If your ex left you because of a GIGs (Grass is Greener Syndrome) situation, then here’s what you need to do to get her back:
1. Don’t look at the other guy as being better than you in any way
If you do see him as being better than in you (in any way), you will naturally feel insecure and that insecurity will come through based on how you interact with and talk to your ex, which will turn her off.
So, the first thing you must do is see yourself as being better than him, no matter what.
It doesn’t matter if you think he has some qualities that you don’t.
You’ve got to believe in yourself and your value as a man, otherwise you just won’t be able to display the confidence required to properly re-attract your ex.
This applies even if your ex has said that she’s happier now she is with him.
Regardless of what she has said, or what qualities he has, it does not mean that he is better for her than you are.
The reason why she thought the grass was greener on the other side in terms of this guy, is that he is simply filling in the emotional gaps that you were unable to fill in the relationship.
For example: Imagine this…
A woman is in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t take life seriously enough, so she can’t ever really feel safe about a future with him.
He spends most of his time playing video games, hanging out with friends and basically acting like nothing really matters.
If she nags him to man up and start being more responsible, he might say something like, “Stop nagging me! We’re still young and should enjoy ourselves while we still can. There will be plenty of time to get serious about life’s responsibilities later. All that stuff can wait.”
Unfortunately, she doesn’t look at life the same way as he does.
She wants to feel safe about a future with him, based on him being the sort of guy who has big goals and ambitions and follows through on them, rather than hiding from them (e.g. behind gaming, chilling with his buddies, watching more TV than he needs to, getting high all the time and so on).
So, she breaks up with him and hopes to find herself a guy who will give her a real sense of security about the future.
She then meets a guy who is a lot more serious, focused and driven than her ex and he has already been making good progress in life (e.g. he’s been promoted at work, has been able to pay off his car, is saving up for a deposit on a home, he talks about how he wants to have a family one day).
So, she starts dating him and really feels as though the grass is greener with him, because he offers so much more hope about a secure future.
As a result, she feels safer about potentially getting pregnant to a guy like that because at least he is making progress and has shown that he can get things done, compared to her ex who has been in a dead end job for a while (i.e. with no real options to get promoted) and is happy to just cruise and chill when it comes to life.
From her perspective, the grass is definitely greener with the new guy.
Yet, here’s the thing…
The new guy isn’t necessarily going to be perfect.
He has also had 100% of his previous relationships fail up until that point, so there’s no guarantee that he will be able to make a relationship work with your ex.
For example: He might be driven and ambitious, but he might also be insecure, needy, selfish, controlling, untrustworthy and manipulative.
As a result, when she begins to pick up on that, she will naturally lose interest in him.
Of course, you don’t have to wait for her to hopefully lose interest.
Instead, you can interrupt her new relationship and get her back.
Watch the video below for some examples.
So, if she is currently happy with the new guy, don’t make the mistake of looking at him as being better than you in anyway.
Always believe in yourself and your value to your ex (and to other women), rather than seeing other guys as being better for a woman than you are.
If you can honestly believe in yourself, you will naturally exude the type of confidence that women are magnetically attracted to.
Another thing you can do to ensure a grass is greener syndrome reconciliation is…
2. Re-attract her with a completely new approach to attraction
For your ex woman to currently be feeling that she’s getting something better from her new guy than she was with you, it must mean that he’s attracting her in new ways.
So, if you want her to feel drawn to you, it’s important that prepare yourself to attract her in new ways that you may not be used to, or that might even scare you a little initially, before you get comfortable with it and grow into it.
For example: If your approach to attraction was to shower your woman with flowers, gifts and romantic gestures, praise and attention, you should ease up on that and begin to be a bit of a challenge when interacting with her.
For example: Imagine that you call her and she answers and says something like, “Why are you calling me? Why can’t you just accept that I’m with another guy now?”
If you’ve been a bit of a pushover in the past, she will be expecting you to get emotional and respond with something like, “Please, just talk to me. Just give me a chance. I will do anything to make it up to you.”
Yet, what you do instead is confidently say something like, “Relax. We can talk as friends. No need to be so dramatic” and have a laugh.
Say it in a relaxed, easy-going, but assertive manner to let her see that you’re still being a good guy, but she can’t walk all over you like she has in the past.
You’ve manned up.
You’ve grown a pair of balls when it comes to her.
Of course, when you say something like that, a woman will often pretend to be shocked or offended that you would dare say something like that to her.
Yet, deep down she will be feeling a lot of respect and attraction for you having the balls to joke around with her like that and still be a good guy about it.
As a result, she will begin to think of you in a new light.
Additionally, if her new guy is starting to become a bit insecure, or is jealous of her talking to you, but you seem so confident, sure of yourself and are not jealous at all, then you are going to seem like the more attractive guy.
Women are always attracted to the more confident guy, so you must always remember to display confidence no matter what.
If you do, women can’t help but feel attracted to you.
It’s not about being arrogant, boasting or anything like that.
Instead, it’s about knowing that your approach to women makes them feel attracted and drawn to you.
When you know that, do it and see that it always works, then you naturally feel so confident in yourself that you have the balls to be a bit of a challenge.
It’s similar to how hot women have the guts to be a bit of a challenge, reject guys, play hard to get and so on.
She knows that guys will still try to get with her because they feel so attracted to her.
Guys will put up with her playing a bit hard to get and they will try to impress her to get a chance with her.
The same thing applies when you know how to attract women and be a bit of a challenge; women simply feel drawn to you in ways that they can’t control.
3. Talk to her as though the other guy doesn’t even cross your mind
Don’t even see the other guy as existing, or being part of the picture.
This is about you and her, not him, you and her.
You and her had a relationship and you and her are going to get back together.
He is irrelevant.
So, if she brings him up in conversation, just talk about something else when you can change the topic.
Don’t let him become a big part of what you and her talk about.
Make it about you and her.
Of course, don’t tell her, “I don’t want to talk about him” because that’s insecure.
Simply change the subject when you can, rather than continuing to talk about him.
When she sees that you aren’t asking her questions about him and her, or worrying if he is making her feel more love and attraction, she will feel curious as to how you can be so confident in yourself and your attractiveness and value to her.
If she brings him up and you don’t become jealous, but simply change the topic when you can, she will also see that you aren’t looking at him as being better than you.
You are focused on you and her.
As a result, she will feel like you and her still have a private connection that isn’t over yet.
There’s something there.
This will naturally cause her to miss you and want to see you.
4. Don’t try to have deep and meaningful conversations about her leaving you and being with a new guy
She doesn’t want to feel exhausted by having to get into long, deep and meaningful conversations about why she did what she did.
If you want her back, she will need to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
So, make her feel that.
When you interact with her, focus on flirting with her and getting her laughing and smiling, so she feels as though what you and her had isn’t over.
There is still a spark between you and her and she feels it every time she interacts with you.
In many cases, I’ve heard back from clients who have told me their ex girlfriend (or wife) had then told the new guy that she still had feelings for her ex and was feeling confused.
This usually leads to the new guy become insecure, jealous and controlling, which then leads her right back into your arms because women are always more attracted to the more confident guy.
So, keep things light between you and her and focus on flirting with her and getting her laughing and smiling.
For example: She asks how you’ve been lately and rather than just saying, “Yeah, pretty good. How about you?” or something standard like that, flirt with her instead.
Say something like, “I’ve been fantastic. It’s such a relief not having you in my life anymore” and then pause and have a laugh, to let her know you’re joking.
Then add in something like, “No, just kidding. I’ve been fantastic and it’s great that you and I can still be friends.”
Essentially, you’re flirting with her by being playfully challenging and showing her that you do still like having her in your life.
Additionally, by adding in, “…it’s great that you and I can still be friends” it makes her feel a little rejected and as though she has lost your romantic interest.
Since you will be making her feel attracted to you as you talk to her (i.e. by being confident, charming, challenging, flirtatious), she will naturally be feeling that maybe she doesn’t want to just be friends with you.
That then makes her feel open to catching up with you in person to see what might happen (i.e. will she feel compelled to kiss you and have sex with you? Will she fall back in love with you and want to dump the new guy?).
5. Don’t seem like you’re trying hard to impress her and win back her love
For example: Sometimes a guy will try to impress his ex by telling his ex that…
- He’s working hard to get a promotion at work.
- He’s planning on buying himself a new car.
- Other women are interested in him, but he isn’t interested because only wants to be with her.
- He’s been going to the gym to get in shape, or he’s trying to lose weight or gain weight.
- He’s been going to a therapist to work on his issues.
Essentially, he hopes that his ex will be impressed and then want him back because of how much effort he’s putting in to improving himself.
Yet, women don’t want to be with a guy who is doing everything for her.
Women are attracted to a man who does things because he wants to do them, not so he can hopefully gain a woman’s approval.
Women want a man who approves of himself right now, as is and then improves himself further because he wants to.
Additionally, women don’t want to hear about their ex’s ‘journey of improvement’ where he goes to a therapists and tries to fix his childhood issues.
A woman just wants a man to get on with being an attractive man and not have to discuss it with her, or seek encouraging words from her.
She doesn’t want to seem like a mentor to him, or like a parental figure.
She wants to feel like a guy’s girl and that can only happen if he is his own man (i.e. he does what he wants because he wants to do it, not because he hopes it will impress her).
It’s a difficult one to understand for some guys, because on one hand, you do have to impress an ex to get her back.
However, just don’t come across as though you’re trying hard to impress her to hopefully get her to say yes to taking you back.
Simply be an impressive man that she can look at and think, “Wow. He has really changed. He’s so much cooler/more confident than before. Maybe he isn’t so bad after all. If I don’t get back with him, other women are going to find him much more attractive now, so he might end up with a prettier woman than me. Maybe I should just give him a chance while I still can.”
3 Mistakes Guys Make When They’ve Been Dumped in a GIGs (Grass is Greener Syndrome) Situation
If you want to win your ex girl back, you have to make sure that what you say and do from now on reawakens her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
This is why, it’s essential that you don’t make any of the following mistakes that will push her even further into the arms of her new guy.
1. Assuming that she was just confused, rather than realizing that she wasn’t attracted
The reality is that rather than being confused, she broke up with him due to not feeling enough attraction for him anymore (i.e. because he was too insecure, the relationship became boring and stale, he ended up being a bit too jealous or controlling).
So, if he just sits around waiting and doing nothing to improve his approach to attraction, the new guy is going to enjoy a relationship with her and will probably be attracting her in the ways that she always wanted (e.g. he is more confident, more masculine in his behavior, isn’t insecure, is more driven and ambitious, knows how to put her back in her place in a dominant, but loving way).
Then, before he knows it, weeks, months and maybe even a year will pass and she might still be together with the new guy.
This is why, if your ex left you due to losing feelings for you (i.e. she no longer felt enough respect, attraction and love to want to stick with you), then don’t assume she is just confused and doesn’t know why she is with that guy.
She almost certainly knows that he is currently making her feel more attracted than you.
If you want her back, you’ve got to change your approach to attraction, so she feels more attracted to you than to him.
2. Secretly looking at her as your only decent option, so you end up coming across as needy and insecure, even when you try to hide it
If your ex gets a sense that you’re lost without her and unable to move on, it’s going to turn her off.
Women aren’t attracted to desperation or neediness, so make sure you show her (by the way you think, talk and behave) that you are an emotionally strong, emotionally independent and confident man who is opening to being with her, but doesn’t need her back to feel good about himself.
3. Not realizing that she probably isn’t completely happy with you
Sometimes a guy is so happy in a relationship that he fails to notice the signs that his girlfriend (or wife) doesn’t feel the same way.
He assumes she’s just being moody, or complaining about things she doesn’t need to and that she will get over it.
Yet, even though she does like him in some ways, she’s just not happy with the dynamic of the relationship and how it makes her feel (e.g. he loves her way more than she loves him, he is needy for her, he gets jealous very easily because he isn’t confident when being compared to other guys and worries she will easily like another guy, she can’t be her true self around him and needs to be extra careful with her words or behavior because he’s so emotionally sensitive).
She puts up with it for a while, hoping that he will change, but if he doesn’t, then she will eventually dump him or cheat on him and leave him for what she sees as greener pastures.
So, here’s the thing…
If your ex was tempted by another guy, it means she wasn’t completely happy with you.
If you want her back, you need to be willing to change your approach to attraction, or focus on adjusting or changing things about yourself that were turning her off (e.g. if you were too insecure, weren’t able to ‘be the man’ in the relationship because she walked all over you with her confident personality, weren’t able to make her feel ongoing desire for you, so she ended up feeling more like a friend).
If you are willing to make some quick adjustments (I can help you with that) and then interact with her, then you can re-attract her and get her back.