Getting your ex to forgive you is an essential part of getting her back, because forgiveness brings down her guard and makes her become open to feeling respect and attraction for you once again.
Just because your ex has broken up with you, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get her back…even if she’s saying, “I don’t want to see you again,” or even, “I will never forgive you. We are finished!”
Essentially, you need to ask her to forgive you by saying something like, “I’m not asking for you to take me back. I just want you to be able to forgive me, so that both of us can feel better about what happened between us and about the break up from now on.”
If she says no, just tell her that forgiving you will make her feel better about the break up and will ensure that both of you don’t carry any unnecessary baggage into your next relationship.
Also tell her that forgiving each other is what mature people do when they break up, because it’s the easiest way to get over someone and move on.
Wait a Minute!
Does that mean your ex will get over you and move on?
It’s a technique that I learnt from studying psychology, which will actually make her become open to taking you back again.
When she sincerely forgives you (don’t let her just say that she forgives you, but not actually forgive you), she will begin to let go of the hate, anger, resentment and disappointment she felt for you.
When she does that (don’t worry – it happens naturally when a person forgives another person), she will then become open to feeling a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
After she forgives you, all you need to do is begin showing her the new and improved you when you talk to her on the phone and interact with her in person.
Don’t try to show her the new you via text – it doesn’t work.
If you want to get your ex to forgive you and become open to taking you back, you must go through that process by talking to her on the phone and meeting her in person.
You cannot accomplish it via text, so don’t even waste your time sending her long-winded messages or sending her texts about the good old times that you and her once shared together.
Your ex is only going to take you seriously when you are able to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you when she interacts with you on the phone and in person.
Getting Her Back
When your ex begins to feel a renewed sense of respect for you as a man, she will also naturally start to feel attraction for you and this will then lead to her opening up to loving you again.
If you want to know how to get your ex to forgive you and take you back, here is what you have to do:
1. Understand Her Real Reasons for Breaking Up With You
When a woman breaks up with a guy, she will rarely tell him the real reasons she is doing it. Why?
It’s a woman’s natural instinct to protect herself, so when she breaks up with a guy, she is going to take the safest way out possible to protect herself from the possibility of him physically hurting her if things get out of hand.
For example: A woman would rather say, “I just need some space,” or “Right now things aren’t working out between us but maybe sometime in the future we can give it another go,” rather than just come out and say that she’s lost respect and attraction for him because he isn’t enough of a man for her.
So, if you want to get your ex to forgive you and take you back, your first step is to understand her real reasons for breaking up with you (not the sweet excuses she used when she broke up with you).
Watch this video for some examples…
When you fully understand the real reasons why your ex broke up with you, you will then be able to make the correct changes to your behavior, conversation style and how you treat her, which will then make her see you in a new, more favorable light.
She will feel more at ease and open when she interacts with you again, because she will notice that you have been making the changes that she really wanted you to make all along.
When she likes what she sees and begins to feel understood, her respect and attraction for you as a man will naturally begin to return.
On the other hand, if you don’t fully understand what caused her to ask for a break up, you will most likely end up trying to change the wrong things about yourself.
For example: A woman might have felt that her man was being too clingy and insecure in the relationship, but he is saying, “I love you and I’ll do anything for you. I promise that no one will ever come between us. I will always put you first.”
Although he might believe that he is making her feel loved and secure, if she already perceives him as being clingy and needy, saying those things will only make her feel even more smothered and she will be even less interested in taking him back.
If you want to get your ex back, you’ve got to be offering her what she really wants, not what you think she might want.
If you are trying to get her back by offering her the wrong things, she will feel misunderstood and the lack of respect and attraction she feels towards you will only increase.
2. Begin to Truly Improve and Fix Those Things About Yourself
Understanding what caused your ex to break up with you is one thing, but if you don’t actually make the effort to improve and fix those things about yourself, it’s unlikely that she will want to take you back.
To get your ex to forgive you and take you back, you have to make her feel respect and attraction for you again as a man.
If she interacts with you and doesn’t feel a spark, she will not be open to the idea of getting back together with you again because it will feel as though she’s doing you a favor.
To want to take you back, she will need to see that you have made an effort to fix the emotional issues (e.g. insecurity, clinginess, commitment issues, jealousy) that were turning her off.
For example: A common reason for a break up is when a woman feel as though her guy doesn’t have much direction in life and is lacking drive and ambition.
By setting some long-term goals for himself, working towards getting a promotion at work, or enrolling in a university to improve his level of education, he can show her that he has truly changed and improved.
When she sees that he has genuinely made an effort to improve himself in the ways that really matter to her, her guard will naturally come down.
As long as you start working on and improving any emotional issues you might have, not only will that make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you as a man, but you will also be making yourself an even better man than you are right now.
Going through the process of getting an ex back is a life-changing experience for a man, so you should see this as a double opportunity to improve your life and get her to take you back.
You have a choice right now to either continue feeling sad, rejected and lonely or stand up and become an even better man that you are right now so that your ex feels respect and attraction for you and so that the rest of your life improves as well.
3. Apologize for Your Mistakes
Apologizing to your ex for making mistakes in the relationship is not only a nice gesture, it is also a way of letting her feel heard and understood.
However, some common mistake guys make include:
- Rushing into an apology before he has fully understood what he did wrong.
If you apologize to your ex before you have fully understood what went wrong in the relationship, it will only make your ex feel like you’re not listening to her once again.
Apologies are important to start the forgiveness process in the relationship, but again, only if you’re offering her what she really wants, not just saying what you think she wants to hear so that she will forget about what happened and give you a second chance.
- Taking the blame for everything in the relationship and therefore putting himself at her “mercy.”
Putting her in a position of power over you simply makes her look down on you and feel even less respect for you as a man.
You should show her respect, but you also have to make sure that she can feel respect for you too.
Women don’t respect guys who beg, plead and hand over their power in the hope of gaining pity from a woman.
Relationships are never one sided and your apology should never put you in a position of weakness.
She would have made some mistakes in the relationship too, so remind her that she isn’t perfect either.
Tell her that all people learn and grow throughout life and it’s completely normal for a couple to experience some problems and then forgive each other after a break up.
- Making promises that he will do anything she wants him to do if she will forgive him.
Making promises that are difficult or impossible for you to keep may get you your ex back in the short-term, but sooner or later she will realize that nothing about you has really changed and she will break up with you once again.
- Apologizing via text message and not in person (or at least over the phone).
If your ex currently hates you, or at least has negative feelings towards you, getting a text message from you – even if it’s an apology – will not be perceived in a positive light.
A text message cannot convey to her your sincerity, love, confidence, charm, sense of humor or any of the positive changes you have made to yourself since the break up.
So naturally she will fill in the blanks by guessing that you’re just sending her a text to attempt to get on her good side in the hopes that she will forgive you.
If you plan on texting your ex, do so only to arrange a suitable time to get her on the phone, where you can then make her feel respect and attraction for you by apologizing for your past mistakes and then allowing her to hear and to experience your confidence through your emotionally secure tone of voice (which will attract her).
4. Ask Her if She is Willing to Forgive You
Without forgiveness, your ex will remain emotionally closed off from you.
Once you have apologized to her for your mistakes, it is important to ask her to forgive you.
When asking her if she is willing to forgive you, do not position it as though you expect her to then take you back after forgiving you.
For example, say: “I’m not asking for you to take me back. I just want you to be able to forgive me, so that both of us can feel better about what happened between us and about the break up from now on.”
Once a woman forgives you, she then begins to lower her guard and open back up to you, especially if you are now able to make her feel much more respect and attraction for you when you interact with her.
Reminder: Do not ask for forgiveness via text. It does not work. You have to get your ex back by talking to her on the phone and in person, not via text.
If your ex currently doesn’t feel much or any attraction, love or respect for you, a text will never, ever fix that. Only when she hears the sincerity in your voice and can sense that you really have changed, will she then begin to bring down her guard and be more open with you.
5. Get Her to Agree to One “Final” Meet Up
Once you have apologized and gotten her to forgive you, ask her for one “final” (don’t worry it won’t be) meet up.
At this point, your new attitude and conversation style will have shocked her (in a good way) out of her current state of mind and beliefs about you, and she will be feeling curious to meet up with you to see what else has changed about you.
When you see her in person, you have to keep building on her feelings by showing her that you’re the kind of man she can genuinely respect and look up to.
6. Make Her Feel a Renewed Sense of Respect and Attraction for You in Person
The key to getting your ex to forgive you and take you back is regaining her attraction and respect for you in person.
When you meet up with her in person, regaining her respect and attraction is the main thing you have to focus on. If you do that, her feelings for you will begin to come back and she will relax and open up.
When you see her in person, display the confidence, charm and humor that first attracted her to you. Be positive, talk confidently and allow her to experience the new and improved version of you.
By presenting yourself in a way that makes her feel differently, she will naturally begin thinking differently about you, and the more her respect and attraction for you grows, the more her guard will drop, and the more open to getting back together with you again she will become.
Love Doesn’t Die
As you may have realized by now, it is possible to get your ex to forgive you and take you back.
If you and your ex experienced love together in the past, it is still there in the background.
If you really have changed, you will be able to renew her feelings of respect and attraction for you and she begin to reconnect with the love she used to feel for you.