If you want to break up your ex’s rebound relationship, here’s what you need to do…
1. Understand Her Attraction For Him and Then Beat Him at His Own Game
When a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because certain things about him have been turning her off, to the point where she just doesn’t want to deal with it any longer.
For example: He’s too insecure, she feels more emotionally dominant than him, he doesn’t know how to make her feel like a real woman or he’s too emotionally sensitive.
In most cases, her rebound guy will be the opposite of her ex in those areas, which will naturally make him more appealing to her.
However, that doesn’t mean that her new guy a better man.
It simply means he’s not making the same relationship mistakes that her ex was making.
So, if you want to break up your ex’s rebound relationship, you have to show her (via the way you talk, think, behave, interact with her and react to what she says and does), that not only have you improved on the things that caused her to break up with you in the first place, but you also have qualities that are lacking in her new guy.
For example: A woman broke up with a guy because he was too insecure in the relationship with her and that caused him to become clingy, over-protective and jealous.
Over time, she got fed up with constantly needing to reassure him of her love and commitment to him and having to deal with his emotional outbursts, so she just broke up with him.
Now, all her new man has to do is be more confident around her and she will automatically see him as a better option than her ex.
However, although the new guy might be more confident, he might also be making other things that turn her off (e.g. he’s lazy, he’s going nowhere in his life, he doesn’t really love her, he spends too much time playing video games).
Initially, a woman might overlook this because she will be telling herself, “At least he’s not as needy as my ex. Sure he’s not doing anything amazing with his life, but that can change. I will inspire him to be a better man.”
Yet, if he doesn’t change, she will start to doubt her feelings for him and wonder whether she should be single again or give her ex another chance.
For her ex to get her back, he needs to show her that he’s now a confident, emotionally strong man around her (e.g. if she tries to make him jealous, he just stays calm and relaxed and laughs it off).
He should also let her see that he is reaching for his true potential as a man by making progress towards achieving his purpose.
He’s not just some lazy, fearful guy who hides behind video games to avoid actually doing something with his life.
He’s making something happen, unlike her rebound guy who isn’t really striving to achieve anything and doesn’t truly love her.
Over time, she will begin comparing her rebound with her ex and may start thinking, “My ex is really different now. No matter how much I push him and try to make him feel insecure or jealous, he doesn’t get upset like he used to. He’s so much more confident than he used to be. If he had been like this when we were together I would never have broken up with him in the first place. He’s actually a really great option for me in so many ways. Now, he’s also so hard working and is clearly motivated and determined to succeed at something in life. Of course, my new guy was definitely more confident than my ex used to be, but he’s so lazy. He’s not interested in doing better in his life. I’m confused. Everything I thought I wanted in my new guy is actually what my ex now has and even more. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what this new guy means to me anymore. Maybe I did mess up by leaving my ex. Maybe my ex is the one for me. I don’t want him to be the one that got away. I have to see him!”
That is what you have to do your ex’s mind while she’s in a rebound.
You have to beat your ex’s guy at his own game by letting her see that you offer a more complete attraction experience compared to him.
In other words, you need to discover the real reasons why your ex broke up with you (e.g. you weren’t man enough, you took her for granted, you became too emotionally dependent on her for your sense of identity in this world, rather than having a life purpose that you were following through on in addition to being with her) and then make some adjustments to the way you talk, think, behave and interact with her and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new, improved you.
You need to show her that not only have you changed the things that were turning her off, but that you’ve become a better, all round man now.
When you do that, she won’t be able to stop herself from wondering if she made the right choice.
The more respect and attraction she feels for you, the more that the hidden negatives and flaws of her new guy will become visible to her.
While you’re trying to beat him at his own game, make sure that you don’t make any of the following mistakes…
- Asking her what she sees in him.
Sometimes a guy might try to his ex woman to see her new guy’s flaws.
For example: He might say, “What do you see in your new boyfriend? Can’t you see that he’s just using you?”
Although his intentions might be good, a woman is unlikely to see it that way.
Instead, she will just assume that he’s secretly jealous and feeling inferior compared to her new guy and she will lose more respect for him as a result.
When she thinks in that way, she will feel drawn to her new man even more and the idea of getting back with her ex will start to feel like it would be a mistake.
So, don’t put yourself in that situation.
Just relax and know that you are a better man than him and she will realize that soon enough.
Another mistake to avoid when attempting to beat the new guy at his own game is…
- Continuing to turn her off in the ways you always used to.
Albert Einstein was reportedly quoted as saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
So, if you keep saying and doing the types of things that were turning your ex off in the past (e.g. being emotionally insecure and sensitive, not being emotionally masculine) and hope that she will suddenly dump her new guy and come running back to you, it’s not going to happen.
If you want to break your ex’s rebound relationship, you need to make sure that you understand and change the things that caused her to break up with you.
If you’re not sure what those things are, ask yourself…
- Was I an emotionally strong and confident man with her, or was I a bit insecure, needy and self-doubting?
- Did I make her feel feminine and girly in my presence, or did she feel more like my friend or big sister?
- Did I take the lead in the relationship, or did I just sit back and allow her to call the shots?
- Did I have a clear purpose and direction in life, or was I just sitting around passing the time because I was too afraid or too lazy to reach for my true potential as a man?
- Was I the kind of man that my woman could look up to, respect and feel attracted to, or did she feel a bit ashamed to be associated with me?
Once you fully understand where you went wrong, you can then make the necessary adjustments to your thinking and behavior that will actually have a positive impact on her.
Then, when you interact with your ex (e.g. on a phone call, or in person), you will correctly respark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, by letting her experience the new you.
- Not being able to attract her in the ways that the new guy can.
Your ex is with her new man for a reason (i.e. he’s giving her the attraction experience she always wanted, but never got from you).
So, to get her back, you need to:
- Continue saying and doing the things about you that she always loved and felt most attracted to about you (e.g. you were caring and loving, you were ambitious and determined to succeed).
- Attract her in the ways that you couldn’t before, but her new guy is doing now (e.g. you lacked confidence in yourself, you didn’t know how to make her feel like a feminine woman in your presence).
Watch this video for some examples of how to re-attract your ex when you interact with her…
Make sure that you believe in yourself when you interact with her.
You’ve got to know that you are a better man than her new guy.
He’s nothing compared to you.
You are the man.
Ironically, that’s actually how women want men to think, but they rarely, if ever, openly admit that.
Just relax and know that you are better than him, without even having to say it to her.
She will pick up on it by how you talk, behave and react to her while you interact.
Another mistake to avoid is…
- Trying to make the other guy look bad compared to you.
A common mistake that guys make when they see that their ex has hooked up with another guy, is to try get her back by making the other guy look bad.
For example: A guy might go around badmouthing his ex’s new man to friends, co-workers, family members and to her directly.
He might say things like, “Have you seen the way that guy dresses? He looks like a real geek,” or “I saw a haircut like that on a poodle once,” or “He’s so broke. Have you seen the car he drives? I’m surprised that anyone would have the courage to step into it. That care looks like it’s ready to fall apart any minute now. What a heap of crap. He’s a loser compared to me and you know it.”
He’s likely hoping that by highlighting the new guys faults, his ex will suddenly realize that she made a big mistake and break up with him.
Yet, rather than changing her mind about her new guy, a woman will likely think, “My ex is being so childish and immature. Does he really think behaving like a jealous brat is going to convince me to take him back?” and she will usually then try to cut off all communication with him.
So don’t do that to yourself.
Don’t waste time trying to get your ex back by competing with her new man and instead focus on rebuilding her feelings of respect and attraction for you, based on the man you have become now.
2. Get Her to Meet Up With You So She Can Experience the New You
Don’t worry if the new guy might get upset about you and her meeting up.
She’s your woman, so he can think or feel whatever he wants.
It doesn’t matter.
What matters is you and her getting back together.
To get her back, you must interact with her on a phone call or in person (not via text) and make her feel so much respect and attraction for the new you that the idea of not having you in her life makes her feel miserable.
You can’t make her feel that way if you’re not interacting with her over the phone or in person.
So, even though your ex might be avoiding you right now (e.g. because she doesn’t want her new boyfriend to get upset), you have to get her to meet up with you.
Call her on the phone and trigger her feelings for you again by making her smile and laugh.
Then, once you get a sense that she’s happy and having fun talking to you again, ask her to meet up with you in person.
She might initially be resistant to the idea and she may say something like, “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” or “My new boyfriend won’t like it.”
Don’t let that put you off.
Instead, stay calm and say in a joking way, “Hey, it’s just a quick catch up as friends. I’m not asking you to run off to Vegas with me” and have a laugh with her about that.
Then say, “Seriously though, it’s just an innocent catch up as friends over a cup of coffee. People do that all the time. It’s perfectly fine and normal. We can catch up and say hello without it having to be a big deal. I know you’re seeing someone else now. I respect that. However, we can be friends. Besides, if we meet up and you then decide that you never want to see or hear from me again, I will accept it and never contact you again if that’s what you want. So, how about it? Let’s catch up for a quick coffee and say hi.”
In most cases, a woman will likely respond by saying something like, “Okay, maybe just this once.”
Then, just go ahead and make plans to meet her at a time that suits you both.
Remember: When you meet up with her for coffee, you need to let her experience the new and improved you (i.e. via the way you talk to her, behave and interact with her), so she can begin to feel respect and attraction again.
When she does, her guard will automatically come down and she will begin to feel sparks of love for you again.
A common mistake that guys make is meeting up with their ex and wasting the opportunity because they’re afraid to flirt with her and make her feel attracted again.
For example: At the meet up, a woman might be cold and distant towards her ex.
A guy will then feel unwelcome to flirt with her and he may say to himself, “Well that’s it then – it’s over. I tried, but she’s clearly not interested. No matter what I say or do she’s just cold and unfriendly towards me. She’s just not giving me a chance and isn’t interested.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
A woman is not going to make it easy for her ex just because he wants her back.
Instead, she’s usually going to wait and see if he’s emotionally strong and confident enough to flirt with her and make her feel attracted, even when she’s being cold or distant.
If he can hang in there and stay confident, she will naturally begin to feel a renewed sense of respect him and feel attraction for him.
On the other hand, if he just gives up and acts like a nice, sweet friend and lets her dominate him with her confident personality, she will leave the meet up and say to herself, “Well, that was a disaster! What a waste of my time. I’m not doing that again. I’m going back to my new guy and will now focus on forgetting all about my ex.”
So, if you want to break up your ex’s rebound relationship, you can’t be afraid to flirt with her when you’re interacting.
No matter how cold and unfriendly she’s being towards you in the beginning, if you stay confident and focus on making her laugh and smile around you, she won’t be able to stop herself from dropping her guard, even if she doesn’t want to.
3. Optional: Hook Up With Her to Mess With Her Feelings
Once you’ve reactivated some of your ex’s feelings for you again (e.g. by making her smile and laugh, flirting with her), she will start to look at you in a more positive light.
The more you make her feel respect and sexual attraction for you, the less she will be able to hold onto her negative perception of you.
She may even start thinking, “My ex is so different now. I’m having such a good time with him. If I was meeting him for the first time today, I’d actually be falling for him right now. He’s a lot sexier than before. I like it.”
So, if you get a sense that she’s feeling attracted to you (e.g. she keeps touching you, she talks plays with her hair, she keeps telling how she can’t believe how different you are now), get her to give you a hug.
For example: You might say something like, “This is actually fairly enjoyable. I thought you’d be quite a drag to meet up with but you’re actually quite fun.”
She will likely laugh and maybe punch you in the arm playfully.
You can then say, “Ow! You’re so mean. You owe me a hug for that. Come here, bring it in for a hug.”
In most cases, a woman will give you a hug and you can then relax and give her a quick kiss.
If the kiss goes well, you can then try to get her to go home with you and hook up sexually, so that she will begin to doubt her feelings for her new guy.
However, even if she doesn’t want to hook up with you sexually, don’t worry about it.
The main thing that you need to focus on is using every interaction you have with her from now on (e.g. text, e-mail, social media, on the phone, or in person) as an opportunity to spark her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you again.
If you are at least doing that, then you are in the process of breaking up her rebound.
4. Show Her That You Are Happy and Living a Fun Life Without Her
Sometimes, when woman gets into a rebound relationship, her ex will feel shocked, disappointed and even a bit betrayed.
For example: He might say to her, “How can you do this to me? How can you hook up with another guy so quickly after breaking up with me? Did what we had together mean nothing to you? Did you ever really love me, or were you just passing your time with me until you found someone else? I don’t believe a person who is truly in love can get over it that quickly. Can’t you see that I still love you? Doesn’t that even matter to you anymore?”
Secretly, he’s hoping that she might take pity on him and break up with her new guy for him.
Yet, that rarely (if ever) happens.
Instead, his behavior turns her off even more, because women are not attracted to the emotional weakness in men (e.g. neediness, insecurity, self-pity).
Women are attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, drive and determination).
So, if you want to break up your ex’s rebound relationship, one of the best ways to do that is by showing her that you’re an emotionally strong and independent man with or without her.
Yes, you definitely do want her back, but you don’t need her back in order to be happy and live a good life.
You’re happy and fulfilled regardless of being with her.
Some of the ways that you can show your ex that you’re getting on with your life and are not sitting around pining for her and feeling sad and lonely is by getting on with all the things in your life you’ve always wanted to do.
For example: You might…
- Learn something new (e.g. how to cook, dance, skydive, do a certain martial art or mixed martial arts).
- Go traveling on a group tour, so you automatically make new friends and are around new people.
- Go out with existing friends to have fun, do outdoor activities and party.
- Hook up with other women (optional).
By focusing on improving yourself and being fulfilled without your ex, not only do you become a better man and have a happier and more successful life, but you also become more attractive to her (and to other women).
Then, when your ex sees that you haven’t been a lonely, sad and depressed guy who hasn’t moved forward in his life since she broke up with him, she will naturally begin to feel more respect and attraction for you.
For example: You have posted photos on social media of you having fun with other people and your attitude and body language is so much more confident and mature.
All of a sudden, she will begin to see you in a more positive light and will start to wonder whether her new guy is the right man for her after all.
It’s then up to you to show her that she made a mistake and guide her back into a new and exciting relationship with you.