5 possible reasons why your ex is saying that she loves you, but is afraid to try again:

1. She only loves you like a friend

She only loves you like a friend

There is more than one kind of love.

For example: You most likely love your mother, but not in the same way that you love your best friend and definitely not in the same way that you love your woman.

So, when your ex says that she loves you, but is afraid to try again, it can be because her love for you isn’t the same as your love for her.

You might be feel sexual and romantic love for her, but she only feels a friendly, gentle kind of love that a woman has for a friend.

If you happen to say to her, “Let’s give our relationship another try. I love you and you say you love me too, so we can make it work” it actually makes her feel afraid, because deep down she knows that the love she’s talking about isn’t what you thin it is.

There’s something missing (sexual and romantic attraction) and she can’t just ignore it.

If you want her to feel sexually and romantically attracted to you and then love you the same way as you love her, you have to change your approach to her.

Watch this…

You can change how she feels.

In fact, if you think back to your relationship with her, you will realize that her feelings for you have changed multiple times already.

For example: When you first met each other, she likely only felt curious about you.

However, as she got to know you better, her feelings began to develop and she felt strong surges of respect and sexual attraction for you.

By the time you and her became a couple, her feelings had evolved into a deep, sexual and romantic love.

Eventually, her feelings changed again when you stopped giving her the kind of attraction experience that results in romantic love.

So, currently she’s only feeling a friendly, platonic love for you.

As you can see, her feelings have changed many times and you can change her feelings another time.


When you reawaken the respect and sexual attraction that is lying dormant inside of her, she will naturally start to feel differently about you.

She will go from seeing you as a friend, to wanting to be your girl once more.

However, to do that, you have to actively make her feel respect, sexual attraction and romantic love for you again when you interact with her.

If you just hang around her being a nice, sweet friend who doesn’t flirt with her or show any interest in getting her back (i.e. because you’re afraid of scaring her off if you do), she will most likely continue to just see you as a friend or as an ex she used to want to be with sexually and romantically, but not anymore.

So, if you want your ex to want to try again, remember to actively make her feel respect and sexual attraction for you by using every interaction you have with her (e.g. on the phone, or in person) to make her smile, laugh and feel good to be around you.

Don’t pretend that you don’t find her sexually attractive anymore.

Don’t nag her to change her mind.

Don’t put on your best behavior around her by being Mr. Nice Guy all of a sudden and don’t allow her to dominate the situation.

Instead, focus on making her experience feelings of respect, sexual attraction and romantic love for you (not just friendship and nice, innocent feelings) every time you interact with her.

The more you do that, the more she will want to be around you.

Her defenses will drop, she will stop saying that she’s afraid to try again and she will open herself up to the possibility that things could work out between you and her after all.

However, if you don’t reactivate her feelings first, she’s going to just keep saying things like, “I love you, but I’m afraid to try again. Please don’t pressure me. I need more time.”

Then, if you give her more time, she will likely meet a new guy and move on.

I know this because I’ve been helping guys get women back for many years again.

Your situation is very common and is very easily fixed, if you use the right approach.

So, make sure that you are willing to try something different.

If you use your same old approach, she is most likely going to continue rejecting you and trying to move on.

Another possible reason why your ex is saying that she loves you, but is afraid to try again is because…

2. You’re asking for a relationship too soon

You are asking for a relationship too soon

Sometimes a guy will start talking about getting back together again with his ex a day or two after they’ve broken up.

For example: He might plead with her and say something along the lines of, “Look, I know I stuffed up, but we can work things out. Let’s just get back together again and we can take it from there. I promise to put in 100% effort to make things right between us. I’ll do whatever you want me to do to make you happy. Please give us another chance. I promise you won’t regret it.”

Yet, if he doesn’t properly re-attract her first (i.e. re-spark her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for him), she will usually just keep saying things like, “Look, I really do love you, but I’m afraid to try again. I just don’t think we’re meant to be together. We gave it a shot and it didn’t work out. Maybe it’s time to admit that we’re not right for each other and move on. Please accept that and stop pressuring me.”

So, don’t make the mistake of asking your ex for a relationship before you’ve made her want to be with you again.

Remember: If you want her to give you another chance, you have to focus on making her have sexual and romantic feelings for you again.

For example: When you interact with your ex…

  • Maintain your confidence around her, no matter what she says or does (e.g. she’s saying that she’s too afraid to try, she’s being cold and distant, she’s being emotional).
  • Use humor to break down her walls and make her feel good to be around you again.
  • Flirt with her to create sexual tension, but don’t release that tension right away. When the moment is right, release the built up tension with kissing and sex.
  • Don’t talk about getting back together again, unless she brings it up.
  • Focus on having fun together and enjoying each other’s company.

By doing this, you take the pressure off her to give you another chance right away and allow her experience the new and improved you for herself, at her own pace.

She then naturally stops resisting you (i.e. by putting up walls every time you mention getting back together) and begins to open back up again.

She starts looking at you in a more positive light and begins to feel emotions such as respect, sexual attraction and romantic love for you again.

When that happens, she wants try again because her fear and doubt has been replaced by strong, positive emotions (e.g. respect, attraction, love).

Another possible reason why your ex is saying that she loves you, but is afraid to try again is because…

3. She believes that you will go back to your old ways eventually

She believes that you will go back to your old ways eventually

In most relationships, a woman will usually give her guy more than one chance to change and improve before she makes the final decision to break up with him.

If he doesn’t actually put in the effort to improve the things that matter to her (e.g. stop being so clingy and needy, make more of the decisions in the relationship, become more focused and driven about his future), she will eventually break up with him.

When that happens, a guy will often try to get her back right away because he’s still in love with her.

He might say things like, “I’m sorry! I know I stuffed up but I’ve learned my lesson. Please give me another chance and I promise this time I won’t let you down again.”

Unfortunately, by that stage, a woman will usually be too afraid to take the risk of getting hurt again.

Even though her heart may be saying, “I love him. Maybe this time he really has changed,” her mind will be telling her, “Don’t be stupid! How many times are you going to believe him? He has promised to change so many times before and even if he does improve a bit, he always goes back to being the same jerk in the end. Don’t trust him! You’ll only get hurt again.”

So, she just keeps pushing him away and saying things like, “I’m sorry. I love you, but I’m afraid to try again. Maybe it’s over for good and we need to accept that. Please give me some space.”

When he sees that she’s not going to give in to him this time, a guy might then try to explain his deep feelings for her in a letter or e-mail.

For example: He may write things like, “I know I messed things up between us and for that I truly am sorry. I love you more than anyone else in my life and I can’t imagine a future without you in it. Please give me a chance to make it up to you. I promise that this time things really will be different. I’ve learned my lesson and I won’t make the same mistakes again. I really, really mean it this time. If you love me the way you say you do, you’ll give me a chance. Don’t let out love die because you’re too afraid to try again. I love you more than anything. What we had was so special and I know that you are aware of that. Please don’t walk away from what we have. I love you.”

Yet, that approach almost never works.


When a woman has disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for a guy, she just doesn’t care how he feels anymore.

So, don’t waste time trying to convince your ex to give you another chance by pouring your heart out to her in letters and e-mails.

Instead, show her via your actions and behavior that you have already improved and become a better man than you were before.

Let her experience the changes in you for herself over a phone call and in person, otherwise she won’t be able to allow herself to believe that you really have changed.

Another possible reason why your ex is saying that she loves you, but is afraid to try again is because…

4. She doesn’t believe she would be totally happy with you

She doesn't believe that she would be totally happy with you

In the past, a woman would stay in a relationship regardless of how miserable she felt, because that was what was expected of her by society and by family.

In some cases, a woman would even go as far as convincing herself that happiness was overrated and that she should just be grateful to have a roof over her head and a man who provided for her.

However, that’s not the case anymore.

Today’s woman won’t stay in a relationship with a guy if he’s not able to give her the attraction experience she truly wants.

For example: Even though a guy might be a truly nice guy who takes care of her in many ways, if he is too wimpy and weak minded, lacks confidence in himself and doesn’t know how to stand up for himself, a woman will quickly lose respect for him.

When that happens, she will also stop feeling sexually attracted to him and gradually stop wanting to be around him.

He might then attempt to get her back by trying to convince her to ignore her fear and just give the relationship a shot by saying things like, “I know you’re scared to try again, but are you going to let your fears get in the way of your happiness? What if we really are meant to be together and you walk away? What if you never find another guy and you end up regretting your decision? Don’t let fear break us apart. Just take the chance.”

Yet, most of the time, an approach like that only scares a woman off even more.

She feels as though he is not taking her concerns seriously and just wants to get what he wants (i.e. to get her back).

So, if you want to convince your ex to try again, rather than try to convince her to ignore how she feels (which is what is most important to her and what she believes in the most), focus instead on changing how she feels for the better.

You need to make her feel so much respect and attraction for you that she wants to try again because it feels like the right thing for her to do.

The more she discovers that you’re not the same guy she broke up with (e.g. you’re no longer insecure, needy, a push over), the more open she will become to being around you.

She will want to hang out with you to experience the new and improved you as much as possible, because it will feel good to her.

In other words, she goes with how she feels.

She cares about how she feels.

That is the secret to getting an ex woman back.

You have to make HER feel what you are feeling right now as you try to get her back.

You’ve got to make her really want it.

You CAN make her feel that way.

Another possible reason why your ex loves you, but is afraid to try again is…

5. She’s tired of trying to make the relationship work

She is tired of trying to make the relationship work

In some cases, a woman will get to the point where she feels as though she’s the one who is putting in all the effort to make a relationship work.

For example: She might always be the one who…

  • Backs off when there’s an argument to avoid upsetting him.
  • Forgives him when he stuffs up, even though he makes the same mistakes over and over again.
  • Puts in effort to change and improve herself to be a better girlfriend, fiancé or wife, while he keeps making more and more demands of her to change and be different.
  • Tries to guide him into thinking, acting and behaving more like the man she needs him to be.

So, if she gets the sense that she’s the one doing all the work and he’s just sitting back and hoping that by saying, “I love you,” it will be enough to sustain the relationship for life, she will gradually lose so much respect and attraction for him that she will want to get out of the relationship.

If he then tries to get her back (e.g. by promising to change), she will likely say “No,” because deep down she doesn’t believe that he even knows what to change or how to do it.

She is tired of having to help him understand how to be the man she needs.

She has taken on that responsibility for so long and has gotten to the point where she has now given up.

If you want to convince your ex to try again, show her that you now have what it takes to make her feel happy.

Turn things around by making the changes she always wanted you to make (e.g. be much more confident, emotionally independent, stand up for yourself, be more emotionally masculine) without needing her to help you.

By doing that, she will naturally begin to respect you again and feel like she can trust you to be the kind of man she needs.

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