4 possible reasons why she said that she will always have a special place for you in her heart, but doesn’t want to be with you anymore are:
1. You no longer make her feel sexually attracted
In a relationship, it’s the man’s responsibility to make sure that the love, respect and attraction between him and his woman grows and becomes stronger over time.
Watch this video to understand how that works…
Unfortunately, some guys become so comfortable in their relationship with a woman that they end up treating her like more of a friend than anything else.
To convince himself that everything will be okay, a guy might think to himself, “Our love is so strong that nothing can ever come between her and I. This is going to last forever. She is mine. We’re going to grow old together. Her and I have said that to each other, so it’s going to happen. I have nothing to worry about.”
As a result, he might then fall into the habit of taking his woman’s love and attraction for him for granted.
For example: He might take her for granted by…
- Forgetting to compliment her when she puts in the effort to look good for him (e.g. she might be wearing a new dress and he doesn’t notice it at all, or if she asks, “How do I look?” he just says, “Fine” or, “You look nice,” rather than making her feel sexually appreciated by saying something like, “You look sexy baby” or, “Wow, look at you. I know what I’m doing later tonight”).
- No longer taking care of his physical appearance (e.g. he feels so comfortable around her that he stops putting effort into wearing clothes that make him look good, or he starts wearing clothes that make him look a little wimpy or even feminine at times).
- No longer doing the little romantic things that she liked at the beginning of the relationship (e.g. he doesn’t take her to restaurants/picnics/fun places anymore and sticks to ordering takeout and watching TV at home).
- Treating her more like his friend or roommate than like a desirable, sexy woman (e.g. he stops hugging, touching and kissing her, the sex has become boring or even dried up).
Alternatively, he might take her for granted by doing one or more of the following:
- Becoming so emotionally sensitive that she has to be on her best behavior, say nice things to him and reassure him of her commitment to him, otherwise he starts getting moody or sulking.
- Getting angry at her often and expecting her to just put up with it.
- Disrespecting her in private or in public and then expecting her to respect him at all times.
- Becoming very clingy and needy of her and expecting her to put up with it.
- Trying to take away her individual freedoms (e.g. not allowing her to meet up with her girlfriends, checking her phone, preventing her from clicking like on social media posts of her male friends).
- Spending most of his spare time or weekends doing things without her (e.g. playing video games, working on hobbies, hanging out with friends) and expecting her to just wait in the background of his life.
Here’s the thing…
Even if a guy really loves his woman and doesn’t want to lose her, she simply won’t find that kind of treatment fair.
As an individual, she will naturally want to look after herself and her own well being rather than just putting up with being treated in that way for life.
So, she will break up with him and try to find someone who will love her and appreciate her properly.
What a lot of guys don’t understand is that in most cases, women are a lot more insecure than men.
- Most women are insecure about their physical appearance. According to a global study conducted by Dove cosmetics, 96% of women don’t consider themselves to be beautiful.
- Women are reported to experience depression at twice the rate of men in the USA.
- In the UK, 40% of women will require treatment for depression at some point in their life compared to only 10% of men. In other words, women are more depressed than men.
- Women are twice as likely to experience anxiety compared to men.
- 60% of the people who have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorders) and phobias are women.
She might seem like she is confident and has it all together, but if she’s like most women, she will be insecure, anxious and prone to feelings of depression.
So, to keep a woman happy in a relationship, you have to be consistent.
You’ve got to build on her feelings over time and not take her for granted.
If you fail at that, she will start to feel emotional, depressed, anxious, insecure and unsure of herself.
If you don’t pick up on those changes, she will start to feel angry, annoyed and disappointed with you.
She will then start to give you obvious signs that she isn’t happy, (e.g. “I don’t know if this is going to work out” or, “I don’t feel the same way as I used to”) to hopefully make you pay attention.
If you do pay attention, change and get things back on track, she will be happy and stick with you for life (if you are consistent).
Yet, if you just ignore her complaints or hope that she stops being like that, she will eventually say something like, “I will always have a special place in my heart for you, but I don’t want to be with you anymore. Please accept that.”
A guy in that position will usually then start begging, pleading and sucking up to her for another chance, which will turn her off even more.
This is why you have to understand what a woman really wants and offer that to her when in a relationship, or when getting her back.
You’ve got to do it right.
She’s not going to help you understand what you need to change, or help you grow as a man so you can get her back.
It’s up to you to figure this out.
Of course, you’re not on your own.
I’m here to help you.
Just don’t expect her to explain everything for you and help you along the way to get her back.
In most cases, a woman will just give signs and hints that she is unhappy and if the guy can’t rise up and become a better man, she will prepare herself to leave and then end the relationship.
For example: If a man gradually stops treating his woman like a feminine, sexy girl and starts acting like they’re roomies, the dynamic of the relationship will change.
She will begin to doubt her attractiveness and become frustrated and unhappy in her relationship with him.
He will then see the changes in her and wonder what the heck has gotten into her.
He’s not making her feel like a sexy girl anymore.
She feels like his friend or roommate.
That’s not what a woman wants from a relationship with a man.
It feels nice and easy and comfortable for a man to change the relationship into that, but it’s not what a woman really wants.
As mentioned earlier, she’s not going to tell him that either.
She’s not going to explain that he’s no longer making her feel sexy, attracted and wanted by him.
Instead, she will either start getting moody (that’s women for you! They are not like us and that’s okay. You have to understand and accept that about women. They are not designed to be like us) or she might try to make herself even more desirable to him (e.g. by dressing in revealing clothes, wearing sexy lingerie, kissing him in a sexual way, being submissive, acting girly).
If he continues on just treating her like a roommate, friend or one of his buddies, she will eventually start to think, “This just isn’t working. I just don’t feel the way I want to when I’m with him anymore. The spark has gone.”
If nothing changes for months or years, she will eventually break up with him by saying something along the lines of, “It’s not you, it’s me. I love you and will always have a special place for you in my heart. I just don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I want to have time for myself. I want to explore and find out who I am.”
If she’s like most women, she won’t come out and say something like, “Hey…you’ve become too much of a wimpy guy these days. It’s almost like you’re my girlfriend at times. I need a real man. I used to love you, but not anymore. It’s over.”
Most women don’t want to be that direct because they don’t want to hurt a guy’s feelings, make him react with anger (or even violence) or have to deal with a messy break up.
Instead, she will just say nice things like having a place for him in her heart, him being a great guy, treasuring the time they spent together and so on.
So, if your ex said that she will always have a special place for you in her heart, but doesn’t want to be with you anymore, it could be because you stopped making her feel like a feminine, girly, sexy woman around you.
Don’t worry though.
You just have to start making her feel that way from now on and she will change her perception of you and open back up to being with you again.
Just make sure that every time you interact with her from this point onwards (e.g. over the phone and especially when you see her in person), you are actively triggering her feelings of attraction for you by making her feel girly, feminine and sexy, rather than just being a sweet, nice, neutral friend to her.
Even though you’re not a couple anymore, it doesn’t mean you can’t still talk to her in a way that makes her feel sexy and wanted.
In fact, if she broke up with you because the spark died out, then you have to.
You have no choice.
If you want her back, you have to get the spark back.
Naturally, you may be asking, “What if she gets angry with me for talking to her in a way that makes her feel feminine, girly and sexy?”
If you’re asking that, it suggests that you are approaching her in the wrong way and simply don’t understand what really makes a woman feel attracted to a guy.
Women are attracted to guys who aren’t intimidated by them.
It’s not about being aggressive, rude, obnoxious or anything like that.
It’s just about being a good man who has balls.
That’s what women really want.
So, you will always make her feel much more attraction by being confident in your value to her, compared to tiptoeing around her like a good little boy in the hopes that she will change her mind and give you another chance based on your niceness.
With that in mind, don’t be afraid to flirt with your ex when you next see her or talk to her on the phone.
Make it clear by how you are flirting with her that you still feel a deep sexual attraction and desire for her and aren’t afraid to let her know about it.
It’s not about saying, “Hey, I still find you sexy.”
That’s not flirting.
Instead, it’s about saying something like, “Wow, you look sexy today” when you meet up with her in person, rather than saying, “Oh, nice dress. How are you today?” like a typical nice guy who is afraid to express sexual interest in a woman.
When you make her feel sexually attracted to you again (e.g. you make her smile and laugh, build up sexual tension by flirting with her and then pulling back your interest, make her feel feminine and girly by being emotionally masculine around her), her feelings will naturally begin to change.
She will go from just having a special place in her heart for you, to wanting to kiss you, have sex with you and be your woman again right now.
That’s what you want, right?
If so, make sure that you focus on triggering her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
Don’t hold back and be polite, nice or neutral.
Let the flirting flow and be confident enough to joke around with her and make her smile, laugh and feel great to be talking to you again.
Another reason why your ex may have said that she will always have a special place for you in her heart, but doesn’t want to be with you anymore is because…
2. She likes you as a person, but can’t look up to you as her man
For a woman to be able to look up to and respect her man, she needs to know that he is the more emotionally dominant one in the relationship.
Part of making her feel that way is not allowing her to walk all over you, intimidate you or boss you around in a relationship.
Where a lot of guys go wrong is by thinking, “I love my girl so much that I will do anything to make her happy. She can call the shots if she wants. Whatever she wants to do, I am willing to go along with, as long as I get to be with her.”
He might then become super nice, sweet and attentive around her and always let her get her back, regardless of how badly she treats him.
For example: A woman might talk down to her guy, throw tantrums when she doesn’t get her way and possibly even belittle him in front of other people (e.g. make jokes about him, say that he is useless or is a loser).
Yet, rather than confidently standing up to her and telling her that he’s not going to put up with being treated disrespectfully by her, a guy like that might be even nicer to her in the hopes that she takes pity on him one day.
He might say something like, “I’m sorry if I upset you baby. Please let me make it up to you,” or “Please don’t be this way. You know that I will do anything to make you happy. Just tell me what you want and I will do it.”
However, in most cases, rather than make a woman think, “What am I doing? He’s so sweet and wonderful and I’m being a bitch to him! I feel so terrible for the way I’ve treated him. I promise that from this moment onwards, I’m going to be the most loving girlfriend/wife a guy can ever hope for,” she will think something like, “I can’t believe that he lets me disrespect him so much. Doesn’t he have a backbone? Doesn’t he respect himself? I really don’t like behaving like this, but it’s the only way I can think of to try and push him to be more of a man and stand up for himself. No matter how badly I treat him, he just keeps putting up with it. Well, I guess it’s not working. He doesn’t understand how to be the man in a relationship. Even though I think he’s a really nice guy, I just can’t look up to him and respect him as my man. So, I have to leave him and find a man who makes me respect him.”
She then leaves and the guy is left thinking, “What the? I did everything that I could for her and is still wasn’t enough! What is wrong with women? They are so hard to please.”
Yet, that’s where he is wrong.
When you understand what women really want in a man, they are simple and so damn easy to please.
For example: One of the things that a woman wants is to be with a good man who is more emotionally dominant than her.
If a woman feels more emotionally dominant than her man (e.g. like she can push him around), it becomes very difficult for her to respect him.
If she can’t respect him, she also can’t feel real sexual attraction for him anymore and then staying in a relationship with him doesn’t feel right at all.
When she reaches that point, it doesn’t matter how well the guy treats her.
Without the fundamental feeling of respect, her attraction and love begins to fade away and not be strong enough to justify remaining in a relationship.
So, some questions to ask yourself are…
- Did I allow my ex to be more emotionally dominant than me (e.g. she got her way most or all of the time and I just followed her direction)?
- Did she feel like she had to make most or all the decisions?
- Did I let her get away with treating me badly?
- Did I become too emotionally sensitive?
The thing is, you might be a nice guy, but when it comes to keeping a relationship together with a woman, nice just isn’t good enough.
You have to be a good man with balls (i.e. a good man that is emotionally tough).
Your woman needs to know that she can rely on you to be the man (i.e. emotionally strong) all the time.
She needs to know that you won’t allow her, or other people, to disrespect you and push you around.
She has to be able to relax in the knowing that you will protect her from the big, bad world out there and not come running and crying to her to take care of you if life gets tough.
So, if your ex lost respect for you, it’s essential that you get that back.
Then when you next see her, you have to be the more emotionally dominant one at all times.
Being emotionally dominant doesn’t mean being rude or treating her badly.
Instead, you just have to be assertive and be the man around her.
When she can see that you have the balls to stand up to her now, while also being a good guy, she will naturally feel respect and attraction for you again.
Another reason why your ex may have said that she will always have a special place for you in her heart, but doesn’t want to be with you anymore is because…
3. She grew up or matured a lot faster than you and no longer feels compatible
One of the most important aspects of a relationship is that the man and the woman are both on pretty much the same level.
For example: A couple might…
- Have a big goal or dream in life that they’re always working towards achieving.
- Want to settle down, buy a house, get married and start a family.
- Prefer to party, stay out late and live a carefree lifestyle.
- Enjoy traveling and trying new and exciting things.
So, if a woman discovers that she has matured a lot faster than her guy (e.g. she’s ready to stop partying and wants to settle down, but he only wants to hang out with his friends and get drunk all the time), she may start feeling like they are no longer compatible.
Of course, she might not break up with her guy right away because of that, but it will start to eat away at her respect and attraction for him.
She may begin to think, “Maybe he just needs a bit more time than me. He’s still a great guy and if he sees that I have changed, he will hopefully catch on and enjoy a different kind of lifestyle with me.”
Yet, if he doesn’t change or isn’t willing to change, it will eventually lead to a break up.
So, if your ex currently feels that you and her are at different stages in life (e.g. you want to settle down, but she wants to be free), it’s only natural that she will want to end the relationship.
If that applies to you though, don’t worry.
You can still get her back.
Just get her back into a casual sex type relationship and make her feel respect, attraction and love for you on levels that she has never experienced before.
Make her love you and want you even more than you want her.
You will then be in the position of power in the relationship (the way a woman like her wants it to be anyway) and she will naturally begin to open up to settling down with you and committing long term.
A final reason why your ex may have said that she will always have a special place for you in her heart, but doesn’t want to be with you anymore is because…
4. She had a crush on you, hooked up with you, realized that you weren’t who she thought you’d be and then dumped you
Sometimes a woman might feel attracted to a guy because he initially appeared to have some of the qualities and personality traits she was looking for in a man.
For example: He might have come across as being confident and emotionally strong and he may have also had a great sense of humor, so she found herself smiling, laughing and feeling great around him most of the time.
As a result, she may have then thought something like, “I think he might be the guy for me. He’s cute. I love the way I feel when I’m with him. I should start dating him.”
Yet, when she gets into a relationship with him, she then discovers that how he was behaving before was just an act to reel her in.
It’s not the real him.
For example: The longer the relationship continues, the more emotionally sensitive, insecure, clingy, jealous and controlling he becomes.
He also stops being fun to talk to and starts being annoying, pressuring her, controlling her and being too serious all the time.
She then begins to think something like, “He used to be really sweet when I met him. I’m sure he’s not a bad person, but he’s definitely not the man for me if this is who he is deep down. I think I’ve made a big mistake by getting into a relationship with him. I didn’t see this side of him when I met him. Now that I’ve experienced it, I know that I don’t want it. He’s not the guy for me. I have get out of this relationship before it gets worse and I potentially end up getting hurt.”
She will then break up with him and try to find new a guy who really is what he appears to be (e.g. confident, charismatic, emotionally strong and masculine, enjoys making her laugh, smile and feel good around him).
You Can Change How She Feels
Don’t worry about the mistakes you made with her.
That is done.
What matters the most is how you make her feel from now on.
When you start giving her the attraction experience she always wanted from you, but never told you about (e.g. make her feel feminine and girly in your presence, be the more emotionally dominant one in the relationship, have crystal clear focus and direction in life), she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling respect and attraction for you again.
She will then stop focusing on the negatives of your relationship and will feel drawn to you in a way that feels good to her.
You have to give her the kind of attraction experience she really wants, which is usually going to be different to what you think it is or what you’ve been offering her in the past.
A woman might want her man to be more emotionally strong and confident around her, but he tries to get her back by pouring his heart out via text, e-mail, social media messages, on phone calls or in person, crying to her and begging and pleading for another chance, or saying that he will do anything to get her back.
Alternatively, a woman might want to see that her guy is capable of being the man without needing to lean on her for guidance, but he instead asks her to tell him what he needs to change, or that he needs her back to because she helps him focus and get things done.
By behaving in those ways, he’s only highlighting to her that he hasn’t really changed.
As a result, she keeps pushing him away and saying things like, “I know you mean well, but I just don’t feel the same way about you like I used to. I will always have a special place for you in my heart, but our relationship is over now.”
So, if you want your ex back for real, make sure that you prepare yourself to attract her in the ways that she really wants.
Don’t go offering her things that she isn’t going to feel attracted, excited and happy about (e.g. pouring your heart out to her when she actually wants you to be more ballsy).
When you attract her in the ways that she really cares about, she won’t be able to stop herself from wanting to be around you more and more.
The idea of you finding another woman will suddenly make her feel sad and anxious.
To avoid losing you and the new, much enjoyable attraction she feels for you, she will give you another chance and see how it goes.
So, make sure that you do this right.
Attract her in the ways that she really cares about and you will see her change and open back up to you right away, or within days.