Have you ever noticed how some guys can pick up women very easily, whereas other guys can’t even get past 30 seconds to a minute of conversation with women?
Some guys find it very easy to get laid and get a girlfriend, and when they start talking to a woman, sparks begin to fly immediately.
Whereas, other guys try to talk to women and they’re trying to show the woman that they’re a good guy, they’ve got good intentions and they’re just trying to have a friendly chat with her, but she’s just not interested.
She’s not feeling the spark.
The thing is picking up women is actually a very easy thing to do. However, when a guy makes some or all of the following mistakes while talking to a woman, she’ll often reject him.
1. Trying to win her over with traits that don’t make her feel sexually attracted and turned on.
This is one of the most common reasons why guys get rejected by women.
A guy will start talking to a woman and try to win her over by being really nice, friendly, polite.
He’ll ask her questions like, “Hey, so what you do for a living? Where are from? How old are you? Where did you get that dress?” and he’ll ask a girl all these sorts of questions because he’s trying to show her that he’s a good guy and he’s got good intentions.
He just wants to get to know her in a friendly and see where things go.
Yet, the problem with that approach is that it doesn’t make the woman feel sexually attracted. He feels attracted to her because of her appearance, but he’s not actively doing anything to create a spark of attraction inside of her.
For us men, we can instantly feel sexually attracted to a woman simply based on her appearance and be motivated enough to want to talk to her, kiss her, have sex with her and even start a relationship with her because of it.
A guy can be at a bar or at an event, a party or out in a public place, and can look around at women and say, “Yep, I’d bang that. I’d tap that. No. Yes. No. Yes.”
Most guys can look at a woman and pretty much instantly decide “Yes” or “No” about whether they’d be interested in having sex with her.
However, for women, it does work differently.
If it didn’t work differently, guys wouldn’t have to worry about trying to learn how to attract women.
It would be very simple. You’d walk up to a woman, she’d feel attracted to you physically (just like you feel attracted to her physically) and you would then just hook up based on that.
Yet, that’s not the way that women work.
It’s true that women can feel attracted to a man’s physical appearance and refer to him as being handsome or sexy.
However, the majority of women don’t make their final decision on whether they want to have sex with a guy simply based on his appearance.
Some women do place a lot of importance on a man’s looks, but the majority of women in this world place more importance on who he is as a guy.
When a woman is interacting with a guy she will be assessing who is as a person.
Is he confident or nervous? Is he able to get along with her and others, or is he a bit socially awkward? Is he a masculine guy in the way that he talks and thinks and behaves, or is he a bit neutral, or worse, is he a bit feminine?
Does she feel like he’s an emotionally strong guy that she can feel safe with in this world, or does she feel like she’d probably need to protect and take care of him?
Even though most women won’t necessarily think about those things consciously, her instincts of attraction are based on the analysis of that while she’s interacting with a guy.
The way that he’s talking and the way that he’s behaving is either going to trigger feelings of sexual attraction inside of her or it’s not.
When it comes to pick up, the majority of guys try to win women over with traits that don’t even make women feel sexually attracted and turned on (e.g. niceness, politeness).
Women do appreciate it if a guy is a nice guy, has good intentions, is academically intelligent and has a good job. That’s all great stuff, but it doesn’t matter to a woman unless she feels sexually attracted to the guy.
For women, making men feel attracted is as easy as looking good, and for men, making women feel attracted is as easy as displaying attractive personality traits during an interaction.
For example: Some of the personality traits that women find sexually attractive in a man are confidence, masculinity, charisma, charm, humor, unpredictability and social intelligence.
Yet, what most guys do when they meet a woman and are trying to pick her up is display traits like kindness, politeness, niceness, and academic intelligence.
A guy wants to show that he’s a good guy, he’s trustworthy, he’s reliable.
He’s essentially trying to communicate things like: You can count on me. I’m a good guy. I’ve got good intentions. I don’t just want to have sex with you, I want to be your boyfriend. I’ll take care of you. I’ll treat you nicely.
He’s trying to win her over with traits that don’t even make a woman feel sexually attracted and turned on.
The thing is, women do appreciate those other nice traits after they feel attracted to a guy. If you want pick-up to be very easy for you, you’ve got to start out by making women feel sexually attracted to you.
2. Concentrating too much on her reactions rather than on what he needs to do.
Another common pick-up mistake that guys make which leads to rejection is where the guy concentrates too much on what the woman is saying and doing, and how she’s reacting.
He’ll be talking to a woman and she might make a bit of a face to show her disapproval, or she might not contribute much to the conversation or she might play hard to get.
The guy is focusing on that and thinking about it too much. He’s thinking, “Why did she do that? Why did she say that? Why has her body language changed all of a sudden? Am I losing her? Have I stuffed this up? Look how she’s turning away from me now. She’s drinking her drink, what does that mean?”
He’s thinking way too much about what the woman is doing and it’s making him appearance nervous, unsure of himself and not fully present in the moment, which is unattractive to women.
What he needs to do to be successful is focus on what he needs to do.
What does he need to do?
He needs to actively make her feel sexually attracted to him.
Unless a guy is actively making a woman feel sexually attracted during a pick-up, most of the women that he tries to pick up aren’t going to be interested.
If he tries to make a move, most of the women that he tries to make a move on are going to reject him.
What guys need to understand is that it’s very easy for us to feel attracted to women.
I call it Insta-attraction.
You can just see a woman and say yes or no, whether you’d bang her, whether you’d have sex with her, but it’s not the same for women.
It’s true that some women can look at a guy and say, “Yes, I want to have sex with him. He’s sexy, he’s handsome.” However, the majority of women need to interact with you and see if there’s a spark there.
The best thing of all for us guys is that we can create the spark.
For example: We can display traits that naturally attract women, such as confidence, emotional masculinity, charisma and charm.
We actually have it a lot easier than women because we don’t have to focus so much on how we look.
We can walk over and talk to a woman and make her feel attracted and turned on during the interaction.
This is why you’ll see guys who you might think average or below average looking with a beautiful woman.
You might wonder how these other guys are able to get a girlfriend when you’re not.
You might look at a guy walking along with his girlfriend and think, “What’s she doing with him?” You might go to a party and see a guy with a hot girl and think, “What is she doing with him? Why can’t I get a girl like that?”
You might see another guy with a funny-looking nose with a hot girlfriend and think, “Why isn’t she turned off by his nose? How did he get her? I think I’m better looking than him. What’s going on here?”
What’s going on is the fact that guys can make women feel sexually attracted to them while they interact with them.
Guys can actively create a spark with a woman, and the woman will then start to look at the guy’s physical appearance in a more positive light.
She might not like how he looks initially, but once she starts interacting with him and feeling a spark for him, she might think, “I like the fact that he’s bald. He’s kind of cute like that. Look at his belly. I want to rub it. Oh, look at his hairy chest. I want to run my fingers through it. This guy doesn’t work out, doesn’t seem like he has big muscles, but I’m attracted to him. I’m turned on. I want this guy.”
That’s how a woman’s attraction works, and it’s the reason why so many guys all over the world are confused when they see a guy walking along the street or at a party or at a bar, and he is not as good looking as the woman.
He doesn’t seem like he deserves her, but what’s going on is that that guy created a spark with her, and he was able to pick her up.
3. Making her feel like she’s too good for him.
A woman may actually have fairly low standards and be willing to hook up with most type of guys, but if a guy walks up to her and starts talking to her and makes her feel like she’s way more valuable than him, she will often get the feeling that she might be trading down if she hooked up with him.
It might feel like an unfair value exchange to her where she’s bringing more attractive value to the table than he is.
That’s a problem that a lot of guys create for themselves when they’re trying to pick up women.
A guy will walk up to a woman and give her the impression that he would be lucky to get a chance with her.
It will come through in his body language and how he’s talking and responding to her. She’ll be able to pick up the fact that he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for her, and as a result, she will start to question whether or not he is good enough for her.
4. Showing romantic interest before making her feel sexually attracted and turned on.
A classic pick-up mistake that leads to rejection is where a guy gets overwhelmed by his feelings of attraction for a woman while he’s talking to her.
A guy will start talking to a woman and be feeling a lot of attraction for her appearance, and if she’s being friendly to him, he’ll start to feel like he’s got a chance with her and that she might be the one for him.
He will begin to feel excited that she might be his new girlfriend, they’re going to fall in love and are going to have sex.
However, she’s only being friendly with him and he’s feeling attracted to her.
From her perspective, he’s just yet another friendly guy who’d like to bang her, but she doesn’t feel a spark with him.
Feeling excited about the fact that an attractive woman is being nice to him and confusing it to mean that she is attracted, he starts asking her questions like, “So do you have a boyfriend? Can I take you out sometime? Are you seeing anyone at the moment? Can I get your phone number?”
She then rejects him because she doesn’t even feel attracted to him.
Here’s the thing though…
That guy and that woman might have been an ideal couple. They may have been a great match, and if he approached her properly, they may have kissed, had sex, started a relationship, and eventually even gotten married and stayed together for life.
Yet, the problem is that he’s attracted to her and she’s not attracted to him. He’s not doing anything to actively make her feel sexually attracted and turned on.
If a guy is just a normal everyday guy, then he needs to actively make women feel sexually attracted to him during an interaction rather than expecting something magical to happen on it’s own.
Many guys waste most of their life hoping for a spark to magically happen between themselves and a beautiful woman, because they don’t even know that it’s possible to CREATE a spark.
Normal, average, everyday kind of guys (like me) need to CREATE a spark with women, rather than hoping for something to happen on its own.
A guy who is a celebrity, very rich and powerful in society, a male model or a sports star doesn’t really need to do a lot to make women feel initially attracted to him because there’s already something attractive about him.
However, the majority of guys in this world just need to understand and accept that to get laid and get a girlfriend very easily, they need to actively make a woman feel sexually attracted and turned on during an interaction.
They can’t expect a woman to be excited about wanting to get to know them, and have sex with them, and get into a relationship with them simply based on being friendly towards her, and getting along in nice and polite way.
So, the mistake that a lot of guys make is they get overwhelmed by their feelings of attraction for a woman, and if she’s being nice and friendly towards them, the guy then thinks, “Okay, this girl is for me. There’s something between us. I’m feeling it. She’s being nice to me. I’ve got to try to close the deal here!!”
He then asks her, “Do you have a boyfriend? Can I take you out? What’s your number?” and she’s thinking, “Woah, you’ve jumped the gun there. I don’t even feel anything for you yet.”
She doesn’t explain what’s going on. She just says something like, “No, I’ve already got a boyfriend” or “No, sorry…I’m not interested” or “No, I don’t give out my phone number at bars.”
The final mistake is…
5. Not being prepared.
The majority of guys who want to get laid and get a girlfriend make this classic mistake when trying to pick up women.
A guy will have nothing to talk about beyond asking her name, occupation and age. He’ll have no idea how to make her feel sexually attracted and turned on.
He will have no idea how to pass her confidence tests so she will then drop her guard, and show him the friendly, easygoing side of herself that she doesn’t show to other guys.
Here’s the thing…
Pick-up is very easy if you know what you’re doing. However, when a guy makes classic pick-up mistakes, it doesn’t matter that he’s a good guy, or that he has a good job, or that he’s dressed well; women are still going to reject him.
The reason why is that the way that women feel attracted to men, and the way that men feel attracted to women is different.
Men can instantly decide, “Yes, I want to have sex with her. No, I don’t want to have sex with her” simply based on a woman’s appearance.
If a man starts talking to a woman that he wants to have sex with because he finds her attractive, he doesn’t care what she does for a living. He doesn’t care what brand of shoes she’s wearing or what dress she’s got on.
He wants to have sex with her regardless of the extra details about her. He might feel turned off if he talks to her and she’s a bitch towards him, but if she suddenly started being nice and open, he would go back to wanting to have sex with her again.
A man’s initial attraction to a woman to a woman is very simple. If she is physically attractive, has a fully developed body of breeding age and is healthy, a man’s attraction will automatically switch on.
Yet, it doesn’t work that way with women because women are looking for something else from a man other than just looks.
Women want to be able to interact with you and feel sexually attracted and turned on while they talk to you. They want to be able to experience who you are and feel sexually attracted and turned on by that.
No More Rejection
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You’ll know what to say to start a conversation, how to get her attracted immediately, how to keep the conversation going and keep it interesting, how to connect with her in an attractive way, how to get her to touch you and hug you, how to kiss her, how to get her to go home and have sex with you, or if you want to have sex on the first date, how to get her to go on a first date with you and have sex with you on the first date.
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The Flow is the easiest way to get laid or get a girlfriend, so if you’ve been struggling to get laid or get a girlfriend and have been getting rejected when you’ve been trying to pick up women, I recommend that you read my eBook, The Flow, or listen to The Flow on Audio.