Here are 4 tips to make her want to communicate with you again and get back with you:
1. Get ready to use the next interaction you have with her to make her feel re-attracted
Just because she has cut off all contact, it doesn’t mean it is permanent.
She could become open to communicating with you in the next day, few days or week or so.
If she doesn’t, then I’ll explain what to do about that later, but for now, let’s assume that she will become open to communicating with you again in a week.
In that case, you absolutely must prepare yourself to make the most of that communication, rather than causing her to feel turned off, uninterested or uninspired by her conversation with you.
For example: Imagine that your ex does answer your text or call next week, but as she communicates with you, she senses that you’re nervous, unsure of yourself and hesitant.
Women just aren’t attracted to that, especially in a guy that they’ve dumped, so it’s not going to inspire her to want to keep talking to you.
That is why you have to prepare yourself to be fully confident and ready to communicate with her in the same kind of way you did when things were good between you and her (i.e. you were together, she attracted to you, loved you, you were happy together).
Come from that place, rather than from a place of insecurity and unworthiness and your communication style will be much more attractive and appealing to her.
One of the ways you can begin preparing yourself to be fully confident, is by
replacing the negative thoughts running through your head with positive ones.
For example: If you think, “My ex has cut off all contact with me, so clearly it’s a hopeless situation now. She doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I’d only be kidding myself if I believe that she could open back up to me again,” it’s not going to make you feel confident about getting her back.
Instead, it’s almost certainly going to make you feel discouraged and dejected, which will then cause you to feel depressed and lost without her.
It might also cause you to feel unworthy of her now, nervous about talking to her and afraid that she will reject you again.
As a result, when you do have an interaction with your ex and she picks up on your insecurity, self doubt and fear, she’s going to feel turned off by you.
She will then close herself off and want to avoid any communication with you, which might lead to you thinking that you were right to believe you could never get another chance with her.
Then, you’re on your own.
She’s gone and you feel hopeless about the situation.
You might even feel turned off about the idea of being with other women, because you’re so hurt by the break up and only want her or nothing.
That can lead to months of loneliness, while she happily moves on and enjoys her life without you.
Don’t go down that path.
Choose the path of confidence, self-belief and possibilities, rather than insecure, doubt and negativity.
For example: Start telling yourself things like, “Yes, it’s true that she has cut off all contact with me for now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get her back. I can. I can change my approach with her and make her feel attracted in new and interesting ways. All of a sudden, she will feel surges of sexual and romantic attraction for me and as a result, she will be the one wanting to talk on the phone and meet up in person. She will feel drawn to me again and I can then guide her back into a relationship. The relationship will be even better than the one we had before because I’m going to understand where I went wrong, make some adjustments and create a new relationship dynamic between her and I that makes us both feel happy, alive and lucky to be together.”
When you think that way, the way you carry yourself automatically changes.
You become more confident and self assured.
You feel good about yourself.
You feel alive, inspired and motivated.
Additionally, if you improve your understanding of how to attract her, you start believing in your attractiveness and value to your ex and to other women as well.
As a result, it comes through in the way you talk, act, think and behave and you naturally seem to be a more attractive man to your ex and to women in general.
When you interact with her, she realizes that she still has feelings for you and isn’t fully over you, so she stops wanting to cut off all contact and instead, wants to open up and explore what she is feeling for you now.
2. Give her a week to contact you and if she doesn’t, just go ahead and contact her
Don’t give her any longer than a week though.
A week is more than enough time to prove the point that you’re not being needy, desperate and chasing her.
These days, so many guys make the mistake of giving their ex a lot of space (e.g. 30 to 60 days) before contacting her.
Then, when he eventually contacts her, she either doesn’t respond, blocks him or lets him know that she has moved on and is happy with someone else now.
So, don’t make the mistake of sitting around for weeks or months hoping that she will eventually text or call you.
That can happen in some cases, but a woman will usually only contact her ex to find out if he’s still missing her and wanting her back.
When she finds that out, she then stops contacting him again and continues moving on with her life.
Essentially, she just wanted to have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that he still wants her back, rather than never knowing why he stopped contacting her and potentially assuming it was because he didn’t care.
So, just give your ex a week to contact you and if she doesn’t, go ahead and contact her.
If you try to call her and she doesn’t answer, you can text her something like this, “Hey, I know you don’t want to talk to me right now and I respect that. However, I really need to ask you something quick over the phone, so I’m going to call you in 10 minutes time. Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious. Just something quick I want to ask you. Talk to you in 10.”
Then, give her a call 10 minutes later.
If she doesn’t answer, don’t keep calling and calling and end up coming across as needy and desperate.
Instead, leave it for a day or two and then try to call her again.
If she still doesn’t answer your call, text her this, “Hey, I hope you’re having a good day. I tried calling you a few days ago to ask you something quick, but I guess you must have been busy. No problem. I might try to get hold of you some other time so I can ask you this question.”
She then might text you back and ask, “What do you want to ask me? Just text it to me now.”
Whatever you do though, don’t text her back though.
You have to call her.
It’s so much easier to make her feel attracted on a phone call when she hears your voice, senses your confidence and smiles or laughs when you make her feel attracted.
On the other hand, it’s so easy for her to continue being cold or distant if you just texts her.
So, if she insists that you text her, just respond with something like, “What I need to ask you can only be done over the phone.”
In most cases, a woman will be curious enough about what you want to ask her and as a result, she will then answer your call.
BTW: What you want to ask her is to meet up with you in person, but don’t make the mistake of saying that to her before you’ve sparked some of her feelings for you first.
If you do, she might get angry with you and end the call and then getting her to talk to you again will be a lot more difficult the second time around.
So, when you get her on the phone, start off by using some humor to get her smiling, laughing and feeling happy that she agreed to talk to you again.
Then, when she seems relaxed and open again and is possibly even saying things like, “I really didn’t want to talk to you again, but I’m glad I did,” get her to agree to catch up with you in person.
Tell her that is what you wanted to ask her, but you wanted to ask her over the phone, because if you asked her via text, she would have almost certainly said no.
You can also add in some humor like (said in a playful, joking tone of voice), “You’re so much nicer on the phone” if it fits the situation.
Essentially, just make sure that you are confident enough to say things like that to her, rather than holding back and seeming nervous or unsure of yourself as a result.
Let her experience your confidence and feel it, so she can feel attracted and realize that she still does have some feelings for you.
Then, when you meet up in person, build on her feelings of attraction for you, get to a hug and kiss and get her back.
By the way…
3. If she doesn’t ever answer or respond, you will have to attract her indirectly
In some cases, an ex woman will make it very difficult for an ex to get in touch with her (e.g. she will ignore his texts, refuse to answer any of his calls or just block his number), so the only option in a case like that is to attract her indirectly (i.e. via your social media posts).
Via your social media profiles (e.g. Instagram and Facebook), you need to let her see that you are confident, happy and enjoying life without her.
Not by yourself though.
The photos (or videos) that you post to your social media profiles need to show you around other people looking confident, happy and included.
If you don’t have a profile, make one.
If you don’t normally post like that, start doing it.
It doesn’t matter if it is out of the ordinary for you.
You are technically a single man now and in her mind, are supposed to be living your life without her.
So, don’t be afraid to do what will attract her from a distance, by posting up photos or videos of yourself having fun with other people.
How will doing that help get her back?
It shows her that you aren’t needy of her, which actually makes her feel subtly rejected and as though she no longer has the power over you that she once had.
It also makes her feel respect for you, for having the emotional strength to get on with enjoying your life so soon after being dumped and heartbroken.
It also makes her curious as to why you feel so confident and happy all of a sudden.
Was she dragging you down, or holding you back?
Are you happier without her?
Are you over her now?
These are questions that cause a woman to toss and turn at night and lose sleep.
You are on her mind, she’s feeling drawn to you again and you don’t seem to be wanting her back.
So, to make herself feel better, she will contact you to see if she can find out whether or not you miss her and want her back.
By the way…
If your ex has unfriended you on Facebook or doesn’t follow you on Instagram, simply post the pictures as ‘public’ so anyone can see them.
Don’t worry, she will check up on you at some point.
She might do it every day, once every few days, once a week, or she might try to avoid looking at your profiles for a couple of weeks.
Yet, sooner or later, she is going to check and when she sees you looking confident, happy and enjoying life without her (around other people, not on your own), she is going to feel compelled to contact you.
A woman will usually then send a simply text to say “Hi” or, “Hey” as a way of opening up the lines of communication again.
She might text more, but if you get at least get something from her, then it’s a sign that she is feeling left behind, rejected and hurt and is trying to find out if you still want her back.
You then need to make sure that you don’t give her the satisfaction or peace of mind that she is seeking.
Just flirt with her, show some interest, but don’t let her sense that you’ve been waiting and hoping for her to call or text, so you can get her back.
Instead, keep things like and if you can, get her on a phone call and make her feel attracted to the new and improved you.
Then, arrange to catch up in person to say hi and then get her back.
4. When you do talk again, don’t use the same old approach to communication that she became bored of, or turned off by in the relationship
If you were too nice to her leading up to the break up, or were insecure, unsure of yourself and gave her too much power, make sure that you don’t come across in that way when you talk to her again.
If she senses that you haven’t changed, then she’s not going to be interested in getting back into a relationship that will most likely end up in a break up again.
This is why you need to make sure that you fully prepare yourself to use a different approach, so you can re-attract her and successfully get her back.
If you’re not sure what to do differently and end up feeling stuck while talking to her, here are some questions you can ask yourself…
- Am I making her feel feminine and girly and therefore turned on and attracted, or am I making her feel like we’re just friends or buddies and therefore uninspired about the idea of getting back with me? If you’re making her feel as though you and her are just like friends now, you need to step up your masculine approach to the conversation (e.g. be more manly in the way you talk, have a more manly vibe, be more assertive, stop looking at her as your equal in terms of dominance and realize that she wants to feel less dominant than you, think of her as a cute, young woman who likes you and that you’re trying to seduce and sleep with, rather than an ex who doesn’t like you, or an ex that you’re not worthy of anymore).
- Am I making her laugh, smile and feel glad that she’s in contact with me again, or am I making her feel stressed, tense and regretting her decision to talk to me? If you’re making her feel tense, have the courage to add in some humor, or more humor to the conversation. Have the courage to be more lighthearted about things, rather than following her serious, distant vibe and feeling like you’re not ‘allowed’ to joke around with her.
- Am I maintaining my confidence regardless of what she’s saying or doing to make me feel unsure of myself, or am I feeling nervous, insecure and unsure and turning her off as a result? Regardless of what she says, you have to maintain belief in yourself as being more than worthy of her, while also being good to her, respectful and charming. Don’t doubt yourself for a second.
When you use a new, more attractive approach with her during the interaction, she will realize that things really would be different (in a good way) if you and her got back together.
She wouldn’t be getting back into a relationship that was going to be the same as before.
Instead, she would get to feel a whole new level of attraction, love and respect for you.
Additionally, because you are using the new approach already, she’s going to be feeling some of that new respect, attraction and love for you.
Therefore, the idea of cutting off contact with you isn’t going to feel right to her.
She’s going to want to explore her new feelings for you.
She knows that if she doesn’t, she’s going to regret it and miss you a lot now.
As a result, it becomes very difficult for her to hold onto her previous negative feelings about you and the relationship.
Of course, she might initially act like she still doesn’t really want to have any contact with you, but once her sexual and romantic feelings for you have been reawakened, her guard will come down whether she likes it or not, or whether she admits it or not.
It then becomes a lot easier for you to get her back, because she’s open to it and wanting it.