If you don’t create a path back to you, a twin flame will wander off into other relationships and fall in love again without you.
If you don’t want that to happen to you, here’s what you need to do to get her back:
1. Understand what truly pushed your twin flame away
The main reason why a woman will break up with a guy is because something about his behavior or attitude caused her to disconnect from her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for him.
For example: Some common reasons why a woman breaks up with a guy are because he…
- Lost his confidence and became too needy, insecure and clingy in the relationship.
- Became too emotionally dependent (e.g. gave up his interests outside of the relationship with her, stopped seeing his friends so that he could spend all of his spare time with her), causing her to eventually feel smothered by the relationship.
- Made her feel as though she was way more valuable than him, so she started to question her reasons for staying with him.
- Let her get away with bad behavior (e.g. throwing tantrums over nothing, being rude and disrespectful towards him, taking advantage of him financially, expecting him to do everything for her and then not doing much or anything in return for him).
- Was too timid and emotionally weak around her.
- Treated her more like a neutral friend than like an attractive, desirable woman.
- Was too childish and immature (e.g. drifting through life without a clear purpose or direction).
- Stopped making her feel loved and appreciated.
- Didn’t take the relationship seriously (e.g. he didn’t want to commit to her, felt like he could treat her however he wanted and she would just stick around).
Did any of the above apply to the relationship with your twin flame?
By figuring out what caused your ex’s feelings for you to change, you can then start to make some attractive improvements to yourself (e.g. by adjusting the way you behave and how you respond to what she says and does when you interact with her).
She will then be able to see for herself that you’re not stuck repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
You’ve changed and improved and have become a better man.
When she can see that for herself, she won’t be able to stop her defenses from coming down a little bit.
When that happens, she will feel some respect for you again and then the idea of seeing you in person and reconnecting with you becomes a real possibility in her mind.
On the other hand, if you don’t truly understand what pushed her away, chances are high that you will keep making the same old mistakes in your communication style.
As a result, she will just keep saying things like, “Sorry, but I’m just not interested. I know you can’t accept it right now, but we’re not right for each other.”
Alternatively, you might keep offering to fix the wrong things about yourself that she doesn’t even care about (e.g. a guy might say, “I promise to spend more time with you from now on,” but what she really wants is for him to be more manly and not be such a hopeless romantic).
Remember: If you don’t understand what really pushed your twin flame away, you won’t be able to give her what she truly wants and she simply won’t come back to you.
2. Get clear on exactly how you will re-attract her when you interact with her
Once you understand the real reasons for your break up with your ex, you need to focus on how you’re going to re-attract her.
For example: Imagine that a woman left a guy because he became too emotionally dependent on her.
He stopped being his own man (e.g. neglected his friends, gave up his hobbies, stopped making goals for himself) and made everything in his life about her.
To re-attract her, he needs to be able to show her that he’s now an emotionally independent man who is happy and forward moving in his life, with or without her.
How can he do that?
Not by telling her that he’s changed, that’s for sure!
Instead, he needs to let his actions speak for him.
As the old saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.”
He needs to show her that he’s no longer emotionally dependent on her like he used to be.
For example: If she sends him a text, he doesn’t have to respond to her right away (unless it’s an emergency, of course!).
This lets her know (without using words) that he’s not sitting around feeling lonely and missing her.
Instead, he’s getting on with other things and being an emotionally independent man again.
She can then start to think, “I wonder what he’s doing today? In the past, he would have responded to me right away. Is it possible that he’s actually getting on with his life now that we’ve broken up? Is he with another woman? Have I lost him already? Damn.”
Then, if he responds to her later on and is easy-going and casual about things, she will get the sense that he really is changing.
She will then become open to seeing him in person and going with how she feels.
As long as he is attracting her in person, the fire of passion between them will begin to burn and they will feel like twin flames once again.
Another example of how a guy might show his ex that he’s changed is by posting photos of himself on social media having a good time with friends, or doing something new and exciting (e.g. going bungee jumping, horse riding, water skiing, mixed martial arts).
The more proof she sees of him being emotionally independent and enjoying life without her, the more open she will become to seeing him in person to see where things go from there.
In the same way, when you let your twin flame experience the new you in the ways that matter to her (e.g. you’re more confident around her, even when she tries to test you by being cold and bitchy towards you, you stand up to her in a lovingly dominant way, rather than allow her to dominate you like before) her guard will naturally come down.
3. Create a vision for your new relationship together
Decide how you want your relationship with your twin flame to go when you get her back.
Don’t be vague and think things like, “The most important thing right now is for my twin flame to come back to me. When that happens we’ll figure things out from there.”
If you’re unclear about what you want the new relationship to be, she will subconsciously pick up on your vagueness and will feel like something isn’t right.
She may then think to herself, “He’s saying all the right things and he’s even changed a lot since we broke up. Yet, something is missing. I can’t put my finger on it, but I don’t feel 100% sure that giving our relationship another try is a good idea. I can’t see how it would be better.”
So, make a clear list of what you expect from the relationship when you and your ex get back.
For example: You might say to yourself, “Some of the things I envision happening in my future relationship with my twin flame are…”
- I’m going make her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with me (e.g. respectful, sexually attracted, happy, in love).
- I’m going to make her feel like the most important person in my life, but not the most important thing (i.e. I’m going to take a balanced approach to my life with her and neither smother her with too much attention, nor neglect her and make her feel unloved. I will be a real man by focusing on my goals and ambitions, while also giving her enough time and attention).
- I’m going to commit to our relationship by asking her to marry me/move in with me/buy a house together after we’ve been back together for a week.
- I’m going to maintain my confidence around her and believe in my value to her, no matter what she says or does to test me.
- I’m not going to take her tantrums so seriously anymore (i.e. rather than getting upset or emotional, I’m going to remain calm, confident and in control. When appropriate, I will also use humor to guide the interaction back to love and laughter).
- I’m going to focus on maintaining and building on her feelings of respect, attraction and love for me over time.
- I will ensure that there is a clear masculine/feminine dynamic between us, so she doesn’t end up feeling more like a friend or buddy to me.
The clearer you are about your vision for your new relationship, the better prepared you will be when you get her back.
Note: Your vision for your future relationship is something you should do for yourself.
Don’t tell your ex about the vision.
Just have your vision in mind, so you know where you are leading the relationship.
She will respond better to you if you have confidence in the direction you are leading the relationship.
She can then relax, knowing that you have things under control.
4. Meet up with her and re-attract her
When you feel ready to interact with your ex (usually after 3 to 7 days), give her a call and arrange a meet up.
Note: Don’t try to get her to a meet up via text, because she’s more likely to play hard to get or reject you.
Just pick up the phone, spark some of her feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good to be hearing from you again) and get her to agree to see you in person.
When you meet up with her, continue saying and doing the types of things that have been turning her on.
- Flirt with her and show her that you still find her desirable, rather than being on your best behavior around her or trying to be nice.
- Maintain your confidence around her regardless of how cold or distant she’s being towards you.
- Make her smile and laugh.
- Be very confident and masculine in how you think, feel, behave, talk and act.
The more she sees that you’re being a confident, self-assured, emotionally masculine guy who believes in himself and his value to her, the more she will allow herself to imagine you and her being back together again.
5. Become as one again
When you make your twin flame feel more drawn to you than she ever has before (i.e. because you are now making her feel attracted in new and exciting ways), she will realize that her love for you is deeper than she ever knew.
Her walls will come crashing down and she will want to be back in your arms again because it will feel right to her.
You then simply need to take the lead and guide her through the final steps of the ex process, until you and your twin flame become as one again.
3 Classic Twin Flame Ex Back Mistakes to Avoid
Make sure you don’t do all the great work mentioned above, only to kill your chances of getting her back by making some of the following mistakes:
1. Sending her long love letters, expressing your deep emotions
Even though sending your ex a love letter might feel like the only way you can get through to her (especially if she’s currently ignoring you and won’t answer her phone or agree to meet up with you in person), don’t do it.
The truth is, she won’t really care how you feel (or that you believe she’s your twin flame) if she’s not feeling attracted to you or in love with you at that time.
Instead, your poetic words will sound soppy, misplaced and desperate.
Rather than think, “Oh, that’s so sweet. He thinks we’re twin flames. That’s just so romantic! Maybe I should give him another chance. After all, there is only one twin flame union available for me in this world. Other men will never make me feel the same way” she will be thinking something like, “He just doesn’t get it! Here I am feeling angry and upset about the way our relationship turned out and all he’s doing is focusing on how he feels and how I am the one for him. Well, I don’t care about what he wants. Right now, I’m going to focus on what I want and so far, he hasn’t made me believe that it’s him.”
So, if you want your twin flame to come back to you, don’t waste time sending her long love letters talking about your feelings for her.
Instead, focus on using every interaction you have with her (e.g. via text, e-mail, social media, over the phone and in person) to build up her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
The more you make her feel good to be around you, the more willing she will be to give you another chance.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Regularly referring to her as your twin flame
When a man refers to his ex as his twin flame, it’s usually a turn off to her.
Essentially, it’s not something a woman expects a man to say, so it makes him come across as being too feminine and emotionally sensitive.
Additionally, being referred to as her ex’s twin flame when she no longer feels a lot of (or any) respect and attraction for him, is not something she is thrilled to hear.
So, if you want your ex back for real, just focus more on sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. by being a confident, emotionally strong man she can look up to and feel proud of) and less on trying to impress her by referring to her as your twin flame.
If you don’t re-spark her feelings first, the suggestion of being twin flames isn’t going to sound romantic to her.
Instead, she’s going to perceive you as a wimpy, emotionally soppy guy and she will feel even more turned off than before.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Thinking that referring to her as your twin flame will remind her of how special your union is
She will only see your union as being special and irreplaceable if you make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again.
She won’t feel that way simply by talking about how good things used to be, how you and her are meant for each other or how we only get one chance in a lifetime to find a twin flame.
Saying something like that will work for a fictional character in a movie, but not in real life.
In real life, love is based on how a man and a woman make each other feel in a relationship.
In other words, what matters is whether or not you make your ex feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction whenever you interact with her.
So, don’t make the mistake of expecting your ex to give you another chance based on the fact that you believe she’s your twin flame.
If you want her to come back, you have to actively re-spark her feelings for you and get her to fall in love with the new you.
When you make her fall in love with you and are attracting her in new and exciting ways, it will be her who suggests that you and her are twin flames and meant for each other.
That’s how a woman prefers it to be anyway.
A woman wants to be the one who is being romantic, soppy and sensitive, while her man is emotionally strong, loving and powerful.
So, make sure that you are offering her the right relationship dynamic.
If you offer her a relationship dynamic where you are the more sensitive one, she will almost certainly never come back.
I’ve been helping men with this for years and when a guy takes on the soppy, sensitive role with a woman, it just never works.
What works is being an emotionally strong, emotionally masculine, loving man that she can look up to and respect.
She can fall more deeply in love with you every day and be the one who is more sensitive, soppy and romantic.
That’s what women love.
It’s addictive, exciting and thrilling for a woman for her entire life.