If you are looking for ways to build sexual tension with your ex, here is what you need to do.

1. Reactivate Her Feelings, But Don’t Try to Get Back With Her

Before you even think about hooking up with your ex sexually and getting her back for real, you first need to use every interaction that you have with her as an opportunity to reactivate her feelings of respect and sexual attraction.

If you don’t do that first, she won’t really be open to the idea of talking to you, meeting up with you or having sex with you again.

Instead, she will likely be saying things like, “Please stop contacting me. I just don’t have feelings for you anymore,” or “I can’t forget what happened between us. I just don’t think I can feel love or attraction for you again. It’s over okay.”

On the other hand, if you reactivate some of her feelings for you first and then build the sexual tension between you and her (e.g. via flirting, by making her laugh and smile), she simply won’t be able to stop herself from wanting you to release that desire inside of her.

Of course, right now you may be wondering, “How can I reactivate my ex’s feelings for me? What must I do?”

Watch this video for some examples…

The truth is, reactivating a woman’s feelings is actually pretty simple.

The main thing you need to do is to interact with her (e.g. via e-mail, text message, social media and most importantly, on the phone) to make her laugh, smile and feel happy and excited to be hearing from you again.

The more sexual attraction you make her feel during interactions, the more the sexual tension will build up between you and her.

So, when you ask her to meet up with you in person, or if you move in for a hug or kiss when you see her, she will be much more likely to go along with it and enjoy it.

What is sexual tension?

Sexual tension is where a man and a woman are attracted to each other, but there is a block or obstacle in between them having sex (e.g. they work together, he already has a girlfriend, they have just met in a bar and she’s not sure if it will look good to her friends if she goes home with him, so her friends are the block).

Sexual tension also happens with happy couples.

They flirt with each other in the morning before heading off to work for example and know that sex is going to happen that night, but there’s still an entire day ahead of them before it happens.

So, during the day, they are thinking about having sex with each other and the tension is building.

When they get home, they both have a cheeky smile on their face and the flirting continues.

Later that night, the sex happens and it’s a beautiful release of built up sexual tension.

The same principle of sexual tension applies with an ex.

You and her aren’t together anymore, so the block or obstacle is the imaginary notion that ex’s are supposed to remain broken up.

She probably doesn’t want to go back on her word when she said, “I don’t want to be with you anymore. It’s over” and she might not also want to disappoint her friends.

Whatever the case, there will be a block or obstacle in between you and her hugging, kissing, having sex and getting back into a relationship.

The block or obstacle is actually a perfect opportunity for you to create sexual tension by making her feel attracted during interactions, but not trying to get her back.

She then feels attracted to you and wonders why you don’t want her back, so you become the block.

Warning: Don’t play too hard to get though!

Remember that you are broken up and if you play too hard to get, she might just give up on you and move on.

Watch this video for more info…

It’s important that you actively make her feel sexually attracted to you and then have the confidence to just relax and know she is attracted and that you don’t have to rush to get her back.

Don’t leave it too long though.

After you’ve built up some sexual tension, just get her back.

She will be so happy to be in your arms again because it will be a huge release of exciting sexual tension.

Yet, most guys either don’t know how to do that or are too afraid to give her that experience in case she moves on.

For example: A guy calls his ex woman and says, “Hi Tanya…I just called to ask you if you would like to meet up for some coffee sometime. I need to talk to you about getting back together again.”

There’s no block or obstacle in between them wanting each other.

He’s saying that he wants a relationship, before he’s even made her feel any sexual desire or wanting for him.

As a result, he’s going to kill the sexual tension and she’s going to just close up and say, “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

On the other hand, if you say something like, “Hey Tanya…how you doing? I’m just enjoying a nice cappuccino here and it suddenly made me think of you.”

She will likely ask, “Why?”

She may even think to herself, “Oh, I bet he’s just saying that as a way of asking me out for coffee.”

You can then say in a joking way, “Well, I was remembering how every time you drank a cappuccino you managed to give yourself a foam mustache. You’re the only girl I know who could pull off a cappuccino mustache and still look good.”

At this point, she will probably be laughing and feeling a little self-conscious.

She’ll also be feeling some respect and attraction for you, for having the confidence to tease her in that way even though you and her have broken up.

You can then say, “Anyway, I thought I’d give you a call to say hi as a friend. How have you been ex girlfriend?”

Referring to her as “ex girlfriend” creates an obstacle between you and her.

She’s not your girlfriend anymore, so if she feels like she wants to be your girlfriend again or at least still be thought of as your girlfriend in your mind, it will create some sexual tension.

She will want to flirt with you, show you interest and make you want her again, so you stop thinking of her as your ex girlfriend.

In the process of trying to get you to want her again, she will naturally begin to think of you in a more positive light, focus on your good qualities and try to impress you.

This actually makes her fall back in love with you and want you again.

You become a challenge to her.

She wants to get the power back and if she has to meet up with you, make you want her and then try to break it off with you again, most women will do that.

Yet, she’s not going to break up with you again if you properly attract her at the meet up…

So, after you’ve built some sexual tension by flirting with her (e.g. telling her she looks good, even with a cappuccino mustache) and creating an obstacle (e.g. referring to her as your ex girlfriend), you can either end the phone call or suggest a meet up if you think she is ready.

If you think she is ready to meet up, you can say something like, “Anyway, I’ve got to go now, but how about we catch up and say hi in person sometime this week? Of course, it’s only as friends because I accept that you and I have broken up. I just want to see if you still look as cute as you used to with that foam mustache.”

She will most likely be laughing, smiling and enjoying the conversation with you, while at the same time, noticing that there’s a bit of flirting and teasing going on, which will be exciting to her.

Women know what flirting is and they love it when a guy has the confidence to do it, especially when they are being cold, distant or even mean towards him.

She will begin to think, “Talking to my ex actually feels good again. Maybe meeting for a cup of coffee isn’t such a bad idea. I actually want to see him. It seems like it might be kind of fun” and she will then agree to meet up.

As long as you focus on making her feel good feelings when she interacts with you (e.g. respect, attraction), without putting any pressure on her to get back together again, the idea of meeting up with you will be something she really wants to do.

2. Attract Her in Person, Hug Her, Kiss Her and Then Leave to Do Something Else You Had Planned

Build up the sexual tension and then leave

Another great way to build sexual tension with your ex, is to let her experience and feel attracted to the new and improved you in person and then leave, rather than hanging around until she says that you should go.

What you need to focus on in terms of attraction, will depend on what your ex broke up with you because of.

For example: If a guy got broken up with for being too emotionally sensitive and insecure, he needs to show her that he’s now emotionally strong and confident.

If she tries to test him by being cold and distant during conversation, rather than reacting like he might have in the past (e.g. get upset, give up on the idea of getting her back, plead with her for another chance), he instead remains relaxed and uses her coldness to build up the sexual tension (e.g. by playfully teasing her for being cold, making her laugh, playfully acting even colder than her).

Another example is if a woman broke up with a guy because he was too nice and she felt more emotionally dominant than him.

A good way to show her that he’s changed, while at the same time build sexual tension between them, is by standing up to her (in a loving way) when she tries to dominate him during conversation.

For example: If she says, “Don’t say another word” he then acts as though he is taking her seriously, covers his mouth with his hand, removes his hand and says, “I have to go take a piss…whoops, I wasn’t supposed to talk” and then have a laugh with her about that.

When she sees that he’s the one who is control of the situation, she naturally feels sexually attracted to him again.

That’s how it can work for you too.

When your ex sees that you’re being so confident, charismatic and emotionally masculine with her now, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling sexually attracted to you again.

Attraction happens automatically and isn’t something that either men or women can stop feeling for each other.

When traits are displayed that cause attraction, it just happens whether we want it to or not.

So, when she is attracted to you again and the sexual tension is building, you can say something like, “This coffee tastes great, but what would make it taste even better is if you come here and give me a hug.”

As long as you’ve been sparking her feelings of attraction for you during the interaction, she will most-likely laugh and say something along the lines of, “Oh really? Okay,” and she will come over to give you a hug.

When she’s in your arms, lean in and give her a kiss.

Then, when she’s feeling really exited and turned on and possibly even thinking, “I wonder where things are going to go from here. Maybe we’re going to have sex again!” you need to pull away and say something along the lines of, “Well, anyway…this has been fun, but unfortunately I’ve got to get going now. I’ve got an appointment that I can’t be late for. Let’s do this again though, okay? I’ll call you sometime. Bye,” and then leave.

Be casual and relaxed about it.

Don’t rush to leave and make it all weird.

Just have an appointment that you must go to and then leave to go and attend that.

Build up the sexual tension and then leave

Then, when you contact her again, she will be keen to meet up with you, hug, kiss and have sex to release the sexual feelings that have been building up inside of her.

3. Have Sex With Her, Blow Her Mind and Then Let Her Know That You Will Be Unavailable For the Next 3-4 Days Afterwards

If you successfully spark your ex’s feelings of respect and attraction at the first meet up, it is likely that the sexual tension between you and her will be quite intense.

Chances are high that she will even be the one who calls you and suggests you get together again (possibly even at her place).

When you meet up with her again, it’s up to you to continue building her feelings of desire, to the point where she simply can’t wait for you to release those feelings inside her via kissing and sex.

The way it works is that when you build up a woman’s sexual desire for you by creating sexual tension, she will feel as though she is going to explode if she doesn’t have sex with you.

I’ve dealt with ex back cases where the woman has even admitted to her ex guy that since interacting with him again, she has masturbated in the shower and in bed when thinking about having sex with him.

Your ex might not admit that, but women masturbate over actual sex that they can have with their existing man or with other men that they might fantasize about.

Of course, some modern women do look at porn, but the majority of women are fantasizers.

They just close their eyes and imagine sex happening and masturbate to that.

So, when you re-attract your ex, it’s highly likely that she will be masturbating to the idea of having sex with you again.

When you cause her to feel that way, she then wants to seduce you, rather than waiting around for you to take things to the next level with her.

That’s not the end of it though.

Once you finally release the sexual tension with sex and you blow her mind, pull back and don’t chase her for a relationship.

You can do that by saying something along the lines of, “This was great. I’ve really enjoyed being with you again. You’re sexier than ever. I’ve got to go now and I want you to know that I’m going to be caught up with a big project at work for the next 3 or 4 days, so I won’t be able to call you. When I’m finished, I’ll definitely give you a call so that we can catch up again.”

Then leave and don’t call her for a few days to build the sexual tension with her even more.

Remember: She will be sitting at home replaying all the great moments she shared with you, thinking about how much you’ve changed as a man and remembering how great the sex between you and her was.

When she gets into bed at night, she will almost certainly masturbate about you and imagine having sex with you again.

By the time you contact her again, she will be desperate to see you and from there, getting her back into a relationship with you will be something she will be hoping for as much as you.

Make Sure You Don’t Make These Classic Mistakes

As you can see, building sexual tension with your ex is actually pretty easy.

As long as you focus on sparking her feelings of attraction every time you interact with her (e.g. on a phone call and especially in person) and then pull away a little bit, your ex will be at boiling point in no time.

Where some guys go wrong though, is by making the following mistakes…

1. Thinking that romantic gestures will build up sexual tension when there is no sexual attraction to begin with

Sometimes, a guy might make the mistake of thinking that romance equals sexual tension.

He might even say to himself, “I’ve seen how women react in romantic movies. All the guy needs to do is buy her flowers and arrange a romantic, candle-lit dinner and by the end of the evening she is so sexually turned on that she just can’t keep her hands off him. So, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to romance my ex with flowers, dinners and gifts, until the sexual tension between us reaches boiling point and she can’t keep her hands off me.”

Yet, what a guy like that usually doesn’t understand is that even though he means well, romance only works if the sexual attraction is mutual.

If she doesn’t feel sexually attracted to him anymore, she might appreciate his romantic gestures, but it’s not going to make her feel sexually attracted to him.


He’s trying to build sexual tension with her with traits such as niceness, politeness and gentlemanly behavior, which don’t even make a woman feel sexually attracted and turned on.

A woman only feels cares for those nice traits if he has reactivated her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for first.

So, if you want to build sexual tension with your ex, don’t waste time making grand romantic gestures in the hopes that this will make her throw herself back in your arms like women do in the movies, music videos or romance novels.

Instead, just build up the sexual tension with her by triggering her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you, but don’t try to get her back right away.

Then, you will most likely get a text, call or social media message from her telling you that she wants to see you again.

If she’s shy or likes to play hard to get, she might just send you a, “Hey” text or, “How are you?” which is code for, “I miss you. Get me to meet up with you.”

From there, you can meet up with her again and get her back.

Another classic mistake is…

2. Trying to build up sexual tension with text messages and e-mails

Sometimes, a guy will waste a lot of time texting or e-mailing his ex in the hope that it will gradually make her want him (i.e. the sexual tension will build).

Yet, if he doesn’t do anything to spark her feelings for him first, it’s unlikely that a woman will feel seduced by what a man has to say via text or e-mail.

In most cases, she will just be feeling annoyed and wondering, “What does he want? Why is he texting me/e-mailing me all the time?”

Here’s the thing…

When a woman can’t hear the tone of your voice, or experience your confidence, she can only guessing at your state of mind when you sent the text or e-mail.

In most cases, she’s going to be thinking of you the way you used to be before (e.g. insecure, needy, self-doubting), not the way you are now (e.g. confident, emotionally masculine, determined).

So, if you want to build sexual tension with your ex, you’ve got to get her on a phone call with you, where you can get her smiling, laughing and feeling good to be talking to you again and let her experience the new you.

Then, arrange a time to catch up in person.

In person, you will be able to fully reactivate her feelings of sexual attraction for you by flirting with her, making her smile and laugh and showing her that you’re now a very different man than the one you were before.

You can create real, exciting sexual tension that both you and her want to release by kissing and having sex again.

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