4 common reasons why a woman will say that:
1. She wants to move on before you do
She’s just saying that she doesn’t want anyone else to have you, so you hang around hoping for another chance.
Meanwhile, she will be secretly flirting with new guys and finding herself a replacement guy, so she can move on before you.
A woman does this to prevent her ex from moving on before she does, so she doesn’t feel like she is being left behind or rejected.
Here’s what you need to understand…
Even if your ex seems very confident about herself and her attractiveness to you, deep down she might be feeling insecure about her ability to attract a new guy and move on without you.
So, even though she dumped you, it’s possible that she’s been thinking things like, “What if my ex finds a new woman before I move on? How will I feel then? I can’t let him be the one who moves on easily. I don’t want to feel like I’m being left behind. I’ve got to keep him interested for now and make him feel like he has a chance.”
To prevent you moving on and hooking up with other women before she finds herself a new guy, she might say something like, “I know that I was the one who broke up with you, but I still care about you. I don’t want anyone else to have you.”
Naturally, that just makes you feel confused about where you stand.
Many guys in your situation begin to wonder, “Why is she saying that? Does she still have feelings for me? Is it a sign that she wants us to get back together again? Do I just need to be a bit more patient and give her more time?”
The answer really depends on the woman, the reason for the break up and whether or not she can quickly find a replacement guy.
In some cases, a woman won’t be able to find a new guy and will temporarily get back with her ex to keep him around.
She will then break up with him again when she’s ready (i.e. when she has a new guy lined up).
Another reason why your ex might have said that she doesn’t want you to have anyone else is…
2. She still loves you, but currently doesn’t feel enough attraction for you to justify being in a relationship
Sometimes, a woman will continue to experience lingering feelings for her ex (i.e. still kind of feels attracted to him and loves him), even though she dumped him and thought that it was the right thing to do for her.
This often happens when the relationship started out well (e.g. they had great sex, had an amazing connection), but ended up feeling more like a friendship than a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, romantic, sexual relationship.
Some women will put up with that kind of relationship for years, before eventually getting bored of it and believing that another guy could make her feel more attracted and in love.
So, she will go ahead with the break up.
However, just because she breaks up with her guy, it doesn’t mean that all of her feelings for him are completely gone.
In many cases like this, the woman still cares for her ex and thinks of him as a great guy.
It’s just that she doesn’t feel enough of a spark with him to justify getting back into a sexual relationship.
She loves him, but not completely in ‘that’ kind of way.
So, when she’s talking to him on the phone or in person and is enjoying his company, she might say, “I’m sad about us breaking up. It’s for the best, but it’s not easy for me you know? It’s kind of selfish of me to say this, but I don’t want anyone else to have you.”
Secretly, she may even be thinking, “If only he could make me feel more attracted in the ways I really want, I would be his girl again without a second thought.”
What are the ways she really wants?
Well, it depends on the woman.
Some women lose attraction because the guy has lost confidence in himself over the months or years that they’ve been together.
Other women lose attraction because the guy ended up treating her badly and then suddenly changed and became really nice (in a desperate way) when she began threatening to break up with him.
Each woman is going to want a slightly different thing, but at the end of the say, it all comes down to whether or not you have the ability to make her feel enough attraction to motivate her to want to give you another chance.
When a guy is in a situation like the one you’re in now (i.e. your woman has broken up with you, but is saying that she doesn’t want anyone else to have you), he can get her back quite easily.
It’s all about how he approaches attraction from now on.
However, if he ignores the importance of making her feel attracted and instead just tries to be nice to her, he will ruin his chances and make her feel compelled to get out there and meet new guys who can make her feel attracted.
Here’s the thing…
If your ex is saying, “I don’t want anyone else to have you,” it’s often her way of trying to tell you, “Look, I really do care for you, but right now you’re not making me feel the way I want to feel when around a guy. If you can start being more masculine than me, rather than making me feel like the more dominant one, then it will make me feel like a real woman around you. When I start to feel like a feminine, attractive woman with you, rather than like your buddy or pal, then getting back together again is something I will definitely want to do.”
She’s hoping that you take the initiate to level up your ability to make her feel attracted (e.g. go from being neutral and friendly with her, to masculine and sexual), so she has a reason to give you another chance.
For example: When you talk to her on the phone, rather than being neutral or being on your best behavior, add in some naughty flirting to create sexual tension between and make her feel like a feminine woman.
When you change the way you interact with her in a way that turns her back on, her feelings will naturally change.
Her guard will come down and she will open herself to being your woman again.
However, if you continue to make her feel like a neutral friend, she’ll probably just keep playing tug of war with your emotions by saying that she doesn’t want anyone else to have you and then pushing you away by saying that she doesn’t want to be with you in a relationship.
Another reason why your ex might have said that she doesn’t want anyone else to have you is…
3. She is inexperienced with break ups
If this is your ex’s first or second serious relationship, she might not know how else to handle the situation, other than to hang on to you for a little while and let you drift away slowly.
Women who are experienced with break ups will be very direct and to the point.
The woman will usually then go ahead and unfriend her ex from social media, delete or block his phone number and make any of his emails to her go to her spam folder.
She might also delete all of her photos and videos of him to reduce the chances of her missing him and wanting him back.
However, a woman with less experience may remain open to her ex and try to be nice to him as he moves on.
Little does she know that by remaining open to him, he has the perfect opportunity to re-attract her and get her back.
So, if your ex is currently open to you, it is a good thing.
Use the open communication between you and her to re-attract her and make her want you back.
Another reason why your ex might have said that to you is…
4. She wants the best of both worlds
Sometimes, a woman wants to break up with her boyfriend (or husband), but keep him in her life to make herself feel better.
I refer to this as being her ‘comfort friend’ and discuss it in this video…
Using her ex as a comfort friend boosts her confidence and helps her avoid the pain of seeing him move on before her.
In that way, not only does she have an ex who is available to her if she ever needs him for something (e.g. to help run an errand for her, as an emergency date for a business function or wedding), but she can always reach out to him and get a reply via text, a phone conversation or even in person interaction if she is feeling a bit lonely.
However, if her ex is using the same old approach to attraction that caused her to lose interest in the first place (e.g. he’s too insecure, gives her too much power), then she’s not going to want him back.
She will just keep him around for her comfort and in some cases, for her amusement.
Cruel, I know, but some men to that to ex woman as well.
So, here’s what you need to do…
First, start by asking yourself, “Do I really want her back, or do I want to let her go and try to move on?”
If you feel as though she’s not the right woman for you, then move on by finding a new woman who makes you happy.
On the other hand, if you feel as though your ex is the one for you, then don’t allow her to mess you around by treating you as her comfort friend while she secretly tries to move on.
Talk to her in a way that creates feelings of sexual and romantic attraction inside of her.
Make her really want you in that way.
Don’t make the mistake of saying, “Hey, the way you’re treating me isn’t fair…you’re just using me to make yourself feel better.”
That doesn’t work.
Women don’t feel sexually and romantically attracted to guys who seek pity or try to make them feel guilty for feeling the way they do.
To get her back, you have to change how she feels by changing your approach to her.
For example: The next time your ex says that she doesn’t want anyone else to have you, use it as an opportunity to re-attract her.
Laugh at her and say something along the lines of, “Ohhhh, I get it! You still want me! You miss my kisses…you miss my you know what. It’s okay…you can admit it. No need to be shy. It’s understandable that you still can’t get over me” and then have a laugh with her about that.
To test your newfound confidence, she might act a little annoyed and say something like, “You wish! That’s not how I feel about you at all!” and you can then laugh at her (in a loving, friendly) and let her see that you’re not fooled by her act.
Regardless of how she initially reacts, deep down she will be feeling surges of respect and attraction for you not allowing her to string you along and make you feel like you’re just a friend to her now.
She will then want to keep interacting with you and seeing you, which will result in you and her kissing, hooking up sexually and getting back together.
4 Mistakes to Avoid When Your Ex Says That She Doesn’t Want Anyone Else to Have You
The bottom line is this…
It doesn’t matter what your ex SAYS.
What matters most is what she DOES when you make her feel attracted to you again.
What she will DO is open back up to you, smile more, laugh, touch you and be open to hugging, kissing and hooking up.
What she might SAY are things like, “I’m not sure we should get back together,” or “I don’t see you in that way anymore” and so on.
Don’t pay attention to what she SAYS.
Focus on what she DOES (e.g. cuddle into you when you’re on the couch, kiss you, stare into your eyes, keep talking to you, not leave your house or ask you to leave her house and so on).
So, if you want her back, be confident in yourself and just do what works to get her back (i.e. make her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you).
While doing that, be sure to avoid the following, common mistakes…
1. Promising to wait until she’s ready to be with you again
When a woman says that she doesn’t want anyone else to have her ex guy, he might take it as a sign that she will take him back if he is patient enough.
He might then say to her, “It’s okay. I understand that you’re feeling a bit hurt and confused from our break up. Why don’t you take some time to figure things out and when you’re ready, we can work on our relationship. Take your time. I promise that I will wait for you and not hook up with anyone else in the meantime.”
He then gives her a lot of space (i.e. he doesn’t interact with her in any way for weeks or even months, or stays in contact with her, but only treats her as a nice, neutral friend) and waits for her to change her mind and tell him that she wants him back.
Yet, in most cases, cutting off contact or just being friendly helps her to get over him even faster.
To begin with, when a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because she’s disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for him.
In other words, she doesn’t feel enough respect, attraction and love to justify remaining in a relationship.
So, if he then gives her a lot of space and doesn’t do anything to actively spark her feelings for him again, she’ll move on or gradually come to realize that she isn’t missing her ex and doesn’t want him back.
Additionally, when a guy promises his ex that he will wait for her, she starts to perceive him as being desperate, which turns her off even more.
So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t waste weeks or months waiting for her to give you a clear sign that she’s ready to take you back.
Instead, be emotionally courageous enough to take the lead in the ex back process by interacting with her (e.g. via text, e-mail, social media, on the phone and in person) and reawakening her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
Another mistake to avoid making is to…
2. Trying to get her to change her mind by explaining how much she means to you
If a woman has disconnected from her feelings for her ex, him saying, “I just want you to know that I still care about you and only want to be with you. No other woman can take your place in my heart. You mean the world to me and going forward in my life without you life feels wrong,” isn’t going to make that much of a difference to her.
Essentially, if a woman has lost respect and attraction for a guy, it won’t matter to her that he still loves her or really cares about her and wants her back, because the feelings aren’t mutual.
If she’s a caring person, she might feel a little bit sentimental about what they once had together and feel a bit sorry for him, but it’s usually not going to be compelling enough for her to ignore her lack of attraction for him and get back into a relationship.
If she’s not a caring person, she will be happy that he really wants her back and she is able to stop him from moving on by saying things like, “I don’t want anyone else to have you.”
Whatever the case is though, a guy pouring his heart out to a woman who has dumped him usually isn’t going to make her want him back.
A woman doesn’t want to be with a guy because she feels sorry for him.
She wants to be with him because he makes her feel a lot of respect, sexual attraction and love simply based on how he talks to her and interacts with her.
She doesn’t want to be in a relationship that feels forced or one-sided.
She wants to feel like she’s in love.
So, if you want your ex to change her mind about being broken up, don’t bother telling her how much she means to you because it won’t work.
If she doesn’t feel much respect or attraction for you, she won’t really care about how she means so much to you.
A better way to make her care is to focus on using every interaction you have with her to re-spark her feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, making her feel feminine and girly, flirting with her to create sexual tension).
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Giving her all the power
Sometimes, a guy mistakenly thinks that if he lets his ex woman control everything and be in charge, she will be happy and want him back.
So, when she says, “I don’t want anyone else to have you,” rather than laugh at her attempts to control him, he tries to please her by promising to stay single and wait until she’s ready to give him another chance.
Alternatively, he starts being extra nice, generous and helpful towards her, in the hopes that it will cause her to take pity on him and give him another chance.
Yet, rather than make a woman think, “Aww… he must really love me to take what I said so seriously. I’d be a fool to let a guy like that go,” she loses respect for him because he didn’t have enough balls to laugh at her for trying to control him.
Here’s the thing…
If you allow a woman to control you, she won’t be able to respect you.
Without respect, she can’t feel proper, sexual attraction and without sexual attraction, she’s not going to feel like she’s in love with you in a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife kind of way.
So, don’t let your ex call the shots when it comes to your personal life and don’t wait for her to give you the go ahead to begin seducing her back into a relationship.
Instead, just take the lead and get her back now, or find yourself another woman if you don’t want her back.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
4. Not using interactions as opportunities to make her have strong, irresistible feelings for you
It’s understandable that guy will be confused when his ex woman says something like, “I know that we’re broken up, but I don’t want anyone else to have you. I know it’s selfish for me to say that, but I can’t help it.”
He may begin to wonder, “Huh? What does she mean? Does she want me back? Is she just stringing me along?”
Not knowing what else to do, a guy will often decide to hang around and act like a nice, sweet, neutral friend in the hopes that she will eventually take him back for being so patient and understanding.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Being on your best behavior around a woman who doesn’t feel attracted to you, isn’t going to make her want you.
Additionally, if you’re trying to play her game, she will confuse the heck out of you by constantly changing her mind and giving you mixed signals.
If she notices that you’re confused and are desperately latching onto any good sign she gives you, she will actually lose respect for you and as a result, won’t be able to feel proper attraction for you.
So, don’t let that happen to you.
What’s should you do instead?
Use your friendship with her as a stepping stone towards making her feel sexually attracted to you again, so she can then fall back in love with you.
The more that you focus on making her experience strong, irresistible feelings for you, the more she won’t want anyone else to have you for real.
Now, her reasons for saying, “I don’t want anyone else to have you” won’t be because she’s stringing you along, or because she’s on a power trip and enjoying all the attention from you post break up.
Instead, it will be because suddenly, the idea of letting you go feels like it would be the worst decision of her life.
She doesn’t want to let you go, miss you for life and regret you as the one that got away.
She wants you back…now.