No, because it doesn’t solve the problem and get her back, so you won’t get over her.
You will just end up missing her and wanting her back more, because the amount of emotion she makes you feel will overrule your logic.
You won’t be able to stop yourself from wanting her back.
It will always be with you.
So, if you secretly do want her back, then here’s what you should do, rather than just venting yourself into feelings of depression, despair and confusion for many years to come:
1. Vent to let off some steam and then focus on a solution to get her back
Getting dumped by the woman you love can be painful, frustrating, humiliating and depressing all rolled into one.
Additionally, wanting to scream, shout and rant about it can sometimes feel a little therapeutic.
Yet, it’s only temporary.
When you on and on and on about how terrible you feel, how angry you are with your ex girlfriend, or what a bitch you think she is for what she did, it just ends up making you feel bitter and resentful towards her.
It also keeps you stuck at the same emotional level (i.e. feeling rejected and left behind, powerless, confused, frustrated).
So, vent what you need to and get it off your chest.
After that, decide to begin moving forward in a more positive and constructive way.
That means, you have to accept the break up and start focusing on the solution to get your ex girlfriend back.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t ever really focus on a solution to get their ex back, other than hoping that she will eventually change her mind and come back to him.
Yet, in almost all cases, that approach results in his ex woman hooking up with other guys, getting over him and truly moving on.
Don’t let that happen to you.
Of course, it doesn’t mean you should chase after her and act in a desperate or needy way.
Instead, use an approach that will quickly reactivate her feelings for you and make her want you back for her own reasons (e.g. she doesn’t want to lose you now that you’ve transformed into the kind of man she always wanted you to be).
So, what should you do?
Re-spark your ex girlfriend’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for you.
When your ex can see for herself that you’re handling the break up in an emotionally strong, confident way, rather than falling apart and being an angry, out of control wreck, she will automatically start to feel a surge of respect and attraction for you again.
She then drops her guard and opens back up to interacting with you more often over the phone and in person, to see where things go from there.
So, go ahead and get rid of your feelings of anger and resentment, knowing that you can re-attract your ex girlfriend and get her back if you want to.
The next thing you should do is…
2. Replace your built up anger or frustration with confidence and hope that you can and will get her back
It’s easy to dwell on what you lost and how that makes you feel.
However, it’s not productive and it keeps you stuck in a place where negative things continue to happen (i.e. because you end up behaving in ways that are unattractive to your ex and to other women, which causes them to reject you and then you end up feeling even more angry and frustrated).
So, don’t get stuck in a negative loop that you can’t get out of.
Instead, allow yourself to feel a resurgence of confidence and hope by changing the way you think about what happened before and what will happen in the future.
In other words, rather than brood over the damaging things in your relationship, think about all the good things that you used to say and do that made your ex feel attracted to you.
Then, think about how you can improve and become an even better man than before.
- You’re more confident and emotionally strong now, so regardless of how distant or unfriendly she’s being towards you during interactions, it doesn’t get under your skin and make you feel anxious or insecure.
- You’re more emotionally dominant now, so you no longer let her walk all over you like she used to.
- You’re more emotionally independent, so you don’t need her approval or emotional support to feel good about yourself anymore. You are a self-approving, confident man who also has the class to be good to her.
- You’re more of a challenge to her now, so she feels the need to impress you so that you will remain interested in her, rather than being too nice and sweet and predictable all the time so she feels bored and like she doesn’t have to put in any effort to get and keep your attention.
- You’re more emotionally masculine now and you make her feel sexy and desirable in your presence, rather than making her feel neutral or turned off.
- The more you believe in yourself and your ability to re-attract your ex, the more you will then naturally begin to say and do the right things when interacting with her.
She will then notice the difference in you and feel drawn to you again in a good way, even if she initially thought she would never be interested in your again.
You can then fully reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and get her back.
On the other hand, if you re-approach her and still have a lot of built up resentment and frustration, it will come through in the subtleties of your body language, vibe, choice of words and behavior.
She will then feel turned off by you and as a result, she will almost certainly push you away, which will only reaffirm your negative beliefs about your chances with her.
This is why it’s absolutely essential that you regain confidence in your ability to make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again, before you attempt to re-attract her.
Then, when you interact with her and she senses the confidence and self-assurance in you, her feelings will also begin to change.
Even if she tries to deny it to your face, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect and attraction for you again for being man enough to handle the break up in such an emotionally strong and mature way.
It then becomes easy for you to fully reactivate her feelings for you and follow through with what you believed all along (i.e. that you can and will get her back).
The next thing you should do is…
3. Use the intense emotions you are feeling to take advantage of this crossroads opportunity in your life
If you take one path, you could end up becoming bitter and resentful towards women.
As a result, you may end up dating women that are less attractive than your ex, as a way of preventing yourself from ever falling so deeply in love that you can be hurt again.
Instead, when you date women that you’re not really attracted to, you can remain closed off and unemotional.
Yet, that kind of decision just keeps you stuck feeling angry, unfulfilled and like your life is going nowhere.
On the other hand, if you decide to take another path and use the break up as an opportunity to have an honest look at yourself and where you have been going wrong and then change or adjust those things about yourself (e.g. get rid of needy ways of thinking, be more masculine in your behavior, be more assertive in your interactions with your ex and with other people rather than allowing them to walk all over you), your life will almost certainly improve.
In other words, not only will you be able to re-attract and get your ex girlfriend back if you want to, or attract other high quality women if you prefer, you will also see positive changes in other areas of your life (e.g. in your relationships with family, friends and coworkers, in your accomplishments and achievements).
So, rather than putting your focus on how angry, disappointed or hurt you currently feel, direct all that energy into accomplishing some of the things you always wanted.
For example: Now is a good time to put in extra effort in achieving your goals and dreams that you may have been putting off.
Alternatively, you might do something you’ve been putting off because of lack of time, or out of fear (e.g. go traveling, go to university and get a degree).
The important thing is not what you do, but rather that you do something that will make you a better man in the long run.
Remember: It’s not about impressing your ex (although that will likely happen anyway), but rather about becoming an even better version of you, for yourself.
Then as a bonus, when you interact with your ex girlfriend again, she will be able to see that you have changed in interesting and exciting ways.
As a result, she will feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
You can then build on those feelings during interactions and make her fall in love with you all over again.
You can then get her back into a relationship with you that is so much better than the one before.
Alternatively, you might improve yourself and then get a new, attractive girlfriend and have a successful, long-lasting relationship with her (i.e. because you’re so much more emotionally attractive to women now than you were before).
Ultimately, the choice is yours.
So, which path are you going to choose?
Are you going to allow yourself to become bitter and resentful towards your ex in particular and women in general and as a result stay stuck at the same level you are now, or are you going to choose the path of becoming an even greater man?
Whatever you decide, just remember: The one path will take you to misery and pain and the other one to happiness, success and love.
The next thing you should do is…
4. Get clear on the reality of relationships
As difficult as it may be to accept, the truth is that relationships are an ongoing choice.
Both you and a woman have the power to choose to stay together or not.
Even if you and your ex girlfriend talked about living happily ever after, she’s not obligated to stick with you because of that, if she’s lost touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for the man you have become (e.g. needy, unchallenging, wimpy, jealous and controlling).
At the same time, you have the same choice.
If your ex stopped being the woman you fell in love with (e.g. she went from being loving and attentive to being selfish and self-absorbed, she began lying to you), you also have the ability to dump her and walk away and not put up with that kind of treatment.
If you have that mindset, you won’t place unnecessary pressure on a woman to be loyal under absolutely any circumstance you put her through.
Loyalty is also an ongoing choice, even though that is a bitter pill to swallow for some.
So, rather than venting as a way to get over your ex girlfriend, why not make her reconnect with her old feelings of love for you instead, by changing your approach to attraction with her.
For example: Some new and interesting ways to start reactivating your ex’s feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you are…
- If you feel unsure of yourself and anxious when talking to her, focus on being more confident and self-assured.
- If you’re always being nice and easygoing with her, go ahead and be a bit more challenging and ballsy.
- If you’ve only been talking to her in a neutral or friendly way during interactions, you now need to flirt with her to create some sexual tension and make her want to release that tension with hugging, kissing and sex.
- If she talks down to you and blames you for everything that happened before, laugh at her (in a loving way) and show her that she can’t dominate you anymore.
- If you’ve been venting as a way to get over her, because you secretly don’t believe that she will want to get back with you, it’s now time to realize and accept that you are good enough for her and that she will be lucky to have you as her man.
The more you begin to attract her in ways that she doesn’t expect, the more she will naturally reconnect with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you.
She then wants to give the relationship another chance, because it’s in her best interests (i.e. it feels good and she doesn’t want to let you go and end up regretting it later on).
When that happens, it’s up to you to take the lead and guide her back into a relationship with you.
Finally, you should…
5. Just get her back and enjoy a better relationship with her now
If you truly believe that your ex girlfriend is the woman for you, then all the venting in the world isn’t going to help you get over her.
Instead, once you’re over the initial anger, resentment, disappointment and unfairness of the situation, you will likely come to the realization that you still love her and want her back.
So, why put yourself through all that?
A better decision for you to make is to just focus on getting her back for another chance at the relationship.
Of course, getting another chance is not about chasing after her, or making the kinds of mistakes that will turn her off even more (e.g. begging and pleading with her to change her mind, promising to do whatever she wants to make her happy, telling her that she’s the love of your life and that you’ve been lost without her).
Instead, getting another chance is about using a different approach to her now, so you can regain her respect, attraction and love.
You have to take control of the ex back process and make her feel that if she doesn’t give you another chance, she will be the one missing out (i.e. because she will be losing a great man like you).
So, call her on the phone or meet up with her in person and begin reactivating her feelings for you again (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you again, making her feel feminine and girly in your presence, showing her via your attitude, actions and behavior that you’ve leveled up as a man).
When you interact with her in ways that spark her feelings, everything changes.
The process of getting her back becomes really easy, because she’s feeling open to you.
You will then open her eyes to the fact that falling back in love again after a break up, is one of the most wonderful feelings she will ever experience in her life.
That is the power of actively making her reconnect with her sexual and romantic feelings for you again, rather than wasting time venting to get over her.
You can then get her back and enjoy all the good times ahead for you and her.
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