Here are 6 common reasons why a woman will do that and how to get her back:
1. She’s not sure about the new guy yet, so she doesn’t want to fully write you off as an option
Some women don’t like the idea of being single for very long.
So, after a breakup, a woman may get into a rebound relationship as quickly as possible, to help make herself feel loved, wanted and secure.
Yet, it doesn’t mean she feels certain that the guy is the right man for her.
For example: He may be a nice guy who treats her well, but she doesn’t feel a strong spark of sexual attraction with him.
That doesn’t mean she’s ready to break up with him yet, but if the spark doesn’t get stronger she likely will.
In the meantime, she doesn’t want to tell her ex about her rebound guy, because she wants him to remain available (i.e. she’s stringing him along and leaving him uncertain about whether he has a chance with her again or not).
Of course, if things don’t work out with her rebound guy, she can easily get back with her ex again to prevent herself from being alone for too long.
She can then leisurely look for a replacement man that can give her the attraction experience she really wants.
Then, when she’s ready, she can break up with her ex again and move on, this time for real.
So, don’t let your ex play games like that with you.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter if she is seeing someone or not.
What matters is whether you want her back or not.
If you do, then you need to take action to make it happen.
In other words, start by calling her on the phone and begin re-sparking some of her sexual and romantic feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel happy to be talking to you again, flirting with her to create some sexual tension between you) so she wants to see you in person.
Then, when you meet up with her, make her want you more than she wants her new man, if she has one.
You can do that by using ballsy humor to spark her feelings of attraction for you.
You can also do that by making her feel sexy and desirable in comparison to your masculine vibe and approach to the interaction.
The more you do that, the less she will push you away.
You can then guide her through the final steps of the ex back process and make her your girl once again.
Another common reason why your ex won’t tell you if she is seeing someone else or not, is…
2. She likes having that kind of power over you
Most women don’t like to have power over a guy.
However, when it comes to breaking up, there are some women that will try to control their ex by refusing to tell him if they are seeing someone else or not.
This can happen when she’s a vindictive person, or when she’s a nice woman who simply wants to get revenge on her ex for making her feel the way he did when they were together.
So, rather than tell him if she’s seeing someone else so that he knows where he stands with her, she instead refuses to answer him.
He is then left feeling annoyed and unsure of what to do (i.e. should he try to work things out and get her back, or should he give up and walk away).
Yet, if he gives in to her and just sticks around being a nice guy while she continues to mess him around, even if she isn’t seeing someone else, his chances of getting her back are slim.
For a woman to be able to feel respect and attraction for a guy, he has to be able to maintain his position of masculinity and not be walked all over by her.
So, if a man ends up handing all his power over to his ex by letting her get away with messing him around because he’s hoping that she will eventually give him another chance, she won’t respect him for it.
When she doesn’t respect him, she also can’t feel attracted to him and without those two emotions, reconnecting with her feelings of love is almost impossible for her.
So, if your ex has gotten away with dominating you emotionally for too long, now is the time to stand up to her.
Some of the ways you can do that are by…
- Not asking her again if she’s seeing someone else. Even if she hints that she might be, just ignore her and change the subject. If she mentions that she’s with someone just to get a reaction out of you, just say something along the lines of, “That’s great. I’m happy for you,” and then continue talking about something else.
- Showing her via your attitude, actions, behavior and conversation style that you’re happy and moving on with your life without her. Yes, you want her back, but you don’t need her back to feel good about yourself.
- Maintaining your confidence with her and not getting upset or irritated when she won’t open up to you.
The more your ex realizes that she can no longer control you, the more respect and attraction she will start to feel for you again.
Even if she doesn’t want to, she won’t be able to stop it from happening.
Instinctively she will be feeling drawn to you again for being emotionally dominant enough not to let her bully you anymore.
As a result, her walls will begin to crumble and then the process of getting her back becomes easier because she is open to you again.
3. She doesn’t feel obligated to tell you
Although as her ex guy you might feel that you’re entitled to know if she’s seeing someone else or not, the truth is, your ex doesn’t owe you an explanation.
The reality is, you and her are no longer a couple.
You don’t hang out together.
You don’t live with each other.
You don’t share the bills, expenses, or even your hopes and dreams anymore.
So understandably, every time you question her about her personal life, she will likely be thinking things like, “How dare he ask me whether I’m seeing someone or not? Does he think he owns me or something? Well, I’m not his property and I don’t have to explain myself to him. He’s just hoping that I will say no because I want him back. Well, nothing is further from the truth. I never want to be in a relationship with him again and nothing he says or does will ever change that. I wish he would just accept that it’s over between us and leave me alone!”
She will then almost certainly close herself off from you even more and focus on moving on as quickly as possible (i.e. with her new man if she has one, or by finding another guy if she doesn’t).
So, if you don’t want to push your ex girlfriend further away, don’t ask her to tell you if she is seeing someone else.
Instead, just focus on reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
The more attracted and respectful you make her feel, while still being confident and relaxed around her, the sooner she will open back up to you.
You can then get her back if you want to, because she will want it too.
4. She worries that if she tells you that she’s seeing someone, you might do everything in your power to contact him and ruin what she has with him
Sometimes, one of the main reasons why a woman will break up with a guy is because he tends to be too jealous and controlling in the relationship.
For example: He might…
- Stop her from hanging out with her single friends.
- Check her phone and social media to see who she has been interacting with.
- Warn any guys in her life to stay away from her (e.g. her male work colleagues, guys she goes to university with, neighbors).
- Constantly ask her questions to find out where she’s been, with who and why.
Although a woman might initially put up with that kind of behavior because she loves the guy and she might even try to reassure him that she only has eyes for him, eventually she will get fed up with being controlled by him.
She might then react by becoming secretive and having to lie about her whereabouts, which is something that she doesn’t like doing.
As a result, she starts to feel stressed out and unhappy in the relationship with him.
Then, rather than put up with his controlling behavior and over-protectiveness, she will try to reclaim her sense of freedom by breaking up with him.
Of course, if after the break up he begins asking her questions about whether she’s seeing someone or not, chances her high that she will begin thinking things like, “Oh no! Here we go… He’s trying to control me again. Just when I thought I was free of his jealousy and clinginess, he’s making my life miserable once more. What’s worse is that if I tell him that I am with another guy now, he will probably do what he used to do and cause trouble. Then, my new man will dump me, because what guy wants to put up with a woman’s crazy ex. My only hope of having a normal relationship with a guy is to just not tell my ex that I’m seeing someone else and hopefully, he’ll get tired of asking and go away and leave me in peace.”
So, if there’s a chance that your ex is worried you’re going to cause problems with her new man because you’re being jealous and controlling, she probably won’t open up to you.
Remember: A strong and healthy relationship is built on mutual trust, not on controlling each other in an insecure, overly protective way.
If a man and a woman cannot trust each other, it will eventually stop the flow of respect, attraction and love and then there will be no reason for them to be in a relationship with each other.
This is why, if you want your ex back, you have to show her, via your attitude, actions and behavior that you’re now at a different level than you were when you and her broke up (e.g. you’re more emotionally strong and in control of your emotions).
When she can see for herself that you’re now a more emotionally mature man than before, she will be able to trust you again.
When that happens, her guard slips down and you can then reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and get her back.
On the other hand, if you keep pushing for an answer from her, she will take it as a sign that you’re still the same guy she broke up with and she will then put in even more effort to move on without telling you.
Another common reason why your ex won’t tell you if she is seeing someone else or not is…
5. She worries that you might become very angry or aggressive towards her if she admits it now
Even if a guy is a really good man who would never do anything to hurt his ex, a woman has a natural instinct to protect herself from potentially getting hurt physically, or having to deal with an aggressive, threatening ex.
So, when she breaks up with a guy, rather than risk having him lose it if she tells him that she’s seeing someone else, she just refuses to give him an answer.
Basically, she doesn’t want to lie to him and say “No,” but at the same time, she doesn’t want to put herself in a position where she might be insulted or hurt physically by him.
This might be doubly so if a woman’s ex has always had a tendency to lose his temper a lot and get angry with her when they were still together.
As a result, she will avoid a nasty confrontation with him at all costs.
In the meantime, she will focus on moving on with her new guy, so that when the relationship becomes more serious, she can turn to him to protect her from her ex and she will be safe.
6. She was seeing him before she broke up with you, or had him lined up and ready to go and doesn’t want you to find out about that
Sometimes, a woman will find herself in a relationship with a man that she no longer feels attracted to.
She might still care for him because he’s a good man, but deep down she feels as though something is missing.
Secretly, she may even be hoping that her feelings for him will grow over time.
So, if he fails to create a relationship dynamic that causes her to feel sexually and romantically attracted to him and want to treat him well and be a good woman to him, she will eventually begin to lose interest.
If she then happens to meet another man who sparks her feelings of sexual attraction for him (e.g. at work, university, through friends, in her neighborhood), she might not be able to resist the urge to cheat on her man with him.
Alternatively, she might feel attracted to a new man and use her feelings for him as the motivation she needs to finally break up with her guy.
She will then quickly get into a new relationship with her crush.
However, she might still feel guilty about what she did.
Then, rather than tell her ex that she’s seeing someone else and hurt his feelings, she avoids the question to prevent him from finding out what happened.
Additionally, she doesn’t want him thinking badly of her and possibly accusing her of being slutty
So, if you continue asking your ex to tell you if she is seeing someone else or not, make sure you can handle the answer – even if it’s that she cheated on you.
It’s then up to you to decide if you want to get back together again with her and put in the effort to make the relationship work (i.e. by creating a relationship dynamic that causes her to want to be a faithful, loving woman to you), or to walk away and find yourself another high quality woman to be with.
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