Loving dominance means that you assertively take the lead in a loving way, to get her back.
This is what women actually respect and want in a man.
It’s not about pestering her, being demanding or bombarding her with phone calls or texts to get her to meet up with you and give the relationship another chance.
Instead, you just relax and confidently, calmly and lovingly guide her back into a relationship.
For example: Imagine that you’re talking to your ex on the phone with the intention of asking her to meet up with you for a quick cup of coffee.
After a bit of chit chat, you can then say something like, “Hey Laura, it’s been good talking to you again” and then pause to let her say something like, “Yeah, you too.”
You can then say, “Well, seeing that everything’s cool between us and we’re not enemy ex’s who absolutely hate each other, how about we meet up for a coffee sometime this week to catch up and say hi?”
If she says, “Yes,” just arrange a time to meet up and re-attract her at the meet up.
However, if she says something like, “No, I’m not ready to meet up with you in person,” or “No, I don’t think seeing each other again is a good idea” don’t panic.
Don’t let her initial, “No” put you off trying to meet up with her.
You’ve got to be strong and lovingly guide her back into a relationship, rather than hoping that she makes it easy for you or guides you back into a relationship.
As a man, you’ve got to be the more dominant, emotionally courageous one and guide you and your woman into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction for you.
So, rather than panicking and thinking that you’ve blown your chance to meet up with her, just make her laugh (because you’re a loving guy) and then when her guard is down, ask her to meet up with you again.
For example: You might laugh (important) and say to her in a joking way, “No! No! You said that all wrong. You were supposed to say, ‘Yes please! I’d love to meet up with you for a cup of coffee’ or, ‘Sure my handsome ex…I would be happy to meet up with you just as friends. I know that we are both mature enough to do that.’ That’s what you were supposed to say…not give me some lame excuse. Okay, let’s try that again: So, how about we get together for a quick cup of coffee?”
She will likely laugh and chances are, she will start to feel curious about the changes in you (e.g. that you’re able to be lovingly dominant and joke with her like that, even though she’s being cold towards you) and she will begin to feel some respect and attraction for you again.
However, if she still says no to meeting up with you, don’t worry about it.
Laugh and say, “Okay, I’ll give you some space and then call you again in a few days or a week. Hopefully then, we can agree to catch up for a coffee as friends.”
If she still says, “No” to that, just say, “Hey, look – I understand that we’re broken up now, but it’s just a coffee. If you are that concerned about it, then this is what I’ll do for you: If you will meet up with me for this coffee, I promise to never contact you ever again after that if that’s what you want. You have my word on that. So, what you do say? Let’s catch up for a quick coffee to say hi sometime this week.”
Essentially, you don’t take no for an answer, but you’re still being a loving, good man.
You’re not becoming needy and desperate about it (e.g. begging and pleading with her and saying things like, “Please meet up with me just this once!!” or “I really need to see you. Please just say yes to meeting for coffee. I can’t live without you”), or getting angry and aggressive with her (e.g. saying something like, “Why are you being such a bitch? I’m trying to be nice here and you’re just being a hard case. Why are you playing hard to get? It’s just a damn coffee. Meet up with me!!!”).
Instead, you are confident, relaxed and masculine and are simply being the more emotionally courageous one of the two of you who has the strength to get the relationship back together in a loving way.
That’s what using loving dominance is all about and women love it when a man has the ability to do it all the time.
Women just want to relax and be lead into deeper feelings for you, based on how emotionally strong, relaxed and confident you are around her.
That’s a dream scenario for a woman and when she meets a man like that, she never wants to let go.
So, the more you take the lead and guide her through the ex back process, the less she will be able to keep pushing you away.
While guiding her back into a relationship, be sure to avoid the following classic mistakes that many guys make…
1. Doing the opposite of being lovingly dominant and turning into an emotional wimp
If a woman says to a guy, “I’m not sure if I want to meet up with you for coffee. I don’t know how I feel about you anymore,” he might decide that the only way to convince her that they are meant to be together is by repeatedly expressing his love and need for her, to the point where he comes across as being desperate.
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He might say to her, “I know that you’re not sure if you want to see me again, but that’s because you don’t understand how much I love you. When you realize that my love for you is more powerful than anything you can ever experience with another guy, you will change your mind. All I ask is for you to meet up with me so that I can show you that things really can be different between us this time. If you loved me even just a little bit, you will at least grant me this one thing. Please baby, I need you. You mean everything to me. Don’t push me away anymore. All I ask for is one chance to make things right between us. Can’t you see that there’s nothing that can make me stop loving you? Please meet up with me. Please…”
Yet, here’s the thing…
If a woman has pushed her feelings of love, respect and attraction into the background (and her ex hasn’t done anything to respark those feelings other than plead with her) she’s not going to care that he’s still in love with her.
Instead, she’ll be thinking something like, “Why is he acting like this? Doesn’t he realize that him being needy and desperate only turns me off more? Even if I was willing to change my mind about meeting up with him, I’m now convinced that I made the right decision by breaking up with him. I need a man I can look up to and respect, not an emotional wimp who can’t even take no to meeting up for a cup of coffee without falling apart. He’s just not a man yet. I don’t have time to waste hoping that he’ll grow up one day and become one, so I’m moving on.”
So, if you beg and plead and try to get your ex back by telling her how much you love and need her, she will perceive you as not being man enough for her and will keep rejecting you.
On the other hand, when you use loving dominance (i.e. being in control of your emotions, while confidently and lovingly guiding her back into a relationship), she will begin to see you with different eyes.
The idea of seeing you again in person will feel good to her.
She will want to be around you because you’re now offering a dream scenario for a woman that is so rare.
Most guys out there simply don’t know how to continually be a loving, dominant man…and women know it.
So, when your ex senses that you’ve suddenly developed that ability, she will naturally feel drawn to you, even if she is trying to talk herself out of it.
Another classis mistake that guys make is…
2. Letting her dominate him and the situation
If a guy can’t maintain his confidence, it’s very easy for a woman to get the upper hand and dominate him and the situation.
For example: One of the ways a woman might do that to her ex is by constantly bringing up past mistakes and trying to make him feel bad about it.
She might say things like, “You really stuffed up. Do you honestly think I’m just going to forget about everything you put me through and forgive you just because you said that you’re sorry? Well that’s not how it works. You were such a jerk to me. I can’t believe you want me to just forget about all of that, rush over and meet you for coffee so we can be best friends forever.”
If he keeps saying things like, “I’m so sorry. How many times must I apologize before you can forgive me?” she will lose even more respect for him for not standing up for himself.
When a woman dominates a guy in this way, she can’t look up to him and respect him.
If she can’t respect him, she also can’t feel real sexual attraction for him and without these two things it becomes difficult (if not impossible) to have a relationship.
So, to get your ex back, it is important that you remain emotionally dominant when interacting with her to regain and then maintain her respect.
If your ex keeps bringing up all your past mistakes and talks down to you like you’re a child, you need to use loving dominance to show her that you’re more of an emotionally mature man than she’s giving you credit for.
For example: You might say to her in a gentle, loving way, “Yes, you’re right. I did stuff up. However, that’s in the past. I’ve apologized sincerely to you, so there’s no need to keep bringing it up. I’m not a little boy that needs to be put in his place. Sure I made a mistake or two, but that’s over now. I’m not that guy anymore and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t keep bringing it up all the time.”
You can also laugh (important) and say in a joking, easy-going way, “Okay, enough! That’s probably the 50th time you’ve said that to me. How many more times do you want to say it? Are you aiming for 100? Maybe when you reach 100, we need to get you a medal or a trophy and congratulate you for being a broken record” and then laugh with her about that.
Then, you might say something like, “Okay, how about we try this just for a minute or two. Pretend that we’ve only just met and we weren’t together before. You can get to know the new me, rather than keep thinking about the old me and feeling angry or annoyed at him. You might actually be surprised that the new me isn’t like the old me.”
By saying something like that to her, you’re establishing your role as a loving, dominant man, which will shock her and surprise her in a good way.
She won’t be able to stop herself from feeling feminine and girly in contrast to your masculine approach to the interaction.
She will then drop her guard and open herself up to the idea of meeting up with you in person.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Referring to her as being stubborn
When a woman refuses to meet up with her ex, he might get a bit annoyed with her, or in some extreme cases, even get angry at her.
He might say to himself, “What’s wrong with her? Why is she being so stubborn? All I want to do is to see her again. She doesn’t have to be such a bitch about it. After all we’ve been through, she could at least do this for me. She’s like a completely different person now. She’s so damn stubborn now.”
However, she’s not actually being stubborn.
She’s only being that way because he lacks the balls to lovingly dominate her and isn’t strong enough to pass her tests of his confidence.
The fact is, a woman wants to know that if she’s going to take the risk of getting back together again with her ex, he’s not going to be the same guy, making the same mistakes that she broke up with him for.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he was insecure and self-doubting in the relationship with her, she now wants to see that he’s confident and self-assured now matter how cold, distant or difficult she is being with him.
Another example is if a guy got broken up with for being too nice and being a pushover who she walked all over, controlled and belittled.
For the woman to open herself up to him again, she needs to see that he is now more ballsy and can stand up for himself in a loving, but dominant way.
Whatever the case is for you, calling your ex stubborn isn’t going to make her come running back.
Instead, she will likely just act even more stubborn to see if you will crack under the pressure of her rejection.
That’s what women do.
They want to see how confident you really are because they have an instinctive need to be with a man who makes them feel safe, due to his ability to handle challenging situations and people.
So, if you want to get her back, don’t waste time worrying about her every reaction, reading into her texts or wondering what she meant when she said this or that.
Just focus on using every interaction you have with her (e.g. via text, on social media, over the phone, in person) to renew her feelings of respect and attraction for you by being a loving, dominant man.
Remember: Being a loving, dominant man in a relationship isn’t about being in control of everything all the time and bossing your woman around in a demanding way.
Instead, you simply need to show her that you now have the ability to be lovingly dominant and emotionally masculine in a way that makes her feel feminine.
When she sees that, she can then relax and trust that you really are the man now.
When that happens, she will start to respect you, become open to feeling attracted to you again and naturally begin to reconnect with her old feelings of love for you.
So, to get your ex woman back, it’s essential that you confidently take charge and lead the way, thereby allowing her to relax into being an emotional, feminine woman around you.
That’s what women want.
Many women act like they want to be in charge or in control, but secretly, they just want a man who has the balls to be a loving, dominant man no matter what she says or does.
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