7 possible reasons why your ex always cancels when you arrange a meet up with her, are:
1. She knows that you still haven’t changed
When your ex talks to you on the phone and hears your voice, she may begin think, “Thinks seem okay between us. Maybe meeting up with him won’t be so bad after all. I probably should just give him a chance.”
Yet, after she hangs up the phone and starts analyzing the conversation, she changes her mind because she realizes that you’re most likely still going to be making the same kinds of mistakes the lead to the break up in the first place.
For example: One of the reasons why a woman might break up with a guy is because he has no purpose in life (i.e. he’s going nowhere, has no prospects for the future, just wants to hang out with her and waste his spare time doing nothing or playing video games, drinking, watching TV, browsing social media and so on).
If he’s going to get her back, he will need to change his approach and start being a more purpose driven guy (i.e. decide on his biggest goals, dreams and ambitions in life and start making progress towards them).
To find out if he has change, his ex might ask, “So, what have you been up to lately?” and if he then answers, “Oh, not much. Things are pretty much the same as they were before we broke up. I’m still at the same job. It’s okay I guess. How about you, what have you been doing?” she will see that he hasn’t really changed.
If she still has feelings for him, she might agree to a meet up when they’re talking, but after the call, she will think about it and decide not to attend.
She may think something like, “He’s not the go-getter guy that I want. He’s just sitting around waiting for his life to begin, rather than making things happen. Even though I still miss him at times, it seems as though meeting up with him will be a waste of time. I need to accept that it’s over. He’s not the right guy for me.”
She then sends him a text to cancel, or says that she can’t meet up with him the next time they talk.
He is then left feeling confused and wondering why she always seems to cancel when they arrange to meet up.
He doesn’t realize that she needs to sense real changes in him first, otherwise it just feels like a waste of time for her to meet up with him.
So, if you want your ex to stop canceling on you every time you arrange a meet up, here’s what you need to do…
- Understand her real reasons for breaking up with you
When breaking up, most women give vague excuses like, “I just don’t have feelings for you anymore” or, “It just isn’t working out between us,” to avoid helping you get her back.
So, it’s very important that you figure out her real reasons why she broke up with you.
That way, you will be showing her changes in yourself that she actually cares about.
For example: A woman said that she was over the relationship, but didn’t tell her guy, “Look…you’re just too emotionally sensitive. I’ve had enough of having to be gentle with you and having to suppress my personality to stop you from being insecure. I want to be free to be my real self, rather than softening myself up to make an insecure guy feel okay about himself. I need a man with more balls than you. I’m over trying to help you feel good about yourself.”
If the guy then tries to get her back by promising to be nicer to her, treat her better and listen more, she’s going to be thinking, “He just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t even know what I want. He doesn’t understand me. He’s not the right guy for me.”
So, make sure that you get clear on her real reasons for breaking up with you and then…
- Change or adjust those things about yourself
You don’t have to become perfect to get her back.
Instead, you just need to show her that you’ve become better than before.
Let her see that you understand her real reasons for breaking up with you and have already changed, adjusted or improved.
- Let her experience the new and improved you
Whether it’s via text, e-mail, on social media, over the phone, or in person, you have to let her get the sense that you really have changed.
When she sees for herself that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with, she will naturally begin to feel some respect and attraction for you again.
Then, meeting up with you again actually starts to feel like something she really wants to do.
So, if you’ve been trying to get her back before actually changing, you need to stop that.
It doesn’t work.
It can work initially when a relationship is beginning to break up, but not when a woman has had enough and no longer wants to be with a guy.
If you want her back for real, you’ve got to start making some real changes, improvements or adjustments.
Another reason why your ex always cancels when you arrange to meet up could be because…
2. She’s not feeling enough attraction when she talks to you
If a guy wants his woman to feel excited about seeing him in person, he has to spark her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for him first.
If he talks to her on the phone and behaves in ways that continue to turn her off (e.g. he’s being insecure, begging and pleading with her for another chance, asking her what she wants him to do to make her change her mind, seem desperate or lost without her), she isn’t going to be in a hurry to see him again.
You have to be displaying traits that actually attract her, otherwise it just feels unfair for her to have to give you another chance because you want it.
In other words, the feelings have to start to be mutual for her to want you back.
It can’t just be about you respecting her, feeling attracted to her, loving her and wanting her back because of that.
You’ve got to make her want it too.
When you make her feel sparks of attraction for you, her whole perspective on you and the relationship changes.
However, if you try to get her back without improving your ability to attract her, she’s going to remain closed up.
In some cases, a woman won’t really know how to say, “No” to her ex when he asks for a meet up, so she just says, “Yes” on the phone or via text and has every intention of canceling closer to the date or on the day.
She may think something like, “I know that I should tell him how I’m feeling, but it’s much easier to accept a meet up and then cancel, rather than have to explain why I don’t want to see him.”
Naturally, when a woman does that, a guy might get angry or annoyed at her and possibly ask something like, “What is wrong with you? Do you actually get a kick out of messing me around? Why are you being like this? You’ve changed into a completely different person? You never used to cancel on me. Why are you doing this? Just be honest with me. Stick to your promises and stop messing me around like this.”
Alternatively, he might try to seek pity for how bad she is making him feel, by saying things like, “I’m trying to make things right between us, but I can’t do that if you keep canceling on me? I know that I stuffed up in our relationship, but that doesn’t mean you should be treating me like this. I feel happy that we’re meeting up and then you kill me by canceling at the last minute. ”
He’s hoping that she will feel bad for treating him that way, stick to her word and meet up with him.
Yet, when a guy loses control of his emotions and becomes angry, or tries to make his ex feel pity for him, rather than make her change her mind, she simply uses his reaction as another reason to avoid seeing him again.
So, whatever you do, don’t get angry or try to use the pity card on your ex as a way of pressuring her to meet up with you.
The only way she will really want to see you again is if you re-spark her feelings of respect and sexual attraction.
When you do that, she begins to have romantic feelings for you again and it’s only natural that she will want to meet up with you and get more of that in person.
To make her feel that way, you need to start by interacting with her over the phone and displaying traits that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. emotional masculinity, confidence, the ability to make her laugh when she is being cold or distant, charisma, charm).
In some cases, all a guy needs to do is simply be a lot more confident than he usually is and the woman will take notice, feel some respect and attraction and be willing to meet up with him.
It really depends on how bad your break up is.
Each situation is different and requires a different level of attraction to get the woman to want to give her ex another chance.
Another reason why your ex always cancels when you arrange to meet up is because…
3. You’ve been arranging the meets up via text, rather than via phone call
Sometimes a guy might be worried that his ex won’t want to talk to him on the phone, so he will ask her to meet up with him via text instead.
Yet, here’s the problem…
Via text, it’s simply too easy for a woman to say, “Yeah, sure. Let’s meet up,” even though she already knows that she’s going to cancel on him at the last minute.
Why would she do that?
When a woman receives a text from her ex, all she is looking at is a bunch of words on a screen.
Since she can’t hear his voice and experience the changes he’s made to himself, her only frame of reference is all the negative stuff about him that she remembers him doing near the end of the relationship and after the break up.
So, rather than think, “What a great text! He’s clearly improved and changed, so seeing him in person will be a great experience. I can’t wait!” she’s usually thinking, “Does he honestly think I want to see him again after everything he put me through? Not to mention the fact that he doesn’t even have the balls to call me and talk to me now. It’s just one more sign that he hasn’t changed and isn’t the man for me. He’s just hiding behind texts and hoping that he can sneak his way back into my heart and life. No thanks.”
Why will she think that way?
There’s no real evidence that he has changed.
It’s just a text message.
Anyone can seem cool, confident and happy via text, but it’s a completely different story on the phone and in person.
A woman knows that, just like you know it.
So, don’t waste time trying to get your ex to meet up with you via text and then feel annoyed when she cancels on you.
Instead, just call her and let her experience the new you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, flirting with her to make her feel feminine and girly, being confident when she tries to put you off by being cold and aloof, letting her sense your emotional strength and emotional masculinity by the way you talk about things and react to her).
The more attracted she feels to the new you over the phone, the more likely it is that she will actually show up when she agrees to see you again.
Then, when you meet up with her in person, you can fully re-attract her and get her back into a relationship with you.
Another reason why your ex always cancels when you arrange to meet up is because…
4. She wants to test your confidence
Sometimes, a woman will agree to meet up with her and then cancel at the last minute, as a way testing his confidence.
This usually happens when a woman dumps a guy who had low self-esteem and didn’t feel worthy of her.
She wants to see if he is going to put up with her bad behavior just to hopefully get to spend some more time with her.
If she keeps canceling and he keeps putting up with it, without really saying anything about her horrible behavior, she will think something like, “Urgh! He’s just so spineless! Doesn’t he have a backbone? Where are his balls? He’s a wimp. I can’t believe that he let’s me push him around this way. I’m not going to meet up with him if he’s being like this. What would be the point? He’s not man enough for a girl me that’s for sure.”
On the other hand, if the guy is confident and believes in himself and in his value to her, he won’t let her walk all over him by canceling all the time.
If she cancels on him once, rather than think, “Did I do something wrong? What if she doesn’t ever want to see me again?!” he just remains calm, assumes she’s busy and calls her a few days later to reschedule.
Then, if she cancels on him again, he might say to her in a confident, but playful manner, “Wow, even the president doesn’t cancel appointments as much as you do. I appreciate that you’re busy, but I’m busy too girl. So, if you want to meet up, then great. Let’s do it. No excuses this time. If you’re too busy, take all the time you need before you agree to catch up with me, but no more of this canceling stuff.”
He will then arrange another meet up with her, or if she is busy, he will say something like, “Okay, I’ll give you a call next week and we can arrange something. Chat then.”
She will then be able to respect his confidence, while also appreciating the fact that he’s still being a good guy.
He’s not getting angry at her and insulting her, calling her names or trying to seek pity in a wimpy way.
He’s just being a confident, cool guy and letting her know that she doesn’t need to keep messing him around like that.
This is why it’s so important to be confident at all times when you’re getting your ex back.
When you can remain confident no matter what your ex says or does to make you feel insecure, you tap into her instinctive nature, which tells her, “He’s not falling apart and being insecure and needy. He’s a real man. He’s confident and emotionally strong. He’s the kind of man that I can look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love. It would be so hard to find another man like him. I have to give him another chance and see how it goes, otherwise I will regret it.”
She then stops canceling meet ups and actually looks forward to seeing you again.
Another possible reason why your ex always cancels when you arrange to meet up is because…
5. She’s leading you on to let you down slowly
Most of the time, a woman doesn’t know how to distance herself from her ex without getting caught up in an uncomfortable situation.
For example: A guy might…
- Beg, plead and even cry as a way of trying to make her change her mind about being broken up.
- Tell her how much he still loves her and that he can’t live without her, to make her feel sorry for him.
- Make big promises to change whatever she wants and then expect her to give him another chance based on that.
- Get angry and possibly even violent with her.
- Show up at her home or workplace and demand to speak to her.
- Pressure her into discussing the relationship in detail, so he can work out what he needs to change to make her happy and stop the break up.
So, rather than have to explain all the reasons why she is breaking up with him (e.g. he’s too emotionally sensitive, she wants a man who more masculine in his energy, she wants a guy who is more focused on succeeding in life), she simply agrees to meet up with him and then cancels at the last minute.
She will think to herself, “Maybe if I keep canceling our meet ups, he’ll eventually get tired or bored and give up. That way, I won’t have to get into a confrontation with him about the break up and he won’t feel so bad because he will assume we just drifted apart, or that our relationship was too difficult to repair.”
He could have got her back, but he simply didn’t know how to.
He was trying to get her to meet up with him, without even really knowing her real reasons for leaving him, or putting in real effort to fix those things about himself.
So, rather than her having to help him through it, she tried to get away from him in the only way she knew how, which was to mess him around by constantly canceling meet ups and playing hard to get.
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t want to be put in the position where she feels stressed out by an ex who she doesn’t want to be with anymore.
She also doesn’t want to be in a position where she might have to physical defend herself against an overly emotional man.
So, rather than dealing with all the drama or danger, she tries to get out of the relationship as gently as possible, even if that means giving the guy false hope for a while.
If you are in a situation like that, you have to change your approach to her.
From now on, you have to start making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, so she can begin to have romantic feelings for you again.
If you do that, she will stop canceling and start going along with the ex back process.
Before you know it, you and her will be back in a relationship and she will telling you that she loves you again.
That’s how it works when you approach it correctly.
Another reason why your ex always cancels when you arrange to meet up is because…
6. She is afraid that she might have strong feelings for you again if she meets up with you
When a woman really loves a guy, she will usually give him more than one chance to change and improve the things about him that are turning her off.
Yet, if he never changes, she will eventually be forced to make the decision to leave him.
In cases like that, she will try to avoid seeing him again because she will know that he could easily re-attract her and seduce her back into a relationship.
So, even though initially she might agree to meet up with her ex, she will be secretly thinking something like, “You have given him plenty of chances before and he never changed, so this time probably isn’t going to be any different. You’re just going to fall in love with him again, only to find yourself having to go through another painful break up. So, just get out of this while you can. Don’t meet up with him. Stay strong.”
Finally, another possible reason why your ex always cancels when you arrange to meet up is because…
7. The meet up sounds way too serious
If a guy gives his ex woman the impression that meeting up with him means that she is giving him another chance, she is much more likely to reject his offer to meet up, or accept it and then cancel via text.
So, if you’ve made your ex feel that way, make sure that the next time you arrange a meet up, you make it sound like it’s just you and her catching up as friends and isn’t about getting back together.
For example: You can say something like, “Hey, I know that you’ve canceled on me a few times before, but I hope this time we can really meet up. I want to make it clear that just because you’re agreeing to see me, it doesn’t mean I’m expecting us to get back together at all. It’s just a cup of coffee between friends and nothing more. In fact, if you don’t want to talk to me or see me again after that, I promise to leave you alone completely and never contact you again. So, let’s have this quick coffee. I’m going to be busy tomorrow and Tuesday, but I have anywhere from 3pm to 8pm on Wednesday and Thursday open at the moment. What day and time suits you the best?”
When you make the meet up seem relaxed and friendly, she will feel more comfortable with the idea of seeing you again.
Then, when you meet up with her and she experiences the new and improved you for herself, she will likely be saying to herself, “Why did I waste so much time canceling when my ex and I arranged to meet up in the past? He’s so different now and I regret not seeing him a lot sooner. I want him back. I’m going to make this happen.”
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