If you’re saying, “I broke up with my girlfriend and I want her back,” you may fall into one of the following categories:
1. You broke up with her to teach her a lesson, but it end up backfiring.
For example: You thought that she was beginning to lose interest in you and was maybe thinking of cheating on you, so you broke up with her in the hope that it would make her come crawling back. She may have asked to get back with you initially, but you kept pushing her away and she eventually stopped chasing.
Now she has a new boyfriend or at least has other guys interested in her and you want her back.
2. You accepted an incompatible woman as your girlfriend, broke up with her after a while and now want her back because you can’t find a replacement.
Sometimes, a guy will meet a girl (e.g. a coworker, a fellow student at university, a friend of a friend, etc) that he isn’t very attracted to initially. After spending a lot of time with her, she eventually begins to grow on him.
He starts to really like her as a person and they either hook up after having a few drinks one night, or she tricks him into feeling the urgency to hook up with her by telling him that she’s met another guy who is interested in her.
He then begins a sexual relationship with her and it feels good for a while, but when the initial attraction buzz wears off, he realizes that she’s not good enough for him. So, he breaks up with her and then happily begins to move on with his life.
To his shock and disappointment, she is easily able to find a replacement guy and actually seems happier with the new guy than she ever was with him. Meanwhile, he is unable to attract a beautiful woman to replace her and feel good about the situation, so he then begins to want her back to make himself feel better.
3. She was perfect for you and you have now realized that you made a mistake by breaking up with her.
Maybe you are the type of guy who can easily attract and pick up beautiful women, so the reason why you want your ex back is not because you feel desperate and lost without her. You know that you could easily pick up another beautiful woman, but your ex girlfriend is special.
You now know that she’s the one for you and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to get her back.
4. You were never willing to commit to her, so broke it off and now you’re regretting it.
Many guys who are looking to get an ex girlfriend back fit into this category, where they simply weren’t ready or willing to commit. Maybe you still felt like you wanted to play the field, perhaps you didn’t see the point in taking the relationship to the next level because it was fine the way it was or maybe you didn’t think she deserved the commitment.
Whatever the case, you now feel like you would commit to her and possibly even marry her if she would just say “Yes” and give you another chance.
Mistakes to Avoid When Trying to Get Her Back
As Dan Bacon (founder of The Modern Man and creator of Get Your Ex Back: Super System) explains in this video, it doesn’t how much you want her back. What matters is how much of a renewed sense of respect and attraction you can make her feel when you next interact with her.
When your girlfriend feels differently about you, she will begin to think differently as well. However, that cannot be achieved through begging, pleading or trying to convince her via text. She has to be able to experience you on the phone and in person to feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Why Do You Want Her Back?
Before any action can be taken to get an ex-girlfriend back, you need to consider your reasons for wanting her back. After all, it was you who made the decision to end your relationship with her, so what has now changed to cause your change of heart?
1. Have you realized that you’re very good at attracting women when you meet them or keeping them interested in a relationship?
Some of the guys who say, “I broke up with my girlfriend and I want her back” are saying so because they’ve realized that the process of finding themselves a new girlfriend is not as easy as they thought.
At the time of breaking up, they believed that they could do better than their current girlfriend and that replacing her would be a simple process of making themselves available to other women again.
The fact that they’d attracted their current girlfriend led to them believing that they’d easily attract another girlfriend, but the reality turned out to be not quite so straightforward.
Being back on the dating scene and not attracting women in the way they anticipated highlighted the need to make improvements and to learn how to be the kind of guy that all women find irresistibly attractive.
If this resonates with you, you need to question whether your motivation for getting your ex back is one of realizing that you made a mistake when you ended your relationship and wanting to put things right, or whether you’re now seeing it as an easier option than having to make the effort to improve yourself in order to attract a new girlfriend.
2. Have you realized that you’re anxious about approaching new women?
Realizing you’re not actually that good with women and that you’re not getting the results you want on the dating scene is one thing, but realizing that you’re actually anxious about approaching other women and fearful of rejection is another.
For some guys, having a girlfriend and being in a relationship can provide a sense of confidence and security but being single again and facing rejection can really give that confidence a knock and make a guy feel insecure and unsure of himself.
If this resonates with you, you need to take action to develop genuine self-confidence and to become secure in who you are and what you’ve got to offer.
All women are attracted to confidence in a man and insecurity of any sort is a complete turn off. Wanting to get your ex-girlfriend back may be motivated by wanting to return to the feeling of confidence and security your old relationship provided but if you’re demonstrating insecurity in your actions, your ex-girlfriend may not see you as a guy she wants to get back with.
3. Have you realized that the break up was mostly based on your mistakes, not hers?
Of course, your reason for wanting to get back with your ex-girlfriend may be that you’ve realized the relationship breakdown was mostly your fault and the result of treating her badly.
Sometimes it takes a step away from a situation to get a clearer picture of how things really are and this is often the case when a guy says, “I broke up with my girlfriend and I want her back.”
It could be that your treatment of her led to her behaving in a way that made you want to end the relationship but you’ve now realized that all it would have taken to get your relationship back on track at the time was a change for the better in your attitude.
With this being the case, showing your ex-girlfriend that you’ve realized your mistake and you’ve made changes for the better will be key in getting her back. Even though it was your decision to end the relationship and not hers, the decision over whether to get back together again or not is ultimately hers.
You know you want her back, but do you know if she wants you back? Are you willing to change the way you approach your conversations and interactions with her, so you can make her feel differently about you and become open to giving the relationship another chance?