You can choose either option, but there are both good and bad consequences either way. 

For example: 

1. If you ignore her too much, she might seek revenge by hooking up with a new guy 

In most cases, a woman won’t make it easy for her ex to get her back.

So, if a woman takes the risk of texting her ex after a breakup, she’s effectively giving him the chance to reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for him and get her back.

However, if her ex doesn’t use that opportunity and instead ignores her texts, she will likely feel rejected by him.

She may then begin thinking things like, “How dare he ignore me! He should be thanking me for being so nice to him after the way he treated me in the relationship. Well, if he wants to be a jerk, that’s fine by me. I definitely don’t need him. I can easily find myself a new man who will appreciate me.”

She will then open herself to meeting new men (e.g. by going out to clubs or bars with her girlfriends, or using a dating app like Tinder) and hooking up with them to get revenge on her ex for ignoring her.

So, if you don’t want that kind of reaction from your ex and prefer to get her back, then the answer to your question: “Should I reply to my ex’s texts or ignore her?” is, “Yes,” you should reply to her.

That doesn’t mean you should respond to everything she sends you right away and come across as desperate or as though you’re just sitting around and don’t have a life.

Instead, you should respond to her when you have the time.

When you respond, you should text something that will spark her feelings and make her want to talk to you over the phone and see you in person.

Don’t text the usual, “Hey, how are you? How was your day?” kind of stuff, because that won’t make her feel drawn to you.

Instead, use humor to get her smiling and laughing and thinking things like, “He seems so funny and interesting. I hope he’s going to call me. I really want to talk to him.”

However, at the end of the day, if you want her back, you’re going to have to move past texting and get to a call and then a meetup with her, so that you can fully reactivate her feelings for you.

When you do that, her defenses naturally come down and then the idea of being your girl again starts to feel good to her.

Another possible outcome might be…

2. If you reply and turn her off, she might lose interest 

Texting is one of the most common and preferred forms of communication between people in the 21st century, yet it’s actually not that effective in getting an ex back.


Although texting between a couple is perceived as cute and even romantic, when it comes to ex’s texting back and forth, it allows for too many misunderstandings and mistakes.

For example: A woman might text her ex to say “Hi,” and he might innocently respond with something like, “Hey! I haven’t heard from you in a while. Where have you been?”

Yet, even though from his point of view he’s just being curious, his ex might not see it that way.

Instead, she may misinterpret his question and think something along the lines of, “How dare he ask me where I’ve been? He’s not the boss of me! I knew I should have resisted texting him in the first place. Now I’m stuck with him trying to run my life.” 

Alternatively, the guy might respond in a boring, mundane, unimpressive way (e.g. he tells her about his dull day at work).

As a result, she assumes that he’s stuck in a rut in his life and possibly even moping because of their break up and she instinctively feels turned off by him.

However, he might actually have plans to go out to a club or a party with friends, or he’s really busy making progress on his big goals and dreams in life.

However, if he doesn’t bring that across to her in his texts, she will usually think the worst of him (i.e. because she’s basing her opinion on how she remembers him leading up to and during the break up, not on who he has become since).

So, if you don’t want to turn your ex off by texting her something she might misinterpret, only text her as a way of getting her on a call with you.

On a phone call, a woman can sense whether you’ve changed based on the tonality of your voice and how you are now talking to her, responding to her and reacting to what she says.

For example: If a guy was insecure in his relationship with a woman and became clingy, needy and jealous as a result, his ex might test to see if he’s really changed by telling him that she’s been having a lot of fun without him, or that there are many guys interested in dating her now that they’ve broken up.

Depending on his response (i.e. he remains confident vs. he gets upset), she will instantly know if he’s changed or not; something she can’t do that well via text.

This is why, it’s so much better to just get on a call with your ex and begin re-attracting her for real, rather than wasting time texting back and forth and risk turning her off as a result.

Just remember: On the phone call, use some humor to break down her defenses right away and make her feel open to talking to you even more.

Then, build on her feelings for you (e.g. by maintaining your confidence with her regardless of what she says or does to make you feel unsure of yourself with her, showing her via your conversation and your response to her that you’ve become a better man, flirting with her to create some sexual tension between you) and get her to agree to catch up with you in person.

At the meet up focus on fully reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for you.

Her guard will then naturally come down and she becomes open to interacting with you over the phone and in person more often to see if you and her can rebuild your relationship again.

3. If you ignore some texts, but not others, she might start playing hard to get and you may then lose confidence 

Sometimes a guy hopes that if he’s a little bit unpredictable in the way he responds to his ex’s texts, she will:

  1. Perceive him as being more valuable than she originally thought and she will then start to feel lucky to get him back.
  2. Regret her decision to break up with him.
  3. Want him even more.

However, that approach almost always backfires and he completely misses out on the opportunity to talk to her over the phone and then meet up with her in person to reactivate her feelings.

Here’s the thing…

When a woman opens herself up to interacting with her ex again after a breakup, she’s basically giving him a chance to show her that he’s moved past the level that he was at when she broke up with him.

However, if he doesn’t use the opportunity to make her smile and laugh and then get her on a phone call and to a meetup and instead begins to play hard to get, she might begin thinking things like, “I was nice enough to text him to see how he is doing and this is how he treats me? If he thinks I’m going to put up with that, he can think again. Wait until I give him a dose of his own medicine and see how he likes it! What a jerk!”

She might then…

  • Ignore him back if he texts her or tries to contact her via social media.
  • Refuse to answer her phone if he tries to call her.
  • Block his number or unfriend him on social media.
  • Show interest via text to give him some hope that she’s open to the idea of getting back together again and then when he tries to call her or get her to meet up with him, she responds in an icy, disdainful way and says something like, “I hope you don’t think I’m interested in getting back with you? Haha! That’s so sweet and naïve of you.” 

It then becomes so much more difficult for him to interact with her so that he can reactivate her feelings for him and get her back.

As a result, he loses out on the perfect opportunity to get her back.

So, if you truly want to get your ex back and have a happy, loving relationship with her, don’t waste time playing mind games with her.

Instead, focus on doing whatever you can to reactivate some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you, so she wants to talk to you over the phone and then see you in person.

When you approach the ex back process in that way, things tend to flow more smoothly because she is feeling open to you and attracted to you.

On the other hand, if you waste time playing hard to get, you simply make your own life more miserable, especially if your ex decides to give you a dose of your own medicine by playing mind games with you.

4. If you reply and turn her on, she might then want to catch up in person

One of the fastest ways to start the ex back process with an ex woman, is to reply to her texts with humor.

Humor will make her smile, laugh and feel happy to be hearing from you.

When she is laughing and smiling, it becomes a lot more difficult for her to think about you in a negative way.

So, if you decide to reply to your ex’s texts, using humor is one of the best approaches, because it will automatically bring down her guard and make her feel attracted again.

She will then likely start thinking things like, “Wow, he sounds so different now. What has gotten into him? I wonder what else about him has changed. Maybe it would be nice to talk to him on the phone again, or see him in person.”

So, don’t be afraid to text her back and use humor.

The more you do that, the more she will begin to look forward to your texts.

Important: Just because your ex responds positively to your initial text messages, don’t make the mistake of getting caught up just texting back and forth with her.

No matter how enjoyable it might initially be for her to receive your replies, if you don’t progress to a phone call and then a meetup, chances are high that she will eventually lose interest.

By the way…

She may initially respond to your humor by sending a rolling eyes emoji to act unimpressed, or a smiley face with a tongue sticking out.

Essentially, she’s checking to see if you’ll remain confident and then take action to get her back, or if you’ll become unsure of yourself and start thinking things like, “Using humor was a mistake. She hated it,” and then start sucking up to her instead (which by the way turns her off).

This is why you shouldn’t just stick to text.

Instead, you need to show her that you have the balls to call her and make her laugh over the phone.

Get her on a call so she can sense the new and more confident, emotionally stronger version of you is for real.

When she notices that you really are at a different level now than when you and her broke up, her guard will naturally come down and she will become more open to meeting up with you in person to see what happens.

It then becomes easy for you to fully reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you and guide her back into a relationship with you.

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