The difference between a rebound and a woman leaving for ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ reasons, is that one happens after the break up and the other happens before.
The relationship she gets into after the break up is a rebound.
Suffering from the grass is greener syndrome happens during the relationship, when she’s falling out of love.
So, how can you get a woman back from a rebound vs. a grass is greener break up?
Get Her Back From a Rebound
1. Interrupt the process of her moving on with him by making her have feelings for you again
You can do this by confidently interacting with her every chance you get (e.g. over the phone and preferably in person) and making her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again.
Show her by the way you talk, behave and respond to what she says and does that you’re a new and improved man now.
- You’re so much more confident in yourself and in your value to her now, so you don’t get jealous or upset when she talks about her new man. If she says something like, “I’m happy now. He’s so much better than you,” to make you feel insecure, you simply laugh and show her that you’re not bothered by her comments.
- You’re so much more emotionally independent now. Even though you still care for her and want her back, you’re not sitting around feeling sad or stuck in a rut. You’re living a happy, enjoyable, fun life without her.
When interacting with your ex, make sure that you don’t pretend as though you’re only interested in being her nice, platonic friend now that she has a new man.
You ARE her man.
So, flirt with her to create some sexual tension between you and her.
Let it build up over a couple of interactions and she will begin thinking, “Why do I miss my ex all of a sudden? I want to be hugging and kissing him, not this new guy. I actually look forward to the conversations I have with my ex, even though I know it’s wrong to feel this way because I’m with another guy now. I feel so confused. Should I just hook up with my ex again and see what happens? Maybe that’s the only way I’ll know who I should choose.”
2. Confidently move forward to a hug, kiss and then sex if possible
As long as you have been building up sexual tension between you and your ex when talking to her on the phone, when you meet her face-to-face, chances are high that she will be open to at least giving you a hug to say hi, or giving you a goodbye hug when you part ways.
If you she gives you a goodbye hug, go ahead and confidently take her in your arms and give her a warm hug.
If she doesn’t, then make sure that you initiate it by saying, “Anyway, good catching up with you. Come here. Bring it in for a goodbye hug” and then move towards her with your arms open.
When hugging her, if she seems open to a kiss (e.g. she remains in your arms longer than necessary, she snuggles into your neck, she looks up at you and smiles and then licks her lips), just lean in and give her a kiss.
Then, head to her place or yours to ‘hang out’ or ‘have a coffee’ and then have sex.
3. She then has to decide between you and him
After you’ve had sex with her again, or at least kissed her, she will then have to make a decision between you and him.
However, don’t push her to make a choice if she doesn’t make one immediately.
She might get back with you right away, but if she doesn’t, just let her walk away feeling confused and missing you.
She will then text you, call you and want to see you again.
You can then catch up with her again, hook up and get the relationship back together.
Get Her Back When She Left You Due to Thinking That the Grass Was Greener on the Other Side
1. Make her feel attracted to the new and improved you
The grass may seem like it’s greener on the other side (i.e. other women might seem more attractive to you, or she might feel attracted to certain types of guys), but it doesn’t mean that if you or leave you are going to be happy with someone else.
Sometimes, leaving for a ‘grass is greener’ reason makes a woman realize how special the connection with her ex really was.
Yet, sometimes she doesn’t.
Sometimes, she is happy about breaking up and wants to keep moving on without her ex.
If that applies to your situation, then you need to interact with her on a phone call or in person and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you.
You can create a bit of a spark via text, but it’s not the best approach to use when an ex woman is cold and uninterested in getting back together.
So, you have to be courageous enough to call, or at least initially text to make her respond and be open and then call.
When talking to your ex on the phone or in person, some of the ways you can re-spark her feelings are by:
- Using humor to make her feel relaxed, happy and attracted to you again.
- Maintaining your confidence around her when she tries to make you feel insecure by being cold, bitchy, mean or critical.
- Showing her by the way you now talk, think, behave, interact with her and respond to what she says and does, that you’re no longer the man she fell out of love with. You’re so much more confident and self-assured now.
- Making her feel desirable and sexy in your presence, rather than making her feel like just a friend.
- Being more emotionally dominant than her, rather than letting her overpower you with her forceful personality.
When you interact with your ex in some of those ways, she begins to feel drawn to the new and improved you.
She is then suddenly faced with the kind of man she can look up to, respect and feel attracted to and the grass on the other side (i.e. her new man) no longer seems that green (i.e. attractive) to her anymore.
2. Let her see that you’ve gone beyond the level that you were at when she dumped you
You are now the kind of man she always wanted you to be (e.g. more confident and emotionally strong, more masculine in a way that makes her feel feminine in comparison to you, more focused and driven in your life, more centered and sure of yourself).
In the meantime, if her new guy is making common relationship mistakes that are turning her off (e.g. he’s too much of a bad boy and is irresponsible and immature, there’s too much of a gap between her relationship intelligence and his, he is selfish, he is too giving and sucks up to her all the time, he gives her too much power), she is going to begin feeling drawn back to you.
She will realize that she wants to be with you way more than she wants to be with him.
You can then build on her feelings and get her back.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Trying to Get an Ex Back From a Rebound or Grass is Greener Relationship
If you want her back, you need to make sure that whatever you say and do from this moment onwards sparks feelings of respect, attraction and love inside of her and makes her want you back.
To ensure that happens, avoid making the following mistakes that other guys make when in a situation like yours:
1. Thinking that she is in control of the ex back process
Sometimes a guy assumes that because his ex is in another relationship, getting her back is entirely up to her (i.e. she is the only one who can decide which man she wants to be with and he has no control over that whatsoever).
Yet, here’s what he doesn’t understand…
A man has a lot of control over the ex back process when he focuses on making his ex woman have sexual and romantic feelings for him again.
When a woman feels drawn to her ex in a way that feels good to her, she naturally begins to want him back for her own reasons (e.g. she begins to notice the flaws in her new guy vs. her ex, she fears letting her ex go and then regretting it later on, she feels curious about her new feelings for her ex and wants to explore them).
As a result, a man can then get his ex woman back because she is open to seeing where things go.
On the other hand, if a guy hangs around pretending to be her friend or cuts off contact and waits for her to make up her mind, he will have pretty much no power over the ex back process.
So, don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s all up to your ex whether you get back together or not.
If you want her back, you have to be ballsy enough to take the lead and make it happen.
Another mistake that other guys make when in a situation like yours, is…
2. Overanalyzing her state of mind to the point where he feels overwhelmed and totally unsure about how to get her back
Making a big deal about your ex’s every mood, gesture or comment is the fastest way to make you feel nervous and unsure of yourself.
For example: A woman might say something like, “I’m so confused right now. You keep calling me and I don’t know how to deal with that because I’m with someone else now.”
A guy might then wonder, “What does she mean by that? Is she confused because she has feelings for me, or because she doesn’t know how to tell me to leave her alone? Does she want me to stop calling her because she doesn’t want to upset her new guy, or does she mean that she’s attracted to me and doesn’t know how to tell her new guy?”
He then becomes uncertain about what to, so he remains stuck and doesn’t do anything else to get her back.
Here’s the thing …
Feeling unsure of yourself when interacting with your ex is the fastest way to turn her off even future.
Remember: Women are instinctively attracted to the qualities in a man that best display his emotional strength (e.g. confidence, assertiveness, decisiveness, determination, certainty, courage, calmness under pressure), and are turned off by qualities that display emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, self-doubt, an inability to make decisions and take action).
So, you have to remind yourself not to take the interactions with your ex so seriously from now on.
Instead, let the interactions between you and her be about having fun and enjoying each other (e.g. laughing, smiling, enjoying each other’s company), rather than trying to get her back into a relationship by discussing how she feels, asking her for a chance or telling her that you’ve changed.
The more that you can relax and maintain your confidence when interacting with your ex, the more drawn to you she will feel.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Waiting too long to make a move and get her back
When a woman is in a new relationship (regardless of whether it’s a rebound or grass is greener scenario), her ex might worry about being rejected and end up hesitating to make any real moves to get her back.
He may think, “She’s with someone else now, so I probably don’t stand a chance with her. Maybe if I wait long enough, she will break up with him and then I can make my move. Alternatively, he might stuff up and she will then realize that what she had with me was special and she will then come back by herself after a few months.”
Here’s the thing…
If your ex is happy with her new guy and you don’t do anything to re-attract her, seduce her and get her back with you, she might end up being with him for 6 months, a year or even longer.
Likewise, if her rebound or grass is greener relationship doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that she will want to get back with you at that point if you haven’t done anything to re-attract her, or are not prepare to re-attract her when she becomes single again.
This is why, if you want your ex back for real, you shouldn’t sit around waiting for ‘the perfect moment’ to try and get her back.
The perfect moment is right now.
If you don’t take your chance now, you may end up losing her and losing a lot more confidence in yourself in the process.
On the other hand, if you re-attract her and get her back in the next few days or in the next couple of weeks, your confidence will go through the roof and you can make her feel so attracted and in love with you that she will ditch the new guy and stick with you.
Another mistake that guys often make when in a situation like your is…
4. Feeling unworthy of her because of how and why she broke up with him
It sucks to be broken up and it sucks even more if a woman dumped you for another guy, or hooked up with someone else right away.
However, if you allow the pain of the break up to destroy your confidence and make you feel unworthy of her or other quality women, you will actually be delaying your chances of getting her back or successfully moving on.
Feeling unworthy only makes you seem less attractive to your ex and to other women.
A woman likes the idea of being with a confident, emotionally strong man who believes in his value to her no matter what she says or does to make him doubt it.
So, when a guy is being insecure, self-doubting and doesn’t believe he is good enough for his ex (or other quality women), she simply feels turned off by him even further.
She can see that he has given up on himself and is lost and upset without her.
She feels right about her decision to have left him and moved on with someone else (i.e. the grass really does look greener for her on the other side).
So, if you want your ex back, you must absolutely believe that you are good enough for her and then take action to re-attract her and get her back.
If you don’t and she is happy with her new guy, she will probably continue on with him and see him as being a better option than you, even though he isn’t.
Another mistake that guys make when facing a rebound or GIGS (Grass is Greener Syndrome) situation is…
5. Waiting for clear signals from her before he decides to start the ex back process
It would be nice if a woman made her feelings very obvious to her ex (e.g. “Hey, I miss you and want you back. I love you. Please get me back now”), but it almost never happens like that.
In most cases, rather than make her feelings clear, a woman assumes that what they had is over and her ex won’t know how to get her back.
So, she then pours of all her energy into making her new relationship work, or to meeting new guys and falling in love.
This is why, if you want to get your ex back from a rebound or GIGS situation, don’t expect her to give you a crystal clear sign that she’s open to you getting her back, because she probably won’t (even if she is interested).
What should you do instead?
Be emotionally courageous enough to take the lead in the ex back process and get her back.
That’s how a real man does it.
You can do it.