Sometimes a guy will feel so hurt, betrayed and angry with a girlfriend who broke up with him that he will want to say some hurtful things to her, to hopefully cause her to experience the kind of emotional pain he has been experiencing since the break up.
Essentially, he wants to get a little taste of revenge, in the hope that it makes him feel better and makes her suffer.
Yet, although it can be a temporary adrenaline rush to say hurtful things to an ex, it often becomes something a guy will regret saying for years or decades of his life.
So, here are 13 examples hurtful of things a guy might choose to say to his ex girlfriend (fiancé or wife) after a break up, to hopefully hurt her:
1. I never really loved you
That’s probably the most hurtful things a guy can say to a woman.
Not only will it cause her pain, but it can also make her doubt the entire relationship.
Then, every time she remembers a treasured moment they shared or begins to miss him, she will realize that it was probably only special to her because he never loved her.
That can cause her to feel insecure and have trust issues in future relationships (i.e. because she will always be wondering if the guy truly loves her, or is just stringing her along like her ex).
Of course, that might be something her ex will feel happy about because he will have accomplished his goal of hurting her.
Yet, it can and often does backfire.
For example: If he doesn’t really mean it and she then says, “Well I never really loved you either,” it can end up causing him emotional pain and stress instead.
Additionally, when he gets over the initial pain of the break up, he might realize that it was an emotionally immature thing to say and end up regretting it.
2. I never liked your body anyway
That might seem like a fun, nasty thing to say to an ex because it can really hurt her feelings.
It will usually work too, because most women feel insecure about some aspect of their body.
For example: In a global survey, it was found that 97% of women have a negative body image.
So, it’s almost guaranteed that a guy telling his ex he never liked her body will hit a sensitive nerve.
It can then affect her desire to have sex with a new guy, or even be seen naked by a guy, which may then negatively affect her next relationship.
Yet, although her ex might feel good about causing her emotional pain in that way, he might end up regretting it in future.
His words can play on his mind and make him feel guilty for hurting her, when he could have just gone through the steps to get her back, or moved on by finding a new woman to love.
If he does say it, chances are high that she’ll never want anything to do with him again, because she won’t want to feel insecure about her body in his presence.
If he does get another chance, she won’t believe him if he tries to convince her that he only said it to hurt her.
She will know that there was an element of truth to what he said, or was the whole truth and therefore, she is with a guy who doesn’t even like her body.
That can then lead to her breaking up with him once again.
3. I regret ever being with you
Saying that can hurt her, but it can also backfire if she says, “Yeah, I regret being with you too. You were the biggest mistake of my life.”
He then feels rejected by her all over again.
As a result, the only person he really ends up hurting is himself.
4. I knew from day one that we’d break up. I’m relieved it has finally happened
If a guy says that to his ex woman, she may wonder:
- Why did he know we’d break up since day one?
- Was he just using me for sex, or something to do for a while?
- Did he have another woman, or women lined up and waiting to replace me?
- Was he cheating on me?
- Did he ever think I wasn’t good enough for him?
- Was he with me to make his family happy?
- Was he even attracted to me?
- What is wrong with me?
- Was I the only one who felt love?
- How could I have missed that? I thought he was really into me and wanted to be with me for life.
It then plants seeds of doubt in her mind about future relationships with other men, which can then result in her becoming a little more insecurity, clingy, needy, jealous or irrational in relationships.
As a result, she may end up experiencing multiple break ups with new men, due to her emotional instability and how it turns the men off.
Yet, saying that to an ex woman can also backfire, especially if she says, “So am I. I’m glad it’s over. I knew it wouldn’t work. I didn’t love you, but didn’t have the heart to tell you.”
He then feels rejected by her once again.
5. You are hopeless in bed and I never enjoyed it. Every other woman was way better than you
Being told that she sucks in bed can begin to ruin her confidence and make her doubt her attractiveness in the bedroom.
If she’d previously been dumped by a boyfriend that she really loved, she may wonder if not being good enough in bed was the real reason why.
This can result in her wanting to sleep with a lot of men to improve her skills, which probably isn’t the effect her ex wants to have on her.
Alternatively, if she is shy and unsure of herself, or it was her first serious relationship, saying something like that can cause her to struggle to open up again sexually to another guy.
As a result, she may go into her shell and remain single for many months following the break up.
6. You have daddy issues and will never grow up
If a woman opened up about her issues regarding her father (e.g. he wasn’t there for her emotionally, they didn’t connect, he left when she was a baby or toddler, he was emotionally or even physically abusive towards her), then she will be furious and disappointed at her ex for now trying to use that against her.
Additionally, if she already has trouble trusting men out of fear of being hurt or emotionally abused, then saying something like, “You have daddy issues and need to get help” or, “You have daddy issues and will never grow up” will further convince her that men can’t be trusted with her secrets, or trusted to take care of her emotionally and have her back.
It can then result in her being very closed up and guarded in her next relationship, which might result in the guy dumping her, cheating on her or becoming very needy and clingy and then getting dumped by her.
So, by saying that hurtful thing to an ex, a guy can get his revenge by knowing that she will likely struggle to move on and trust another guy in future.
Of course, if a man wants to get his ex back, then he shouldn’t use her secrets as a weapon to bring her down.
Instead, if he honestly loves her, wants to get back with her and wants the relationship to last, he should love her patiently and be by her side as she matures and lets go of her previous daddy issues.
7. I should have cheated on you
Saying something like that can suggest a guy had other women interested in him during the relationship, but didn’t hook up with them out of loyalty to her.
Hearing that can make a woman wonder who those women were, where he met them and what he did to make them interested.
It can temporarily hurt her, because it she can feel as though she didn’t truly have his heart in the relationship.
She may then wonder, “Was I ever good enough for him? Was he actually attracted to me? Was he only with me for something to do?” and so on.
She might also feel emotionally betrayed by him (e.g. by imaging him flirting with other women), even though he didn’t physically cheat on her.
In some cases though, a woman won’t care.
She might even respond with, “Well clearly you didn’t or you wouldn’t be saying you ‘should have’ cheated on me and now we’re broken up. So, why even bother saying that to me? Do you honestly think I care?”
He then feels let down because his attempt to hurt her has backfired.
8. I cheated on you, but never told you
Mutual trust and respect are required for a relationship to last.
So, even though the relationship has broken up, saying something like, “I cheated on you, but never told you” will ruin her trust in him.
It can also make her feel that the relationship with him was a sham and if she truly loved him, it will be painful for her to find out that he cheated.
It may also cause her to think about what might have happened if she fell pregnant to him in the relationship (e.g. she’d be stuck with a cheater as her child’s father).
As a result, she might become very cautious or even untrusting in future relationships, which could cause relationship problems for her.
BTW: There’s also a chance that saying he cheated her can backfire.
It might be the opportunity she’s been looking for to confess that she cheated on him, but never wanted to admit it prior.
He then ends up being the one who feels betrayed, because he was only saying it to be hurtful, whereas she really did cheat on him.
9. I was just using you for sex and then we got into a relationship. I never planned on staying with you anyway
Essentially, he made her believe that he wanted to commit to her or loved her, but he was just wasting her time.
This can hurt a woman because she knows that, with each year that passes, her youthful attractiveness fades.
The older she gets, the harder it becomes to attract quality men because they’re all either taken, or interested in women who are younger and more fertile than her.
10. I lowered my standards to be with you
This can be effective if a woman feels that the guy was out of her league (e.g. better educated than her, wealthier, more physically attractive).
Even though she might have felt confident prior to him saying that, after he says it, she will be forced to wonder if he is telling the truth.
Of course, it can also backfire if she says something like, “Other way around buddy. I lowered my standards for you. You aren’t my type, aren’t good looking enough and weren’t good in bed. Bye!”
11. Now I know exactly what I don’t want in a woman
Most women like the idea of making a lasting impression on a man.
Even after a break up, a woman usually hopes that he will always remember her and miss certain things about her.
So, when a guy suggests that he doesn’t want a woman like her, it can really dent her ego.
She can then wonder things like, “Is he saying that I’m not physically attractive enough? Am I not smart enough? Was I too boring? Is it something about my personality that I’m not aware of? What turned him off? What doesn’t he like about me exactly?”
Then, when she meets new guy, she worry that she is turning them off in the same way she turned off her ex.
Of course, as always, it can backfire if she says something like, “Same here. I now know that I don’t want an insecure guy like you. I’m glad it’s over and I’ll never make the same mistake again.”
12. My friends (or family) never really liked you
If she liked his friends (or family) and assumed she had a good relationship with them, hearing those words can hurt.
She can begin to feel insecure about her ability to tell if people like her or not, which can result in her not wanting to invest too much into future relationships.
However, it can also backfire if she is still in touch with her ex’s friends or family.
She may mention what he said and they might then say the opposite (i.e. they always cared about her, enjoyed her company, had a great relationship with her and will miss her).
13. You’re the most boring, unattractive woman I’ve ever been with. You think you’re special, but you’re not. You will realize that one day
If a woman thinks of herself as being fairly cool or attractive, saying something like that can mess with her confidence.
Alternatively, if she’s insecure and is the type who pretends to be confident and happy, that comment will hit home for her.
She might then begin to worry about finding a guy who sees her value, or might avoid dating to prevent herself from feeling rejected, or unworthy.
Her ex will have then gotten his revenge.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Do you really want to hurt your ex, or do you actually want her back?
You might feel betrayed or angry at her for dumping you, but in a few days or weeks, your anger will begin to fade.
You may then realize that what you really wanted all along, was another real chance with her.
So, I wouldn’t recommend trying to hurt her if you actually want her back.
Instead, just give yourself a few days to relax and let go of the hate, anger or bitterness you feel towards her.
Then, get yourself ready to interact with her, re-attract her and get her back.
Once you haven gotten her back, you can then decide what to do from there (e.g. dump her to hurt her, or build on the new, improved relationship and be happy, in love and committed to each other from then on).
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