To stop your ex from falling in love with her new guy you need to…
1. Give Her the Missing Pieces of the Attraction Experience That She Didn’t Get With You
When a woman breaks up with a man, it’s usually because there are certain aspects of his thinking and behavior that are causing her to lose respect and attraction for him (e.g. he’s too insecure, he doesn’t make her feel like a real woman, he takes her for granted).
So, when she then hooks up with a new guy after the breakup, she will often choose a guy who is the opposite of her ex in the areas that she felt were most lacking in her relationship with him.
For example: If her ex was too emotionally sensitive, got upset about setbacks in his life and whined about his feelings to her, then her new man will usually be more emotionally strong and better able to handle his emotions around her.
Another example is where a guy stopped making his woman feel feminine and girly in his presence and instead fell into the habit of treating her more like a friend or worse, making her feel like she was more of “the man” in the relationship.
In a case like that, her new guy will be more emotionally masculine in the way he thinks, feels, behaves and interacts with her, which will allow her to relax into thinking, feeling and behaving like a girly, feminine woman around him.
Essentially, your ex’s new guy is simply filling in the missing pieces of the attraction experience that she didn’t get with you (e.g. her new guy is more emotionally strong, he makes her feel more feminine and girly, he makes her feel more loved and appreciated).
However, that doesn’t mean that your ex’s new guy is perfect for her, or that you can’t get her back.
When you make some attractive adjustments to the way you think, act and behave, you will be ready to properly re-attract her.
Then, the next time you interact with your ex (e.g. on a phone call or in person), you can start giving her the attraction experience she always wanted from you, but never got.
For example: When interacting with her, ask yourself…
- Am I turning her on right now (by being confident, charismatic, masculine or funny), or am I turning her off (by being insecure, soft, hesitant, needy or weak)?
- Am I making her smile and enjoy talking to me, or does she sound cold and distant because I’m being too serious?
- Am I making her feel like a feminine woman in my presence, or do I make her feel more like a neutral friend?
- Does she feel respect and sexual attraction for me based on how I interact with her and talk to her, or does she still feel that she’s getting a better attraction experience from her new guy?
If you are doing it right, those things will make her start looking at you in a more positive light.
She might then start comparing you to her new guy and possibly begin seeing the missing pieces of the attraction experience that she’s not getting from him (e.g. He might be more emotionally strong, but he’s also selfish and self-centered. He might make her feel feminine and girly in his presence, but he doesn’t have any focus and direction in his life).
When this begins to happen, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again, because you are now giving her the attraction experience she always wanted from you, as well as highlighting to her the new guy’s shortcomings.
She then starts to wonder, “What am I doing with this guy when my ex is now being everything I always wanted in a man? I was a fool to break up with him. Maybe I should just start seeing him again” and then getting back together again with you begins to feel good to her.
The next step is to…
2. Show Her That You Have Already Transformed Yourself
Right now, if your ex is in a relationship with a new guy, it may be difficult for you to have many (or any) interactions with her.
However, she may still be open to hearing from you now and again.
So, to stop your ex from falling in love with her new guy, you need to actively interact with her (via text, on a phone call and in person), so that she can see for herself that you’ve changed all the things that were turning her off before and have transformed yourself into a new man.
Whatever the case is for you, the most important thing that you need to do is use every interaction that you have with her as a way of actively sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you again, by showing her that you’ve transformed yourself and that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with.
To get her back, you need to actively make her feel something for you again, so her guard comes down and she opens herself up to talking to you in person again.
This means that you can’t just sit back and assume that if you wait it out for long enough, her new relationship will be just a rebound and when it’s over she will come running back to you.
Yes, her new guy might just be a rebound guy and she might break up with him eventually, but there’s no guarantee that they will break up unless you stop it.
There’s also no guarantee that she will come running back to you after she breaks up with him either.
Ultimately, if you’re not actively interacting with your ex to stir up her feelings for you again, it’s very unlikely that she will break up with her guy and then think, “Well it’s over with the new guy, but my ex is a different matter altogether. Yes, I know that I haven’t heard from him since we broke up, but I’m sure if I call him and tell him that my rebound relationship is over, we can get back together again and everything will be perfect between us this time.”
Unfortunately, that’s not how it works in most ex back cases.
Some guys do get their ex woman coming back after she breaks up with her rebound, but most (I’ve dealt with 100s of ex back cases via my phone coaching services) don’t see her come running back.
Instead, she just continues to date new men and then moves on, unless he stops it from happening and actually gets her back.
Essentially if you stay out of the picture long enough, she’s going to start to forget about you and lose any motivation to want to get back with you.
So, if you want to stop her from falling in love with her new guy and get her back, the most important thing that you need to do is to interact with her via text, social media, e-mail and especially over the phone and in person if she’s open to it, so you can let her experience respect and attraction for the new you.
You need to show her via the way you talk, think, behave, interact with her and respond to what she says and does, that you have transformed yourself and are no longer the same guy she broke up with.
For example: If you were insecure before, you are now confident and self-assured. If you were too nice before and allowed her to dominate you emotionally, you are now more ballsy and stand up to her.
When she experiences the new you, her guard comes down and she starts to reconnect with her original feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
She also experiences new, more exciting feelings for you based on the fact that you can now give her the kind of attraction experience she really wanted from you all along.
Then, she becomes more willing to see you in person.
From there, you just need to continue showing her that you’ve transformed yourself into the kind of man she can look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love, until her walls come crashing down.
She then begins to ask herself, “Did I make the right decision by breaking up with him? Is my new guy really the right guy for me after all? Should I just give my ex another chance? I miss him.”
3. Make Her Laugh, Smile and Feel Good Whenever She Interacts With You
One of the best ways to make your ex drop her guard is to make her smile and laugh when you interact with her.
It’s very difficult for a woman to keep thinking, “I hate this guy! He broke my heart and ruined our relationship. I’m never going to forgive him for what he did,” when she’s smiling, laughing and having fun in your presence.
So, rather than waste the interactions you have with your ex (which will likely be limited now that she has a new guy) by being too serious and going over what went wrong in the relationship, just use the time to create new, positive, happy feelings inside her by making her smile and laugh.
For example: If she says something like, “Look, I’m seeing someone else now. I don’t think we should be talking to each other. It just wouldn’t be fair to my new boyfriend,” rather than get upset and give up, you can turn it into something to laugh about with her.
You might respond by saying something like, “Okay, no problem. I promise to stop talking to you right away. I’m just going to silently mime everything from now on. I don’t know how well that will work over the phone though, so you’re just going to have to meet up with me instead, or else you’ll miss the whole conversation and then I’ll have to start my miming from the beginning.”
She will most likely have a laugh with you about it, or at least smile and she will feel some respect and attraction for you again for having the confidence to make a joke in a potentially tense moment like that.
When you make her laugh, it’s difficult for her to keep thinking of you in a negative way because she starts seeing you as the more confident, brave and emotionally strong man that you are now.
She then drops her guard and allows herself to feel respect and attraction for you again.
When that happens, she begins to wonder, “Did I make the right decision to break up with him? Is my new guy really the right guy for me? Do I really love my new guy or am I still in love with my ex? Why am I feeling like this all of a sudden? Is it a sign?”
That’s what you want her to be experiencing.
When you do that, she automatically stops falling in love with her new guy and starts to question her feelings for him vs. you.
4. Show Her That You’re Moving Forward in Life Without Her
Sure you can sit around pining over your ex woman and wondering, “What can I do to stop my ex from falling in love with her new guy?” but that’s unlikely going to get her back on its own.
Also, if your ex interacts with you and senses that you’ve just been sitting around feeling sad and lonely without her, she will feel turned off by what she perceives as your lack of emotional independence.
Women hate it when a guy needs her to feel good about himself or to have a sense of identity of purpose in the world.
On the other hand, women love it when a guy wants her, but doesn’t actually need her to feel happy, make progress in life and feel worthy as a man in this world.
So, don’t be the sad, depressed ex who just ignores life and keeps to himself now that she’s left you.
There’s nothing wrong with missing your ex, but if you want to re-spark her feelings for you and get her back, you need to show her that you’re the kind of man she will feel proud to come back to.
A good way of doing that is by moving forward in your life without her.
Now is the time to go ahead and make progress towards fulfilling your goals, dreams and desires in life.
- If you have a big purpose in life that you neglected because of your relationship, now is the time to pick up where you left off and make things happen.
- If you’ve never had a life purpose, find one and then go after it with all your might (e.g. What is your biggest dream, goal or ambition? What do you wish you could do with your life? What do you want to achieve, be or become? What is the most challenging, but meaningful thing that you want to work on for your entire life?)
- If you’ve wanted to go traveling, then pack your bags and get going (just make sure to take lots of great photos of you having fun with other people to then post on social media where your ex can see them. Don’t post photos up of you on your own. That does not work. You have to be having fun with other people).
- If you’ve wanted to learn a new skill (e.g. how to skydive, boxing, mixed martial arts, how to dance), then go for it.
- If you’ve always wanted to get a degree or better qualification, start doing it now.
The world is your oyster and you can choose to do whatever you want and be whoever you want in this life, so do it.
As a bonus, when you move forward in life and get to the point where you have big goals, dreams, ambitions, interests and friendships separate from your relationship with your ex, you actually become more attractive to her.
You become the kind of man she can look up to, respect, feel attracted to and feel proud to come back to.
Women love and feel attracted to a man who knows who is and what he wants in life, outside of just wanting a woman.
So, when your ex sees that you’re emotionally independent and have a life without her, she begins to look at you with different eyes.
She starts to feel concerned about losing out on being with a great guy like you and this makes her drop her guard and open herself up to interacting with you more.
From there, you just need to keep focusing on rebuilding her feelings of respect and attraction for you and before long, she will find herself doubting her feelings for her new guy.
5. Optional: Hook Up With Her Sexually and Blow Her Mind, So She Feels Confused About Who She Wants
Once you’ve successfully reactivated some of your ex’s feelings of respect and attraction for you, get her to meet up with you in person (e.g. invite her out for a cup of coffee to catch up and say hello as friends).
At the meet up, keep making her feel sexual attraction and respect for you by showing her via the way you talk, think and behave that you’ve transformed yourself into a new man.
Continue to use humor as a way to keep things light, drop her guard and erase any negative feelings she may be holding onto about interacting with you again.
Then, if she seems to be open to and is giving you signs that she’s attracted to you (e.g. touching you on the arm or leg, licking her lips, playing with her throat) lean in and give her a kiss.
If she doesn’t pull away, deepen the kiss and keep turning her on.
From there, if she’s still open to it, hook up with her sexually at your place or hers and blow her mind.
If you don’t think she will kiss you in public, just get her to give you a hug when you’re parting ways at the end of the catch up.
Say, “Okay, good catching up. Bring it in for a hug goodbye.”
If she sticks with the hug and is being warm, lean back and look her in the eyes and then lean in for a kiss.
Then, head to her place or yours to “hang out” and then get it on.
The more you make her feel attracted to you, the more doubts she will have about her new guy.
From there, you just need to continue showing her that you’ve transformed yourself into the kind of man that she can now look up to, respect and feel attracted to.
As you do that, she will naturally begin to fall deeply in love with you all over again.
When she realizes that you’re now the man she has always wanted, she will likely drop her new guy and come running back to you.