The secret of how to make a girl want you back is to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
However, the exact approach that you use to make her want you back will depend on the reasons for the break up.
1. If she lost respect for you (e.g. because you were insecure, treated her badly, etc) and has now closed off her feelings for you so she doesn’t feel any attraction or love for you anymore.
When a girl loses respect for a guy, she will then find it nearly impossible to feel attraction for him anymore. Without respect and attraction, she will then begin to fall out of love with him or stop having “feelings” for him.
So, how to make a girl want you back in a situation like that is to first get her respect back.
Talk to her on the phone (not text) or in person to apologize for mistakes that you’ve made and let her know that you don’t expect her to want to get back with you because you’re apologizing, but you still want to give her that apology because you know that it’s the right thing to do.
From there, you then need to do the most important thing of all and that is to let her see that you really have changed.
For example: If a guy was too insecure when he was in a relationship with his girlfriend, then she will be used to being to pick up on his insecurities in the way that he talks, what he says and how he behaves.
So, when she notices a real difference in the way that he now talks, thinks, feels and behaves, she will start to accept that maybe he really has changed.
If he meets up with her in person, she will then be able to see that, even if she interacts with him for 30 minutes or an hour, his old insecurities just don’t appear anymore. He really has changed.
When a girl realizes that, she will then drop her protective emotional guard, feel respect for the guy and then allow herself to begin feeling attracted to him again (e.g. feel attracted to his confidence, how he makes her laugh and smile, his charisma, masculine vibe, etc).
Letting her experience the new, improved version of yourself is the most important part of making a girl want you back. Without that, she will usually just remember the bad parts of your relationship or the things she didn’t like about you (e.g. insecurity).
Now that people have their smartphone with them all of the time or most of the time, a lot of guys make the mistake of trying to make a girl want them back by text.
Simply texting a girl isn’t going to show her that you really have changed.
Anyone can send a text and appear confident or happy, but it’s how you come across on a phone call and in person that really counts.
As you may have noticed, texting can actually your ex to feel even more turned off and repelled when she misunderstands what you are trying to say.
By the way…
When I help guys to get girls back via my phone coaching service, I always hear (95% of the time) that he has been texting the girl for weeks or even months at a time without even meeting up with her.
Texting her is usually just a waste of time. If you want to make a girl want you back, you’ve got to get her to experience a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you on a phone call or in person.
If you’re not sure how to get her to feel that way, I explain exactly what you need to say and do in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
2. If you’ve been in a relationship for more than 5 years that has lost its spark and become boring.
Relationships between men and women no longer work in the exact same way as they did 50 or 100 years ago.
In 1900 for example, a woman would usually be a virgin when she got married and she would have to stay with her man for life even if she was unhappy.
Back then, it was shameful to get divorced.
However, in today’s world, girls are allowed to get in and out of relationships as often as they want until they feel like they’ve found the right guy who is capable of making her feel the type of respect, attraction and love that she wants to feel when in a relationship.
So, in ex back cases like this, what a guy needs to do is to first get the girl’s respect back and then make her feel attracted in fun, exciting ways.
For example: Rather than having serious, deep and meaningful conversations with her, he needs to be get her smiling and laughing when she talks to him. When she opens up to that, he needs to begin flirting with her to get the spark back between them.
One of the great things about the attraction that a girl feels for a guy is that it can be CREATED and RECREATED.
If a girl currently doesn’t feel much (or any) attraction for you, it’s possible for you to begin actively making her feel attracted to you by displaying some of the personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract girls to guys (e.g. confidence, charisma, masculine vibe, humor, etc).
Watch this video to understand how a girl’s attraction for a guy works…
As you will discover from the video above, you actually have a lot of direct control over how much or little attraction this girl will feel for you.
For example: If a guy is trying to make a girl want him back and he is being insecure, needy or clingy, then she’s not going to be feeling attracted to him.
However, if he gets her on a phone call or meets up her in person and is being confident, charismatic, funny and charming, she will naturally begin to feel attracted to him again.
3. If you cheated on her and she is now unsure whether she should steer clear of you, have sex with a new guy to get revenge or trust you and give you another chance.
If you cheated on a girl and she really loves you, respects you and feels attracted to you, then it’s usually very easy to get her to accept your apology and take you back again. After all, she doesn’t want to lose an awesome guy like you.
However, if you cheated on a girl who doesn’t respect you for several other reasons in addition to the cheating betrayal (e.g. you were insecure, you treated her badly, you got very angry or aggressive at times, etc), then you’re going to need to through the standard, 3-step process to get her to open back up to considering giving the relationship another chance.
The 3-step process is that you get her respect back first, start to make her feel attracted to you again and she will then begin to reconnect with her feelings of love for you.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
As you will discover from the video above, it’s important that you first work on getting the girl’s respect back before you attempt to make her feel attracted to you again.
If a girl doesn’t respect a guy, she will close herself off and won’t allow herself to feel attracted to things that she would normally feel attracted to (e.g. your confidence, humor, charisma, masculine vibe, etc).
4. If she broke up with you because you were too clingy and she now feels like she needs to have some space for a few days or a week to breathe and allow herself to miss you.
In cases like this, it’s fine to give a girl some space for up to a week and half at the most.
However, I recommend that you don’t leave it for too long because I’ve heard from 100s of guys who have all overused the No Contact Rule (i.e. ignore a girl for 30 days) and the girl has then used that time to hook up with a new guy and move on, or just sleep with a new guy to help herself get over her ex.
So, while it’s fine to give her a little bit of space in an ex back case like this, you shouldn’t get to the point where you are ignoring her and hoping that it will magically fix everything between you.
If she hasn’t contacted you within a week and a half, you need to get her on a phone call, apologize for your mistakes and then get her to meet up with you in person.
At the meet up, you then need to let her see that you really have changed and have become so much more emotionally mature and independent during that time.
From there, you need to establish a new relationship dynamic where you are in the position of power and she wants to be with you just as much or even more than you want to be with her.
If you don’t know how to regain the position of power between you and your ex girl, simply follow the instructions (of what to say and do) that are provided in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
5. If you are both fairly young (18-30) and she broke up with you because you don’t know how to be the man she really needs (i.e. you became insecure, jealous, clingy, etc)
Some guys are naturally good with women (20%), but most guys will screw up their first couple of relationships with a girl because they just don’t know how to handle themselves in the more advanced stages of a relationship.
For example: At the start of a relationship, a girl will usually be very loving, affectionate, attentive, kind and considerate so she can get the guy to fall in love with her and commit to her.
Then, after a few months or a year, she will begin to withdraw some of her interest, affection and attention and will even begin to throw tantrums, tease him and put him down during conversations.
She does this instinctively because she wants to be able to see how emotionally strong and mature her guy is. Girls instinctively don’t want to be paired up with a guy who can only be emotionally strong and secure if she gentle with him.
Why? For most of human history and even to this day, it hasn’t been easy to survive, thrive and prosper in the world, especially when times get tough (e.g. an economic recession, a drought, flooding, natural disasters, etc).
Girls are hard-wired to ensure that their guy is capable of remaining strong and secure no matter how much he is challenged or how tough life gets, so they will naturally test his emotional strength at various points in time.
Another reason why girls change when in a relationship and occasionally stop being so affectionate or loving, is to test how safe she is with her guy.
Will he become angry or violent or begin to treat her in a mean way if she doesn’t constantly reassure him of her love? Will he become so insecure that he starts to control her and not allow her to hang out with friends or do things without him?
What sort of guy is he really? Is he only loving, calm and caring if she constantly makes him feel loved, wanted and needed?
Essentially, a girl wants to be able to relax when in a relationship, with the knowledge that her guy is emotionally strong and secure and won’t crumble under the pressures of life or become wildly insecure if she occasionally tests him by being less affectionate or loving, or if she wants to take up a hobby that doesn’t include him.
So, to make a girl want you back in a case like this, a guy needs to show his ex girl that he has rapidly grown up and matured within a couple of days or a couple of weeks.
A girl will rarely believe a guy who tells her that he is now mature and that he understands he made certain mistakes in a relationship, which he won’t ever make again.
In most cases, the girl will only believe that he is now capable of being the real man she needs, when she is able to interact with him on the phone and in person and see that, no matter how challenging she gets during the conversation, he remains emotionally strong is much more mature than he ever was before.
6. If she broke up with you because you are clueless on how to make her feel the type of respect, attraction and love that she really wants to feel when in a relationship.
I’ve personally helped 100s of guys via my phone coaching service to successfully get a girl back and in about 60% of the cases, a guy has pretty much no idea how to make his ex feel the type of respect, attraction and love that she really wants.
One of the main reasons why is that many guys don’t even know how to properly attract women when they first meet them, so the guy simply tries to get lucky and is sometimes able to fumble his way into a relationship.
So, when the girl eventually gets bored of not feeling enough respect, attraction and love and decides that she wants to leave the relationship, the guy has no idea how to fix it.
If you are one of the many guys who are unsure how to actively make a woman feel attracted to you, watch this video to understand how it works…
As you will discover from the video above, a girl can remain madly in love and devoted to a guy who isn’t a male model, rich, tall or powerful in society.
As long as a guy is able to make her feel attracted to him in other ways (e.g. he is confident, he makes her laugh and smile, he is determined to succeed in life and never gives up, he has a masculine vibe, she can relax into being girly around him because he is an emotionally masculine man, etc), then she will be more than happy to stick with him for life.
If your ex girl currently doesn’t feel that way about you, then you need to begin actively making her feel attracted to you again.
In most cases, you won’t be able to get her back by promising to change or telling her that you need her. That might work once or twice, but it won’t work forever.
The secret of how to make a girl want you back is to get her to feel what she really wants to feel around you (i.e. she respects you and looks up to you, she feels attracted to you, she feels girly in comparison to your masculinity, she loves you, etc) and she will then begin to open back up to being with you.
You don’t have to be perfect in every way to pull that off. You just need to be better than you had been when you were in a relationship with her.
7. If she broke up with you because you lack purpose and direction in life, whereas she is aiming to achieve big things and is constantly growing as a person.
Regardless of how successful, independent and intelligent a girl is, she will always want to have a man that she can look up to and respect.
A girl doesn’t want to find herself in a situation where she is a high achiever in life (i.e. she is constantly growing and developing as a person, getting promoted, learning new things, etc) and her boyfriend is stuck in a dead end job or he wastes most of his time playing video games and hanging out with his buddies and going nowhere in life.
Ultimately, most girls will get to a point in their life where they feel the urge to become a mother, so girls have an instinctive need to pair up with a guy who will be capable of taking over and supporting himself, her and the offspring.
Even if a girl says, “I never want to have kids!” she will still have the natural instinct to make sure that she has a guy who is capable of supporting her if it does happen (e.g. an accidental pregnancy or if she changes her mind and wants to become a mother).
When she reaches her 20s or 30s, a girl will usually get to a point where she feels unsatisfied with life because it’s all about career and work and she will get the urge to become a mother.
When that happens, she’s going to want to know that she has a guy who is capable of taking on the role of provider.
This doesn’t mean that you have to be successful in life right now, but she has to be able to see that you are making progress towards success and you are trying to create a better life for you and her in future.
It might take you 10, 20 or even 30 years to achieve your biggest goals and ambitions in life, but a girl wants to see that you’re on the way and that you’re not just sitting around wasting your life away and expecting that she’s going to support you and keep you safe in the long run.
8. If she feels as though you are only with her or trying to be with her again because you’re afraid that won’t be able to attract other quality women like her.
Girls hate it when they have this realization about a guy that they’re with.
When a girl suddenly realizes that a guy only really wants to be with her because he’s afraid that other girls won’t be interested, she will feel turned off by how much he clings to her and how he seems to base his emotional security and sense of identity in this world on her and his relationship with her.
So, how can a guy fix a situation like this?
He needs to make his girl see that he could easily attract other girls, but he is choosing her because he sincerely loves her and can see a great future together with her.
This is very important because a girl doesn’t ever want to feel as though she is doing a guy a favor by being with him.
A girl wants to feel lucky that she has scored herself an awesome guy like you, who could easily attract other girls, but you are committed to her because you sincerely love her for who she is.
Girls do know when a guy has the ability to attract other girls. It’s very obvious because he will be confident, charismatic, he will know how to flirt and he will be able to charm girls just by talking to them for 10-30 seconds.
If your girl sees that you don’t even have that ability as a guy, then she knows that you’re not going to be very good at attracting other girls now that she has left you.
9. If she feels as though you are rushing her into marriage too early, or the opposite – you aren’t ready for the type of serious, committed relationship that she wants.
This is often referred to as bad timing.
A girl will say something like, “I love you and I care about you, but we’ve met each other at the wrong time. You want something that I don’t” or “I want something that you don’t.”
So, to make a girl want you back in a situation like this, you can’t rush to her and say that you’re willing to do what she wants to do, just so you can be with her.
Instead, you need to say something like, “We all learn and grow throughout life. Sometimes it takes certain events in life to trigger a change in a person’s attitude. Just because I wasn’t ready to commit to a relationship when you were, it doesn’t mean that I’m not capable of having a sincere change in attitude and perspective that you can now trust in.
Everyone goes through stages in life at different times, so people don’t always have to realize the same things or be ready for something at exactly the same time. Sometimes, there is a bit of a difference in when people are ready to open themselves up to certain things.
Right now, I can say that I am now ready to sincerely open myself up to a truly committed relationship. I want us to get engaged and if we are still really happy together after 6 months to a year, we can then think about setting a date and advancing onto the next levels of life together like starting a family, getting a house together and building a lifetime of fun, happy, loving memories.”
When you are telling a girl that sort of thing, you have to make sure that you’re not saying it in a begging, pleading or needy manner.
To ensure that she feels respect and attraction for you, it has to come across in a confident, relaxed, emotionally secure way.
Girls feel turned off when a guy gets desperate and begins to beg, plead and try too hard to convince them to feel a certain way. A girl wants to be able to see that you are confident, relaxed and emotionally mature enough to speak like a man that she can look up to, respect and trust.
10. If she feels as though she can’t trust you to truly change and not fall back into your old ways again.
In some break up cases, a girl will have given a guy many chances over a period of months or years.
He might have been able to change a few things or change temporarily, but he will have eventually slipped back into making her lose respect for him and turning her off once again.
So, a girl will end up feeling as though he doesn’t even really know how to fix his problems (e.g. insecure, lack of purpose in life, etc) or is hoping that she will stop worrying about those things and just love him for who he is.
In these cases, a guy needs to make some real improvements in the areas that have been making her lose respect for him (e.g. insecurity, being too bossy and controlling, letting her boss him around, etc) and turning her off.
He needs to let her experience the new and improved version of him on a phone call and in person.
Once again, you cannot get a girl to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you via text, e-mail or social media messaging.
You have to get her on a phone call and you have to meet up with her in person.
If you don’t know what to say or do to get your girl to answer your calls again and agree to meet up with you in person, simply follow the instructions (of what to say and do) in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System