Here’s what you need to do…
1. Stop asking her how she feels and start making her have feelings for you
Not asking her how she feels might seem like the opposite of what you want to do, but in reality, it will actually get you want you want.
You want her to have strong feelings for you and want you back, right?
Well, what you need to understand is that women don’t like to be asked about their feelings for an ex guy.
Instead, what women respond best to is when their ex guy makes them have feelings again, rather than asking her to explain her feelings.
By the way…
Even when you make your ex have feelings for you again, trying to get her to tell you how she feels still isn’t the right approach.
In most cases, even when a woman begins to have feelings for her ex again, she won’t want to admit it.
Instead, she will keep quiet about her feelings and just see what happens.
Here are a few common reasons why a woman will do that:
- She wants to test to see if her ex is man enough to take the lead and get her back, regardless of what she’s saying or doing to discourage him.
- She doesn’t want to seem too eager in case her ex then loses interest in getting her back (e.g. he only wanted to see that she wanted him back and when she shows that, he feels good about himself and then moves on).
- She needs a bit more time to finally decide whether or not she wants to get back together or move on.
This is why nagging your ex by saying things like, “Please just be truthful to me about me how you really feel. Just be honest. I want to know,” is likely only going to get you stonewalled.
So, what should a guy do instead?
Use every interaction that you have with her from now on (especially on phone calls or in person, rather than text), to make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again, so she can then naturally fall back in love with you.
The more you focus on making her have strong feelings for you again (e.g. by using humor to break down her defenses rather than being stressed and serious when you talk to her, making her feel like a feminine woman in your presence rather than feeling like just a friend, maintaining your confidence with her and showing her you’re an emotionally strong man, rather than showing her that you feel lost, confused or hurt without her), the more drawn to you she will feel.
Her feelings will begin to show in the tonality of her voice, her body language and in the way she talks and responds to you.
You will see that sparkle come back into her eyes, where she looks at you with feelings of respect, attraction and love flowing through her.
You can then build on those feelings and get her back.
However, if you just sit around asking, “How can I get my ex to be truthful about how she really feels about me?” and then try to get her to explain herself, she will probably get fed up with dealing with your ineffective approach and then just move on.
So, don’t waste your time and energy trying to get her to open up and be honest.
Instead, make her have strong feelings for you again, so she naturally feels drawn to you and wants back.
When you do that, you will see the truth about how she really feels.
She will show you by way of her actions and behavior that she feels attracted and in love again.
Another thing you can do is…
2. Let her see that you don’t need to get an answer from her
Sometimes a guy becomes fixated on getting a clear answer from his ex about her feelings for him.
Yet, here’s the thing…
If a woman senses that a guy needs to know her true feelings for him so that he can take feel better about himself or decide what to do with his life (e.g. to get her back or move on without her), it actually turns her off him even more. Why?
Women are attracted to men who are confident about their attractiveness to a woman and don’t need to be told, “I like you” or, “I find you attractive.”
Women are attracted to men who know that they are likeable, attractive, cool, interesting and valuable, without having to be told by a woman.
So, if a guy behaves in an insecure manner by needing to know his ex’s real feelings for him and then loses confidence in himself when she doesn’t tell him, she won’t be able to fully respect him and feel attracted to him.
She will feel disappointed by his lack of independent confidence and how much pressure he is putting on her to help him manage his emotional state.
If she was hoping that they would get back together somehow, she will also feel disappointed that he is ruining that with his insecurity and neediness.
So, the next time you interact with your ex, make sure you don’t mention her feelings for you and try to get her to give you an answer or even hint at an answer.
Just know that you are more than good enough for her and then, allow that confidence to come through in your body language, vibe, conversation style, behavior and actions.
When you do, she will naturally feel sparks of respect and attraction for you for being such a man about this all of a sudden.
Even if she brings up the topic and says something like, “I don’t know how I feel right now,” just laugh and say in a relaxed, easy-going way, “I’m cool with that. We don’t need to tell each other exactly how we feel. It’s fine. Let’s just relax, hang out and enjoy each other’s company” and then change the subject.
She will likely be shocked (in a good way) by your new, confident attitude and begin to hope that you’re finally starting to understand how to handle the situation.
From there, you need to use every interaction you have with her to…
3. Build on her feelings for you by creating sexual tension that you don’t release right away
Sexual tension happens when a man and a woman feel sexual desire for each other, but don’t immediately release it with kissing and sex.
When that happens, the sexual tension builds up to the point where they feel like they will burst if they don’t kiss and have sex.
In other words, they both want it, but it’s not happening right away.
Something is in the way (e.g. they are ex’s and she isn’t sure if she should do it right away, they are talking on the phone and live hours apart, they are in a café and can’t just start kissing or having sex right then and there).
So, from now on, use interactions with your ex to make her feel attracted to you again, but don’t ask for a relationship.
Make her feel so attracted and drawn to you again that she feels like she just has to have you.
One of the ways you can do that is by combining some flirting into ordinary conversations that you’re having with her.
For example: Imagine that you’re at a coffee shop with your ex and are talking about what each of you has been up to since the break up.
You might be saying something like, “Yeah, I’ve really been busy lately. Remember how I always talked about (mention a goal or activity you always wanted to accomplish that she knows about)? Well I’m now doing it and it’s even better than I thought it would be. How about you? What have you been up to?”
She might then tell you something that she’s been doing and you can then respond by saying, “Wow, that’s awesome! I’m really happy for you. By the way…you look sexy today and you smell great too.”
Then add, “Come on over here and let me get a whiff of that enticing perfume you’re wearing” and lean into her.
Lean in close to her neck area just under her ear and say, “Mmmm… that’s delicious!”
Then, pull away and continue on with the conversation as if nothing happened.
Do this (i.e. add flirting in between stages of normal conversation) several times throughout the meet up, to build up the sexual tension between you and her.
She will be feeling attracted to you, even if she tries to hide it or laugh it off.
BTW: In case you didn’t know, women love to be told that they smell great.
Some guys are worried about talking about how a woman smells, but when a woman hears, “Mmm, you smell great,” it makes her feel more sexually confident and open around you.
4. Slowly build up to a kiss to release some of the sexual tension
When you build up enough sexual tension between you and your ex, she will naturally want to release that tension with kissing and sex.
So, when you have done that, you can then say something along the lines of, “Well, it’s good to see that we can still get along well with each other, don’t you think? I think we deserve a hug for being such cool ex’s. Come over here and give me a hug” and then move towards her, open your arms and initiate a hug.
By this stage, she will likely be more than willing to release at least a bit of the sexual desire in her, so she will easily agree to a hug.
Then, once you have her in your arms, slowly and confidently pull back (while still hugging her) and give her a kiss as well.
In most ex back cases where sexual tension has been built up, a woman will respond positively to being kissed and you can then go to your place or hers to hook up sexually.
If she’s not willing to do more than kiss, don’t worry about it though.
The important thing is that you’ve broken down her walls of resistance, made her feel sexually attracted and opened her up to the idea of being a couple again.
You can then build on those feelings and get her back.
4 Mistakes Guys Make When Trying to Get an Ex to Reveal Her True Feelings
As you may now understand, it doesn’t matter whether or not your ex is being truthful about how she really feels about.
What matters is how you make her feel when you interact with her.
That is what matters.
That is what gets an ex back.
So, from now on, it’s essential that you don’t say or do things that will turn her off.
For example: Some of the ways guys mess up when in a situation like yours is…
1. Thinking that expressing his feelings will make her have feelings
A guy might sometimes say to his ex, “I know that it’s hard for you to express yourself, so I will tell you how I feel. If it makes it any easier for you, I want you to know that I still care for you, I still love you and really want you back. I really want to work things out with you. I love you more than anything.”
Essentially, he’s hoping she will then say something like, “Oh, then that changes everything! Now that I know you still care for me, I can open up and be honest with you too! I still love you and want you back too, but I’ve just been too shy to tell you. Thanks for being so brave and telling me first. Now we can now focus on getting back together again.”
Here’s the thing…
Although it would be nice if all you had to do was tell a woman how you feel and she would then love you and want you back, it just doesn’t work that way.
If a woman has disconnected from her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for a man, then him telling her about his feelings isn’t going to make her suddenly feel the same way about him.
So, if you want your ex to show you how she feels and want you back, don’t waste time discussing your feelings with her.
Instead, focus on making her feel respect and sexual attraction for the new, improved version of you, so that opening up to you happens because it feels like the right thing to do for her.
When you approach it that way, you don’t have to try to force an answer out of her that she doesn’t want to give.
Instead, you allow her to approach it in a way that is most comfortable for her (i.e. she goes with how she feels).
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Not understanding that she isn’t required to share her feelings if she doesn’t want to
Here’s the thing…
Even if a guy really loves a woman and wants to know exactly how she feels, she doesn’t actually have to tell him if she doesn’t want to.
It’s her decision and nothing he says and does can change that, because he doesn’t own her.
She can decide to tell him or not to tell him.
That’s how it works.
The same goes for a man.
A man doesn’t have to tell a woman how he feels if he doesn’t want to, because she doesn’t own him or control him.
In a relationship, if a man or a woman wants to express how they feel, they will do it if they want to, but trying to force it isn’t the right approach.
So, don’t make the mistake of expecting your ex to be truthful about how she really feels about you based on your need need to know.
If you approach it that way, she will probably close up even more and give you even less details just to show you that she makes her own decisions and can’t be controlled.
Another mistake that guys often make when in your shoes is…
3. Trying to make her feel guilty for not telling him the truth about her feelings
A guy might say to his ex woman, “Why are you being like this? All I’m asking for is some clarity so I can try to understand what happened. Doesn’t what we had together mean anything to you? If you felt even a little bit of love for me, you’d tell me how you really feel about me now. So, please tell me. I need to know. You can’t just leave me feeling clueless and never knowing how you really felt. Just tell me. You owe me an explanation. I deserve to know, rather than being left in the dark like this. After all we have been through together, I deserve to know.”
Although he might feel justified in asking her for an answer, the fact is that trying to make a woman feel guilty for not wanting to reveal her feelings rarely makes her change her mind and come clean.
Women hate it when men put too much pressure on them to open up (this is especially true when dealing with a guy that they’ve recently broken up with).
So, rather than trying to guilt your ex into revealing her true feelings for you (which even if it works, it doesn’t guarantee that she will tell you the truth and not just a lie that she hopes will get you off her back), simply focus on reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for you so she feels drawn to you again.
That’s how to get an ex back.
Another mistake that other guys make when in a situation like your is…
4. Getting angry with her and demanding an answer from her
If a woman doesn’t open up and tell her ex the truth about how she really feels, he might eventually lose his cool and get angry with her.
He might start shouting at her and saying things like, “Why are you being such a bitch to me?! All I’m asking for is an honest answer. Just tell me how you feel about me damnit! I deserve to know! Stop being so immature. Tell me how you feel! All I’m asking for is a simple answer. Tell me how you really feel about me!”
In cases like that, a guy doesn’t know how else to get his ex woman to open up, so he attempts to intimidate her into telling him what he wants to know.
Yet, that approach rarely works.
In fact, most women see the angry outburst as another reason to remain broken up.
A woman might then say to herself, “If I was confused about my feelings for him before, but now I know for sure he’s not the man for me. He’s crazy and if this is how he is behaving now, who knows what he would do to me at a later stage if things didn’t go his way. I need to get away from him as quickly as possible. I’ve got to move on and find a new guy.”
Alternatively, she might get angry in response to his angry and even though it might not be the truth, she might say something like, “Okay, you want to know how I really feel about you? Well I hate you and I never want to see you again! I never loved you. You mean nothing to me. So, don’t ever contact me again. If you do, I will get a restraining order out on you. There! Now you know exactly how I feel. I hope you’re happy. Goodbye!” and then end the phone call, or leave if they are talking in person.
So, if you want to get your ex back easily, don’t let your situation get to the point where both you and her get angry and say things you don’t mean or will regret later.
Instead, just focus on using an easier, stress free approach to getting her back.
Re-attract her, seduce her and make her want you back.
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