If you’ve found yourself wondering, “Is my ex thinking about me?” you might be starting to fall into the trap of waiting around and hoping that she makes it obvious that she misses you or wants to get back together with you.
Waiting around like that can waste weeks, months or even years of your life and there’s no guarantee that she will actually miss you, contact you and ask to see you again.
So, what should you do instead?
If you want to get your ex back for real, what you need to do is actively get her to have feelings for you again.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he was insecure and wasn’t enough of a man for her, she will usually get right into a rebound relationship with a confident guy who is more capable of being the man she needs.
She might think about her ex from time to time, but her last impression of him will be fairly negative based on the fact that he was insecure and incapable of being the emotionally strong man she wants and needs, so while she might be ‘thinking’ about him at times, it doesn’t mean that she will be missing him.
To get her back, what a guy like that actually needs to do is get her on a phone call, apologize for his mistakes, switch the conversation to a more light-hearted vibe (i.e. by joking around, getting her smiling and laughing, etc) and then get her to agree to meet up with him in person.
At the meet up, he can then get her to experience the new and improved version of himself (i.e. he is confident, emotionally secure, more masculine in how he thinks, feels and behaves, etc) and talk about getting the relationship back together.
Don’t Waste Time Waiting For Things to Happen
Anything that you do prior to meeting up with your ex offers no guarantee that you will get her back. The only real way to change how she feels is to get her to experience the new and improved you in person.
So, don’t waste time with ‘what ifs,’ maybes and speculations like, “Is my ex thinking about me?”
If you want your ex to think about you and begin having feelings for you again, then get her on a phone call and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
When you get her to feel that way, she will then begin to think about you in a more positive light, compared to her current perception of you.
If you’re not sure what to say to get her to agree to meet up with you in person, I explain all of that in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
I provide tested examples of what to text to get her on a phone call if she’s currently not answering your calls, what to say on the phone to get her to agree to a meet up and what to say and do at the meet up to get her to experience a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Your Ex Isn’t the Same as Every Other Woman
Not all women approach a break up in exactly the same way.
For example: Some women will break up with a guy and stay in contact with him (e.g. text, click like or comment on his social media posts) to keep the lines of communication open for a while for different reasons.
She might do stay in contact because she wants to make sure that her ex is still interested and hoping to get back together with her, while she quietly begins to move on with her life (e.g. dating other men, testing out new relationships).
Sometimes, a woman will do that to get emotional revenge on her ex for how badly he made her feel during the relationship.
Alternatively, sometimes a woman will stay in contact with her because she’s still not sure if she wants to fully let him go.
Rather than moving on with another guy, she is hoping that a spark may relight between them and they will then get back together in a relationship that is much better than it ever was before.
Whatever the case is with you and your unique ex, one of the worst thing that you can ever to do is text back and forth like a friend with your ex, just to “stay in contact.”
When I help guys via my phone coaching service who are struggling to get their ex back, it’s almost always the case that the guy has been making the mistake of texting back and forth repeatedly with her about the relationship or about day-to-day life, (e.g. “How was your day?” or “Are you watching ____ on TV? It’s a great show” and that sort of thing).
In his mind, he hopes that if he just stays in touch with her like that, she will be thinking about him and therefore will more likely to want to get back together with him.
Yet, it doesn’t work.
I know this because I help new guys every day and I always hear of examples where texts and social media messages have been going back and forth for weeks and months at a time.
So, what I advise my clients and what I will advise you now is this…
What you actually need to do is respark her feelings for you on a phone call and in person. There’s no other way to get an ex back who currently doesn’t want to be with you.
It’s different if the woman really loves her ex, respects him and feels attracted to him, but has been hurt by something he did (e.g. cheated on her, didn’t commit, treated her badly at times, etc) and simply needs some time apart to heal.
In cases like that, it’s fine to text her or even give her space in cases like that, but those cases are very rare.
In 95% of the ex back cases that I deal with, a guy wants a woman back, but she currently doesn’t have enough feelings for him to justify giving the relationship another chance, or she literally hates him and doesn’t even want to talk to him or see him at all.
When a woman doesn’t want a guy back, he can’t get her back by texting with her like a friend or ignoring her with the No Contact Rule. He’s got to actively get her to have feelings for him by talking to her on the phone and meeting up with her in person.
Getting her to have feelings for you again is a 3-step process.
The first step is about getting her respect back.
A guy can do that by apologizing for his mistakes and showing her that he really has improved and changed a lot since the break up.
He might be able to show her that he has changed within days or it might take a couple of weeks. It really depends on him and what the issues were between him and her (e.g. he was too insecure, jealous or protective).
The second step is to get her to feel attracted again.
When a woman feels respect for you, her protective guard will begin to come down and she will allow herself to experience attraction to you again.
At that point, you need to get your ex to laugh and smile when she’s talking to you, by flirting with her, being light-hearted and cracking jokes, rather than having very serious, deep and meaningful conversations about the relationship.
The third step is to get her to reconnect with the love.
Once a woman feels respect and attraction for you, she will then naturally begin to reconnect with the love that she used to feel.
When a guy is able to guide a woman through that process over the phone and at a meet up, some women will get back together immediately, whereas other women will take one or two more meet ups before they feel enough respect, attraction and love to justify giving the relationship another chance.
It really depends on how bad the break up was and how much you are able to improve and change prior to talking to her on the phone and interacting with her in person.
If you watch my advanced training program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System, I will guide you through the process of rapidly fixing any emotional issues you have (e.g. insecurity) and becoming a better man than you already.
After watching the 10 hours of video from the program, most guys are ready to contact their ex immediately and arrange a meet up, but some guys need an extra few days or a week to do some of the activities that I recommend in my program, which are designed to rebuild a guy’s confidence and make him emotionally stronger and more attractive to his ex.
Meeting Up With Your Ex
Regardless of how much your ex has rejected you up to this point, one of the most important things that she needs to see is that you are confident in yourself and know that you are more than good enough for her.
Don’t need to rub that in her face by saying, “Hey, I’m confident and I know that I’m more than good enough for you.” Simply let her see that you feel that way by being confident and feeling welcome to flirt with her, get her laughing and make her feel attracted to you again.
When you make your ex feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you on the phone and in person, she will naturally begin to think about you in a more positive light.
Of course, your ex might be a really hard case, so it may take 1-3 meet ups before you can get her to relax, open up, trust you and give the relationship another chance, but the important thing to know that it is possible for you to change how she feels.
Watch this video to understand why…
As you will discover from the video above, it is possible for you to begin to change the way that your ex feels about you and thinks about you.
I’ve personally helped 100s of guys via my phone coaching service to successfully get an ex back, so I know that it’s possible (even when the woman is initially saying, “I hate you. Leave me alone” or “I don’t have feelings for you” and that relationships get back together all the time.
If you want your ex to begin thinking about you in a positive way and wanting to meet up with you and possibly get back together with you, the questions that you really need to be asking yourself are:
- Have I fixed the issues that caused the break up?
- Have I become a more emotionally attractive man, or do I still have the same old insecurities?
- Am I willing to fix my insecurities and become more emotionally attractive, so I can change how she feels and get her back when I meet up with her?
- Do I know how to make her fully respect me again when I talk to her on the phone and in person?
- Do I know how to make her feel attracted to me and feel excited to be around me like she was when we first started dating?
- Do I know how to get the spark back?
- Do I know what to say to get her to forgive me and connect with her new, positive feelings towards me?
If you don’t feel as though you are fully ready to call your ex or meet up with her in person yet, then I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System, so I can guide you through the process of rapidly rebuilding your confidence around her and arming you with attraction techniques that will get the spark back between you and her when you meet up.