Here are 5 ways you can make that happen:
1. Start projecting a more confident, independent energy
When a guy is trying to get his ex woman back that he works with, he will often make the mistake of seeming a bit lonely, lost or lacking in confidence now that she has broken up with him.
Don’t make that mistake.
Women are naturally attracted and drawn to the confidence in men, so when you begin to project a more confident, emotionally independent energy, she will naturally begin to look at you in a different light.
Let her see that even though you still have feelings for her and want her back, you don’t actually need her back to feel emotionally secure, fulfilled and happy again.
Let her see that you are confident, emotionally secure and happy without her.
You’re focused on your work, doing well and getting along well with others.
Yes, you want her back, but you don’t need her back.
For example: Imagine how a woman would feel if she broke up with a guy that she works with and he then walks around the workplace looking sad, depressed and unable to cope without her.
He also begins letting coworkers know that it’s because he has a broken heart and is trying hard to get her back.
Will she be thinking, “Oh, that’s so sweet! He’s a wreck without me. I feel so flattered now that everyone here at work can see how much I still mean to him. Maybe I should give him another chance because of that,” or will she be thinking things like, “Why is he making this more difficult than it needs to be? I’m trying to be nice and professional, but he seems to be acting weird around me. Maybe I should see if I can get a transfer to another department, or convince my manager to transfer him somewhere else?”
So, if you want to re-attract your ex, you need to show her that you’re not sitting around feeling sad, lonely and lost without her.
Instead, you are now emotionally independent and feel good about yourself, your job and your life in general.
Don’t tell her that, of course.
Instead, simply let her feel that and see that based on how you talk, feel, think, behave and act in the workplace.
Don’t overdo it though.
Just let her get the sense that you really are happy, confident, forward moving and emotionally secure.
No need to be loud about it and say, “I’m so happy now that we’ve broken up. Her breaking up with my was a gift. I’m so much more confident without her.”
That won’t work.
In fact, it will likely backfire because she will feel as though you are trying to ruin her reputation in the workplace.
So, just let her sense your confidence, happiness and emotional security based on how you talk, behave and act in general.
Then, even though she probably won’t openly admit it to you, she will begin to experience surges of respect for you again.
She will be impress that you are being an emotionally strong, independent man who is handling the break up in such a mature way (i.e. You’re not rubbing your happiness in her face or trying to tarnish her name. Instead, you are simply getting on with your work and professionally and confidently interacting with others).
When she starts respecting you again, she will also start to feel some attraction and that is the opening you need to begin getting her back for real.
The next thing you can do to get an ex back that you work with is…
2. Use in person interactions to flirt discreetly and create a spark
If you want her to have a romantic interest in you again, it’s essential that you build up some sexual tension between you and her.
Of course, because you and her are in the workplace, you can’t blatantly start acting in a sexual manner because she will likely feel embarrassed about what others might think, or you could get into trouble with management or HR.
Yet, you do need to flirt with her if you want her to have a romantic interest in you again.
So, to avoid getting into trouble, you need to be subtle and discreet about your flirting.
Here’s an example …
Imagine that you bump into your ex getting a cup of coffee in the workplace kitchen.
Rather than just say, “Oh, hello. How are you today?” which will do nothing to spark her feelings, you can instead say in a confident, flirtatious tone of voice, “Thanks, I’ll have a cup too. You know how I like mine” and have a laugh with her about it.
Now, if your ex has her guard up or is worried about flirting with you in the workplace, she might get a bit defensive and say something along the lines of, “We’re not a couple anymore. You can’t talk to me like that” or, “Make your own coffee. Why are you even asking me to make you a coffee?”
If she does react in that way, just smile, have a little laugh and say, “Relax. We are coworkers and are allowed to talk to each other and joke around about things. Besides, you always make the best coffee. So, can you make me one?”
She may then say something like, “Oh, okay, but only this once.”
You can then continue flirting with her by saying something like, “Of course, you make great coffee, but you can’t cook/run/sing (use an example of something your ex doesn’t do very well) to save your life” and have a laugh with her about that.
At this point she will likely be smiling, laughing and maybe even saying, “Hey! I’m not that bad at (whatever you said she couldn’t do very well)!” or she will just laugh and get on with making the coffee.
As a result, she will be feeling relaxed in your company and will be enjoying the interaction.
She will also be feeling surges of respect and attraction for you being confident enough to flirt with her in that way, while still maintaining the professional boundaries of the working environment.
She can then begin to think, “Hmmm…I haven’t felt this way about him in such a long time. It feels good to interact with him like this now. I like this feeling and I don’t want to lose it. Maybe we can work things out after all. Maybe I need to open back up to him.”
3. Once she is attracted to you again, build on the tension
Once she is feeling attracted to you based on some subtle flirting, go back to acting like friendly coworkers again for an hour or two (e.g. only talking about business related subjects with her when you run into her).
A little later, go back to lightly flirting with her and using humor to make her feel good to be around you.
Note: If you don’t see her that often, then switch between flirting and being friendly every day.
One day, add in some flirting and the next day, just be friendly and professional.
This builds up the exciting feeling of anticipation inside of her and gets her wondering, “Why do I suddenly feel excited about coming to work every day and hoping that I will see him? Why am I disappointed when he doesn’t tease me or make a joke and acts serious and professional with me? Why am I even thinking like this around him? We’re supposed to be broken up! I really thought I was over him but now I’m so confused. How can I make him want to flirt with me more? Maybe I need to show him some more interest.”
As a result, getting back together becomes something that she wants to do.
It’s no longer about you trying to convince her to hopefully give you another chance.
Instead, you end up allowing her to have another chance with you that she clearly wants.
So, if you’ve been thinking, “I work with my ex and I want her back” then don’t overlook the power of flirting.
It really does work.
Just make sure that you keep it subtle.
Here are some examples of flirting in the workplace that I shared in a video for guys who wanted to pick up new women.
This video isn’t about getting an ex back, but it’s still about flirting in the workplace, so you will find helpful too.
Here is a video of mine that is specifically about getting an ex back…
Once you’ve built up enough sexual tension between you and her, you can then take the next step…
4. Get her to grab a coffee or some lunch with you
After a few days of making her feel attracted again, you can say something along the lines of, “Hey, let’s grab some lunch/coffee in the cafeteria this afternoon. It’ll be good to catch up as friends.”
Important: Say that to her in person. Don’t send her an email.
Many guys get themselves into trouble with ex women by emailing them in the workplace.
The woman then shows the email to her manager or to HR (Human Resources) and the guy gets into trouble for ‘harassing’ her.
So, don’t make the mistake of putting anything in writing.
Say the following in a friendly, easy-going and confident manner when you are talking to her and she has been feeling attracted to you, “Hey, let’s grab some lunch/coffee in the cafeteria this afternoon. It’ll be good to catch up as friends.”
Don’t say it BEFORE you’ve flirted with her and made her feel attracted to you again.
Make her feel attracted to you again and THEN suggest a friendly catch up for lunch or afternoon coffee.
By the way…
Don’t lose confidence in yourself if she initially says something like, “No, I don’t think we should do that,” or “No. I don’t want people at work to see us together and start thinking that we’re a couple again,” because she will be most likely testing to see if you’ll give up and become insecure at the first sign of resistance from her.
She might also initially resist to make sure that she’s not seeming too easy to get back into a relationship.
Many women know that if they catch up with their ex guy, he will almost certainly be able to seduce them back into a relationship.
When you say something like, “Hey, let’s catch up as friends” she may be thinking, “If I say yes, then I’m going to fall for him again and we’re going to get back together.”
So, if she initially says, “No” to your request, make sure that you don’t lose confidence in yourself, get annoyed, beg and plead with her or worse, give up and think that you can’t get her back.
Instead, just remain calm, smile, have a little laugh and say in a joking manner, “Relax, you’re making a big deal out of nothing. No one will think that we’re getting back together again. We’re just friends now and we can have some lunch/coffee together if we want to. Besides, it’s not like we’re talking about having candlelit dinner at some fancy restaurant. It’s just a coffee as friends or as coworkers. We can do that.”
When you catch up for a coffee or some lunch, make sure that you…
5. Don’t ask for a relationship. Just build up the sexual tension between you and her
If things go well during lunch (e.g. she’s laughing, smiling, saying things like, “It’s nice to be doing this with you again” or, “You’ve changed. I like the new you”), you might be tempted to ask her if she will give you another chance.
Don’t make that mistake.
If you push to get back into a relationship before she’s feeling ready, you will likely cause her to pull away and close herself off once again.
Then, it will be about you trying to convince her to change her mind and give the relationship another chance.
So, don’t put that kind of pressure on her.
Instead, just focus on having an enjoyable lunch with her, while building some more sexual tension between you and her.
How can you do that?
By flirting with her a little bit, making her laugh and then going back to interacting with her in a normal, friendly manner.
For example: Imagine that you and her are sitting together at a table in the company cafeteria, or you’re out at a local coffee shop having a coffee together.
She happens to be drinking a cappuccino.
To flirt with her, you can say something, “Haha…you’ve got a foam mustache going on! You look so cute…let me get it for you” and then lean over and wipe her mouth with your napkin.
She will likely blush and feel a bit self-conscious, while at the same time also feeling drawn to how girly you’re making her feel in comparison to your masculinity (i.e. that you have the balls to see her as the girl and you as the man who will take care of her and wipe the foam from the cappuccino off her lip).
Then, lean back and continue talking normally as if nothing happened.
She will be impressed and attracted because she will be feeling girly in comparison to you.
Then, once you sense things have calmed down between you, flirt with her again (e.g. playfully tease her about something, tell her that she smells good, touch her hand in passing or lean forward and gently move her hair out of her face) and then relax back into ordinary conversation once more.
As a result, sexual tension will build up between you and her.
Even if she doesn’t openly admit it, she will be feeling excited and will want you to continue flirting and making her feel attracted.
You can then suggest meeting up later when you’re both not at work.
When you meet up outside of work, just continue building up tension and get her to the point where she wants you make a move to hug her, kiss her and then release that tension with sex.
You can then go back to your place or hers (if you’re not there already), have sex with her and get back into a relationship.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Trying to Get an Ex Back in the Workplace
Trying to get an ex back that you work with doesn’t have to be difficult.
However, because you risk not only losing your ex for good, but also your job, you need to make sure you don’t make the following mistakes when trying to get her back:
1. Losing confidence at work
If a guy allows a break up get him down, not only will it be difficult for him to re-attract her (i.e. because women are instinctively turned off by emotional weakness in men), but his work will also start to suffer.
For example: If he’s at a meeting and his ex is there too, he might feel nervous and insecure and not have his say like he used to.
Alternatively, if there’s a project that requires him to work with his ex, it might be difficult for him to co-operate with her effectively, because he feels uncertain and self-conscious around her.
Naturally, if this goes on for too long, it can impact the quality of his work and may come to the attention of his boss, which could result in him being demoted, warned, transferred to another department or even fired.
So, don’t let that happen to you.
Make sure that you maintain your confidence around your ex, regardless of how bad you might feel about losing her.
Not only will she feel respect and attraction for you for staying emotionally strong despite what happened between you, but you’ll also gain the respect of everyone at work who knows about what happened.
The next mistake is…
2. Appearing dejected, sad or lonely
There’s a good reason why a lot of companies discourage (and in some cases, forbid) their employees from dating each other.
Essentially, they want to avoid the fallout from when a relationship doesn’t work (e.g. the employee stops pulling their weight at work, they cause coworkers to feel uncomfortable).
So, if a guy walks around the workplace looking sad, dejected and lonely after his break up, it will inevitably start to cause problems.
Firstly, his colleagues and work friends will begin to feel uncomfortable around him and they may begin ignoring him and excluding him from out of work get-togethers.
This will result in him feeling even more dejected and alone.
Then, his ex will likely begin feeling embarrassed by his behavior, which will cause her to distance herself from him even more.
The next mistake is…
3. Being afraid to discreetly flirt with her
Sometimes a guy will be afraid to discreetly flirt with his ex, because he assumes that flirting means harassment.
Flirting is not harassment.
Harassment (i.e. begging, pleading, being sexually aggressive) is harassment.
Flirting in a subtle, discreet and professional manner is not harassment.
It’s just two, professional, mature human beings communicating with each other in a playful, innocent, friendly manner, with subtly romantic undertones that are not harmful to themselves or others.
Yet, despite that, many guys are still too afraid to flirt in a discreet manner.
So, a guy will only talk to his ex woman in a friendly, professional manner and hope that she somehow changes her mind.
However, in most cases she won’t because he’s not doing anything to spark her sexual and romantic feelings for him.
He’s just causing her to feel neutral around him or worse, turned off even further because there’s clearly no spark between them anymore.
So, if he then suggests getting back together she says something like, “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel that way about you anymore. I’m fine being friends and coworkers, but getting back together is out of the question. Please don’t ever ask me that again, or I will have to go to management and complain.”
This is why, if you want to get your ex back, you have to spark her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you first.
When you do that, she then has a reason to get back with you, or at least catch up with you outside the workplace to explore her newfound feelings.
So, don’t go around treating her like a neutral friend and then expect her to feel turned on.
The next mistake is…
4. Trying to get her back via e-mail
Using e-mail to get an ex back might seem like the safest option, especially when you and your ex work together (i.e. you don’t want to be seen talking to her in person).
Yet, for number of reasons, emailing your ex at work is not as safe as you might think.
The first reason why is that emails at work can easily be seen by management or HR, or be seen by a nosey coworker who is looking over her shoulder at work or happens to look at your screen when you’re typing the email.
Not only can that cause you and her embarrassment, but it could even result in disciplinary action (or get you fired).
The second reason why is because emails can easily be misinterpreted in a negative tone of voice, even though you sent it while thinking in a positive tone of voice.
The third reason why is that a woman can assume that her ex is emailing her because he’s too afraid to man up and talk to her in person.
She then feels even more turned off by him and more motivated to stay broken up.
The next mistake is…
5. Waiting too long to make a move and she then moves on
Sometimes, a guy will assume that because he and his ex work together, it would be better if he takes things very slow with her, rather than trying to get her back within 2-3 weeks.
Yet, here’s the thing…
If you ignore her or ‘play it cool’ and don’t actively spark her feelings of romantic and sexual attraction for you, someone else will.
Then, by the time you get around to making a move, she will likely say something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, but I thought what we had was over. You kept your distance from me, so I took that as a sign to move on. I have a new boyfriend now and I’m happy, so let’s just keep things professional between us from now on.”
So, if you want to get her back, make a move.
You can re-attract her, seduce her and get her back.
You have opportunities to do that almost every time you see her at work.
So, make the most of the opportunity you have.
Re-attract her, seduce her and get her back.