Here are the 3 most common reasons why a woman will say something like, “I don’t want to give you false hope,” to a guy that she is dating, as well as 8 reasons why she will say it to an ex boyfriend.
First, here are 3 examples of when a woman will say it to a guy that she is seeing, dating or sleeping with:
1. She wants him to understand that she only plans on being with him temporarily
She sees him as a fling, or a guy that she is seeing for now, but doesn’t plan on settling down with him.
Of course, what a woman plans and what happens in her life are often two different things.
For example: When a guy in a situation like that levels up his ability to attract her in ways that she really wants (e.g. being more of a challenge, being more dominant in a loving way, flirting with her, being more manly), she will suddenly feel a lot more attracted to him.
She will then fall more in love with him and realize that she doesn’t want to lose him, or leave him.
Before she knows it, many months will have passed by and she’ll still be keen to see him, be with him and explore her compelling feelings for him.
From there, as long as he is able to maintain her attraction, she won’t want to break up with him.
She will see him as the one for her, even if she didn’t think that way in the beginning.
Another example of a woman saying, “I don’t want to give you false hope” is…
2. She is secretly planning on dumping him when she finds a suitable replacement guy
She believes he isn’t her ideal match (e.g. because they’re very really compatible, they seem to want different things in life, she’s not really attracted to him, he doesn’t feel comfortable around her friends or family or fit in with them, he’s too nice, he’s a little too insecure for her).
Yet, she is the kind of woman who doesn’t like to be single and prefers to be in a relationship, even if the guy isn’t her ideal.
Deep down, she knows that if she meets another guy who makes her feel more sexually and romantically attracted, she will be open to cheating, or dumping him to be with the new guy.
As a result, she tries to warn her current boyfriend by saying, “I don’t want to give you false hope” so he doesn’t become too invested in her, or fall further in love with her.
Of course, he can turn the situation around by improving his ability to attract her in ways that really matter to her, but most guys don’t do that.
Most guys just become nicer, more insecure, more emotionally sensitive and as a result, become more unattractive to the woman.
3. She feels too young to settle down, but he clearly wants more than just a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with her
Sometimes, a woman just doesn’t want to the pressures of a more committed relationship (e.g. getting engaged, married, having a family).
Instead, she will want to focus on her career (or studies), on having a good time and enjoying her life (e.g. going to parties, traveling, doing whatever she wants, whenever she wants).
Of course, if her guy is on the same level as her and wants the same kind of things, the relationship will work.
Yet, if he’s more emotionally mature and is ready to settle down, or if he’s way more in love with her than she is with him, then she won’t want to give him false hope.
Next, let’s have a look at why a woman will say it to an ex boyfriend:
1. She still has enough feelings to talk to him, but currently believes she doesn’t want to get back together with him
She thinks of her ex in a more neutral way (i.e. like a friend) and doesn’t feel drawn to him in a sexual or romantic way anymore.
As a result, she might still enjoy talking to him as a friend, but won’t want him to think she’s interested in anything more (i.e. give him false hope that he can get her back).
Of course, if he realizes what she really wants (e.g. for him to be more of a challenge, for him to be a lot more confident, for him to start flirting with her to create sexual tension rather than just talking to her in a neutral way, or like a rejected ex who is now unworthy of her), her feelings for him will naturally begin to change.
She will go from feeling neutral to feeling sexually attracted again and will naturally want to give him another chance as a result.
2. She is being nice to him after the breakup, but he sees it as meaning that he has a chance with her
In some cases, a woman will continue to make an effort to be nice to her ex after a breakup, to make him feel good about himself as they move on without each other.
Yet, the guy won’t realize that and will be hinting at getting back together, asking for another chance, or telling her how much he misses her and is struggling to function without her.
At that point, a woman will say something like, “Just to be clear – we’re not getting back together. I’ve made my decision. It’s over. We’re just talking as friends now. I know we get along, but I don’t want to give you false hope and make you think that there’s a chance for us. It’s over now and you need to accept that.”
In other cases, a woman might be a little less direct and say, “I do still love you, but I don’t see us getting back together. We can talk, but I don’t want to give you false hope.”
3. She is planning on dating a new guy she likes, but doesn’t want to admit it yet
She might do that because:
- She’s worried he might react emotionally (e.g. cry, beg and plead, promise to do whatever she wants for another chance) and she doesn’t want to deal with that right now.
- She wants to make sure the relationship with the new guy works before she fully cuts her ex out of her life. So, she continues talking to him and seems to be interested, but then says something like, “I don’t want to give you false hope” to keep him at a distance.
- She doesn’t want him to cause problems with her new guy (e.g. he confronts the new guy online, starts a fight in person, interrupts their dates).
- She doesn’t want him trying to get her back now that she’s moving on.
- She was interested prior to meeting the new guy, but now wants to start pushing her ex away.
4. She has already kissed or slept with a new guy, but isn’t quite sure about him yet
In a case like that, a woman will be getting ready to cut ties with her ex if the relationship with the new guy works out.
To prepare her ex in advance, she will tell him she doesn’t want to give him false hope about them having a future together.
That way, he hopefully won’t take it too hard if she stops talking to him, unfriends him from social media, or blocks his number to focus on her new guy.
Her ex can still get her back, but he has to be willing to make her feel new sparks of attraction, by using a new approach to attraction.
If her ex just uses the same old approach that she became bored of in the relationship, she will naturally feel more attracted and interested in the new guy.
5. She likes him, but knows that he’s too much of a nice guy for her to be happy with for life
A woman like that usually wants a good guy who is a challenge (i.e. makes her feel the need to impress him and maintain his interest, while also treating her well and respecting her. Puts her back in her place in a dominant, but loving way. Laughs at her in a loving way when she is being ridiculous, or unreasonable. Playfully teases her. Doesn’t allow himself to be walked all over by her confident, independent or strong personality type), rather than a nice guy who is too predictable and easy.
So, she breaks up with him.
If he then tries to get her back, she will say something like, “I don’t want to give you false hope,” rather than hurting his feelings by saying something like, “You’re not man enough for me. You’re too nice, too soft, too gentle. You need more balls, more courage. You let me walk all over you in the relationship. I felt too powerful. You were too wimpy…too weak.”
A guy in that situation doesn’t have to become a ‘bad boy’ or treat her badly to get her back.
Instead, (if this particular section applies to you), continue being a good guy, but make sure that you’re also being a challenge (e.g. don’t always agree with everything she says, stand up to her in an assertive, but loving way if she creates drama, take the lead in the ex back process, rather than leaving it all up to her).
If you can offer her the kind of attraction experience she really wants, she will naturally want to hook up with you again to see how she feels, or just get back with you because she knows how difficult it is to find a good guy, who is also a challenge.
6. She currently believes the relationship wouldn’t work out if they got back together
In other words, she knows that her ex doesn’t understand how to attract her, or how to handle her personality type.
So, if she gives him another chance, it won’t feel good for her and the relationship will fall apart once again.
This is why you need to let your ex experience the changes you’ve made since the break up (e.g. you’re more confident, more assertive, less clingy and jealous, more manly, more able to handle her personality type), so she can see that you aren’t so bad after all.
In fact, she now feels more attracted to you than she did in the relationship.
When that happens, she naturally wants to give you another chance, rather than walking away, never finding a man who understands her and regretting losing you for the rest of her life (e.g. if you move on and settle down with another woman).
7. She is stringing him along to make the breakup easier to deal with for her
By stringing her ex along, she is able to gradually get over the breakup and move on, while knowing that her ex still cares for her and wants her back.
Then, when she’s over him or has a new boyfriend, she can cut off all ties with him (or tell him to no longer contact her because she doesn’t want it to mess up her new relationship), without it being painful for her.
In some cases, a woman will also string an ex along and give him false hope, but will say that she doesn’t want to give him false hope.
She will do that to confuse him, make him avoid dating a new woman and not move on before she does.
That way, she doesn’t have to feel rejected and left behind, if he moves on before her.
8. She knows that she currently misses him, but also knows that her feelings could change if she meets a new guy
In a case like that, her feelings for him aren’t very strong and he’s not doing much to change that (e.g. he’s just being a nice, supportive friend to her now, which doesn’t make a woman feel attracted).
Here’s the thing…
It’s totally fine to remain friends with your ex, but you have to make sure that you are actively making her feel sexually attracted as well.
Sexual attraction is what makes all the difference.
If she doesn’t feel that way about you, then she will only see you as a friend, or an ex that she is now over and wants to move on from.
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