Here are 4 examples of how to revive the love with your ex…
1. Interact with her and make her feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction
Interacting with your ex and making her feel a renewed sense of respect for you is the first step to reviving her love.
After that, she will naturally open herself up to begin feeling sexually and romantically attracted to you again.
Those two steps are so important because a woman won’t feel like she is in love with a man, unless she can respect him and feel attracted to him.
So, don’t try to skip those steps by just reaching out to her in a friendly way, or worse, pouring your heart out to her in a letter, text or email.
If you want her back for real, you have to focus on reviving her feelings by first making her feel respect for you, then attraction and then the love will come following right behind that.
Watch this for more info…
So, whatever you do, make sure that you…
2. Make her feel respect for the new and improved you
When you interact with your ex on the phone or in person, ask yourself…
Am I able to maintain my confidence around her, regardless of what she says or does to make me feel insecure, or do I become nervous and unsure of myself around her?
If you become nervous and unsure of yourself around her, she’s naturally not going to be able to respect you as a man.
Do I make her feel feminine and girly by being emotionally strong and masculine around her, or does she tend to take control and lead the dynamic between her and I?
Although some women will put up with a man who is unable to dominate them emotionally and take control of situations, most women won’t.
If a woman has broken up with a man because he wasn’t manly enough for her and they then interact again after the break up, she will be looking to see if he has manned up, is still the same or has gotten worse.
If you want her to respect you, it’s essential that you man up by being the more emotionally strong and dominant one when you next interact with her.
Can she see that I’ve changed and improved on some of the things about me that were turning her off before (e.g. being too emotionally sensitive, being emotionally dependent on her and needing her love and reassurance all the time, not having a purpose or direction in life outside of my relationship with her, lacking confidence in myself and in my value to her, being selfish in the relationship, not treating her well enough, being clingy), or am I still stuck at the same level I was at, when we broke up?
When she sees that you really have changed, she will naturally feel a renewed sense of respect for you.
As a result, everything will begin to change automatically, without you having to say or do anything to force it.
She will naturally drop her defenses, open herself up to feeling attracted to you again and begin to feel drawn to you, even if she doesn’t admit that she’s feeling that way.
Another example of how to revive the love with your ex is…
3. Let her see that you now understand how to give her the kind of attraction experience she really wants
Some guys don’t have ideal male role models when growing up, so most of what they know about relationships ends up being based on what they’ve seen on TV shows, in romantic movies and heard random people talking about.
Unfortunately, those sources are not always reliable because the relationships are either fictional, or people are just giving politically correct advice because they can’t reveal how they really feel and what they really do behind closed doors.
For example: If a guy believes what he has seen play out on TV shows, or heard female talk show hosts talk about in regards to men and relationships, he might think that the right thing to do to get an ex woman back is to shower her with gifts, flowers and romantic gestures.
The female talk show hosts (usually unattractive women who have failed in their relationship life) love to say that men should treat a woman like a princess because they hope that men will believe it and then start being like that to them.
They’re essentially trying to turn men into wimps, so it’s easier for them to get a date, get into a relationship and keep a man.
So, if you’re one of the men who has been taking what women say about men seriously, think again.
In most cases, women SAY one thing about men and then DO something completely different in their personal life, or behind closed doors.
Unfortunately, a lot of men don’t realize that these days, so they believe that showering an ex with gifts, flowers, apologies, compliments or pouring his heart out to her will get her back.
Yet, that’s not how getting an ex back works in real life because women only ever appreciate romantic gestures from men that they are romantically attracted to.
When a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s almost always because she’s no longer romantically attracted to him, so the romantic gestures will basically mean nothing to her.
A woman might appreciate the fact that that her ex is making an effort to fix things between them, but it almost always won’t change her mind about how she feels.
She will perceive his romantic gestures as being superficial and possibly even a little bit desperate.
She will also be aware of the fact that he isn’t getting to the core of the problems between them and is just trying to distract her from the fact that he has no idea how to make her feel attracted anymore.
He’s just trying to be nice, suck up to her and hope that it works.
Yet, it doesn’t because what he’s offering her doesn’t change the core reasons why she broke up with him.
This is why, if you want to revive the love with your ex, you have to truly understand the core reasons for the break up and begin to fix those things about yourself, rather than offering her things that don’t really matter at all.
If you’re not quite sure what the core reasons for the break up were, here are some questions to help you find out…
- Are you still the same confident, self-believing guy that she first met, or did you become an insecure, needy and clingy guy in the relationship with her?
- Did you remain emotionally strong throughout the relationship, or did fall apart over time because you couldn’t cope with the day-to-day stresses or challenges of life?
- Were you able to stand up to her in a dominant, but loving way when she tried to create drama (e.g. by throwing a tantrum, disrespecting you, demanding that things go her way or else), or did you submit to her dominance and let her walk all over you?
- Did you build on her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time, or did you assume that because she loved you so much at the start, it meant that she would stick around no matter how badly you treated her?
- Did you make her feel feminine and girly by being more emotionally masculine than her, or did she end up wearing the pants in the relationship or feeling more like your mother or big sister?
- Did grow up in the relationship together at the same kind of pace, or did she mature a lot faster than you?
By understanding what she really wants you to change, you can then make the right changes and adjustments to behavior and approach to her.
Then, when you interact with her again, you will be able to give her the attraction experience she always wanted from you, but didn’t get (e.g. by being more confident around her, making her feel feminine and girly in your presence, not falling apart when she tries to intimidate you or dominate you, being emotionally strong, being emotionally open without being needy or seeming desperate or soft).
Then, even if she tries to fight it, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling surges of respect and attraction for you again.
When that happens, the love that she once had for you automatically begins to revive and come back to life.
Another example is…
4. Focus on making her experience new feelings for you
When interacting with your ex, it might be tempting to want to repeatedly apologize to her for what happened and reassure her that things will be different this time around.
Yet, here’s the thing…
She doesn’t need to keep hearing your apologies.
In fact, the more you go on about what you did wrong before, the more you’re reminding her of the reasons why she probably shouldn’t give you another chance.
So, a much better way to go about reviving the love with your ex is by focusing on making her have feelings for the new and improved you (e.g. focus on making her smile, laugh and feel good to be talking to you again).
If you do that, she will naturally start to focus more on how good it feels to be interacting with you now and less on how turned off she used to feel with you before.
She will then enjoy being in your presence and it will become difficult for her to continue thinking, “I just don’t love him anymore.”
Instead, she begins to think things like, “Hmm…I never thought that I’d feel good around my ex again after the way things ended between us, but I’m actually starting to feel sparks of excitement like I used to when we first met. I’m getting butterflies in my stomach just being around him. There is still something here between us. Maybe we can start over and have a better relationship from now on.”
4 Ways That Guys Go Wrong When Trying to Revive the Love With an Ex
When trying to get an ex back, everything you say and do is either going to be breaking down the walls around her heart and mind, or strengthening them and making her want to push you away further.
So, when you next interact with her, make sure that you don’t end up giving her additional reasons not to reconnect with her feelings of love for you.
For example: Some of the mistakes that other guys make here…
1. Writing a letter proclaiming his love for her
Sometimes a woman will be cold, distant and unwilling to listen to anything her ex has to say.
Every time he tries to apologize to her or tell her that he still loves her, she closes herself off and refuses to listen.
Yet, he doesn’t know why.
He thinks that he just needs to try harder to get her to listen and as a result, he then decides to pour his heart out in a letter.
Yet, even though he is trying to show her that his love for her is real, a woman isn’t going to care about his romantic gesture because her feelings for him have been switched off.
So, rather than make her think, “Oh, wow – how cool! This is so romantic! He really does love me! I’ve been such a bitch to him. I’ve been pushing him away and refusing to listen, when all he ever wanted was to tell me how much he still loves me. Awwww, how cute. How sweet! I feel so bad for how I treated him. He deserves a chance and I’m going to give it to him,” she will roll her eyes and see his letter as being a last ditch, desperate attempt to convince her to give him another chance.
If you want to convince your ex to give you another chance, don’t try to do it via a letter.
It just doesn’t work.
I’ve been helping new men to get ex women back for many years now and I’ve never heard of a single case where a woman was wowed by a letter.
What works is re-attracting her on a phone call or in person and then getting to a hug, kiss, sex and back into a relationship.
Hiding behind texts, messages, e-mails, cards or written letters just doesn’t work with women.
On that note, here’s another classic mistake that modern men make when trying to revive the love with an ex woman…
2. Trying to make her love him via text
Naturally, when a woman is refusing to interact with her ex man over the phone or in person, he might decide that the only way to get through to her is via text.
Texting is a good way to create a spark if you add in some flirting, but you have to get past the texts and to a meet up, so you can then get to a hug, kiss, sex and back into a relationship.
If a guy hides behind texts and hopes that he can eventually make her love him, he will almost always end up disappointed.
Soon enough, she will text him saying that she has met someone else, is in love and no longer wants him to text her.
3. Trying to make her feel love through discussions about his feelings for her and how much she means to him
Sometimes, a guy will hope that if he explains exactly how he feels to his ex woman, it will change how she feels about him.
He might say something like, “I just want you to know that my feelings for you are as strong as they ever were. I’ve never loved a woman the way I love you. Even though we are broken up, I still love you. You mean the world to me. Please don’t throw our love away like this. If you just give me one more chance, I will do anything to make you happy.”
It sounds good, right?
I mean, I personally feel sorry for a guy in that situation, but a woman doesn’t.
A woman doesn’t care how much a guy cares for her if she has lost touch with her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for him.
In other words, if the feelings aren’t mutual, why should she care what he wants?
In other words, if she doesn’t feel attracted to him anymore, why should she get back with him?
For what reason?
A woman only feels romantic love when she respects a man and feels sexually attracted to him.
This is why pouring your heart out to an ex, or trying to explain how you feel and how much she means to you doesn’t work if the feelings aren’t mutual.
So, when a guy tries to get his ex girl to understand how much she means to him, she usually won’t care because she doesn’t have strong feelings for him (or any feelings for him) anymore.
Rather than being impressed by his declaration of love, it actually annoys her because she sees his actions as being selfish.
It’s all about him and what he wants.
Nothing about his actions show her that he’s changed or improved anything about himself since the break up.
He’s just going on and on about his feelings and how much she means to him, but he’s not reactivating her feelings of respect or sexual attraction for him.
So, if you want to revive the love with your ex, don’t waste time discussing your feelings for her because if she’s not feeling a lot of respect and attraction for you right now, it’s just not going to matter to her.
She will only care if you first reactivate HER feelings.
You’ve got to make her feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for the new and improved you.
That’s what works.
Finally, another mistake that other men make when trying to revive the love with an ex woman is…
4. Not truly understanding the subtle things about him that made her fall out of love before
Sometimes a woman will break up with a guy and give him an excuse like, “I’m really sorry to have to do this, but my feelings have changed, so I don’t want us to be together anymore. I don’t love you the way I used to. It’s not your fault. It’s just me. I’m messed up. I need time to work on myself.”
Yet, that isn’t her real reason for breaking up with him.
She’s just saying that it’s all her fault (instead of giving him her real reasons), so he won’t try to make her change her mind by making promises to change the things she is breaking up with him about.
When a guy has no idea how to re-attract his ex woman because she hasn’t given him any clues, he might make the mistake of trying to get her back by offering her things that don’t even matter (e.g. buying her gifts or flowers, giving her time to work on herself, being extra nice, being understanding, being there for her).
Yet, that just turns her off even more because it confirms to her that he has no idea what she really wants him to change.
This is why you have to understand her real, secret reasons for breaking up with you and then make those changes without her help.
If you ask for her help, she’s not going to tell you because she doesn’t want to teach you how to get her back.
You have to figure this out without her assistance.
For example: Some of the subtle reasons why a woman might break up with a guy include:
- He constantly fails her confidence tests (e.g. she rolls her eyes at him, plays hard to get during a conversation, pretends to feel annoyed about things that she doesn’t really feel annoyed about) and it makes him feel insecure.
- He’s too emotionally sensitive (e.g. he cries, whines about his problems to her) and she feels like she has to take care of him.
- He’s too submissive with her (e.g. lets her get her way all the time) so she feels more emotionally dominant than him.
- He lost the confidence and self-belief she originally fell in love with and is now an insecure, needy and clingy guy.
- He treats her more like a neutral friend, so she no longer feels feminine and girly when she’s with him.
- He treats her as though she is the more dominant one, so she can relax and feel like a girl around him.
How about you?
What are the subtle things about your behavior or approach to the relationship that turned her off?
Additionally, what are you going to do to quickly change those things, so you can then interact with her, re-attract her and get her back?