If a woman has broken up with you, but you want to get her back and have her commit to a serious relationship, keep the following 9 tips in mind:
1. She won’t be interested in committing before experiencing a new kind of attraction and desire for you
She’s already been with you and got bored of it.
If you want her to commit to a serious relationship, you have to be willing to approach attraction in a new way, so she feels a new kind of attraction and desire for you.
For example: If a guy was too nice, he is now more of a challenge, or is at least more assertive in a loving way.
If a guy was too neutral and therefore, made his ex feel more like a buddy or friend, he is now more flirtatious so she feels sexual tension and wants to be with him sexually.
If a guy was too serious about everything and always wanted to discuss the relationship in detail, he is now easygoing and doesn’t take things so seriously.
Instead, he focuses on making her laugh, smile and feel good when interacting with him.
As a result, she feels differently about him and realizes that if she got back with him, it really would be different this time around.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t realize that when trying to get an ex back, or to get her to commit to a relationship.
For example: Sometimes a guy will make the mistake of giving his ex woman reasons why they should be together (e.g. he promises to change, he reminds her that their friends/family think they are good together, he says that the relationship has mostly been good apart from a few challenges).
Yet, that doesn’t make her feel a new kind of attraction and desire for him, so she doesn’t feel motivated to give him another chance.
In other cases, a guy will simply behave like he always has, or like he did leading up to the break up (e.g. be nice and sweet towards her, allow her call the shots and lead the dynamic between them, act more like a friend than a man who finds her sexy and attractive).
As a result, she doesn’t feel inspired to give him another chance because she can tell that it will be the same old relationship dynamic that she became bored of.
2. Interact with her, re-attract her, but don’t try to get her back
When you re-attract an ex woman and then don’t push for a relationship, it makes you seem like an interesting, exciting challenge for her.
In almost all cases, a woman will suddenly feel an urge to turn on her charms to make you show that you really do want her back.
For example: She might…
- Put in extra effort to look attractive to impress you.
- Be more flirtatious around you (e.g. touch you, be girly in her behavior, show signs of submissiveness, give you more compliments than usual).
- Treat you as good as she did back when you and her first fell in love.
- Send you playful text messages, or want to talk more often over the phone.
- Touch, hug or kiss you more often.
In the process of turning on her charms to make you show that you really do want her back, a woman unknowingly makes herself fall for you again.
You become her obsession and she knows that she just has to get you back, or else she will end up missing you and regretting it.
As a result, she then starts being the one who wants a committed relationship, without you having to pressure her into it.
3. Understand why pushing for commitment makes women put their guard up
Women aren’t attracted to desperation or neediness, so when you push for a relationship, it automatically turns her off.
It doesn’t matter how good your intentions are.
This is about attraction.
If you behave in a way that is unattractive, she won’t feel attracted.
So, only approach the ex back process in a way that is attractive and appealing to her.
If you do that, she will willingly get back into a committed relationship with you.
4. Get her to agree to be friends and then use the friendship to re-attract her
Most women don’t reject an ex’s offer to remain friends, as long as the woman can sense that the guy isn’t being needy, or desperate about it.
When your ex agrees to be friends and the lines of communication remain open between you and her, it then becomes a perfect way to re-attract her.
Rather than just interacting with her like a friend (i.e. being neutral, non-flirtatious, nice, helpful), you interact with her like a guy who is hitting on her and picking her up for the very first time.
In other words, you display confidence, flirt with her, use playfully challenging humor, be assertive in a loving way, be charismatic, charming and so on.
She then feels sparks of sexual attraction for you and when that happens, she begins to feel romantic attraction as well.
She realizes that her feelings for you aren’t dead and that, if she doesn’t get back with you, she will end up feeling rejected and left behind if you move on with a new, attractive woman.
5. Don’t be afraid to let her see you be confident and happy without her
Sometimes a guy will fear that if he seems happy without his ex, she will get upset and begin hooking up with new men as revenge.
Alternatively, he worries that she’ll assume he is over her and therefore, will move on herself.
Yet, what a guy like that usually doesn’t understand is that women feel attracted to men for different reasons, than men feel attracted to women.
Women feel attracted to things such as emotional independence (i.e. a guy being confident, happy and forward moving in life with or without her) and feel turned off by emotional dependence (i.e. a guy needing to be with her to feel okay about himself).
So, when a woman senses that her ex is lonely, lost and sad without her, it doesn’t make her think, “Wow! He’s so loyal! He must be the one!”
Instead, she honestly starts to look at him as a bit of a loser and feels grateful for dumping him when she did.
Don’t let that happen to you.
If you want your ex to feel like committing to a serious relationship, you’ve got to motivate her via attraction.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking she’ll get back with you out of pity, or because you’ve been avoiding having fun out of loyalty to her.
Her feelings of attraction are what count now.
Women don’t feel attracted to men who seek pity because that is a sign of emotional dependence and weakness.
Women aren’t attracted to weakness.
6. Don’t make the mistake of cutting off contact to get a commitment
Cutting off contact sometimes works on a woman who is still in love with her ex.
He stops contacting her after she dumps him and she regrets it and gives him another chance.
That does sometimes happen.
However, it doesn’t always happen, even if the woman is still in love because she can take it as a sign that he’s not interested anymore.
So, she then begins moving on by dating new men, rather than risking contacting her ex and being rejected by him.
How about you?
Is your ex still in love with you?
If not, then she’s almost certainly not going to care if you don’t contact her.
She will only care if you re-attract her.
When you re-attract her, she then begins to reconnect with her romantic love for you and that is what makes her want a committed relationship, or at least to give the relationship another chance to see what happens.
7. After re-attracting her, let her know that you accept the breakup and don’t expect anything from her
You can say something like, “I just want you to know that I accept the breakup and don’t expect anything from you. I do love you, but we’re obviously not meant to be otherwise you’d want to get back with me.”
At that moment, she will realize something.
She does want to get back with you.
You re-attracted her first before saying that.
Now it seems like she is going to lose you, if she doesn’t give you another chance.
Now she is going to lose something that actually means something to her.
As a result, her defenses come down and she opens back up to a relationship with you.
8. Don’t make her feel like she holds all the cards
For example: A guy idolizes his ex girlfriend and believes that she is way better than him, or more valuable than him.
As a result, he feels lucky to have been with her in a relationship and really doesn’t feel worthy of her.
She senses it, which then makes her treat him with less care and respect than she would, if he were to be confident, believe in himself and feel worthy of her.
She also begins to look down on him and perceive him as being a low value guy, even though he’s not.
He is good enough for her, but he has convinced himself that he isn’t.
He’s also made her feel that way, based on his behavior, conversation style and actions when around her.
Don’t let that happen to you.
Get her to see you as a high value guy that she will regret losing.
You make her sense it based on how much respect, attraction and love you generate inside of her from moment to moment.
If you know how to re-attract your ex and make her want you, then it will be easy to get her back.
Yet, if you’re just trying to get along with her, or figure things out with a discussion, then she will almost certainly continue to reject you and move on without you.
So, make sure that you re-attract her properly, so she is keen to give you another chance.
You will most likely then get back into a relationship right away.
However, if you don’t, then after properly re-attracting her…
9. Seduce her into having sex with you one last time, rather than asking for a relationship commitment
This is actually quite easy to do because most women will have sex with a recent ex (e.g. out of familiarity, she trusts him sexually, no-one has to find out about it, it feels naughty to hook up with an ex, she wants to see how she feels afterward, it’s just some sex and isn’t a commitment to a relationship).
So, if she is feeling attracted and things seem to be going well, invite her back to your place, or go to her place and hook up sexually.
Make sure that you are more confident than usual, so she feels more attracted and enjoys the sex more as a result.
After the sex, don’t try to push for a relationship.
Just let her enjoy her new, improved feelings for you and begin wanting you back for her own reasons (e.g. so she doesn’t end up feeling rejected, dumped or left behind if you meet a new, attractive woman and move on with her instead).
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