5 possible reasons why:
1. You don’t have any reason to be hopeful because everything you’ve tried to do to get her back hasn’t worked…until now
If a woman breaks up with a guy who is still in love with her and doesn’t want to lose her, chances are high that he will panic and quickly try to change her mind.
As a result, he will end up behaving in ways that push her away even faster. he ends up reacting in a way that makes him appear even less attractive in her eyes.
For example:
- He begs and pleads and in some cases, even cries to her to make her change her mind. Unfortunately, rather than make her think something like, “He’s so broken up about this. I never realized he loved me so much. Maybe I should give him another chance after all,” she usually just perceives him as being too emotionally weak and sensitive for her and she feels even more turned off by him than before.
- He promises to change and become the man she wants him to be if only she will just give him another chance. However, in most cases, the woman has already given the guy plenty of chances to change before she decided to break up with him, but he never did. As a result, she doesn’t believe he can change, so she doesn’t feel motivated to give him another chance.
- He tries to romance her back into his life by buying her thoughtful gifts, flowers or chocolates. In some cases, he might even help her out financially. However, he doesn’t change anything else about himself and doesn’t realize that a woman doesn’t fall in love with a guy because of what he can buy for her, but rather for how he makes her feel when she’s with him.
- He asks her to tell him what he needs to do to make her happy in the relationship with him. This makes her feel like she made a mistake getting into a relationship with him in the first place, because he doesn’t even yet know how to be a man. As a result, she rejects him and sticks to her decision to be broken up with him.
- He sends her a long letter, e-mail or series or text messages telling her how much he still loves her and how he can’t live without her. Yet, because she no longer has feelings for him, she doesn’t care. Instead, she focuses on how she feels and what she wants.
- He gets angry with her and accuses her of being heartless. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior makes him appear unstable and it just convinces her even more that she’s made the right decision.
- He cuts off all contact with her in the hope that she will miss him and come running back. However, that approach only works if a woman is still in love with her ex and secretly wants them to get back together again. If she doesn’t, she will simply use the time apart to fully get over him and move on.
- Of course, if you’ve reacted in any of these ways, your ex woman will have likely rejected your attempts to get her back and naturally you might currently be feeling depressed about it.
You may even be thinking things like, “I’ve tried absolutely everything and nothing has worked! It’s hopeless. I’ve lost her forever, even though she was the love of my life. How am I ever going to recover from that?”
The good news is that you can recover and you can even get your ex back if you want to, because you almost certainly didn’t try getting her back with the one approach that works practically 100% of the time.
What is that approach?
Interact with her and reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you, so she feels compelled to open back up to you and give you another chance based on who you are now.
When she can see for herself that you truly have leveled up as a man in the 6 months that you’ve been apart (e.g. you don’t lose your confidence around her anymore even when she’s being cold, distant or even hostile towards you, you’re more manly and this makes her feel feminine and girly in your presence, you’re more emotionally independent and are making progress in your life without her) she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling respect for you again.
When she starts respecting you again, she then also begins to feel sexually attracted to you again.
When those two emotions are reactivated, it becomes difficult for her to stay closed off towards you for very long.
She feels drawn to you and realizes that what you and her had together isn’t over, even though she initially may have thought that it was.
There is clearly still a spark between you and she starts to worry that if she ignores it and lets you go, she may end up regretting it for the rest of her life.
As a result, she drops her defenses and she becomes open to talking to you more, meeting up with you in person and seeing how she feels about being your girl again.
So, don’t give up and don’t get lost in a sea of depression.
Give yourself one more chance to get her back.
You will be happy you did when she’s back in your arms again and the past 6 months become a distant memory.
Another possible reason why you’re still depressed 6 months after being broken up with is…
2. She became the most important person and possibly the most important thing in your life
Some guys mistakenly believe that in order for a woman to be happy and feel loved and appreciated in the relationship with him, he needs to make her the center of his world.
For example: A guy like that might…
- Stop focusing on his goals and dreams and instead, devote all of his attention and spare time to being with her.
- Give up his interests and hobbies and only do things if they can do them together.
- Stop hanging out with his friends, unless he can bring her along too.
- Avoid doing anything on his own and depends solely on her for his support, direction and purpose.
Eventually, she becomes the most important thing in his life and his main reason for living and he struggles to do anything without her presence, say-so and approval.
So, it’s only natural, that when she then breaks up with him, his main reason for living disappears as well, leaving him feeling hopeless and depressed.
He may even start thinking things like, “She was everything to me and without her I’m nothing. I don’t even feel like getting out of bed in the morning because I know she won’t be there anymore. I feel so lost. What did I do wrong? I really believed I gave her my all but I guess I wasn’t enough.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
He was enough, but he went about the relationship in the wrong way (i.e. he made his woman the most important thing in his life, rather than just the most important person).
The fact is, a woman doesn’t want to be a man’s most important thing, mission, dream or ambition.
Yes, she wants to be the most important person in his life and be made to feel loved and cared for, but the most important thing needs to be the pursuit of his dreams, goals and aspirations in life.
So, when a guy puts his woman above everything else in his life, chances are high he’s going to become clingy, needy and even suffocating.
He’s likely going to smother her and make her feel like she’s a bad person and doesn’t love him enough if she decides that she wants to hang out with her friends without him, or do something on her own (e.g. a hobby, sport).
So, even though she might take it for a while (in some cases even for months of years), eventually, she may begin to feel annoyed and frustrated in the relationship.
She might then begin pulling away from him, causing him to cling to her even more (i.e. because a guy like that often thinks he’s not giving her enough attention, even though the opposite is true).
She may then eventually break up with him and try to find herself a more emotionally independent, mature man to be with.
He will then almost certainly be left feeling devastated and struggle to get over her, even after months apart.
So, the question you need to ask yourself is: “Did I make my ex woman the center of my world and put all my attention on her to the detriment of everything else in my life (i.e. my goals, dreams and aspirations)?”
If your answer is “Yes,” then to stop feeling depressed and get her back, you have to change your approach with her.
You have to get to the point where you love her and want her back, but you don’t need her back in order to be happy and content in your life.
Some of the ways you can do that are by…
- Focusing on your big goals and dreams in life and begin working towards achieving them. If you don’t have any at the moment, make a list of things you always wanted to accomplish and take steps to make those things happen in your life.
- Reconnecting with friends that you have neglected because of your relationship with your ex, or focus on making new ones.
- Joining a meet up group in your area that does something you enjoy doing (e.g. dancing, gaming, discussing philosophy, hiking, wine tasting, running) and start having fun without your ex needing to be there.
- Pursuing a hobby or interest that you’ve been ignoring, but that you’ve always enjoyed doing.
- Starting something new that you always wanted to do (e.g. a new sport, hobby, learning about something that will improve your life), but always put off because of your relationship with your ex.
When you take your mind off the breakup with your ex and start living a good life without her, you automatically stop feeling depressed.
Additionally, you become more attractive to your ex and to other women as well.
You can then decide to get her back if you want to.
When you interact with your ex again (on a phone call, or in person), she will be able to sense that you’re not the same guy she broke up with 6 months ago and have become a more balanced, emotionally mature man who doesn’t need her back to be able to cope with life.
As a result, she will naturally begin to feel respect and attraction for you again.
You can then build on those feelings and get her back into a relationship with you that’s so much better than before, because you are now the kind of man she can look up to, respect, feel proud of and love, rather than being a clingy, needy guy who can’t make a move without her.
Another possible reason why you’re still depressed 6 months after being broken up with is…
3. You don’t have the confidence or know-how to attract a new, high quality woman that would be good enough to replace her
Being broken up with by the woman he loves can easily erode a man’s confidence in himself and his attractiveness to women.
He might then begin thinking things like, “I’m such a loser! If I couldn’t even hold on to my ex who said she loved me, what chance do I have of ever attracting another woman who doesn’t even know me? Besides, I can’t start over again with a new woman even if I wanted to. It’s just too hard and I’ve been out of the dating game too long. I wouldn’t even know where to start looking for a new woman or even what to do if I met her. It’s hopeless. I’m doomed to be single for the rest of my life.”
Yet, thinking like that only serves one purpose; to make him feel depressed and unworthy of his ex and other women.
If he then happens to interact with his ex, or goes out and meets other women, they immediately pick up on his negative feelings (i.e. it’s in the tonality of his voice, his body language, the way he talks about himself and how he seems so hesitant and unsure of himself around them) and feel turned off by him.
He then gets rejected, which only confirms to him that what he believes about himself is true.
Yet, here’s what a guy like that doesn’t realize…
A woman instinctively feels drawn to a guy who is confident, emotionally strong and believes in himself and in his value to her.
So, when a guy is being insecure and doesn’t believe that he’s good enough for her, it does nothing to spark her feelings for him and make her want to talk to him, have sex with him, date him or be in a relationship with him.
This is true whether a woman is someone he’s only just met, is in a relationship with him, or is his ex.
His confidence and belief in himself and in his value as a man is what attracts her and his insecurity, low self-esteem and self-doubt is what turns her off.
Of course, there are some women out there who prefer to be with an insecure man who doesn’t believe in himself (e.g. unattractive women, women who like to dominate guys when in a relationship), but the majority of women don’t.
This is why, if you want to stop being depressed and get your ex back, or find yourself a new, high quality woman, you have to start believing in yourself again.
You then need to go out and say and do the types of things that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. be more confident, make her laugh and smile and feel good to be around you, make her feel like a feminine woman in your presence).
When you do that, your ex’s feelings of respect and attraction for you will naturally begin to resurface, whether she wants them to or not.
You can then build on those feelings and get her back, or find an even better woman than her and move on if you want to.
The choice is yours.
Another possible reason why you’re still depressed 6 months after being broken up with is…
4. You’ve been jerking off to porn every time your sexual desire builds up
When a guy doesn’t take steps right away to get his ex back after a break up (or at least to move on and hook up with other women), it’s easy for him to fall into the habit of jerking off to porn for a quick fix, or a temporary distraction.
Yet, after he jerks off, he realizes that he’s still alone, stuck, miserable and depressed without her.
He might then jerk off again to take away the pain and basically get caught up in a negative cycle where he feels unhappy with the state of his life, but never really feels enough motivation to follow through and get his ex back, or attract a new, high quality woman.
So, if you’re stuck in a rut in your life where porn is your only sexual outlet, it’s time to break your dependence on that and get a real sex life, or love life going.
If you want that to be with your ex, then pick up the phone and begin the ex back process by making your ex laugh, smile and feel happy to be talking to you again.
Then, meet up with her in person, so you can fully reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings and make her want to give the relationship another chance.
If you want a new sex life or love life without your ex, then focus on finding a new, high quality woman to move on with.
Either way, staying home alone and jerking off to porn shouldn’t be your only option anymore.
Another possible reason why you’re still depressed 6 months after being broken up with is…
5. You assume that it would be too difficult to improve yourself to get her back or attract a new, high quality woman
Some guys make the mistake of thinking that to get an ex back, or find a new, even better woman than her, they have to become perfect.
A guy like that might think things like. “For a woman to feel attracted to me, I’m going to have to change everything about myself, starting with my physical appearance. I’m going to have to go to the gym and build some muscle, because all women love guys who are buff and also get myself a new wardrobe. I’m also going to have to change my hairstyle and more importantly, I probably need to start making more money and get myself a new, flashy car. Additionally, I will have to do romantic things, like buy flowers and gifts, because no woman is going to just accept me the way I am.”
He might then come to the conclusion that doing all that is just too much work and he might even think something along the lines of, “Why does it have to be so difficult to attract a woman? Why do I have to change myself? It’s just hopeless. I can’t be perfect no matter how much I want to. I’m never going to be what my ex wants me to be so that I can get her back, or to find myself a new woman.”
Yet, here’s what a guy like that doesn’t realize…
Even though most women appreciate a man who takes care of his physical appearance and also enjoy being spoiled or romanced, it’s not the main thing that makes her remain in love with him for life.
In fact, for most women, it’s the deeper, more subtle, long-lasting things that matter.
So, rather than need a guy to change everything about himself and become perfect (which is impossible because no one, not even her, is perfect), she just needs him to change his approach to attraction with her.
For example: Some of the things a woman will look for in a man are…
- Is he confident and emotionally strong regardless of what she says or does to make him feel unsure of himself around her, or does he fall apart when a woman isn’t being nice to him all the time?
- Does he treat her like a sexy, desirable woman, or does he treat her more like a buddy or roommate?
- Is he a bit of a challenge to her (e.g. he’s not always available to her, doesn’t get caught up in her drama, stands up to her in an assertive yet loving way) thereby making her feel like she has to work hard to keep him interested in her, or does he run after her like a puppy dog causing her to feel bored and like she doesn’t have to put in any effort at all?
- Does he believe in himself and in his value to her (and other women), or does he feel insecure and believe that she’s out of his league, which then makes him behave in a needy, clingy, controlling or jealous way with her?
- Does he know how to create a relationship dynamic where she feels loved and appreciated, but also feels motivated to be loving and devoted to him too, or is he too clingy or too controlling causing her to lose respect for him and want to pull away more and more?
These are the types of things that attract a woman to a man, make her want to be a good, loving woman to him and keep her in a relationship with him.
As you can likely see, you don’t have to go to extreme measures to re-attract your ex or find a new woman (i.e. become perfect).
Instead, you just need to change your approach.
When you improve your ability to make your ex feel attracted in new and more interesting and exciting ways (e.g. by being more emotionally masculine so she feels feminine and girly in your presence, maintaining your confidence with her regardless of what she says or does to make you feel unsure of yourself around her, by standing up to her in a dominant yet loving way when she tries to dominate you emotionally), she suddenly feels drawn to you.
It doesn’t matter how badly you stuffed up, or how complicated the breakup was.
What matters is how she feels now.
If she feels attracted and drawn to you now, then you’re getting her back.
That’s how it works.
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