Many people believe that getting back with an ex is a recipe for disaster, because the chances of it lasting are very low.
They don’t know how to do it and when they’ve tried in the past, they have failed, so they assume that everyone else will fail too.
They are wrong.
So, if you’re wondering, “Do couples who break up and get back together last?” the answer is…
Yes, if the man is able to guide both himself and the woman into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction.
What a lot of guys don’t know is that getting back together again after a break up is an exciting, rewarding process for both the man and the woman.
It feels really good for both of them.
Love is a powerful thing and feels amazing when it gets stronger and more meaningful after a break up turns into a reconciliation and the couples falls back in love with each other.
Many of the men that I’ve helped to get a woman back have said things like, “We are so much happier now” and, “She said that she can’t believe how good things are now. She is just so happy and in love. I can’t thank you enough!”
So, don’t feel like you can’t get your woman back just because many people out there have no idea how to get an ex back and make the relationship even better.
You can make the relationship even better, but just make sure that you don’t make these classic mistakes, otherwise the reconciliation won’t last…
1. Not Changing the Attraction Experience to What She Actually Wants
A woman will rarely wake up one morning and think, “Hmmm…everything is so great in my relationship! My man is just wonderful, so I think I’m going to break up with him now!”
That would be crazy, right?
For a woman to come to a decision to break up with her man, it will usually be after a long time of trying to get him to change and give her the kind of attraction experience she really wants.
For example: A woman might have been with a guy who was always way too nice to her.
He allowed her to push him around and believed that she would be happier if he just let her get her way all the time.
She may told him to stop being such a pushover or she might have hinted at that fact that he needed to “man up” or “grow a pair of balls,” but he just didn’t know how to do it, or he thought that being a pushover was the right thing to do.
By not being ballsy enough to stand up to her and take the lead, rather than make her happy, she then ended up feeling like the more dominant one and as a result, she didn’t feel like a real woman (i.e. feminine, girly, free to be emotional, protected by her man).
She then began to lose respect for him because he just wasn’t man enough for her.
So, to get her back and make the relationship last, the guy needs to show her that he’s no longer the pushover guy that broke up with.
He needs to become more ballsy and stop letting her dominate him with her confident personality.
It’s not about being rude, mean or selfish towards her.
Instead, he just needs to stop putting up with her crap and be a more dominant, loving man, rather than letting her disrespect him and just being a wimpy, loving man.
When he interacts with her again as a dominant, loving man, she will be able to pick up on the new, more attractive way that he now he talks, behaves and responds to her dominant personality.
She will realize that he is now capable of giving her the attraction experience that she really wants in a relationship, rather than him continuing on doing what he thinks is “the right thing to do,” but which is actually turning her off completely.
When she sees that he is being a dominant, loving man and leading the way, she can relax into feeling like a real woman around him, which will then trigger her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for him and open her up to the idea of being in a relationship with him again.
Another example is when a guy treated a woman badly (e.g. he took her for granted, broke his promises to her) and then when he realized his mistake, he became way too nice in an effort to suck up to her.
That doesn’t work because a woman doesn’t want to see her man in desperation mode and acting like his whole world depends on her approval and attention.
To get her back he needs to show her (via his actions and behavior) that he is now a balanced, normal man who treats a woman well, but also expects to be treated well in return.
She will then begin to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new man he has become.
The idea of being in a lasting relationship with him will no longer seem impossible.
He can then get her back for real.
2. Getting Her Back Via Begging and Pleading
Sometimes, a guy just can’t handle the emotional pain of breaking up.
You get that horrible pain in your chest, the hot panic all across your body and you can’t eat or sleep properly.
It’s not fun.
Yet, women don’t want to see that a guy is panicking and is desperate without her.
A woman wants to see that he is handling the situation like a man (i.e. remaining in control of his emotions, making the necessary changes and then getting her back).
Of course, most guys don’t do that and get sucked into the painful emotions that course through their body and mind after a break up.
For example: A guy may get stuck thinking things like, “This is horrible…I’m all alone now. I thought her and I would be together for life and now she’s telling me it’s over. I can’t accept it. She is my life and without her there would be no point continuing on. Other women don’t interest me. All I want is her. Everything I ever imagined for my future has her in it! I have to do something before it’s too late and I lose her forever.”
Feeling overwhelmed by the pain, he may then start begging and pleading with her and saying things like, “Please give me one more chance. I will do anything to make things right between us. I know we can work things out if we stick together. Please don’t let go of what we have together!”
In some instances (e.g. when a woman has little or no previous experience with relationships, or she feels sorry for him), a woman might give a guy another chance for a while.
If she gives him a chance, it will only be for a few days or weeks at most because she will realize her mistake soon enough.
She will ask herself, “Is this the man I want to spend the rest of my life with? He’s so emotionally weak and sensitive. Is the pity that I feel for him enough to keep a relationship together for life? Why am I wasting my time with him? He’s doesn’t even know how to be the strong man that I need” and will then break up with him once again.
In most cases though, when a guy starts begging and pleading, rather than make a woman change her mind about breaking up with him, it simply convinces her that she’s made the right decision. Why?
A woman’s attraction to a guy is based mostly on how he makes her feel by the way he talks, interacts with her, his body language, his attitude, the way he responds to the problems in his life and the way he handles himself as a man.
- Is he confident, emotionally strong and capable of taking care of her and himself in the long term, or is he insecure, self-doubting and emotionally sensitive?
- Does he know how to be a man, or does he need her to guide him and teach him how to be man enough for her?
- Can he handle the challenges in his life, or does he fall apart and crumble under the pressures of life?
- Does he have big dreams, goals and a purpose in his life outside of his relationship with her, or has he made her the center of his world and is unable to function as a man without her?
These are the types of things that draw a woman to a man and keep her attracted and interested in the long run.
So, when a guy is begging and pleading with a woman to take him back because he can’t handle the pain of being broken up, she will usually think something like, “This isn’t the kind of guy I see myself being with for life. I need a man that I can look up to, respect and feel attracted to, not a boy who needs a mother figure to hold his hand when things get tough in life.”
Even though he has good intentions and really does want things to work between them, his approach is all wrong.
He’s trying to get her back by displaying traits and behaviors that actually turn women off.
So, if you’ve broken up with your ex and want to get her back into a relationship that will last, make sure that you avoid begging and pleading with her.
Of course, if you’ve already made the mistake of begging your ex to give you a second chance, don’t worry about it.
It’s not the end of the world and it’s not unfixable.
As long as you have learned from your mistake, you can hold your head high knowing that you’ve become and are currently becoming a better man because of what happened.
You’re no longer the same guy who begged and pleaded with her and you’re also not the same guy that she broke up with.
You are a better man now.
So, don’t worry about how you behaved in the past (e.g. begged and pleaded) and simply focus on making your ex feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new you whenever you interact with her (e.g. by being confident and self-assured, making her laugh, staying emotionally strong even when she is being cold and unfriendly towards you).
3. Not Having Any Mutual Goals That You’re Excited to Experience Together in the Long Term
There are many reasons why a man and a woman might stay together for life, including:
- Respect and attraction that grows stronger over time.
- Love that becomes deeper and more meaningful over time.
- Great sex.
- Great communication.
However, one very important component of a relationship that lasts is that the man and woman both have the same long term goals and views about life (e.g. getting a house, starting a family, traveling).
Couples with real staying power understand the value of having shared long term interests and goals that they look forward to experiencing together.
On the other hand, if the couple doesn’t see eye to eye on the more fundamental aspects of the relationship, it will be difficult for them to connect on a deeper level and feel motivated to stay together for life.
Eventually, one or the other will feel that they are missing out on what they really want to do in life and a break up will likely happen.
For example: Imagine that a woman is thinking, “I’m so glad to be in a relationship with such a great man. I can’t wait for us to get a house together. I’ve even applied for a promotion at work so that we can get more money to apply for a mortgage. When that happens, we can get married and start a family together as soon as possible,” while at the same time the guy is thinking, “I’m having such a great time partying right now. It’s awesome going to bars and clubs and not having any responsibilities. I would hate getting stuck with a mortgage or kids. I want to go traveling and see the world. I just want to live a life of fun. I don’t want to get tied down.”
Clearly, they don’t have the same goals in life.
So, even though they might really love each other now, over the long-term, they will most-likely start fighting, arguing and drifting apart unless one of them changes their long term goals.
If neither of them change, they will end up resenting each other because either the man of the woman will feel like they are compromising on their goals and dreams to suit the other person.
That’s not how a happy, successful, long-term relationship works.
For a couple to stay together, having mutual goals that they are excited to experience together in the long term is absolutely essential.
That doesn’t mean a man and a woman should be doing everything together as a couple and have no independent hobbies or interests.
Instead, it simply means they should want the same things in the long-term and be working towards making their mutual goals a reality.
The Second Time Around is Usually Better
Falling back in love after a break up is one of the most amazing feelings a couple can experience in life.
There’s just something about the fact that you and her have a history together, you used to feel great together, went through a bad patch, fixed things up and are now happy, more mature, more in love and more connected than ever before.
Women love that feeling and so do men.
It’s a really cool thing to experience and literally millions of couples do it every year.
People break up and get back together all the time.
You can be one of the men who successfully guides your woman back into a relationship.
You’d be surprised at how easy it is when you focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you and then guiding her back into feelings of love and passion again.
When you spark her feelings for you again and then build on that, all her walls come down and she wants to be back in your arms again.
It feels right.
It feels good.
It’s an amazing experience for both the man and the woman.
So, do couples who break up and get back together last?
The answer is…
Yes, as long as the man starts by making the woman feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him and then guides her back into feelings of love and passion.
In most cases, it happens very quickly, but with really messy break ups, it can sometimes take weeks because the woman needs a little bit of time to process her new feelings and feel enough desire and motivation to give him another chance.
You might be able to get your ex back today, tomorrow or within a few days.
So, if you want her back, go ahead and do it.
Don’t listen to people who tell you that it’s impossible.