Here are 11 of the most common reasons why a woman will dump her boyfriend who felt more like a friend to her than anything else:
1. She loved and appreciated him as a person, but could see that he had no idea how to create a spark with her again
Most guys have a general idea of how to get a girl out on a date and start off a relationship with a romantic spark.
Yet, some guys don’t know how to maintain the romantic spark and continue to build on it over time.
As a result, the spark will eventually die and the man and woman will begin to feel more like friends.
If the woman can see that he doesn’t know how to fix the problem, she will begin to disconnect from her feelings and prepare herself for a potential breakup.
When she’s ready, she will eventually say something about them being more like friends than lovers, or boyfriend and girlfriend as her reason for leaving him.
BTW: If your girlfriend dumped you for that reason, you need to do the following when you interact with her:
- Be flirtatious with her to build sexual tension between you and her, so she wants to release it with touching, kissing and sex. For example: You’re talking and she laughs at one of your jokes. You then say, “You look sexy when you laugh.” Alternatively, she’s wearing a sexy outfit that shows her breasts. Rather than saying something a friend would say like, “Oh, you look nice” say something that a lover would say like, “Oh, hello tits” or, “Wow, you look sexy. How long are you planning on keeping that dress on? You can take it off now if you want.” She will laugh, feel attracted and there will be sexual tension between you and her.
- Use playfully challenging humor to make her laugh and smile and feel good around you, rather than only using nice, bored or predictable types of humor that you possibly got into the habit of doing near the end of the relationship.
- Tease her in a playful way to make her feel attracted, rather than only having straightforward, logical or neutral conversations with her.
When you make her experience sexual and romantic sparks for you again, she then automatically realizes that you and her aren’t like friends anymore; you are like two people beginning to fall in love, or two people who have been in love for a long time and are still feeling attracted to each other.
As a result, she then wants to give you another chance because she knows it will feel good for her too.
Another reason why a woman will dump a boyfriend for being more like a friend than a lover…
2. She initially thought that a relationship would be ideal if the couple were more like friends, but eventually realized that it just doesn’t work that way
Sometimes a woman will believe that being friends, or best friends is the key to a happy relationship.
Yet, it’s not.
The key to a happy relationship is a sexual and romantic spark, followed by all of the other good stuff (e.g. mutual respect, friendship, trust, loyalty, commitment, adaptability, communication, appreciation and so on).
When a couple has that, they will be in love romantically.
However, when a couple only has a good friendship, mutual respect, great communication and so on, they will feel more like friends.
It doesn’t matter how much a woman tries to convince herself that it’s okay, she will never truly feel happy in that kind of relationship.
So, what should a man do?
The best approach as a man is to always look at your woman as a new woman that you are attracting and seducing, rather than looking at her as a friend that you just hang out with, or pay bills with.
It doesn’t mean you and her can’t be friends.
However, you need to use flirting and other natural attraction methods to make her feel sexually attracted as well.
If you don’t, the woman will never be truly happy and will be unable to continue loving you in a romantic way.
Before long, you will get broken up with once again.
BTW: If you want your girlfriend back, you can make that happen.
You just need to be willing to approach her in a different way from now on (i.e. create new sparks with her, rather than being neutral like a friend).
If you create new sparks, she will naturally feel compelled to give you another chance, or at least sleep with you again to see how she feels afterward.
3. She tried flirting with him, but he either didn’t notice, didn’t feel like he needed to reciprocate, or didn’t feel attracted enough to reciprocate
This is where a lot of guys mess up in relationships.
A guy will usually start off being very focused on making his woman feel attracted to him and noticed by him (e.g. he compliments her on her appearance, can’t keep his hands off her, sends her horny texts, takes her on romantic dinner dates, is loving and attentive, is confident around her, leads the way like a man), but then stop doing those things and just start acting more like a good friend.
Why will he do that?
It depends on the guy. In some cases:
- He doesn’t actually know that he needs to actively maintain the spark and build on it over time. Instead, he assumes that if a good enough spark was there at the start, then she won’t forget it and will want to stick with him for life based on that.
- He doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience, so he assumes it’s normal to end up feeling more like friends or roommates.
- He was never really that attracted to her in the beginning and only got with her because she grew on him, for something to do for a while, or because he couldn’t find anything better. So, he doesn’t feel motivated to keep the spark alive.
When a woman finds herself in a relationship like that, she will usually try to get the spark back by suggesting they go on holiday, go on dates, or by making herself look more physically attractive and appealing.
If she tries and he doesn’t seem to care, notice or want to flirt with her, she will lose more interest and start preparing herself to dump him.
4. She didn’t feel sparks when kissing him anymore
In some cases, a couple can be married or in a relationship for decades and still feel the same kind of sparks they did in the beginning.
This happens when the relationship dynamic is correct (i.e. naturally and consistently produces feelings of love and attraction).
The best relationship dynamic is when the guy makes his woman feel loved, appreciated and valued, but also makes her feel motivated to do the same in return for him.
In other words, they both feel the need to impress each other, take care of each other and maintain the other’s interest.
This results in both of them continuing to be attractive (e.g. the man being confident and manly in his behavior, using flirting and humor, being charming at times. The woman being warm, loving, feminine and taking care of her physical appearance to be as physically attractive as possible).
When that happens, a couple naturally continues to feel sparks when they kiss.
I know that personally because I’ve been with my wife for almost 9 years as of typing this article.
When we kiss or have sex, it’s pretty much always like the first time.
The spark is still just as strong as it used to be, but in a way, it’s even stronger because of how deep the love has become over time.
It’s a beautiful thing to experience and results in both you and the woman feeling sexually and romantically attracted to each other and only wanting to be with each other.
5. She found herself coming up with more excuses to avoid sex
When a woman no longer feels sexually attracted to her boyfriend, the idea of having sex with him will start to feel more like a chore, rather than something she looks forward to.
If you think about it, most people don’t have sex with their friends.
Instead, they just hang out and get along as friends.
Of course, there are friends who hook up, but they feel sexually attracted to each other (i.e. there is a spark between them).
Many guys are unaware of the mistake they’re making, which then results in a girlfriend feeling sexually turned off, so the guy just keeps doing it.
For example: On one end of the spectrum, a guy will be very needy and will always want to be around his woman, need cuddles from her (rather than just giving her a hug, or having a hug), or be reassured that she loves him or wants him.
Since women are turned off by neediness and desperation, she won’t want to have sex with him and will come up with more and more excuses to not do it.
On the other end of the spectrum, a guy will be emotionally withdrawn and will just hang out with her like she’s a roommate, or buddy that he chills with.
He will stop initiating sex with her and just secretly take care of himself (i.e. masturbate) a few times a week, or more.
After a while, the couple will go for many days in between having sex, then a week, then weeks, then it will be once a month, or once every couple of months.
Eventually, it will feel more like a friendship between a man and a woman, who occasionally have sex more out of a sense of obligation (i.e. feeling like they have to do it because they’re supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend), than desire.
6. He didn’t feel comfortable embracing a more traditionally masculine role
In other words, he didn’t take on a more dominant one in the relationship and preferred it when she took the lead (e.g. she made most of the decisions, she was the more emotionally dominant one).
Sometimes, a guy will do that because he was raised by a single mother, who only showed him love if he was a good boy and did what he was told.
Alternatively, a guy was raised by both parents, but his father was a bit of a wimp around his mother and he ended up copying that behavior.
In another example, a guy is the younger brother to several sisters who shape him into a soft, sensitive guy by bossing him around and only rewarding him when he respects them and follows their lead.
Having an upbringing like that can then lead a guy to not want to be ‘the man’ in a relationship and instead, take a back seat and let the woman lead.
In his mind, he feels like he is doing the right thing, but for the woman, it isn’t attractive or appealing.
The reality is that women feel more attracted to a man who is comfortable being masculine and embraces his role as ‘the man’ vs. a guy who suppresses his masculinity, acts more like a friend or ‘one of the girls’ around her to get along with her, or believes that it’s disrespectful to a woman to be lovingly assertive, lead the way and be manly.
7. She felt a lot more mature than him and he never caught up to her, or surpassed her
For example: A couple might start off enjoying the single life, partying, being carefree and not worrying about the kind of responsibilities that other couples have.
Then, over time, they mature and want to settle down and focus more on their career, a big goal or dream in life, getting married and starting a family together and so on.
The couple then matures together and experiences the next levels of a relationship, rather than remaining stuck at the level they used to be at.
Yet, if a woman discovers that she’s matured a lot faster than her guy (e.g. she’s ready to settle down for real, but he just wants to play video games, party with friends, hang out and waste time on things), then she may start to look down on him as being an immature guy who is holding her back.
Additionally, if she has to fight their battles as a couple (e.g. when they encounter challenges in everyday life), make important decisions, support him emotionally and essentially be the stronger, more mature one for the both of them, she can quickly start to feel tired of it all.
It can then begin to feel more like a parent-child relationship for her, rather than a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship, which then naturally ruins her feelings of sexual attraction.
As a result, she then feels more like a friend than a lover to him and wants to break up.
8. She suspected he was never really that attracted to her and just got with her because he could
Sometimes a guy will accept a woman just because she is there as an option (e.g. they go to school/university together, hang out in the same social group), rather than him immediately being blown away by feelings of attraction for her.
Essentially, he gets to a point where he thinks, “Why not?” and hooks up with her, but doesn’t really find her very attractive.
Initially, a woman like that usually doesn’t care because the guy is more attractive to her, or the guy seems like a challenge and it’s interesting and appealing to her.
Yet, because he isn’t very attracted to her, he doesn’t feel the motivation to be an amazing man for her, or be attractive and make her feel desirable, noticed, appreciated and wanted.
As a result, he ends up treating her more like a friend, rather than the woman he is totally serious about.
She then begins to worry that he might cheat on her, or dump her if he finds something better.
So she dumps him first and then tries to move on.
9. He became like a girlfriend to her
For example: A guy might end up gossiping with her like her girlfriends do, talking on the phone with her for hours about random things, mirroring her behavior in some ways, being emotionally sensitive, or changing his mind all the time like she does, or like a woman does.
As a result, his girlfriend naturally stops looking at him as ‘the man’ and starts seeing him as being more like a friend.
At that point, she might continue to have sex with him for a while and hope that things get better.
Yet, if she doesn’t really enjoy it anymore, or finds herself wishing he’d just finish and get it over with, or imagines being with another man, she will realize that her feelings for him aren’t pretty much dead.
If he doesn’t change and man up, she will eventually have ‘the talk’ with him and end the relationship.
10. She knew they were only staying with each other out of convenience
Sometimes a couple will only stay together because:
- They share bills.
- One or both of them can’t be bothered getting back into the dating scene.
- One or both of them can’t be bothered arranging to move out, rent a new place or find new housemates.
- The woman doesn’t want to commit to a more serious relationship, so she has what seems like a real boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with a guy that she isn’t totally serious about.
- Having someone who is ‘okay’ is better than having no one at all.
- They don’t want to feel left out when hanging out with friends who are couples.
Although a woman will often stick around in situations like that for months or even years, it will eventually cause her to feel like she’s missing out on finding ‘the one.’
She will then dump her guy and try to find a man who she can be totally serious about.
Her ex can be that man, but he has to be willing to create new sparks of sexual and romantic attraction inside of her, rather than trying to get her back by telling her how much he cares, being nicer, cutting off contact for months and other ineffective ex back methods.
11. She started to feel the pressure to find a relationship that would lead to marriage and children
Sometimes, a woman will suddenly feel the urge to want to start a family, or be married, even if she was totally against that before (e.g. because she’s getting older, all her friends are settling down around her, her family is pressuring her, her biological clock suddenly switches on).
So, if her relationship feels more like a friendship, she won’t want to expand that into a married relationship with a family.
She will want to be able to experience romantic love if she has children with a man, or marries him, rather than feeling like a couple of buddies raising a child, or children and never feeling much or any sparks for him.
As a result, she will dump her guy and try to find a man who will be a better fit for the long term (i.e. a man who knows how to be more than just a friend to her).
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