When a guy is saying, “My girlfriend said she loves me, but broke up with me,” it doesn’t actually mean that the relationship is over.
If you are in a situation like that, what you need to do is work out why she has really broken up with you and then switch gears to begin making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Here’s a video by Dan Bacon (founder of The Modern Man) that explains what you need to do and why…
Women Rarely Say What They Mean
It would be nice to think that when a woman says “I love you” and then breaks up with her boyfriend; it’s simply because she’s feeling confused, or worse, because she’s a cruel liar. In reality, she knows exactly what’s going on with her and has spent a long time sending off warning shots to let her guy know that she’s not happy in the relationship.
In most cases, during an argument where she is clearly trying to let her guy know that she’s unhappy about his attitude or behavior, a guy will latch on to a positive statement like, “I love you” rather than pay attention to the real issue at hand.
For example, a woman might say, “I love you, but if you don’t stop watching TV all the time and go out and do something with your life I’m going to leave you” or “I love you, but your insecurity and clinginess is driving me crazy!”
While she is trying to let him know that he needs to fix certain things in their relationship, he’s avoiding the issue with a false sense of security. Then, when she breaks up with him, he feels surprised and even betrayed. He’ll say, “My girlfriend said she loves me, but broke up with me. I didn’t even see it coming. Why didn’t she TELL me she was unhappy?”
The truth is: She did tell him.
But a woman isn’t going to spell it out for you. She’s going to give you hints and then she expects you to be man enough to figure the rest out for yourself. If you don’t “get the message” she will eventually break up with you.
Again, she’s not going to say, “I’m breaking up with you because…” and give you a long list of reasons. She’s going to let you down as easily as possible, by saying things like, “I just need some space to sort my life out” or “It’s not you, it’s me” or, “I really love you but I just can’t be with you right now.”
Why does she do that? For 3 reasons:
- She doesn’t want to put herself in a position where he might become aggressive or violent.
- She doesn’t want to give him the opportunity to talk her out of her decision, by promising to change if she gives him another chance.
- She doesn’t want to “mother” him and have to teach him how to be the man that she needs him to be in the relationship.
If you want to get your girlfriend back and make her feel respect, love and attraction for you as a man, you’re going to have to dig deep and find the REAL reasons why she broke up with you.
Did You Know There Are 70+ Reasons Why a Woman Will Break Up With a Man?
In The Modern Man program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System, Dan Bacon explains what these 70+ reasons are. It’s too much to explain here, but here are some classic example reasons why a woman will break up with a guy:
- Being clingy, needy and insecure.
- Being jealous and possessive.
- Taking her for granted.
- Not having a clear direction and purpose in life.
- Letting her “wear the pants” in the relationship and allowing her to make all the decisions.
- Not making her feel the way she wants to feel in a relationship.
- Failing to maintain and grow the respect, love and attraction between him and her over time.
Luckily though, it doesn’t matter how bad you think you messed up, most things you can fix pretty quickly or even immediately, but it’s not going to happen by itself. You have to be willing to put in a bit of work.
If you aren’t willing to do anything or change anything about the way you interact with her, don’t bother trying to get her back because she’ll keep saying, “I love you but I can’t be with you right now,” until she meets another guy who’ll give her what she really wants in a relationship.
If you want to get her respect, love and attraction back, you need to figure out the real reasons she broke up with you, so that when you speak to her again you can let he know that you truly understand where you went wrong.
When she realizes that she doesn’t have to “mother” you anymore and that you’re actually “manning” up, she will naturally drop her guard and feel more open to interacting with you, because you’ve made the effort to figure out what went wrong in the relationship by yourself.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Of course, figuring out where you went wrong is not going to be enough. She has to see that you’ve fixed your issues and improved yourself. I’m not saying you have to fix everything and become perfect – no one is perfect – but you do have to become a stronger, more well-rounded version of who you are right now.
The best part is that fixing issues like insecurity, a lack of self-confidence, a lack of purpose, etc., is going to benefit you in all areas of your life. Not only will your girlfriend feel more respect, attraction and love for you as a man, but friends, family and colleagues will react differently (in a positive way) to you too.
However, you can’t approach your girlfriend and say, “I know where I went wrong in our relationship. If you come back I promise to change those things.” She doesn’t want to know that you WILL change; she wants to know that you’re already working on those things.
Her love for you is still there in the background; when you change the way she feels about you, she will become open to reconnecting with that love.
You Can Get Her Back if You Really Want To
You can sit around feeling hurt and saying, “My girlfriend said she loves me, but broke up with me,” or you can do the many things Dan Bacon teaches in our revolutionary program Get Your Ex Back: Super System, which will make her feel differently.
When you make her feel differently about you and get her to see you in a new (more positive) light, she will automatically begin to feel more open to the idea of being your girlfriend again.
It really is possible to get another chance with your ex girlfriend. Yes, you still have to do the work, and yes, some of the things you need to do to get her back will be easy, while others will require a bit of effort.
Either way, when she’s back in your arms looking at you with renewed respect and attraction and is telling you, “I love you,” this time you’ll know she means it and that she’ll be with you as long as you want her.
Isn’t that a worthy goal? Are you willing to do what it takes to get her back?