If you want to win a girl back after being dumped, you have to switch your focus from what you want to what she wants.
It can’t be about you wanting her back because you need her, love her, are sorry, etc. Instead, it has to be about you making her feel what she wants to feel.
How can you do that? You’ve got to stop displaying the personality traits and behaviors that have been turning her off or making her feel a lack of respect for you and start displaying the traits that will trigger her feelings of attraction and respect.
When she feels a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, her guard will come down and she will open back up to the idea of being with you. Let’s have a look at some of the classic personality traits that will make a girl feel respect and attraction for a guy…
Displaying the Right Traits When You Interact With Her
The most important part of winning a girl back happens when you talk to her on the phone and in person.
If you’re trying to win a girl back via text, you will almost always run into problems. Why? She can’t really experience the new and improved version of you via text. She needs to experience you on a phone call and in person to truly want you back.
If you want to get this girl back for real, you must make sure that you do it on the phone and in person. Here are some of the traits that will automatically make a girl feel respect and attraction for a guy…
Women are attracted to men who have the type of confidence that allows them to handle whatever life throws at them.
It’s not enough for a man to just be confident at work, with his studies or around his friends. What women are looking for when they seek confidence in a guy, is confidence in all situations.
Why? We live in a challenging world and it’s not always easy to survive, thrive and prosper. Women instinctively know that they will be better off with a guy who has the ability to be confident and keep moving forward towards success no matter what life throws at him.
2. Strength of character
Men who have strength of character know who they are, what they want and go after it with confidence and clarity of mind. This type of mental and emotional strength is deeply attractive to women.
These days, many guys waste a lot of time and energy building muscles in the gym, in the hope that their physical strength will be enough to maintain a woman’s attraction. Yet, although muscles and physical strength can make a woman feel attracted, it means nothing if the guy lacks mental and emotional strength.
If you want to win her back quickly, don’t waste time on trying to be physically stronger, unless you already a very strong man emotionally. The most important strength that women look for in a man comes from the inside.
When she feels your emotional strength coming through by the way that you talk to her, behave around her, approach your everyday life and interact with others, it will have 100x more impact on her than you adding a few centimetres to your biceps would.
Again, this isn’t about muscles.
Muscles can briefly attract a woman initially and if a guy is very confident, it is something that can make her feel attraction in the long run.
However, the type of masculinity that is instantly accessible to all guys is in the way that we think, behave and take action in life.
If a guy lacks masculinity is how he thinks (e.g. thinks like a bit of a woman at times), how be behaves (e.g. sometimes behaves like a bit of a woman or has subtly feminine body language at times) and how he takes action (e.g. scared to take a step forward because he is worried about rejection), then it won’t matter that he has muscles.
If you’re looking to win this girl back, you have to make sure that she experiences your masculinity when she talks to you on the phone and interacts with you in person. The more you are able to trigger her natural attraction to masculinity, the more she will want to give you another chance.
4. The ability to make her laugh
You’ve probably heard many times that girls love a guy who can make them. However, being funny to a woman doesn’t mean that a guy needs to be constantly cracking jokes. Instead, it means having a sense of humor and being able to see the funny side of life. Women are quite simply attracted to men who are fun to be around.
For example: If you’re eating at a restaurant (café or cafeteria) with this girl you like, you can make her laugh by pointing out that she has food on many different parts of her face.
You: Hey, you have some food on the side of your mouth there.
Her: [Attempts to wipe it off with her fingers or a napkin].
You: Yep, you got it. Actually, there’s some on your chin as well. [Point to her chin].
Her: [Most-likely starting to smile, feel embarrassed or concerned. Attempts to wipe it off].
You: There’s some on your ear as well. [Point to her ear and then begin to smile and laugh].
She will then smile and laugh and realize that you were joking. This will make her feel attracted to you because you have the confidence and masculinity (i.e. balls) to playfully dominate her like that.
You’re not worried about being rejected and are confident enough in yourself to mess with the situation like that for a laugh.
You don’t have to do things like that all the time, but once in a while, if you do those types of things, girls will love how you’re able to mess with them like that. It makes girls feel like the more submissive one around you, which makes them feel attracted to your masculinity.
It’s much easier, quicker and requires much less effort than spending years in the gym to build up muscle. Your mind is much more powerful and attractive to women, so make sure that you use it.
Do You Know Why She Really Broke Up With You?
In many cases, a girl will only give vague reasons like, “I need space” or “I’m not ready for a relationship right now” or “I need some time to find myself.” Yet, those aren’t the real reasons why she has broken up with the guy.
Watch this video to understand the process that a girl usually goes through before breaking up with a guy and what you need to do to win her back…
Why did this girl break up with you or begin ignoring you? What caused her to feel that way? It could be that certain events (e.g. lying to her, cheating on her, being insecure or nervous around her, etc) led this girl to see you differently, so let’s look at some examples of what might have happened to make her feel less attracted to you…
1. A lack of confidence in her love, commitment and attraction for you
As your relationship developed, did you begin to feel threatened by her relationships with other people outside of your relationship? As your love for her grew, did you begin to need more and more reassurance from her that she felt the same way about you?
Behaving in that way not only demonstrates a lack of confidence, but it also often manifests into needy, possessive behaviour which then turns the girl off even more. When a girl sees that you no longer feel like she wants you, she rapidly begins to lose touch with her feelings of sexual attraction for you.
As a guy, it is critical for you to maintain your confidence throughout the entire relationship. Even if she tests you by pulling back her interest, you have to maintain your belief in your sex appeal to her. If you don’t, she will sense it and her sexual desire for you will begin to fade away.
2. Not knowing how to make her feel the way she really wants to feel
Girls don’t want to have to teach guys how to make them feel the way that they really want to feel.
If a girl has to do that, it forces her into the role of “mother” or “big sister” and when that happens, it immediately begins to erode away at her feelings of sexual attraction and respect for the guy.
When a guy is able to make a girl feel the way that she really wants to feel in a relationship, it allows her to fall deeper in love with him. However, if he doesn’t allow her to go there and the love doesn’t come close to reaching it’s highest potential, she will begin to question whether or not he is “the one” for her.
3. A lack of trust in your ability to be an emotionally strong man
To feel good about the idea of committing to a guy for the long term or for life, a woman needs to know that she can rely on him to be the man she needs. Some guys ruin that trust by putting on an act of being a really nice, easy-going guy during the dating process, but then becoming a controlling, jealous and insecure guy in the relationship.
A girl then has to question whether or not she can trust him to fix his issues and become an emotionally strong guy. She will wonder if he will get worse over time and whether she will end up regretting it one day.
Without trust, a relationship will always fall apart eventually. Getting a girl’s trust back is 10% about telling her that you’ve changed and 90% about showing her that you’ve changed.
A lot of the guys who I’ve helped to get an ex back have admitted that they got too comfortable with their girl and things eventually became boring and stale.
For example: Doing the same thing every week and weekend, spending hours in front of the TV and rarely talking to each other in a fun, interesting or deep way.
Being fun to be around in a relationship comes down to how you talk to her, behave around her, treat her and what you do with her. Did you talk to her like a friend, like “one of the guys” or did you make her feel girly in your presence? Did she feel feminine and sexy around you, or did she feel more like a neutral friend?
Were you masculine enough during the relationship, or did you tend to behave a little too cute or lovey-dovey to the point where she may have begun to perceive you as being a bit feminine? Did you treat her too well, to the point where you made her feel like she was your “everything” in life, or did you take a more balanced approach?
Can You Win Her Back?
Yes, as long as you are willing to change your approach.
If the approach that you’ve been using with this girl isn’t working, you have to be willing to consider that you might be missing a few, key pieces to the puzzle.
The right approach to use with her is to focus on triggering her feelings of respect and attraction for you, rather than trying to convince her to take you back based on what you’re saying (e.g. you will change, you love her, you miss her, you’re sorry, etc).
Are you willing to do what it takes to win this girl back?