To get your ex to open up to you again, you need to completely stop doing the things that close her off.
For example, some of the things that will cause her to remain closed off to you, include:
1. Being insecure while talking to her
All women, including ex’s who are closed off to you, respond positively to a man’s confidence.
A man’s confidence attracts women just like a woman’s cleavage attracts us.
We can’t help but feel some attraction when we see tits on display like that and women can’t help but feel some attraction when a guy is being confident, especially when she is being closed off.
It takes real balls to remain confident and emotionally strong when the woman you love is being closed off to you.
So, when you are confident around her no matter what she says or does, she will naturally feel respect and attraction for you and will start to open up.
She may test to see if your confidence is real by continuing to act closed off, but if you can continue to remain confident and emotionally strong, the effect of attraction will make her open up.
Her opening up may just be that she is open to texting you again, talking on the phone or catching up in person.
You have to see that as a sign that she is open to getting back with you, as long as you have the confidence to keep guiding her back into a relationship.
However, if all you’ve got for her is a whole bunch of insecurity and self-doubt, she’s not going to feel attracted and therefore, will not open up to you again.
Women aren’t attracted to insecurity because it makes them feel as though they wouldn’t be safe with the guy and would need to protect themselves and be strong to handle the challenges of life.
Women want a confident, emotionally strong man who remains strong no matter what life or a woman throws at him.
It’s not about being arrogant and acting tough.
Instead, it’s just about remaining confident, relaxed, easy-going and emotionally strong, regardless of what she says or does.
If you can do that, she will absolutely feel some respect and attraction for you, even if she acts like she isn’t.
Another thing that will keep her closed off is…
2. Trying to suck up to her
Sometimes, when a woman is refusing to open up to her ex, he may think, “I need to be on my best behavior around her. I can’t say or do anything that might upset her, or she will close up even more. She may even not want to talk to me ever again. I can’t afford to annoy her and lose my last chance at getting her back.”
He might then try to stay on her good side when he’s interacting with her, by behaving in ways that he thinks will please her.
For example: A guy might offer to run errands for her, be a friend that she can talk to and even help her financially.
He might also become very nice, polite, considerate and caring, in the hopes that she will think, “Oh my, isn’t he so sweet now? I’d be stupid not to get back with him! No other guy would treat me this well.”
Yet, that’s not how women work.
Instead, she might just take advantage of his generosity and get him to buy her presents, be extra nice to her and make her feel good about herself, while she secretly tries to find a replacement guy to move on with.
Then, soon enough, she says something like, “Look, there’s something I need to tell you. I’m with someone else now. We’re really happy together and it’s serious, so I want you to respect that and leave me alone.”
He is then left devastated and she laughs to herself and moves on, feeling good about herself because she is wanted by two men and has left one of them completely heartbroken.
Don’t do that to yourself.
Be a good man, but don’t suck up to her.
Sucking up, groveling, being Mr. Nice Guy or Mr. Fix it who helps her with everything is not the way to make a woman love you again.
You’ve got to start by making her feel respect and attraction for you first.
Once you do that, her guard will come down and she will open back up to you again.
3. Letting her bring up your mistakes over and over again
It’s fine to talk about your mistakes and apologize, but it’s not good to allow that discussion to happen over and over again.
For example: A guy might allow his ex to justify being closed off to him by continually talking about how bad of a boyfriend (or husband) he was.
She might say to him, “Why are you even bothering talking to me? You stuffed up so many times that I can’t believe that you can actually look me in the eye right now. You should be embarrassed. I was a saint to put up with you for as long as I did. I don’t even know why I’m talking to you again. I should just block you from my phone and choose never see you again after what you did. I can’t believe how immature you were. You treated me like crap. I didn’t deserve to be put through all that. I don’t want you back and no other woman is going to want you either. You are the worst of the worst.”
Even though the guy might be thinking, “She’s right, I did stuff up badly. I deserve this,” if he lets her talk to him like that, it will only make her lose even more respect for him.
What should he do instead?
Watch this video for the answer…
She can forgive you and open up to you again, but that’s not going to happen if you let her keep bringing up your mistakes and making a big deal about it.
Get to the point where she realizes that it has been said and there’s no need to keep repeating herself, otherwise she just looks silly.
If you let her dominate you and make you listen to her rants over and over again, she won’t be able to look up to you and respect you and as a result, she won’t be able to feel sexually attracted to you either.
So, if your ex keeps bringing up all your past mistakes and talking to you like you’re a naughty little boy who needs to be punished, you need to show her that you’re not that guy anymore and that she needs to stop treating you like that.
4. Acting like an innocent friend
If you want your ex to open up to you again, you have to make her feel respect and sexual attraction for you, not nice, friendly emotions.
Sometimes, a guy will try to get his ex girlfriend (or wife) back by pretending that he’s only interested in being her neutral friend, which will cause the woman to remain closed up because there’s no sexual attraction and respect to make her feel motivated to want to be close to him, kiss him, have sex and open up again emotionally.
So, if you want to get your ex to open up to you again, don’t let your insecurities make you act like a friend who isn’t allowed to flirt with her and make her feel attracted and don’t let her dominate you with her confident personality.
It’s totally fine to be her friend, but just don’t be an innocent friend who isn’t interested in her sexually or romantically.
5. Trying to convince her to give you another chance
When a woman breaks up with a guy, one of his first reactions will usually be to try and convince her to give him another chance.
For example: He might say to her, “Please forgive me. I care about you so much. For the sake of the love we shared, please just give me one more chance to make things right between us.”
If she then responds by saying, “Forget it. Nothing can convince me to get back with you again,” he may get upset and feel like she’s being stubborn and just won’t open up to him.
Yet, what a guy like that doesn’t realize is that the woman isn’t being stubborn or closed off because she is selfish or mean.
Instead, she’s just reacting to the lack of respect and sexual attraction she feels for him based on the approach that he’s using.
Trying to convince a woman to open up and give you another chance doesn’t turn her on make her feel attracted and drawn to you.
6. Expecting her to want to be with you again because the relationship used to feel great
When a guy wants a woman to have feelings for him again, he’ll often try to get her to focus on all the good times they shared, in the hopes that she realizes how much she will miss being with him.
For example: If a woman keeps pushing a man away and saying things like, “It’s over, there’s nothing left between us,” he might respond by saying something like, “How can you say that? We used to love each other so much. I admit that our relationship didn’t turn out the way we initially intended, but we did love each other before. We managed to stay together through some rough times, like back when I lost my job. No matter what happened, we always had a laugh together. I mean, what about that time we went skinny dipping at the beach…that was so much fun. So, why are you only letting yourself focus on the bad stuff? What about the good things we shared? Don’t they make up for some of the bad times? I think that if we had to measure the good times we had vs. the bad times, you would see that it was good most of the time.”
Unfortunately, as sensible an argument as that may be, it’s usually not enough to make a woman spontaneously change her mind and say, “Oh yes, I remember now! Okay, since we had more good times than bad ones we can get back together now. Thanks for reminding me!”
Instead, by pointing out how good things were at the start, it simply highlights to her how bad things got in the end.
7. Feeling entitled to her love or to a relationship because you’re a good man and you really do love her
In some cases, a man simply cannot understand how or why his woman could dump him and not want to be with him anymore.
He feels entitled to her love and a relationship with her, because he hasn’t yet realized that people stay together if it feels right and if the future looks promising together, not because it used to feel good.
In the past, a woman would be forced to marry a guy picked out for her by a father or guardian and then she had to stay with him for life, regardless of how unhappy she was.
That’s not the way it works anymore.
These days, if a woman loses too much respect and attraction for a guy, she can break up with him because he doesn’t own her, it’s no longer shameful to break up and she is allowed to get in and out of relationships until she finds the right man for her.
So, if you want your ex to open up and want you back, you’ve got to be able to let her see that you really have changed, rather than expecting her to give you another chance because you’re a good man and you really do love her and care about her.
8. Not giving her the attraction experience that she really wants
For a woman to remain happy in a relationship, she has to be able to get the attraction experience she wants.
She doesn’t have to put up with feeling unhappy, bored, unappreciated, smothered or controlled.
For example, when you talk to your ex these days:
- Do you make her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again, or do you stress her out by always talking about the relationship, your feelings or going over and over your mistakes?
- Do you remain calm and composed when she says or does something that annoys you, or do you get upset and get into an argument with her over it?
- Do you make her feel like a real woman (i.e. feminine and girly) when she’s with you, or do you treat her like a neutral friend, or allow her to dominate you emotionally to the point where she feels stronger than you?
- Do you behave like a man who has understood where he went wrong and has fixed some of the issues that were turning her off, or are you just the same guy she broke up with who is making the same mistakes (e.g. taking her for granted, being emotionally sensitive, being insecure)?
Open and Willing to Give You Another Chance
To get your ex to open up to you again and be willing to give you another chance, you need to be able to let her see that you really have moved beyond the level that you were at when she broke up with you.
For example: If a guy got broken up with because he allowed his woman to wear the pants in the relationship and be more dominant than him, to get her back he needs to show her that he’s now more masculine in the way he thinks, feels, behaves and takes action in life.
She can now feel like a real woman around him because he is more masculine than her.
Another example is where a woman broke up with a guy because there was constant arguing and fighting in the relationship and she felt stressed out and frustrated.
To show her that he’s now at a different level, he needs to let her see that he’s learned from his mistakes, has started to change and is reacting differently in difficult or challenging situations.
When your ex realizes that she now feels respect, attraction and love for you whenever she interacts with you, she will naturally and automatically open back up to you again.