Here are 7 common reasons why a woman will stay in touch with people close to her ex:

1. She is trying to make herself feel less lonely as she deals with losing you and the relationship

Breaking up with someone often means that you lose the person, as well as the friendships you had with their family and friends.

That can be difficult for some women to handle, especially in cases where a woman doesn’t have many friends (e.g. she is shy and struggles to make friends, has a small social circle, isn’t very close with her own friends), or isn’t completely happy with her family relationship (e.g. she’s an orphan and doesn’t like her adoptive parents, isn’t very close with her biological family, hates her biological parents).

In a case like that, a woman might keep in touch with people close to her ex because she needs the emotional connection while she tries to deal with losing him and the relationship.

Yet, once she begins to heal from the pain of the break up and also possibly starts making new friends and/or dating again, she will almost certainly stop keeping in touch with people close to her ex.

She may keep them on social media and have rare interactions with them, but they will have served their purpose (i.e. made her feel less alone as she worked on getting over the relationship) and now she is focused on her new boyfriend and the new friend and family relationships that come with him.

2. She is simply contacting them out of habit

She is simply contacting them out of habit

In some cases, (e.g. when a relationship was close/serious and lasted for a long time), a man’s family and friends will become an important part of a woman’s life as well.

She will develop the habit of including them in group texts (e.g. when she forwards a funny meme or message via Whatsapp), or check their social media posts regularly and click ‘like’ or comment.

She may even be the kind of person who likes to talk over the phone a lot and randomly calls friends to chat about her day.

In a case like that, a woman can be in the habit of occasionally calling or texting some of the people who are close to her ex.

It’s not about him though.

It’s about her.

She likes doing that, so she’s doing it.

In he mind, she may be thinking, “I broke up with him and not everyone else,” so she doesn’t see a problem with it.

3. She is staying in touch to be nice, but it won’t last for long

Basically, she’s a good person and doesn’t want to give them (people close to her ex) the impression that she was being nice to them simply because of her relationship with him.

However, when she gets a new boyfriend and moves on, she will feel less and less motivated to stay in touch with people who are close to her ex.

She will be involved with a new group of people and as a result, she will focus more on spending time getting to know them and building relationships with them, rather than on keeping in touch with the people close to him.

Alternatively, she may eventually want to avoid giving her new boyfriend any reason to feel jealous or uncomfortable, so she will gradually stop contacting anyone associated with her ex.

Of course, if your ex is one of those women, you can use that to your advantage so you can reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.


Get her on a call and reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings and then get her to agree to catch up with you as friends.

Being a nice person, she will almost certainly agree to that request, especially due to the fact that she is feeling sparks for you again.

Then, at the meet up, make sure that you continue building on her feelings for you and then hook up with her sexually to make her feel more open to giving you and the relationship another chance.

4. She is trying to let you know that she isn’t completely shutting you out of her life… yet

When a woman hates her ex, she will usually cut him and anyone associated with him completely out of her life.

Basically, she wants to make it clear to him that it’s over and there’s absolutely no chance of them getting back together again.

So, if a woman keeps in touch with people close to her ex, it can often be her way of keeping the door open between them for a little while.

She may be secretly hoping that he will do something to change her mind (i.e. contact her and attract her in the ways she really wants) and let her realize that they really can work things out after all.

Alternatively, she might just be letting him know that they can still be friends, even though they’re no longer together.

Whatever the case is for you though, it’s essential that you don’t sit around wondering, “Why is my ex keeping in touch with people close to me? What does it mean?” and then not doing anything about it.

Instead, have the confidence to contact her and re-attract her.

Use every interaction you have with her to reawaken some of her feelings and make her feel open up to the idea of giving the relationship another try.

You can do that by…

  • Being cool and confident no matter how she responds to you, so she remembers what attracted her to you in the first place (if you were a confident guy, but then lost confidence), or so she feels as though you really have changed (if you were an insecure guy, but have now become confident).
  • Being playful and fun to talk to, rather than making the conversation feel tense or stressful.
  • Not being afraid to joke around and tease her (in a loving, attractive way), rather than trying to be on your best behavior to hopefully get her to take pity on you. Women don’t want to be with a guy out of pity. Women want to be with a guy due to feelings of attraction. Attraction can be sparked in a woman via humor and playfully challenging behavior.
  • Adding in some flirting, so she realizes that that sexual spark between you isn’t dead, rather than just being neutral like a friend and making her think that there isn’t enough of a spark for you and her to get back together, or at least hook up again.

The more attracted and happy she feels when interacting with you, the more her defenses come down.

She realizes that there’s no point trying to remain broken up with you because she misses you and feels drawn to you.

As a result, she opens up to hooking up with you, or getting back into a relationship.

5. She is just trying to mess with you

She is just trying to mess with you

If your ex feels angry or resentful over the break up and what led up to it, she may want to hurt you to get revenge.

As a result, she might choose to keep in touch with people close to you as a way of sowing seeds of doubt in your mind.

For example: She hopes you will think, “Does this mean she still has feelings for me? Is it still possible for us to work things out now? Is she trying to signal to me to contact her?”

If you then wait around (e.g. for weeks or months) for her to give you a clearer sign that she wants you back, she will almost certainly just move on without you.

Then when you find out that she has moved on, not only will you have wasted a lot of time waiting for her, but you will also likely feel rejected/dumped once again.

She will then have gotten her revenge.

Don’t let that happen to you.

Realize that even when a woman has lost respect, attraction and love for a man to the point where she wants to mess with his head to hurt him after breaking up with him, it doesn’t mean he can’t make her change how she feels and get her back.

He can because feelings change all the time.

All it takes is a real spark of attraction to make it difficult for her to carry on with her plan (i.e. because it’s almost impossible to continually push away someone who you feel sexually and romantically attracted to and don’t want to lose).

She begins to wonder what it would feel like to be around the new and improved you, what it would feel like to be in your arms or to have sex with you again.

When that happens, she will struggle to stop herself from getting in touch with you and hinting at wanting to see you in person, even though she previously thought that she was over you.

6. They’ve been contacting her out of habit and she’s been replying

This can be because she’s part of their social media group and they just can’t be bothered to go and unfriend her from their account, or block her on their phone.

Alternatively, some people simply aren’t as ‘in tune’ to what goes on around them and won’t even know that you’ve broken up.

In other cases, they don’t feel like they need to be loyal to you and stop contacting her just because the relationship has ended.

In other cases still, because the woman is a generally nice and polite person, she doesn’t have the heart to tell them that she doesn’t want them to keep in touch with her due to the break up.

So, the interactions continue back and forth out of habit, or politeness.

Of course, eventually the interactions will likely fade away as life moves on and other people or things become more important (e.g. she gets a new boyfriend and stops responding to them, they begin to forget about her because they don’t see her anymore) and your ex will fully be out of your life at that stage.

If you don’t want that to happen, then take action now while you’re still on her mind (even if it’s via the people close to you) by reactivating her feelings for you and getting her back.

7. She likes a guy you know and is trying to remain on his radar

She is hoping that if she sticks around and he knows that you and her have broken up, he will eventually make a move and ask her out.

Yet, if he doesn’t make a move (e.g. because he doesn’t like her in the way she likes him, he’s loyal to you and doesn’t want to cause problems between you, he doesn’t realize she has feelings for him, he’s insecure and doubts that a woman like her would like him), she may eventually get tired of waiting and stop keeping in touch with everyone so she can move on and make a fresh start with someone new.

3 Mistakes Men Often Make When an Ex Woman Stays in Touch With People Close to Him

1. Assuming that if he just waits long enough, she will contact him too

Although that is a possibility in some cases, a woman usually won’t get in touch with an ex that she’s broken up with.

Some of the reasons why:

Although she likes his friends and family and wants to keep them in her life, she doesn’t like him/feel attracted to him anymore, so she doesn’t see any point to staying in touch.

She doesn’t want to encourage him to try and get her back.

She doesn’t want to risk being rejected by him if he decides to ignore her.

She doesn’t want to make it easy for him. Instead, she wants to see if he’s man enough to take the lead, re-attract her and get her back without any encouragement from her.

That is why, it’s always best to take action and pursue a woman in a calm, confident, masculine manner, rather than to waiting around to ‘see what happens,’ or hoping that she takes on the manly role and has the courage to ask you out, or try to get back with you.

If you don’t take action while you still can, she will almost certainly move on with someone else and you may end up missing out on your chance to get her back.

2. Over-analyzing comments she makes on friend’s social media posts, or things he hears about her from friends

If you sit around overanalyzing everything your ex says to friends, or comments or posts online to understand her state of mind and her intentions, you will end up driving yourself crazy.


Women usually aren’t very direct and honest regarding romance and will be vague, say contradictory things, say something emotional just for the heck of it and say the opposite of what they actually mean or truly think.

It’s just how women are.

Women aren’t like men.

So, don’t over analyze what she has been posting, commenting or saying to people you know.

Instead, understand that when it comes to getting a woman back, you need to focus on what you’re doing, not on what she’s doing.

That’s what a real man does.

A real man doesn’t get caught up in what the woman is saying or doing, to hopefully follow her.

He leads, he is the courageous one and he goes after what he wants in a calm, confident and masculine manner.

In other words, he doesn’t get all emotional like a woman, sit around worrying or losing sleep and driving himself crazy.

He gets clear on what he wants, figures out the best plan of action to get her back and then follows through on in a confident manner.

3. Waiting too long to make a move and then regretting it for the rest of his life

The guys who don’t ever work up the courage to re-attract their ex woman, will usually end up missing out on their chance to get her back and then regret it for the rest of their life.

I’ve literally heard from men who still miss an ex girlfriend from 20, 30 or even 40 years ago.

They didn’t know what to do to get her back, or didn’t have the courage to go after what they wanted and get her back.

Don’t let yourself be one of those men.

If you want her back, be courageous enough to take the lead and make it happen while you still can.

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