Texting your ex after breaking up is usually the worst approach you can take to getting her back.
If a woman breaks up with a guy because he was being insecure, needy and clingy during the relationship, she isn’t going to believe him if he promises that he has changed via text.
If you’ve been dumped a woman, the only way that she will believe that you have changed is to interaction with you on a phone call and in person.
On a phone, she will be able to tell by the tone of your voice, how you speak and how you react and respond to her whether or not you really have changed.
In person, she will be able to tell by your body language, style of conversation, attitude, vibe and behavior whether or not you have changed.
Yet, that is not going to happen via text.
Of the 100s of phone coaching clients I’ve helped over the past few years, about 95% of them have been stuck texting back and forth with their ex for weeks or months, before she eventually stops responding altogether.
So, if you want to get your ex back for real, please do not waste time texting her.
Texting usually results in the woman playing hard to get or getting annoyed with her ex because she misunderstands him and what he is trying to say.
The only time you should really be texting your ex is to get her on a phone call, so you can then arrange to meet up with her in person.
If you don’t get your ex to meet up with you in person, you won’t have a chance to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new, improved version of you.
That is what really counts when getting an ex back.
If you’re not willing to do that, you can look forward to a lot of emotional pain, frustration and heartache as she drifts further away from you the more you text her.
These Days, Most Couples Do Get Back Together and That Number is Increasing
Unlike in the past where the most common break up advice was, “Forget about her…move on…there are plenty of fish in the sea,” people are now starting to realize that with the right approach, relationships can actually be rekindled.
In fact, according to an American research journal, nearly 50% of couples do get back together after a break up.
Of course, a lot of those relationships break up again because (in cases where the guy is getting a woman back), the guy doesn’t fix the problems that turned the woman off and she ends up breaking up with him again.
That’s where I come in.
In my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System, I explain exactly what to say and do to get a woman back and then exactly what to say and do to ensure that you keep the relationship back together once you rekindle.
As a result of this training, men are now getting women back in increasing numbers. I get sent new e-mails from guys every day now who contact me to say thanks and let me know that they’ve successfully gotten their woman back.
In the past, it was difficult for a guy to get a woman back because he usually didn’t have any other guys in his life who could teach him how to get her respect and attraction back. People have pretty much always said things like, “If you let her go and she comes back, it was meant to be” or “Be patient…you’ll find another woman one day.”
Thankfully, modern men don’t have to put up with that crappy advice any longer. It’s now possible to get an ex back and in many cases, it’s fairly easy to do and happens within a couple of days to a week.
3 Mistakes to Avoid When Texting Your Ex After Breaking Up
If getting your ex back into a relationship is what you really want, here are 3 classic mistakes that you need to avoid…
1. Don’t text her unless you want to arrange a meet up.
It’s very tempting to use texting as a way of breaking the ice or staying in touch with an ex.
However, texting your ex after breaking up with her should only ever be used as a stepping stone to getting her to talk to you on the phone, or in person.
Although many guys assume texting an ex is a safer way to communicate with her because it makes him appear non-threatening to her so she will be much more open to talking to him again (especially if the break up was messy), this usually isn’t the case.
In fact, texting can actually send the wrong message to an ex because she has to guess the guy’s state of mind, where he’s coming from and why he’s texting her, etc.
For example: If a woman currently feels anger, resentment or any other negative emotions towards her ex, even a simple, “Hi, how are you? I hope you’re having a good day” can make her feel annoyed.
Countless psychological studies have proven that up to 90% of all communication between two people is non-verbal and is comprised of body language and tonality.
So, when you text your ex after a break up, there is no body language or tonality for her to see and experience. Her perception of your texts will be based on how she felt about you during the break up and afterwards.
If she is missing you like crazy, then okay – she will love the text. However, if she dumped you and is currently trying to move on because you are still unable to make her feel enough respect and attraction, then she’s not going to enjoy getting texts from you.
Even if you are now much more confident, self-assured, ambitious, interesting, etc., than you were when she broke up with you, and even if you’ve fixed all your issues and improved yourself, she will have no way of experiencing that via a text message.
So, when it comes to texting your ex after breaking up, the Golden Rule is this: Texting should only be used to get her on a phone call so that you can arrange to meet her in person.
On the phone, she will be able to hear the tone of your voice and she will sense whether you are confident and emotionally secure without her (which will attract her and get her to lower her guard slightly) and she will be a lot more open to the idea of meeting with you in person to see for herself what is different about you.
Then, when you meet up in person, you can make her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you, so that she will want to get back together again.
Naturally, if you’re not feeling emotionally strong without her right now, it’s something you will have to work on before you contact her.
By going through the 10 hours of video training in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System, I can guarantee that you will be ready to call her and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you over the phone and in person.
Of course, I know that many guys are in a situation where their ex girlfriend, fiancé or wife is no longer answering their calls.
In my program, I provide tested, text messages examples that you can send to her that make her answer the phone when you call.
2. Don’t promise to change via text.
It might seem like a good idea and you may even believe that it’s what she’ll want to hear before she will be interested in seeing you again, but texting your ex after breaking up to apologize for whatever happened between you and promising her you’ll change, is not going to make her feel a strong enough sense of respect and attraction for you.
Think about it…
Anyone can type, “I’m really sorry about what happened between us,” or, “If you give us another chance I promise I’ll change,” but that is just a bunch of words on a screen and to a pissed off woman who has dumped a guy, they are usually going to be very annoying words on a screen to her.
Without seeing you face-to-face, a woman has no way of knowing if you’re being genuinely sincere, or if you’re just using the apology as a ploy to get her to forgive you.
Additionally, saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t really get to the root of the problems that existed in your relationship anyway.
For example: A guy can be saying, “I’m sorry that I didn’t spend enough time with you like you wanted. I promise that if you come back I will make sure I don’t work as hard / spend as much time with my friends,” but, that’s not the real reason she broke up with him.
She may have really broken up with him because he currently isn’t enough of a man for her in the way that he thinks, feels, behaves and takes action in life.
She ended up feeling like more of a friend to him and felt as though she was emotionally stronger than him, so his promises to spend more time with her are missing the point.
If he sends that sort of apology to her via text, she’s just going to roll her eyes and feel like she made the right decision to break up with him because he clearly doesn’t understand her and what she really wants.
Essentially, apologies should be done in person and only after you know the real reasons why your relationship ended. You’ve got to be offering her what she really wants, not what you think she might want.
Watch this video for some examples of why women really break up with men. Do any of the break up reasons apply to you?
As you will discover from the video above, it’s critically important for you to understand the real reasons why she broke up with you.
Most women don’t explain all of the real subtle reasons why and unless you are aware of those and fix them, she will feel as though you just don’t understand her.
This is why I explain more than 70 different break up reasons in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System as well as provide advice on how to quickly fix those issues and get her to forgive you.
3. Don’t use texting as an excuse to remain in constant contact with her.
Most people have heard the old phrase “out of sight out of mind,” so when a guy gets dumped by the woman he loves, he will often want to stay in touch with her to hopefully stay on her mind.
Yet, in most cases, staying in contact via text will simply annoy her and turn her off even further.
I’ve seen countless examples of the texts that guys send to their ex. My phone coaching clients often send me screencaps from their smartphone to show me examples of what they’ve been texting their ex.
In most cases, the texts are pointless conversations that don’t need to be had or attempts from the guy to be friendly with her to stay in touch.
Yet, time and time again, those texts have done nothing other than annoy the woman and push her further away.
The guys who successfully get a girl back are those who meet up with their ex in person and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction.
When that happens, she naturally begins to lower her protective emotional guard and becomes open to having feelings for him again. Some guys get their ex back immediately, whereas others need 2-3 meet ups before the relationship reconciles completely.
Yet, I can tell you that from all of my experience helping guys to get their ex back, I have never heard of a case where texting got the woman back.
In every example I’ve seen, the woman has simply been a pain in the ass (e.g. not replying to some texts, getting annoyed, being rude or cold, etc) or she has lead the guy on (i.e. giving him hope) while she secretly moved on with another guy in the background.
So, if you want to get your ex back for real, don’t waste time texting her. You’ve got to get her on a phone call and then meet up with in person so you can make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
You Can Get Her Back
Texting your ex after breaking up should only be to get her on the phone.
On the phone you can re-spark her feelings of respect for you by making her feel understood and by apologizing for your past mistakes.
You can make her feel attracted by being confident and getting her smiling and laughing as she talks to you on the phone.
You then need to get her to agree to meet up you in person (exact wording provided in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System) where you can then make her feel more respect and attraction for you by showing her that you really have changed and are now a better man.
When she sees you in person and notices that you really have changed, she will then begin to drop her guard, allow herself to feel attracted to you and she will then begin to reconnect with the love that once felt for you.