No, it’s not needy to want your ex back.
It’s only needy if you absolutely need your ex back for your emotional security and stability.
If you are confident, happy and moving forward in life without her, but you want her back because you love her, then there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
In fact, it’s the way a real man approaches a relationship break up.
Watch this video for more info…
A real man doesn’t need to feel ashamed of loving his woman.
However, if a needy guy is desperate, lost and depressed without his ex woman, then he should become emotionally independent before attempting to get her back otherwise he will turn her off.
Sometimes a guy may wonder, “Why would a woman feel turned off by a guy who is completely unhappy and lost without her? Wouldn’t she feel flattered that she means so much to him that nothing else matters in his life?”
In most cases, the answer is no.
Most women want to be loved and appreciated by their man, but they don’t want to be his main purpose in life.
There are some insecure women that love the idea of a guy who can’t get on with his life without her, but the majority of women understand that a real man is someone who can be devoted to her and love her, without needing her to feel fulfilled and happy.
So, if right now you’re thinking, “I really need my ex back!! I just can’t live without her!!” chances are she’s not going to want to hear from you.
Women don’t like the idea of getting back with a guy who needs them to regain his emotional stability and sense of identity in this world.
Women want a man who loves them and wants them, but doesn’t act like a needy, desperate wimp while doing it.
Watch this video for more info…
If a woman has lost respect for her ex, him being needy and desperate around her is only going to make her think something like, “Well, I clearly made the right decision by breaking up with him. He’s just too needy and insecure. I want a man who is emotionally strong enough to cope without me. Someone I can look up to and respect, not someone who needs me to mother him and reassure him that things will be okay.”
A much better way to get your ex back, is to re-spark her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you by showing her (via the way you talk, think, behave and interact with her) that you are sincerely content and fulfilled in your life without her.
Yes, you want her back, but you don’t need her back for your emotional sanity, sense of identity or feeling of worthiness as a man in this world.
Your life won’t grind to a standstill just because she’s gone.
You are happy and getting on with becoming an even greater man than you are right now.
That’s what you’ve been doing, right?
If not, that’s what you need to do starting from today.
Interestingly enough, when you realize that you can have a great life without your ex woman, your mindset changes and you start being the sort of man that your ex can actually look up to and respect again.
Then, whenever you interact with her (e.g. on a phone call, or in person) and she notices that you are confident, happy and moving forward in life without her, all of her old positive feelings of respect, attraction and love that she’s pushed into the background suddenly get woken up and she feels drawn to you again.
This is why it’s important that you get to the point in your life where you want her back, but you truly, honestly, sincerely know that you don’t need her back to be okay.
5 Ways You Can Become More Emotionally Independent
If you don’t know how to feel happy and content in life without your ex, here’s what you can do…
1. Find out what your purpose in life really is and go after it
Every man needs a big purpose in his life that he’s working towards.
It’s so important because it stops you from focusing all of your attention on your woman and ending up becoming insecure, jealous, controlling or needy.
Women love a man with purpose and they naturally feel attracted to it because they instinctively know that he will be much less likely to become a wuss in the relationship and will be someone that she can look up to for life.
Yet, not ever guy knows what that purpose is.
If you don’t already know what your purpose is, a good way to find out is by thinking about what you often daydream of doing or becoming.
For example: Which fields of interest have you always been most attracted to (e.g. law, medicine, engineering, journalism, sport, entertainment, education, research, science)?
What have you imagined you might accomplish in any of these fields (e.g. to improve the justice system in your country or local community, to build housing for disadvantaged people, to be a great sportsman, to be a famous musician, to make a scientific breakthrough, to change the world or your local community in some way)?
If you think about the future, what do you want to be remembered for by those who knew you or knew of you?
Your purpose doesn’t have to be something that will change the world in a big way.
It simply needs to be something that is important to you.
By discovering your purpose in life and then making progress in that area, you will realize that you don’t have to rely on your ex for your sense of identity in this world.
You become and be your own man.
As a result, when you interact with her (e.g. on a phone call or in person) and she sees that you’re not sitting around moping about losing her, she will be able to respect and admire you for the hard work that put into being the man you know that you can and should be.
2. If you already have a big purpose, set some goals around it and start achieving them right away
If you already know what your purpose in life is, but have been neglecting it because of your relationship with your ex, now is the time to pick up where you left off.
All that energy that you’ve using thinking about how much you miss your ex and how badly you want her back can be channeled into accomplishing your goals and dreams.
Use it to inspire you to become and be an even greater man than you are, so you can truly impress her.
Not only will you discover that you’re finally getting the things you always wanted done, you will also discover that you’re missing your ex much less too.
This is important, because it allows you to become emotionally independent, which is attractive to women.
Then, if you decide that you really want her back, it will come from a place of emotional strength, rather than weakness due to still being needy and being unable to cope without her in your life.
Another way to become emotionally independent of your ex is to…
3. Start doing all the things you’ve been putting off
It’s easy for a guy to get lost in a relationship with a woman and begin to neglect things that he used to love or still has an interest in, but doesn’t want to do because it will take time away from her.
Before they met, he might have been thinking things like, “I want to travel the world and become a travel writer,” or “I’m going to go back to school to improve my level of education so that I can get a better job,” or “I’m going to learn to speak Spanish, so I can work for that company who needs multilingual people with my skills.”
Yet, once in the relationship he might have started to say to himself, “Those things can wait. Nothing is as important to me as my woman. I don’t want to spend any time away from her.”
If you can relate to that, now is a perfect opportunity to pick up on those things that you’ve been neglecting in your life.
The more you do and accomplish, the more emotionally independent you’ll become.
4. Challenge yourself to do something different
One of the best ways to become emotionally stronger is by doing things that are a little bit more challenging than your usual interests.
For example: If you’re the type of guy who prefers to hang out in bookshops, play chess and only walk for exercise, you can challenge yourself by joining a cooking class, taking up rock climbing and possibly even taking up kickboxing as a way of staying fit.
The more you step out of your comfort zone, the more you grow in emotional strength.
Why is this important?
Essentially because women are mostly attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. his confidence, masculinity, his ability to take risks, his determination to succeed) and are turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, neediness, fear of the unknown).
So, when you make yourself emotionally strong, you automatically become more attractive to your ex because you are displaying the behaviors and personality traits that are naturally attractive to women.
She will pick up on that without you having to tell her.
When you talk to her on the phone or interact with her in person, she will sense the changes in you.
It will come through in your energy, how you talk to her, your behavior, actions and how you react and respond to her.
That’s what really matters to a woman.
A woman judges a man mostly based on how he makes her feel as he interacts with her.
For example: Is he confident or insecure? Is he relaxed and easy-going, or is he tense and awkward?
Finally, another way to become more emotionally independent (as opposed to being needy) of your ex is to…
5. Reconnect with old friends, or make new ones
Sometimes, a guy gets so involved in his relationship with a woman that he gradually starts neglecting his friends.
For example: He might say to himself, “What is the point of hanging out with those guys when I have a beautiful woman right here who loves me? If she can’t come with me, then I don’t want to leave the house without her.”
He may then refuse to catch up with his friends if his woman doesn’t go with and over time, he might stop seeing them altogether.
So, if you’ve been neglectful of your friends, now is the time to make amends and pick up on your old friendships.
If you feel like you don’t want to do that, start fresh by meeting new people.
Join local interest groups, hobby groups, meet ups, catch ups, group exercise clubs or get involved in a sport that involves you interacting with other people.
Then, when you and your ex get back together again, you won’t fall into the trap of smothering her with neediness because you will have friendships and interests that are independent of her.
When you have a life purpose, goals, dreams, interests and friendships that are separate from your relationship with a woman, it is less likely that you will ever feel needy, because your relationship is not the number one thing that defines you.
You are more than just a boyfriend, fiancé or husband to her.
You are a well-rounded, self-actualized man who is making progress on his goals, with or without the support, reassurance or encouragement of his woman.
It’s Not Over Unless You Want it to Be Over
As you can see, it’s not needy to want your ex back if you are a confident, emotionally strong man who is happy and moving forward in life without her.
Unfortunately, most people automatically assume that if a relationship ends, it means that it’s over forever.
So, if a guy decides that he wants his woman back, he will usually be told to just walk away.
For example: Well-meaning friends and even strangers might say things like, “Forget about her and move on. You can’t fix a broken vase, the crack will always be there. So, you can’t fix a broken relationship. If it was meant to be, then she will come back to you. If she doesn’t come back, then it was obviously better for both of you that you broke up. Don’t waste your time wishing for the impossible. Besides, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You can find yourself another woman better than your ex. It’s for the best. Just be patient. You will find a nice girl one day.”
That is ridiculous.
Most relationships have a break up or two and if the man becomes a better man and the love, respect and attraction deepens, the relationship will be even stronger than before and potentially last a lifetime.
What a lot of people don’t realize is that falling back in love after a break up is one of the most amazing feelings a couple can experience in life.
There’s just something about having made it through a difficult patch together and then fixing things up to the point where both you and her are happier and more in love now than ever before.
It binds a couple for life.
That’s not a fantasy.
It’s actually something that millions of couples do every year.
So, it’s not just you who has gone through a break and wants your ex back.
Likewise, it’s completely normal and common for couples to get back together after a break up.
People break up and get back together all the time and you can be one of those people.
Don’t listen to what other people say when they tell you that there you are wrong or needy for wanting to have another chance with your love.
They don’t know what you’ve just learned here about re-attracting an ex woman, or the fact that the love is even more amazing when you get her back.
They only know what they know based on their limited experience.
The fact is, when you trigger your ex woman’s feelings of respect and attraction for you again, she stops focusing on the negatives of your past relationship and she starts to think about the way you are making her feel right now (e.g. sexually attracted, happy, excited, respectful).
She then feels drawn to you and from there you can build on her feelings for you and show her that the love between you and her will be different now.
You are going to make her have such strong feelings for you now, that not only will she want to get back together again, she will also try her hardest to keep you happy so that the relationship will stay together this time.
In most cases, getting an ex woman back happens very quickly, but sometimes if the break up was messy, it might take a few weeks before the woman feels ready to fully let go of her negative feelings and allow her new feelings of respect and desire to come through.
So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it.