Getting your ex girlfriend a gift can sometimes be a way to reopen communication between you and her.

Yet, in most cases, regardless of how amazing your gift is, she just won’t open back up to you.

So, here are 5 mistakes to avoid when trying to come up with the best gift idea to hopefully win your ex back:

1. Assuming that buying her something will make her want you back

When no longer feels attracted or in love with an ex boyfriend, she will rarely be won over and want him back because he paid for some object or thing and gave it to her.

She might appreciate his gesture and even say something like, “Oh, that’s nice of you, thanks” if he gives it to her in person, but she might also react badly and say, “Why are you giving me this? We’re broken up. I don’t want anything from you.”

Alternatively, if he sends it to her, she might suspect that he’s trying to make her feel guilty for leaving him, so she then contacts him and is nice to him.

That way (he hopes), he can then get another chance with her.

Yet, if she suspects that he’s trying to make her feel guilty or selfish, so she contacts him, a woman will usually just feel resentful towards him and want to avoid him even more.

So, what should a guy do instead?

Interact with her in person, or at the very least on a phone call, video call or series of voice texts, so she can get a sense of the new and improved him (i.e. more confident, more able to flirt with her and create a spark).

It is him who she will be getting back into a relationship with, not a gift, which is why it’s so important that he interacts with her and makes her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.

When your ex feels attracted and drawn to who you are now, then she knows she’ll miss out on experiencing those feelings if she doesn’t give you another chance.

That is what makes a woman want to get back with a guy; not a gift that he buys for her when she’s not even attracted to him.

So, if a guy just gives his ex girlfriend a gift, or sends her one and hopes that she will open back up to being with him, he will almost always end up feeling disappointed when she rejects him (e.g. “Why are you giving me a gift? I don’t want anything from you. It’s over, okay? Just leave me alone”), or says something like, “Thanks for the present. I hope you’re well. Take care” to push him away.

You don’t need to spend money on buying something for her.

What you need to do is improve your ability to attract her as you interact with her.

Without that, she’s just not going to feel much or anything for you and therefore, won’t be interested in a relationship with you, regardless of what you’ve bought for her.

The next mistake to avoid is…

2. Buying something romantic when she doesn’t have romantic feelings

Buying something romantic when she doesn’t have romantic feelings

Sometimes, a guy assumes that buying a romantic gift (e.g. a teddy bear with a red heart on it saying “I miss you,” a heart shaped pendant or bracelet, a personalized box of chocolates, her favorite perfume or body lotion) will make his ex think, “Wow! He loves me so much. He is the one! I’ve got to give him another chance!”

Yet, it just doesn’t work that way.


When a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s normally because she has disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for him.

So, when a guy is being charming and buying her romantic gifts, although she might appreciate the attention, she’s still not going to want to be in a relationship because she doesn’t have feelings for him anymore.

For a woman to want to get back into a relationship with an ex, the feelings have to be mutual, or at least close to mutual again.

It can’t just be about him loving her and wanting her back for his own reasons and then trying to buy her feelings for him with romantic gifts.


Romance is only enjoyable to a woman if she has feelings for a man (i.e. she respects him, feels attracted to him and is either falling in love with him or is in love with him).

If a guy offers romantic gestures to a woman when she isn’t attracted, she will feel uncomfortable, annoyed, pressured and will reject him or close up and make it difficult for him to interact with her.

Essentially, she is reacting to her lack of attraction for him and trying to let him know that.

A woman will rarely say that to a man directly though (e.g. “I don’t appreciate or want your romantic gestures because I’m not attracted to you”) because she doesn’t want to make the guy angry, or teach him what he needs to do to make her want him.

She wants a man who understands how to attract a woman and then lets her experience that, rather than a hopeless romantic type of guy who is essentially throwing darts in the dark (or blindly trying anything he can think of) and hoping that he hits the mark.

Women know what hits the mark and it’s the unmistakeable feeling of sexual attraction.

If you don’t know how to make her feel that for you anymore, then she’s simply not going to be interested, regardless of what gift you buy for her.

The next mistake to avoid is…

3. Assuming that women are easily tricked by romantic gestures

Assuming that women are easily tricked by romantic gestures

Women aren’t stupid.

Well, almost all women, but you know what I mean.

Most women have a brain and instantly know when a man is trying to buy their affection with gifts, or win them over with promises to do whatever she wants, if she’ll just give him a chance.

Unfortunately, some guys forget that and assume that women are blind to the obvious tricks that men try to use.

As a result, a guy will assumes that if he buys a special gift for his ex girlfriend (e.g. a ring, a puppy, a car, a new computer, a phone, etc), she will stop caring about the fact that she doesn’t feel attracted to him, or isn’t in love with him and will want to be with him anyway.

Of course, some selfish women will initially show some interest if the gift is significant enough, so they can secure the gift and then dump the guy.

Yet, in most cases, a woman will simply reject her ex’s attempts at buying her.

In some cases, a woman will even become annoyed and lose more respect for her ex for trying to buy her back.

For example: She may think something like, “I can’t believe he’s trying to buy back my love with gifts. After all the crap he put me through, he thinks he can just buy me a gift and shut me up. How dumb does he think I am? I know why I broke up with him and unless he can fix those things and show me that he’s changed what really matters to me (i.e. his thinking, attitude and behavior), I’m not going to fall for his cheap trick.”

She then closes herself off from him, which makes it more difficult for him to get her back.

Another mistake to avoid making is…

4. Buying an expensive gift to hopefully show her how much you care

When a guy doesn’t know how to get his ex girlfriend back, he will often assume that the solution must be to show her how much he cares.

He thinks something like, “If I show her how much I care, she will see that I’m serious about fixing things. She will see that I am willing to do whatever it takes. Then, she will give me another chance.”

So he begins to shower her with expensive gifts, or gives her one, very special, amazing gift and hopes with all of his heart that it works.

He hopes she will think something like, “Wow, I’m impressed! What an amazing gift. It must mean that he really loves me if he’s willing to spend so much money on me. I’d be a fool to let him get away. After all, what if I never find another man who will show me as much love me as he does? He’s so generous now as well. So, maybe I would regret letting him go. I think I should just get back with him again.”

Yet, he doesn’t realize is that almost all women (apart from gold diggers, or manipulative, selfish women who intend on using a guy and then breaking up with him when they are ready) don’t choose to be with a guy based on what he can buy for her.

Instead, a woman chooses to be with a man based on how he makes her feel when she’s with him (e.g. attracted, in love, wanting to impress him and maintain his interest, excited about their future as a couple, happy when around him, feminine in comparison to his masculine approach to her and to life, desirable in his eyes).

So, rather than getting an expensive gift for your ex and potentially wasting your time and your money, just focus on reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for you during an interaction (i.e. in person, on a phone or video call, or via a series of voice texts).

Don’t try to hide behind typed texts because you’re afraid to step up to a phone call, video call or voice texts.

She has to be able to hear your tonality to get a sense of your confidence.

If you just text her, she will assume your level of confidence and if she currently has a negative perception of you (e.g. sees you as being desperate for her, needy, insecure), she will read your texts in a negative way.

So, if you begin texting her, make sure that you quickly transition to voice texts or a phone or video call as soon as you feel the courage to do so.

If you wait too long to transition away from just typed texts, she will almost certainly lose interest, play hard to get or reject you.

I know this because I’ve successfully helped countless men from all over the world to get an ex woman back fast.

Don’t make the classic mistakes that so many other guys make.

On that note, here’s another mistake to avoid when it comes to getting an ex girlfriend a gift…

5. Acting like you don’t expect anything (i.e. a relationship, her feeling guilty) in return for the gift and are just doing it because you’re such a nice guy

As I mentioned earlier, women aren’t stupid.

They know what guys do to try to get a chance with them.

So, if a guy gives his ex girlfriend a gift and says something like, “I just wanted to give you something nice to say thank you for being a great girlfriend and to wish you the best for your future without me,” she’s going to be suspicious.

What should he do instead?

Simple: Don’t try to use a gift to get her back.

Just contact her and re-attract her, so she naturally wants to get back with him.

Always remember: For her to want to get back with you, she needs to have feelings for you.

If it’s only you who has feelings and you’re trying to get her back by buying her a gift, then she might appreciate the attempt, but it’s not going to change her feelings.

You can change her feelings today or tomorrow if you are willing to focus on natural attraction.

In other words, interact with her and display the traits and behaviors that naturally cause a woman to feel attracted and interested in her ex again.

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