Here are 7 of the most common reasons why that will happen to a guy after being dumped by an ex girlfriend he really loved and wanted to be with:
1. The way she dumped him made him begin to doubt that he could ever keep a quality woman happy in a relationship
Sometimes, a woman who has been really sweet, loving and gentle throughout the course of her relationship with a guy might change drastically when she breaks up with him.
For example: She might become bitchy and say really hurtful things to hurt him (e.g. she tells him that he’s terrible in bed, says that she never really loved him, mocks him about certain aspects of his physical appearance).
Essentially, she’s lashing out at him and trying to make him feel as bad as she’s currently feeling.
However, deep down, she doesn’t really mean what she’s saying and it’s likely that when things calm down, she will regret behaving in that way.
Unfortunately though, in some cases, the guy doesn’t see it that way.
Instead, he takes everything she says to heart and begins to doubt himself and his value to women.
He may even start thinking things like, “I guess I’m a loser when it comes to women. If my ex hates me so much after she said that she loves me, I must really suck as a boyfriend. That probably means I will never be able to find another woman who will accept all my faults and be attracted to me.”
Yet, thinking that way only causes him to spiral into a pit of hopelessness and despair, which then comes through every time he interacts with other women.
He then gets rejected by them (i.e. because he’s displaying the types of characteristics that are instinctively unattractive to women).
That only confirms to him what he now believes about himself (i.e. that he’s not good enough, he’s unattractive), which then results in him falling even deeper into his spiral of despair.
So, if this sounds like something you’re currently putting yourself through, you need to stop right away.
You need to change the way you think about yourself and the break up with your ex girlfriend.
When you begin to think differently (i.e. in a more positive way), you will also begin feeling better.
Then you will likely be surprised to see that women respond to you differently too.
All of a sudden you become more desirable and fun to be around.
It has nothing to do with your appearance, or anything that your ex might have said to get to you.
Instead, it’s about how you feel about yourself.
The more confident and self-assured you feel, the more it comes through in your actions and behavior and the more attractive you are to women in general and even to your ex.
Even if she doesn’t admit it, seeing you handle what she threw at you in such an emotionally strong and mature way makes her automatically see you in a new light.
She then starts to wonder if she made the right decision by breaking up with you after all.
So start changing your negative thoughts to positive ones right now.
For example: Instead of thinking, “My ex girlfriend has made me become insecure around women,” replace that with something along the lines of, “I feel confident around women because I know my true value as a man. I believe in myself and in my worth to my ex and to other women and I will continue to feel that way when I interact with them, even if they’re being cold, dismissive or bitchy towards me.”
Then, when you interact with women (and your ex) from now on, rather than projecting an image of a guy who feels insecure and unsure of himself, your confidence and self-belief will come through instead (e.g. in the tonality of your voice, your body language and in the way you behave and respond to them).
You will then automatically be more attractive.
Additionally, when your ex girlfriend experiences the new, more emotionally strong, confident you, she will naturally start to feel a surge of respect and attraction for you again.
You can then build on that and get her back if you want to, or move on and find yourself an even better woman than her.
Another common reason why a guy will become insecure around women after a break up is…
2. She was the hottest or one of the hottest women he’s ever been in a relationship with
Sometimes, a guy manages to get into a relationship with a woman who he considers to be way more beautiful than anyone else he’s ever dated before.
This can cause him to think things like, “I’m so lucky that a girl as gorgeous as her wants to be with a guy like me. I don’t know what I did to deserve her, but I know for sure that she’s one of a kind and I’ll never find another woman like her again.”
As a result of thinking that way about her, he puts her on a pedestal and begins to suck up to her (e.g. by always being nice and sweet to her regardless of how badly she treats him, spoiling her with gifts and romantic gestures), because deep down he doesn’t believe that he’s got what it takes to attract another beautiful woman like her.
Essentially, he’s hoping that by making the effort to be the perfect boyfriend to her, she won’t break up with him, even though he believes she can do better than him if she wants to.
So, naturally when she does break up with him, not only is he devastated about losing her, he also panics about his chances of ever finding another woman to replace her in his life, because he doesn’t feel good enough.
This causes him to talk, act and behave in an insecure way when he interacts with other women.
Then, when he gets rejected by them, it only affirms to him what he’s secretly believed all along (i.e. that he’s not worthy of a beautiful woman).
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that lacking confidence in himself and feeling unworthy of a beautiful woman’s love actually turns women off.
Why?
A woman likes the idea of being with a man that she feels will be the envy of her friends, family and other women, because he is always confident in himself and believes in his attractiveness and value to her.
No matter what he’s going through in life, or what other people say or do to make him feel unsure of himself and his value, it doesn’t affect him.
Instead, he always feels confident about himself and knows that he is worthy of any woman he chooses and of anything else he wants in life.
So, when a guy interacts with women and gives off a, “I’m not good enough for you” kind of vibe, it naturally turns them off.
This is why, if you want to find yourself another beautiful woman, or even get your ex back, you have to absolutely believe that you are more than good enough.
If you don’t believe in your value and attractiveness as a man, a woman will pick up on it, feel turned off and it will then become more difficult for you to get another girlfriend, or your ex back if that’s what you want to do.
Another common reason why a guy will become insecure around women after a break up is…
3. She made him feel like he was a horrible boyfriend when she broke up with him
For example: A woman might say things like, “I’ll never be able to understand what made me agree to be your girl in the first place. I should have seen this coming. You were a terrible boyfriend and I must have been crazy to stick around with you as long as I did. It’s all your fault we’re broken up! You’re the one who stuffed everything up, not me.”
Of course, if a guy is emotionally strong, he’s not going to let this get to him and destroy his confidence.
Instead, he’s going to see what she’s saying for what it is – her trying to hurt him to make herself feel better about the break up.
Even if everything she’s saying about him is true, rather than make him feel insecure and like he’s no longer good enough for her or other women, he will usually take it as constructive criticism and then focus on becoming an even better man than before.
Unfortunately though, not all men are that emotionally strong.
So, when a woman blames him for the break up, he takes it to heart and starts believing that he sucks as a boyfriend.
Naturally, thinking that way makes him feel insecure around women, because at the back of his mind he’s usually thinking things like, “What if I’m not good enough to get another quality woman like her?”
His insecurity and self-doubt then comes through during interactions via his actions, behavior and conversation style and he gets rejected, thereby confirming to himself that what he’s thinking is true and that no other woman will want to be his girl again.
Here’s the thing though …
Everyone makes mistakes in relationships, not just you.
How you now recover from the mistakes you made is what really counts.
So, are you going to sit around letting your ex’s words poison your mind into believing that everything is your fault, or are you going to accept responsibility for you actions, learn from your slip up and become a better, more emotionally strong man as a result?
If you don’t, then getting a new woman, or your ex back if you want her, becomes really difficult.
Another common reason why a guy will become insecure around women after a break up is…
4. He knows that he doesn’t really understand what women find attractive and how to keep one happy in a relationship
Sometimes after a break up, a guy might start thinking things like, “Women are so difficult to understand. They never say what they really want and quite often they’ll say one thing and mean another. I just don’t know how to handle that. I always feel that no matter what I do I’m in the wrong. I’ll never be able to hold on to a woman because I’ll never truly understand what she wants. It’s hopeless!”
This may then lead to him feeling insecure and unsure of himself around women and that will naturally contribute to him struggling to find someone new and move on (or get his ex back if he wants to).
Here’s the thing…
A woman will almost never tell a guy what she wants from him.
Instead, she will either give him subtle hints, or say nothing at all and just expect him to figure it out on his own and be the man she wants him to be.
If he can do that, she will respect him, look up to him, feel attracted to him and be loyal to him.
However, if she has to explain to him how to be a man, she will automatically start feeling attracted to other men who don’t need her to explain it.
He will start to look like a confused guy who still hasn’t fully grown up and become a man and she will close herself off from him.
If she’s just getting to know him, she will pull away and focus on finding another man who is already what she wants him to be and if she’s in a relationship with him, she will usually just break up with him and move on.
This is why, it is very important for you to understand what women want from a guy, so that you can easily attract them and keep them happy in a relationship with you.
By the way…
Here are some examples of what the majority of women find attractive in a man:
He is confident and emotionally strong regardless of what is happening in his life (e.g. his woman dumps him, he loses out on a promotion he’s been hoping for, his investments fall through).
He stands up to her and puts her back in her place in a loving, but assertive manner when she’s behaving badly, rather than submit to her and let her walk all over him.
He is loving, attentive and considerate towards her, but he also makes her feel like she needs to be a good woman back to him in order for him to stick with her.
He makes her feel sexy and desirable when she’s with him, rather than making her feel neutral emotions or worse, turned off by him.
He has a definite purpose in life that he’s working towards, so he doesn’t end up being clingy or needy. Instead, he’s an emotionally independent man and that is attractive to her.
He is stronger than her emotionally, so it feels right to her to submit to him sexually.
She’s submitting to a force that is more powerful than her.
He believes in himself and in his value to her and he passes her confidence tests easily.
As a result, she feels like she’s lucky that he’s with her, rather than like she’s doing him a favor because she’s better than him.
These are just a few of the things that a woman looks out for in her relationship with a man.
So, the question that you should ask yourself is, “Am I that kind of guy?”
If the answer is “No,” then it’s very important that you focus on improving those things in you.
Then, when you interact with women, or your ex, from now on, you will easily be able to attract them, because you are now the kind of man that women instinctively feel drawn to.
You can then get your ex back if you want to, or find yourself another, high quality woman to move on with.
The choice is yours.
Another common reason why a guy will become insecure around women after a break up is…
5. He placed way too much importance on her and made her become the main purpose of his life at the time
Some guys mistakenly think that to make a woman feel loved and appreciated in a relationship with him, he has to make her the centre of his world.
As a result, a guy like that might give up all his interests and hobbies, put his personal goals and dreams on hold and even stop hanging out with his friends, just so that he can spend all of his time with her.
Eventually, she becomes his comfort zone and he can no longer make a decision without her approval and guidance.
In other words, he becomes dependent on her for almost everything in his life.
So, when she’s loving and supportive, he feels confident, self-assured, valuable and like he can accomplish anything he wants in his life.
On the other hand, when she’s angry, closed off or unsupportive, he feels insecure, unsure of himself and like he’s worthless.
Unfortunately, this dependency stays with him after he gets broken up with.
As a result, he then can’t move on and find another woman, because his support system (i.e. his ex) is no loner around guiding him, supporting him, encouraging him and making him feel worthy.
Here’s the thing though…
When a guy makes a woman the most important thing in his life, it actually turns her off and makes her feel smothered.
She will then gradually begin to lose respect and attraction for him for not being an emotionally strong, independent man.
Eventually, she will also disconnect from her feelings of love for him as well and this usually leads to her breaking up with him.
What you may not realize is that event though a woman wants to be loved, appreciated and made to feel as though she’s the most important person in her man’s life, she doesn’t want to be the most important thing.
She wants to be with a man who is happy, confident and forward moving in his life, with or without her support, approval or attention.
She doesn’t want to feel as though he will fall apart without her guidance and support.
In the same way, if you want to stop feeling insecure around other women so that you can find yourself a new girlfriend (or re-attract your ex if you want to), you need to become more emotionally independent.
In other words, you need to get to the point in your life where you make your own decisions and feel good about them, regardless of what other people think.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that are by…
- Focusing on achieving some of your big goals, dreams and ambitions in life, regardless or whether other people approve or not.
- Doing something new that you’ve always avoided because your ex (or your friends and family) didn’t approve of it (e.g. a take up a martial art, join a travel club and go to exotic, interesting or even dangerous places, join a dance club, join a mixed sports team with both male and female players).
- Reconnecting with old friends that you stopped seeing because your ex didn’t like them and also focusing on making new ones.
When you focus on becoming genuinely happy and content in your own life, not only does that stop you from feeling nervous and insecure around women, but you also become more attractive to your ex as well.
You can then decide if you want to get her back, or move on with a new woman.
The choice is yours.
Another common reason why a guy will become insecure around women after a break up is…
6. She cheated on him or got with a new guy shortly after their break up
It’s only natural that if a woman cheats on her guy, or moves on really quickly after she breaks up with him, it can make him doubt his attractiveness to her.
He may even begin wondering things like, “Was I bad in bed?” or, “Did she feel turned off by my physical appearance? Wasn’t I good looking enough for her?”
Naturally, this can lead to him feeling insecure when he’s around other women, because at the back of his mind he’s always wondering if they find him unattractive.
He might then focus on changing his physical appearance by giving himself a makeover or by going to the gym and losing some weight or building some muscle.
Yet, here’s the thing…
What a guy like that doesn’t realize is that a man’s emotional attractiveness is much more important to a woman than his physical attractiveness.
In other words, an average guy who is confident, self-assured, emotionally strong, ballsy and emotionally masculine is a hundred times more attractive to women than a really handsome guy who is insecure, unsure of himself, timid and emotionally sensitive.
This is why, if you want to find yourself a new woman, or even better, get your ex girlfriend back, you need to focus on improving your emotional attractiveness.
Then, when you interact with women, they will be able to pick up on it and they will automatically feel attracted to you.
Remember: A woman needs to be able to look up to her man and feel like she is lucky to have him, not like she’s doing him a favor by being his girlfriend, because he believes he can’t get anyone else other than her.
So, regardless of what happened with your ex, you have to get to the point where you believe in yourself and in your value and attractiveness as a man.
If you don’t, you will end up staying stuck in relationship limbo where you can’t attract a new woman and you also can’t re-attract your ex.
Don’t make that mistake.
Believe in yourself and then get the woman you really want (e.g. a new woman or your ex girlfriend back).
You can do it!
Another common reason why a guy will become insecure around women after a break up is…
7. She made him feel like he really needed her
Some women love the idea of having a man wrapped around their little finger.
It gives them a sense of power knowing that their guy is totally dependent on her and cannot function without her.
For example: A woman like that will constantly belittle her guy and say things like, “You’re so lucky to have me. You know that if I wasn’t your girl you would never have passed your exams/gotten that promotion at work/found that job. You need me.”
This wears at the guy’s sense of self worth and before long he truly believes that he really needs his woman and can’t do without her.
Unfortunately though, when a woman like that dumps her guy, he feels totally lost and insecure without her.
This then leads to him being unable to move on and find himself a new woman, because he doesn’t believe he’s capable of doing things on his own.
This is why, if something like this has happened to you, you have to focus on rebuilding your feelings of value and self worth.
You need to pick yourself up and start moving forward with confidence, knowing that you can re-attract your ex, or other quality women if you choose to do so.
Another way of saying that is, if you want to find a new woman to date and fall in love with, or get your ex back, you need to believe that you can.
Believing that you can starts filling you up with the kind of confidence that causes you to think, talk, behave and act in ways that are naturally attractive to the majority of women (i.e. you have high self-esteem, you don’t doubt your value and attractiveness as a man regardless of what happened with your ex, you’re comfortable flirting with women and making them want you sexually).
So, go ahead and believe in yourself and in your value to women and your ex and let them sense that as you interact with them.
You will then be able to re-attract your ex girlfriend back, or attract a new woman if you prefer to do that instead.
It’s all up to you.
4 Mistakes That Can Cause a Guy to Remain Insecure After a Break Up and Prevent Him From Getting His Ex Back
By the way…
If you don’t want to stay stuck in a place where your negative emotions prevent you from moving forward and either re-attracting your ex, or finding yourself a new woman, you need to avoid the following mistakes:
1. Not using the break up as a wake up call to become better at attracting women
You can look at your break up as a terrible thing and allow it to erode your feelings of self worth, or you can use it as an opportunity to become a better, more emotionally strong, confident man.
It’s actually a choice you can make for yourself.
On the one hand you can wallow in misery and pain and keep telling yourself that your ex girlfriend has made you become insecure around women.
On the other hand, you can is regain control of your emotions.
Then, focus on replacing feelings of insecurity and desperation with feelings of confidence, emotional strength and emotional masculinity.
The more you embrace your true self (e.g. the confident, emotionally strong version of you) vs. the man you think your ex created (i.e. the insecure guy who doubts himself and his value to women), the more attractive you will become to your ex and to other women.
Then decide what you want (i.e. to get your ex back or move on) and make it happen.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Not realizing that he can actually level up and re-attract her quite quickly
If you truly believe that your ex is the one for you, then just focus on getting her back for another chance at the relationship.
You can do that by leveling up as a man and using a different approach to attraction with her than you did before, so you can reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
When she feels a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for you during interactions, she will naturally open herself up to the possibility of you and her being together as a couple, or at least hooking up again to see how she feels.
So, don’t waste any more time feeling despondent and like you have to stay stuck in a place where you can’t move forward.
If you want to get your ex back, just do it.
It’s actually a lot easier than you might think.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Assuming that he will never be able to gain control over this area of his life
Sometimes a guy can waste a lot of time feeling like he just doesn’t have what it takes to attract quality women.
A guy like that may end up staying single, becoming bitter and jaded about love and go around saying things like, “Women don’t want guys like me so, what’s the point of even bothering with love?”
Alternatively, he might get into relationships with women he doesn’t really want (e.g. unattractive or insecure women), because that’s the best he can do.
This is why, if you want to get your ex back, or to find yourself another high quality woman, it’s absolutely essential that you improve your ability to make women feel attracted to you.
The more you think, act and behave in attractive ways (e.g. being confident. Charming, charismatic, using humor to make women feel good to be around you), the easier it becomes for you to attract any woman you want, including re-attracting your ex.
On the other hand, if you keep telling yourself that your ex girlfriend has made you become insecure around women, you may end up alone and bitter and regret it for the rest of your life.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
4. Not realizing that many guys are now using break ups with women to transform themselves into more attractive men and then getting their ex woman back just for fun
Know that from now on, you are going to be in control of how you feel about yourself and you’re not going to let anyone else affect that.
What matters is how you feel about yourself.
The more you believe in yourself and in your value as a man, the more your attitude, actions, behavior and conversation style will portray that.
You will then automatically seem more attractive to women, because you are displaying the traits that women instinctively feel attracted to in men,
You can then have your choice of woman, or get your ex back if you want to.
Thousands of other guys have done it and you can do it too.
You just have to believe that you can and then start taking the necessary steps towards getting her back.
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