If your ex asks for space, give her 3 to 7 days where both you and her cut off all communication.
Then, contact her via text or on the phone to create a spark and reactivate her feelings for you again.
When you interact with her, try to get her to meet up with you in person.
If she still says something like, “It’s only been a week. I still need more time to figure things out,” or “You’re not giving me enough space,” tell her that you will call her in a week and try to arrange a time to catch up.
You can say something like, “Okay, no problem if you need more space, I am happy to give that to you. I’ll call you again in a week’s time to say hello, or goodbye, if that’s what you really want.”
That way, you’re still giving her the space she asked for and are also making it clear to her that you’re not pushing her to make a decision about the relationship right now.
After a week, contact her via a phone call (not text) and get her laughing and smiling when you call.
For example: Rather than call her up and say something like, “Hi…well, I said that I’d call in a week so here I am. What have you decided about us?” which will likely only make her respond by saying, “I need more time,” or give her a chance to tell you that it’s over, focus on making her smile from the get go.
In a joking manner you can say to her, “Hey…how you are going? Well, we said we would speak for a week, so that has passed. I’m outside your front door and ready to have some coffee.”
She will most likely respond by sounding quite shocked and she may say, “What are you talking about? Why are you here at my house? I’m not ready to see you yet!”
You can then laugh and say, “No, I’m not at your door yet, but I’ll be arriving in the next 15 minutes…that way you have enough time to fix your hair and put on some lipstick.”
Then laugh again and say, “Just kidding. I’m not on my way. You know that I wouldn’t do something like that. We agreed to have some space. Anyway, so how are you?”
She will then most likely laugh about getting caught out with your joke and begin to wonder about your sudden change in attitude.
She will feel curious about your newfound ability to remain confident and relaxed regardless of the situation (i.e. her asking you for space), and she will naturally begin to feel some respect and attraction for you again.
When experiences a transformation of her perception of you in this way, she then begins to opens up to the idea of meeting up in person to see what else is different about you.
From there, just get her to meet up with you and make her feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction by continuing to say and do the types of things that are attractive to her.
Once you do that, you just need to continue going through the rest of the quick ex back process to fully get her back into a relationship with you.
Don’t Let Fear Stop You From Getting Her to Meet Up With You
Sometimes, a woman won’t instantly agree to a meet up with her ex after a break up, especially if she has asked for space because the guy has been clingy, needy and possessive.
For example: She might say something like, “I’m not ready to see you again,” or “Why should we meet up in person? What’s the point when we can say whatever needs to be said over the phone.”
When this happens, a lot of guys lose hope that they won’t be able to re-attract their ex in person.
A guy will begin to assume that just because she’s not jumping at the idea of getting together, she’s likely made her decision to stay broken up.
He might then just stop asking her for a meet up, because he’s afraid of coming across as being too pushy or needy.
He may then try to justify his decision to back off by thinking, “Well, at least she’s talking to me on the phone. That’s not so bad. As long as she’s still willing to talk to me, there’s still a chance that she will eventually want to see me again when she feels ready.”
Yet, in most cases, the more time that a woman has apart from her ex, the more time she has to get over him and move on with someone else.
So, don’t ever think that pushing for a meet up is a bad thing.
It’s not needy or wrong to secure a mature, emotionally rational and friendly meet up, as long as you are being loving, light-hearted and good to her on the phone and in person.
What usually makes a woman refuse to meet up with her ex when he asks is because he is behaving in ways that are unattractive to her.
For example: A guy might…
- Demand that she meet up with him.
Sometimes, when a guy asks his ex for a meet up and she keeps refusing and saying, “I’m just not ready to see you yet. I need more time,” he might respond by getting annoyed.
He may start shouting and saying things like, “How can you say you’re not ready to see me yet? I’ve already given you enough space, how much more time do you need?! Why won’t you meet up with me? I’m not going to take no for an answer you know?! You have to meet up with me. You owe me that much. Stop being so stubborn about this. What happened to the loving girl that I used to know? You are better than this. Just have some heart and meet up with me once.”
Usually, the guy is only reacting like that because he’s afraid that if she won’t agree to seeing him face-to-face now, he will lose her forever.
So, when she’s pushing him away and refusing to meet up with him, he’s may be thinking, “She doesn’t want to see me because she doesn’t want to get back together again,” or even, “What if she’s met someone else? Could that be the reason why she isn’t willing to see me?”
However, a guy getting annoyed, or angry and making demands on a woman who has already asked him for space, is not a good idea. Why?
When a woman doesn’t feel a lot of respect, attraction and love for a guy after a break up, rather than realize that he’s only lashing out at her because of his fear of losing her, she will likely think, “Well, I see that nothing has really changed about him! He’s still the same guy I left…trying to push me around and control me, getting angry, demanding and wanting things his way. He still doesn’t care about my feelings and what I want. If I hadn’t made up my mind about getting back together with him before, this little outburst of his had definitely made things clear to me. I need to keep my distance from him, otherwise I don’t know how angry he might get and if I would even be safe around him any more.”
It’s a fact of modern life that a woman is not a man’s property.
A modern woman can choose whether or not she wants to meet up with her ex or be in a relationship with him.
So, pushing her and making demands is not what’s going to make your ex change her mind about meeting up with you.
What you need to do instead is focus on making her feel attracted and happy to be talking to you on the phone, so that she will then be the one asking you for a meet up, because the idea of seeing you again fills her with excitement and enjoyable curiosity.
- Act needy or desperate.
Whilst some guys react by becoming demanding and aggressive when a woman says that she doesn’t want to meet up, other guys might reacting in needy or desperate ways.
For example: A needy, desperate guy might say, “I can’t deal with the pain of waiting to see you again. It hurts so much to not see you. Please baby, I need you. I can’t live like this much longer. My life is empty without you. I don’t see the point in living or doing anything unless I have you. Please, let’s just work things out and get back to the way things used to be between us.”
Yet, rather than melt a woman’s heart and make her think, “Why am I doing this to him? He’s such a sweet guy and he loves me so much. I’m just being cold and heartless here,” she will likely be thinking, “The way that things used to be between us was a horrible experience for me. You might have been happy, but I wasn’t. Clearly you don’t even know what you’ve been doing wrong to have turned me off all this time. You’re still the same needy, insecure guy, yet you want me to meet up with you and give you another chance. No way!”
So, in response to his neediness, she will likely just keep pushing him away by saying, “I just need more time apart. I need space. I will meet up with you later, but not now. I think I need another month to think things through.”
Yet, secretly, she will be trying to find a confident guy to replace him with, so she can then say, “Sorry, I am in love with someone else now. He doesn’t want you contacting me. Please respect that and leave us alone.”
- Plead with her to tell him why she won’t meet up with him.
When a guy is trying to meet up with his ex and she keeps saying, “No,” it’s natural that he will want to know why.
He might then start pleading with her and asking, “Why won’t you meet up with me? Please just tell me what you want and I’ll do it. I really want to see you. Just tell me why you won’t meet up with me. I will fix whatever it is that you want. Just tell me. Give me something to work with here. Please!”
However, in most cases, a woman isn’t going to explain her reasons to him. Why?
Basically, if the guy hasn’t been doing anything to renew her feelings of respect and attraction again, she’s simply not going to want to see him.
He will have feelings for her, but she won’t have any feelings for him, so there will be no motivation for her to want to meet up with.
Of course, she’s usually not going to tell him that, because a woman doesn’t want to be a guy’s teacher in life about how to be a man and how to have a successful relationship.
She doesn’t want to take him by the hand and guide him through the steps of what it takes to be the kind of man that is attractive to her.
So, by pleading with her to explain why she doesn’t want to meet up with him, the guy is essentially telling her that he’s unable to work it out how to be a man by himself.
…and that is a huge turn off to a woman, especially after a break up.
How to Get Her to Meet Up With You
If you keep giving your ex space and waiting for her to give you the “go ahead” when she’s ready to talk to you again, you could end up waiting forever, while she happily moves on with her life without you.
If your want her back ASAP, it’s up to you to make it happen.
So, here is how to get her to agree to a meet up with you…
Call your ex up on the phone.
If you’re not sure if she will talk to you, just call her and if she doesn’t answer, send her a text saying something like, “Hey Lucy – I tried to call you because there’s something important that I want to ask you over the phone. Don’t worry, it’s just a quick question. Anyway, it seems that you’re busy at the moment, so I’ll try again some other time.”
In most cases, the woman will either call back, or text you back a reply to ask what you want.
Whatever the case, just get her on a phone call.
Then, when you get her on the phone, you’ve got to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you by making her laugh and feel good.
If she still says that she doesn’t want to meet up with you, you can say something along the lines of, “I just want to catch up with you for a quick coffee as a friend. All I’m asking for is that we get together for a quick cup of coffee, or a quick bite to eat to say hello as friends. If you don’t want to do that, we can get together and say a simple goodbye to each other and then never talk to each other again. That’s fine with me if that’s what you want.”
In most cases, a woman will usually agree because she will be able to see it as an opportunity to get closure.
Of course, getting her to agree to a meet up is only the beginning of getting her back.
When you meet up with her in person, you must to get her to experience the new and improved version of you, so she can see that you really have changed.
When you actively make her have some feelings (e.g. respect, attraction and love) for you again, she will start to relax her guard and open back up to you.
Even if her intention to meet up with you was to say goodbye, after a while she will begin to think, “I know that I came here to tell my ex that it’s really over between us, but I’m not so sure about that anymore. He really has changed. I feel differently when I’m around him now. I feel happy. It’s fun to be talking to him again. Maybe we should see each other again.”
That’s what you want her to be thinking and feeling.
So, don’t waste another day giving your ex space because she asked for it.
If you’ve been waiting for longer than 3 to 7 days, you don’t have any more time to lose.
Don’t waste another day hoping the giving her more space will solve the problems between you.
What you need to do is actively make her have feelings for you again by interacting with her on a phone call and in person.