The first week after a break up can be one of the hardest to get through, depending on how you approach it.
To help you get through it more easily and to help prepare you to attract her back, here are 4 tips that you need to read…
1. Understand that it is possible to get her back and that you will almost certainly achieve that
Right now the pain of your break up is relatively fresh, so it’s really easy for you to allow yourself to think negative thoughts like, “I’ve lost my ideal woman and life feels hopeless without her. I just don’t know how I will ever be able to move on without her. Everything I do feels so empty and pointless because she’s not here to share these moments with me, but she said she never wants to see me again, so I know it’s futile to even think about getting her back. However, I still can’t stop thinking about her all the time. What should I do?”
The good news though is that all those negative thoughts about your chances of reconciling with your ex are false.
In reality, getting an ex back is not only possible, it’s actually very likely when you approach the ex back process in the correct way.
So, don’t let the shock of your break up cause you to start thinking, acting and behaving in ways that will turn your ex off when you interact with her (e.g. being sad, depressed, needy, unable to cope like a real man would).
Regardless of whether your ex is saying things like, “Forget it! Nothing you say or do will make me change my mind about us being broken up,” you can’t let it get to you and put you off.
Instead, you need to focus on saying and doing the types of things that will re-spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you, so she naturally and easily changes her mind without any pressure from you.
From now on, when you interact with her over the phone and in person, you need to let her experience the new and improved you for herself (e.g. you’re more confident and self-assured, you’re more emotionally independent now and even though you want her back you don’t need her back to feel good about yourself, you’re more emotionally masculine and know how to push her buttons to make her feel attracted again).
When your ex can see for herself that you’re not going to pieces without her and that you don’t lose your confidence around her despite the fact that she treats you with indifference, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling respect for you again.
When she starts respecting you again, she then also begins to feel sexually attracted to you again.
When those two emotions are reactivated, it becomes difficult for her to keep pushing you away and saying that she doesn’t want to be your girl again.
She feels drawn to you in a good way and realizes that what you and her have isn’t over after all.
As a result, she lets her defenses slip down a little bit to see what will happen next.
You can then build on her feelings for you during one or two more interactions and by then, she will want to get back together again as much as you.
It’s actually easier than you might think.
So, believe that it is possible and do something about it (i.e. contact her right away and start re-attracting her rather than sitting around feeling miserable).
Another tip on how to handle the first week after a break up is…
2. Get clear on which ex back approach you plan on using
There are many ways you can go about getting your ex back, but until you’ve decided which way is best for you, you may end up mixing everything up and trying random things.
That almost certainly won’t work and as a result, it might cause you to become despondent and maybe even give up altogether.
So, what should you do instead?
Find out what your options are, choose one and do it properly.
For example: Here are 3 options…
- Give her space for 3 to 7 days to allow for things to calm down and make her start missing you.
- Then re-attract her (e.g. by making her laugh and smile during interactions, flirting with her to create some sexual tension between you) to make her want you back for her own reasons. For example: Some of her reasons might be… She feels attracted to you now. She doesn’t feel like the relationship is over. She feels like there is still something there between you and her and she wants to explore it or experience it.
- Ignore her for 30 days and hope that she comes back on her own.
- This method usually backfires. Why? When a woman has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy, not hearing from him at all after the break up is a relief to her, because she doesn’t have to deal with him trying to get her back. She then uses the time to fully get over him and move on (usually by hooking up with a new man). Then, by the time her ex gets in touch with her again after 30 days, she’s no longer available and he’s lost his chance of getting her back. Alternatively, even if a woman does still have feelings for her ex and secretly hopes they can work things out, when he starts ignoring her immediately after the break up, she usually takes it as a sign that he doesn’t care for her anymore. Then, to heal her pain she puts in extra effort to move on and meet a new man. This is why it’s always better to stay in touch with an ex after a break up and use the time to re-spark her feelings.
- Try to build a relationship back up via text.
- This is usually something that guys do when they don’t feel very confident in themselves and in their ability to re-attract their ex over the phone and in person. Unfortunately, texting an ex to re-attract her doesn’t work in most cases. Instead, it ends up turning a woman off, because the guy can easily appear desperate and needy by putting way too much effort into his text replies. Additionally, if he doesn’t get to a phone call with her, the woman may feel that he doesn’t really care about her enough to move past texting. She then closes herself off even more and focuses on moving on without him.
As you can see, you have many options you can take to get your ex back.
However, if you really want to be successful, the best option is to interact with her on a phone call, but more importantly, in person and actively reawaken her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
When you do, getting her back becomes really easy.
Another tip on how to handle the first week after a break up is…
3. Improve your ability to attract her and other women
You can sit around feeling despondent and missing your ex during the first week after your break up, or you can use that time to improve your ability to attract her so that you can get her back.
How can you do that?
Here is a quick lesson on how a woman’s attraction really works…
Unlike men who feel attracted to a woman based mostly on her physical appearance, women are predominantly attracted to a guy based on his ability to make her feel the way she wants to feel by the way he talks and interacts with her, his body language, his attitude and the way he responds to her.
It’s about who he is when she’s interacting with him.
- Is he confident or nervous?
- Is he too serious, or does he make her laugh and smile?
- Is he desperate or calm and relaxed?
- Does he make her feel feminine and girly around him, or does he make her feel neutral or even turned off?
- Is he the kind of man she can rely on to be a man all the time (e.g. during a crisis, when things don’t go his way), or does he expect her to be the emotionally stronger one and take the lead?
That is what really matters to a woman in terms of attraction in a relationship.
This is why, if you’re serious about getting your ex back, you have to be able to attract her in the ways that matter to her.
If you try to get your ex back while making the same old attraction mistakes that you made before she broke up with you (e.g. feeling insecure about your attractiveness and value to her, giving her too much power over you, treating her more like a friend than a lover, lacking confidence around her and other people), she isn’t going to feel motivated to get back with you.
So, if you want to re-attract her, you’ve got to show her via the way you talk, think, act and behave that you’ve become a better man (e.g. more confident and emotionally strong, more emotionally masculine, no longer insecure and needy).
Then, the more she experiences the new and improved you, the more emotionally attracted to you she will feel.
It then becomes easier for her to imagine herself being your woman once again.
However, if you try to re-attract her by offering her the types of things that don’t matter to her (e.g. flowers, gifts, promises to do whatever she wants you to do), she’s not going to be very interested and neither will any other women.
Another tip on how to handle the first week after a break up is…
4. Know that getting her back will be an enjoyable experience for both you and her, not just you
Reunited love feels amazing.
It’s one of the most incredible feelings a couple can experience together.
Look at it this way…
You and your ex had a relationship.
You used to feel great together, but then things went bad for a little while causing you to break up.
However, neither of you gave up on the love you felt for each other and instead, you put in the effort to change, improve and become better than before.
As a result, you got back together again and are now happy, more mature, more in love and more connected than ever before.
Looking back at what you’ve been through together as a couple only makes you love, respect and cherish each other even more.
Women love that feeling and so do men.
It’s a really amazing experience to go through and literally millions of couples do it every year.
People break up and get back together again all the time.
The great thing is, you can be one of those men who gets his ex back into a relationship that’s even better than it was before.
When you spark your ex’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for you again and then build on that, she won’t be able to stop herself from wanting to experience the joy of renewed love with you.
So, don’t sit around thinking things like, “Why would she want to get back with me?” or, “Just because I want her back doesn’t mean she will want me too,” or “How can I even convince her to give me another chance?”
Remember: You will be doing your ex a favor by making her fall in love with you again and getting back together again.
It will be an amazing experience for her, just as much as for you.
So, go ahead and do it.
She’s waiting for you.
Where Guys Go Wrong During the First Week After a Break Up
What you do in the first week after a break up is actually more important than you might think, because it’s either going to be something that will help you get your ex back, or something that will turn her off even more and convince her that you’re definitely not the right guy for her.
So, if you want to make sure you’re doing things to re-attract your ex, you need to avoid the following mistakes:
1. Spending the week obsessing about her and worrying about what she might be up to
Sometimes a guy feels really lucky to have attracted his woman, because she is the most beautiful, interesting and exciting woman he has ever dated.
So, when the relationship ends, he might end up thinking things like, “She was way out of my league. I bet there are dozens of guys already lining up to get a date with her or hook up with her sexually. Yet, the thought of her with some other guy is driving me crazy! Not only can’t I stand thinking about her being naked in another man’s arms, I also can’t bear the idea that she might be comparing him to me and thinking of how much she prefers him. What do I do then? I won’t be able to compete with that, so I won’t stand a chance of getting her back.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
When a guy thinks that way, he ends up losing confidence in himself and in his ability to re-attract his ex.
Then, when he interacts with her over the phone or in person and she picks up on his low self-esteem, she feels turned off even more.
She then decides that he’s not the right guy for her, so she rejects his attempts to get her back.
So, if you want to re-attract your ex, make sure you don’t do things that will make you doubt your value to her (e.g. obsess about what she’s doing).
Instead, focus on regaining control of your emotions and getting rid of any feelings of neediness and desperation that you might be feeling, by knowing that you are good enough for her and therefore you can re-attract her and get her back.
You can then relax and confidently get her back over the next few days to a week.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Preparing a huge e-mail or letter to send her about his feelings
It can sometimes be difficult for a guy to express his feelings directly to his ex (e.g. because he’s nervous of how she will respond, he gets too emotional).
So, he may decide that the best way to let her know how he feels is via an e-mail or letter.
He might then pour his heart out to her and tell her things like how much he still loves her, how lost he feels without her and how he desperately wants them to get back together again.
He’s secretly hoping that when his ex reads it, she will feel overwhelmed and flattered that he cares so much for her and she will then change her mind about being broken up.
Yet, it rarely works out that way.
Instead, when a woman has disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for a guy, him writing to her to express his feelings for her doesn’t impress her at all.
Rather than make her think, “That’s just so romantic. I never realized he cared so much. That changes everything. He deserves another chance with me after all,” she just feels turned off by what she perceives as his selfish behavior, because he’s only thinking about himself and what he wants and not about her.
So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t make everything about what you feel and what you want.
How she feels is what matters to her, so focus on making her feel respect, attraction and love for you again.
When you change how she feels about you, you’ll get what you want too (i.e. her back into a relationship with you).
Focus on your feelings only and she push you away and try to move on.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Focusing on improving superficial things about yourself (you’re your haircut, clothes), rather than improving what really matters
Although a woman may appreciate it if her ex gives himself a bit of a makeover (especially if he’d become a slob during their relationship).
However, that’s not the main thing that will make her want to give him another chance.
Instead, she’s going to look out for his ability to attract her emotionally during interactions.
If he can make her feel respect and attraction for him based on the way he thinks, acts, behaves and responds to her, she will either feel drawn to him again and want to give him a chance, or she will feel turned off and want to move on.
This is why you need to use the first week after your break up to improve some of the things that will truly matter to your ex (e.g. becoming more confident, emotionally masculine, assertive), rather than focusing on superficial things and then coming across as the ex who just doesn’t get her, so she moves on.
Focus on what really matters to her and will truly make her feel sparks of attraction for you again.