Letting your ex see that you are happy without her can result in different reactions, depending on her personality and the reasons for the breakup.
1. She feels like she can communicate with you again, without you trying to get her back
Seeing you happy (e.g. via your social media posts) can make her assume that you probably aren’t feeling desperate to get her back anymore, so you wouldn’t immediately try to get her back if she contacted you, or even showed a little interest.
Likewise, seeing you happy without her in person (e.g. at a bar, at a mutual friend’s place, at work, etc), can result in her feeling like you are doing fine without her and therefore, wouldn’t immediately begin pursuing a relationship with her again if she talked to you.
On the other hand, if your ex notices that you are sad, lost or lonely without her, she will usually keep her guard up and want to remain at a distance until you begin to seem happy without her, or have moved on and no longer need her to be happy.
Another possible reaction if your ex sees you happy, is…
2. She feels attracted and begins to regret letting you go
When she sees that you are happy without her, it suggests that you haven’t been sitting around feeling sad, lonely and lost without her since the breakup.
Instead, you’ve been getting on with your life without her.
That shows emotional strength, which is a trait that women find irresistibly attractive in men.
It also changes her perception of you.
She stops looking at you as the guy she broke up with (e.g. insecure, unsure of yourself, too emotionally dependent on her) and begins to look at you in a new, more positive light.
As a result, the idea of losing a better version of you begins to bother her, even though previously she felt happy with her decision to break up.
She also feels slightly rejected (e.g. because you’re not begging and pleading with her to change her mind like she was expecting) and left behind.
Feeling that way can then make her want to reconcile the relationship to make herself feel better, or at least turn on her charms to get you back temporarily to prove that she can.
Important: Ensure that you maintain the position of power with her, rather than letting her turn the tables and make you feel lucky to be getting her back.
Deep down, believe that she is lucky to be getting you back and don’t let anything she says or does change your mind about that.
Don’t tell her that she’s lucky to be getting you back.
Just let her feel it.
Ironically, that is how women actually want to feel around a man anyway, so you’re not going to be doing anything wrong.
Women feel more attracted to guys who are a challenge and who can make a woman feel lucky to be with them, while also treating her well.
If you don’t be the challenge that she wants and instead, become needy, clingy, too nice and agreeable or hand over your power to her, she will almost certainly break up with you once she has satisfied her ego (i.e. it becomes clear to her that she still has power over you and can get you back any time she wants).
3. She feels rejected and then compelled to start enjoying life without you
Sometimes a woman waits and hopes that her ex will try and get her back, even though she dumped him and seemed to not want anything to do with him anymore.
Essentially, she broke up with him, but still had feelings for him and secretly knew that a breakup was probably a bit too extreme of a move to make.
Yet, she did it anyway and hoped that he would overlook her actions, believe in himself and get her back.
Of course, she won’t tell him that, or even hint at it.
She’ll just wait and hope that he has the courage to make a move and get her back.
So, when she sees him being happy without her, she can take it as a sign that he’s no longer interested in a relationship with her.
She can also feel rejected and believe that all hope is lost for them now.
She might then push herself to move on without him (e.g. by going out with her single friends to party and flirt with new men, accept dates from guys who are interested in her, start a new hobby that ensures she is around a lot of new men).
So, although seeing you happy can sometimes motivate an ex into wanting you back, it can also push her away if all you do is just seem happy without her.
No matter what, you should always take the next step and contact her, so you can arrange to meet up in person, attract her further and get her back.
4. She blocks you to avoid missing you and feeling bad about the breakup
Seeing you happy can sometimes result in her not wanting to face the reality of the situation, so she then blocks you.
For example: She might…
- Still have some feelings for you.
- Miss having you in her life (e.g. to talk to when she’s feeling sad, bored, lonely or when she needs advice about something that is bothering her).
- Feel unsure of her decision to break up.
- Feel left behind (i.e. because you’re happy and moving on first).
- Miss having sex with you.
- Miss feeling loved by you.
- Realize that breaking up with you has possibly hurt her, more than it has hurt you.
So, she then blocks your number and unfriends, unfollows or blocks you on social media to avoid being reminded of what she has lost.
5. She contacts you to say hi
Seeing you happy without her can make her feel drawn to you again, which can then result in her building up the courage to contact you online, via text or even say hello in person.
She will usually do that to see what might happen from there:
- Will she feel a sexual and romantic spark with you again, or will she only feel neutral or friendly feelings?
- Will you have changed in a way that makes her feel more attracted (e.g. more confident, more manly in your behavior or approach to her, more assertive in a loving way, more able to handle her personality type)?
- Will you be nice to her even though you’re happy now, or will you be rude, cold or unfriendly towards her?
- Will you try to get her back, or will you just continue moving on without her?
Depending on your reaction, she will either be open to working things out, or be convinced that she made the right decision and continue moving on without you.
6. She contacts you and pretends to be angry or insulted that you’re happy so soon after the breakup
A woman will usually react like that to test if her ex really is happy without her, or not.
If he then panics and says something like, “No, no. I’m not really happy. Yes, I’ve been in some photos lately where I’m smiling, but I’m secretly miserable. I miss you and I just want us to be back together again,” her pain stops and she gets an ego boost based on knowing that she is still in the position of power.
So, don’t worry if your ex pretends to be offended, angry or upset that you seem happy without her.
She may be very convincing (e.g. cry, seem furious, seem disappointed), but just understand that any painful or negative emotion she is feeling means that she cares.
If she didn’t care, she would feel indifferent, unconcerned or neutral about seeing you happy without her.
So, the best way to handle a situation like that is to say something along the lines of, “Hey, I’m just enjoying life. What did you expect me to do? Sit around and cry? We broke up, so it’s over. Life goes on and I’m moving on just like you are.”
Say that in a loving, but assertive way.
Don’t say it in a mean, angry or hurtful kind of way.
Just stand your ground and confidently say it, in a loving, but assertive way.
She will then feel a bit silly for making it out as though she expected you to be miserable without her.
She will also feel attracted to you for not failing her test (i.e. you didn’t panic and try to suck up to her, or stop her pain. Instead, you held your ground, while also continuing to be a good man to her).
As a result, she then begins to feel drawn to you again, which makes it easier to get her back.
7. She doesn’t care because she’s no longer attracted to you
For example: A woman broke up with her boyfriend because he was too insecure, or not manly enough for her.
She then sees that he is happy without her.
Yet, she doesn’t care because he hasn’t interacted with her and let her see that he is no longer insecure, or is now much more manly in his thinking, behavior, actions and approach to her.
She assumes that he’s still the same and therefore, doesn’t feel attracted to him, despite him seeming happy without her.
She also doesn’t really care because she’s not interested in getting back with an ex who can longer make her feel attracted.
8. She feels happy for you and simply continues moving on
She’s a nice person and she cares how you feel, so she is happy for you and glad that you’ve been coping well since the breakup.
Yet, that doesn’t mean she will contact you and try to get you back.
Even though it’s good to let her see that you are happy (e.g. because most women want to be with a man who is happy, confident and forward moving in life, with or without her support, approval or attention), you still need to have the courage to contact her at some point.
If you don’t contact her and guide her through the ex back process, she will almost certainly just focus on finding a replacement guy to move on with.
9. Her perspective of you changes and she becomes open to being with you again
Seeing you happy makes her look at you in a new, positive light.
Rather than focusing on all the negative things about you that she remembers, she starts to focus on your positives, or find new positives about you to focus on (e.g. you seem more confident now, cooler, more interesting, more manly).
She then drops her guard and becomes open to being with you again.
Yet, in most cases, she won’t contact you and make that obvious.
Several reasons, but some of the most common include:
- She worries that you might reject her now that you’re happy and don’t seem to need her.
- She wants to see if you still care enough to contact her and get her back.
- She worries that if she gets back with you too easily, you might not then feel any need to improve or change your approach to the relationship.
- She wants to see if you have the confidence to contact her and get her back, despite the fact that she hasn’t been showing signs of interest.
Another possible reaction if your ex sees you happy, is…
10. She wonders why you aren’t still missing her and then contacts you to check how you feel
Some women check up on an ex in that way to give themselves a confidence boost (i.e. if her ex still wants her, she feels confident, wanted and in the position of power. As a result, she can move on without worrying that she has been rejected or left behind).
This is why you shouldn’t give her a straight answer if she contacts you.
Instead, the best approach is to flirt with her, be playfully challenging and build up some sexual tension, so she wants to experience more.
For example: Imagine your ex calls you and says, “Well, I see that you are happy now. I guess you don’t miss me anymore then.”
She’ll likely be hoping that you deny being happy and confess that you still have feelings for her.
If you respond like that, she will get the ego boost she was after and her pain (i.e. the thing that will make her want you back) will stop.
On the other hand, if you respond by remaining confident and saying in a playfully teasing tone of voice, “Yeah, I’m very happy now. No more nagging about putting the cap back on the toothpaste/picking up my clothes/taking out the garbage. Life is so much more peaceful now,” and then laugh, it will automatically spark some of her feelings of attraction.
If you say it in a playfully teasing way, she will know that you’re joking.
As a result, she will most likely laugh, or at least smile at how you handled the situation in a confident way, while also adding in some humor.
She will then feel curious about your newfound, confident attitude towards her and will want to interact with you more to experience more of you.
You can then build up her feelings for you during those interactions and get her back.
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