? Do you believe it’s possible to make things work between us after all? I don’t know.”
The guy might then respond by saying something along the lines of, “Yes! I definitely think we can make it work. I still love you and if you still love me too, that’s all that really matters. We can work out all the problems between us as long as we love each other.”
To test him, she might then pull away and say something like, “Hmmm… no, I don’t actually think that I still love you. Don’t get me wrong. I’m probably just feeling sad because we broke up and I’m alone at the moment. Anyway, I think it’s probably over between us, so we should just let it go and move on.”
If he remains calm and relaxed and doesn’t let her get to him, she will feel respect and attraction for him and she will know that he’s changed.
On the other hand, if he starts thinking, “It’s over! There’s just no hope anymore. She’s doesn’t want me anymore. I don’t know what to do,” and then tries to change her mind by making her feel pity for him, she will likely lose even more respect and attraction for him as a man.
Why? A woman wants to be with a man because it feels right (i.e. she respects him, feels sexually attracted and loves him), not because she’s doing him a favor.
So, don’t let your ex mess with your head by giving you mixed signals.
Instead, just focus on remaining confident and actively sparking her feelings of respect and attraction, by showing her the new and improved version of you when you interact with her (e.g. via text, on the phone, or in person).
When she realizes that her tests are not making you respond like she is expecting you to (i.e. she thinks you will be insecure and self-doubting, but instead you are confident and emotionally strong), she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.
You can then build on that spark of attraction by showing her that you really are a different man now.
The final test that your ex might put you through is…
4. Blaming You For How Emotionally Messed Up She Feels
So many women do this.
They lay it on real thick and act like the guy has broken them emotionally and caused them severe mental and emotional pain.
In reality, she’s fine and will laugh with her friends, work or study as usual and generally get on with her life.
Yet, when talking to her ex, she starts to sound really sad, worn out and somber and may breath heavily, sigh a lot and talk in a low, depressed voice.
In most cases, it’s all an act to make the guy feel guilty, to turn him off or to make his life a misery for being yet another guy she has had to break up with.
Here’s the thing…
It’s perfectly normal for a woman to feel some pain and anger after a break up and she will likely bring it up when you interact with her.
However, sometimes a woman might get to a point where she is unfairly blaming her ex for how messed up she feels.
For example: She might say to him, “I can’t believe that I’m even talking to you after what you put me through. You should feel embarrassed to face me after everything that’s happened between us you know. You were a terrible boyfriend (fiancé or husband) and I must have been crazy to stick around with you for as long as I did. You took my love and wiped your feet all over it. You are such a selfish jerk you know. All you ever think about is what you want and you don’t even bother to notice the people you destroy along the way. I don’t deserve to be feeling this way.”
However, even if everything she’s saying about him is true, if he lets her talk to him like that and treat him like a naughty little boy who needs to be reprimanded for his bad behavior, it will only make her lose even more respect for him.
Why? Mainly because he’s allowing her to dominate him emotionally.
If you let your ex dominate you by completely blaming you for how she feels, she won’t be able to look up to you and respect you.
If she can’t respect you, then she won’t be able to feel sexually attracted to you and getting her back will then become 10x more difficult.
So, if your ex is blaming you for how messed up she feels, you can apologize once or twice, but not any more than that.
If she keeps going on about it, you need laugh and say, “Okay, enough. You keep repeating the same things over and over. I’ve apologized, so there’s no need to keep bringing it up.”
She will most likely disagree and say that it’s important to talk about.
Don’t worry about that.
Just change the subject when she brings it up, or say something funny like, “Oh, again? Wow, I haven’t heard you talk about this before. Tell me all about it” and then laugh with her about that.
You’ve got to be confident enough to put her back in her place and let her know who’s boss, rather than trying to be on your best behavior (women hate that!) to get another chance.
For example: A guy might sit and listen to his ex rant and complain over and over again and just let her go on and on about it.
Secretly, he might want to say something like, “Yes, I get it. I stuffed up. However, nobody’s perfect. You made mistakes too of course. Personally, I’m willing to accept responsibility for my actions, but maybe you need to do that too, rather than blaming me for everything that happened. If you can face up to your mistakes and admit them to me, you will be continue on feeling confused about yourself and how you acted in our relationship. Yet, if you admit your mistakes and have the maturity to forgive me for mine, you will be clear about who you are and where you stand” but he doesn’t because he wants to be on his best behavior around her to avoid pissing her off.
What he doesn’t realize is that if he did say something like that to her, she would actually feel respect for him for being man enough to stand up to her and put her back in her place (i.e. in a less dominant position than him).
She might act like she is pissed off at him for saying it, but that would just be an act.
Deep down, she would feel a spark of respect and attraction for him and begin to feel as though she wants him back.
So, always remember: If you want to get your ex back for real, don’t take her tantrums and rants so seriously.
Instead, be emotionally strong enough to guide her to laughter, smiling and feel good emotions and all of sudden, she will forget what she was so angry about and will start feeling attracted to you.
For example: Imagine that you’re talking to your ex on the phone and she’s throwing a tantrum and blaming you for how she feels.
You can respond by saying something like, “Wow! I was really that bad? I guess I can add, “Worst Ex Boyfriend in the World” to my list of accomplishments then. I’m a winner,” which will make her laugh, or at least smile a little bit.
When you make her smile and laugh while interacting with you, it takes the edge off the seriousness of the situation and allows her to calm down.
When that happens, she can’t stop herself from feeling attracted to the new, emotionally stronger version of you who has the balls to stand up to her when she’s testing you.
She then starts to look you and think about you differently.
You seem even more attractive and interesting now, so she just can’t stop herself from wanting to experience the new you again and again and again.
Before she knows it, she’s back in your arms and is kissing you and loving it.