Here are 4 tips for contacting an ex after meeting up with her:
1. Keep your text messages brief and use humor
No matter how comfortable it feels to interact with your ex via text again after meeting up with her, don’t get sucked into having long conversations with her via text.
If you do, she can get bored, lose interest or become turned off by how available you seem and how much effort you’re putting into writing lots of text back and forth with her.
So, if you’re going to contact her after meeting up with her, just make sure that your texts are brief, to the point and include some humor.
For example: You might text her something along the lines of, “Hey, it was great catching up with you the other day. Let’s do it again some time…I have something important I want to tell you if we do catch up.”
Texting something like will put all sorts of ideas in her head and she may start wondering, “What does that mean? Will he ask me to get back together again if we catch up again? Does he want to tell me that he’s seeing another woman?”
She’ll then most likely text back with something like, “Tell me now.”
You can then tease her a little bit more by responding with, “I’m not sure if I can tell you over the phone.”
At this point, her curiosity will probably be driving her crazy and she will likely text something like, “Come on! Don’t do this to me. Just tell me.”
You can then text, “Well, I wasn’t going to tell you over the phone, but…” and then send the text like that.
Then, a few moments later, text, “You looked cute with that cappuccino moustache you had today at the café…haha.”
She will then laugh and mostly send you an, “Lol” or a, “Haha.”
She will also feel relieved that wasn’t anything serious (e.g. you putting pressure on her to get back together again, you moving on with another woman).
Add all that up and what do you get?
Her having feelings for you.
That is what really counts.
When you actively make your ex have feelings for you, she naturally feels drawn to you and wants to see you again.
Another thing to remember when contacting an ex after meeting up with her is…
2. Don’t try to discuss the relationship with her via text
After a meet up with an ex, a guy will sometimes make the mistake of trying to discuss the relationship with her or attempt to convince her to give him another chance.
For example: He might text something like, “Hey, thanks for the catch up today. It was so great to see you again. I just want to say again that I’m really sorry for everything that happened between us in the past. I promise you that if you give me another chance, things really will be different this time around. I just want you to know that I’m serious about us getting back together again and I’m willing to do whatever it takes for that to happen. Of course, I don’t expect you to want me back right now, but please think about it.”
Essentially, he’s hoping that she will be impressed by his commitment to her and give him another chance.
Yet, here’s the thing…
When a guy tries to discuss the relationship with his ex via text, it usually only makes her pull away from him.
Unless the feelings are mutual (i.e. she felt very attracted to him at the meet up and is now missing him), she’s not going to feel motivated to try and fix the relationship and give him another chance.
Additionally, if he’s texting her way too much text and asking way too many questions, it becomes stressful and time-consuming for her to type up her replies to him.
In many cases, she types and deletes and then types and deletes her reply multiple times, before eventually deciding on what to write.
He then send her another big text with more questions or more open conversation topics regarding the relationship.
Eventually, she loses interest or just gets annoyed at how much of her time he is taking up and how little benefit she is going to get in return (i.e. because the feelings aren’t mutual yet, so she’s not even sure if she wants to give him another chance).
So, if you want to ensure that you and her get back together, avoid discussing the relationship via text in the hopes that it will lead to her saying something, “Okay, I’ve heard enough. Let’s get back together!”
It just doesn’t work that way.
If you want her back, your primary purpose needs to be reawakening her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction (e.g. by being very confident, using humor, being emotionally masculine, flirting), rather than trying to discuss your way back into a relationship.
Another thing to remember when contacting an ex after meeting up with her is to…
3. Call her to say hi and have a laugh together
Texting is fine, but try to get to a phone call so you and her can have a fun chat and then agree to meet up again.
It’s much quicker and easier to do that on a call than via text, in most cases.
When should you call her?
Depending on your situation (e.g. you or her work odd hours, one of you is away on business), the call can happen the next day, a few days later or at the latest a week later.
Don’t wait any longer than that because she may get the impression that you’re not interested and are moving on.
She might then agree to go out with her single girlfriends to meet guys, hook up with a guy who has a crush on her or begin using online dating.
So, get back to her within a week by calling her.
For example: Call her and after the initial “Hello, how are you?” you can then ask her, “So, ex girlfriend…what have you been up to since I saw you?”
She will most likely laugh at the fact that you’re referring to her as ex girlfriend and then say, “Nothing much, how about you?”
If your meet up was a few days, or even a week before she might say something like, “Just the usual stuff like studies/work. What about you? What have you been doing?”
You can then say (in a joking way, of course), “Nothing much…I’ve been sitting for the last 20 minutes trying to count the freckles on your nose in my mind. I think you have about 3,487. What do you think? Did I get it right or am I way off? Maybe 4000?”
If she doesn’t have freckles she might say something like, “I don’t have freckles!” and you can laugh and say, “Oh yeah…that’s right…you have perfectly clear skin. I forgot” and have a laugh.
On the other hand, if she does have freckles, she might pretend to be shocked by saying, “I don’t have that many! How can you say that?”
You can then reply with something like, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe you. There’s only one way for you to prove it to me… I will need to count them in person!” and have a laugh.
By that point, she will probably be laughing, giggling and feeling attracted to you for having the confidence to joke around with her like that.
By the way…
If you don’t think that a joke like that will go well with her, try this one instead:
Call her and say, “Hey ex girlfriend…what’s going on?” in a playful voice.
Let her respond and then say something like, “Anyway, so I paid for the coffees the other day. Now it’s your turn. Take me out for an expensive dinner. Wine and dine me, girl” and have a laugh.
She will most likely laugh and you can then tell her that you were only kidding.
Alternatively, if your girl is the sort of girl who will go along with that, you can get her to pay for dinner when you and her meet up.
4. Get another meet up
Whatever you do, make sure that you get her to want another meet up.
Don’t beg for it or make it feel like she’d be doing you a favor by meeting up with you.
Make her want it, so she is either suggesting it or will happily agree when you suggest it.
The way to do that is to ensure that you are only focusing on making her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you as you interact with her.
In other words, you’re being very confident, funny, charismatic, charming and masculine in the way that you approach interactions.
If you do that, she will feel attracted and naturally want to see you again as soon as possible.
Then, when you see her again, be sure to get to a kiss and then sex to get the relationship back on track.
3 Mistakes to Avoid Making After Meeting Up With Your Ex
For your ex to have met up with you the first time, it means that she’s at least a little bit open to the idea of getting back together.
Whatever you say and do from now on will either make her want you back, or convince her that she should keep moving on without you.
So, here’s what you should avoid if you don’t want to turn her off and push her away…
1. Thinking that not contacting her will make her chase you like crazy
After meeting up with his ex girl, a guy might say to himself, “If I contact her, she’ll think I’m desperate. If I play it cool and ignore her, it will make her want me even more. After all, don’t all women want men who play hard to get? I need to be like that now.”
He then ignores her and it backfires (i.e. she goes out with her single girlfriends to flirt with guys to make herself feel better because her ex isn’t contacting her).
Sometimes not contacting an ex after a meet up can work, but only if she felt very attracted and the meet up and can’t deal with the idea of potentially losing him now.
However, if she isn’t feel very attracted, she will usually seek to make herself feel better by hooking up with a new guy, or will seek revenge on her ex by ignoring him if he tries to contact her again.
So, if you don’t hear from your ex within 2-3 after meeting up with her, you should make the first move and contact her.
Don’t try to play too many mind games with her because it can backfire.
Instead, just be the man in the situation and get her back.
The next mistake is…
2. Acting neutral via text
Rather than risking saying that might scare her off, a guy might decide to play it safe by being neutral with her via text (e.g. acting like just a friend, being very nice, not flirting with her).
He hopes that it makes her feel like he isn’t pressuring her into a relationship, so she will then give him another chance.
It sounds like it would work, but it doesn’t because a neutral approach feels boring to a woman and doesn’t create a spark.
Rather than making a woman think, “Wow, my ex is being so sweet and considerate of my feelings. He’s not even pushing me to get back together again. That just makes me want him more!” she starts wondering things like, “Why is he being like this now? Is he interested in getting back together or not? If he’s not interested, what does he want? Why is he wasting my time? Why is he just texting me like a friend?”
Then, all of a sudden, she stops responding and he’s left thinking, “What happened?! Was it something I said? Why isn’t she replying anymore?!!”
Don’t let that happen to you.
If you want to get your ex back after an initial meet up, make sure that you keep the momentum going by building on her feelings of respect, attraction and love.
The next mistake is…
3. Trying too hard to impress her via text with jokes or confident statements
You need to use some humor and be confident via text, but don’t go overboard with it.
If you’re trying too hard to come up with clever lines and acting way too confident, it can turn her off.
So, add in some confident and humor to make her feel attracted, while also getting to the point.
Don’t try to hide behind the safety of texting back and forth with her because it feels easier for you.
Text back and forth a little bit, but get to a phone call or another meet up.
When you meet up with her again, make sure that you get to a kiss and hook up with her sexually.
If she is playing a little bit hard to get, don’t worry.
Just keep building on her feelings and she will naturally want you in a sexual way.
Best of all, she will want it just as much as you do and it will feel amazing for the both of you.