Here are 4 of the most common reasons why a woman will tell her ex boyfriend that he’s not respecting her wishes, plus how to get her back:
1. She is trying to make you give her space, so she can move on without you
After a break up, a guy might do whatever he can think of to make his ex woman change her mind and give him another chance.
For example: He might…
- Beg and plead with her to change her mind, which makes him come across as emotionally weak and turns her off even more.
- Promise her that he will change and do whatever she wants him to do if she gives him another chance.
- Ask her to tell him what he needs to do to make her happy in the relationship with him, but only ends up stressing her out by burdening her with the responsibility of teaching him how to become a better, more attractive man.
- Bombard her with gifts, flowers and other tokens of his affection for her, but doesn’t realize that a woman doesn’t fall in love with a guy because of what he can buy for her, but rather for how he makes her feel when she’s with him.
- Send her a long series of text messages or an email telling her how much he still loves her, in the hope that she will feel flattered and want to give him another chance.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that he’s actually turning her off even more.
A woman’s attraction to a guy is based mostly on his ability to make her feel like she can look up to him and respect him as a man.
So, when a guy is begging, pleading, promising, asking for her help, pouring his heart out and generally being emotionally weak and needy, he’s actually making her feel the opposite of the way he needs to make her feel to get her back.
As a result, one of the ways a woman might try to get her ex to back off is by saying something along the lines of, “Look. I told you when we broke up that it’s over between us. Yet, as usual, you just ignore me and do whatever it is you want. You’re just not respecting my wishes. How can you expect me to forgive you and give you another chance if you never listen to me? I’m so fed up with you! What do I have to do to get through to you? Just tell me!”
Naturally, when a guy hears this type of thing, he likely feels upset.
He may even think something like, “I don’t want her to feel this way. I want to make her happy.”
He might then decide to back off for a little while in the hope that his ex will feel as though he is now respecting her wishes and giving her the space that she needs.
Of course, what he may not realize is that he’s playing into her hands.
She then uses the time apart to quickly move on with a new man.
Then, if her ex contacts her again after a few weeks or months of space so that they can rebuild their relationship, she can say something like, “I’m sorry, but it’s too late. I’ve met someone else now and I’m in a relationship with him. I will always remember you, but the truth is, I don’t think we were right for each other. This is for the best. I wish you well in your life and in finding a new woman. You deserve someone who loves you and that woman isn’t me. Bye.”
He then loses out on getting her back just because he tried to be a nice guy by respecting her wishes.
Here’s the thing though…
This doesn’t have to happen to you.
Respecting your ex’s wishes doesn’t mean you have to disappear out of her life for weeks or months.
Of course, you shouldn’t smother her either.
Instead, you need to take a balanced approach where you give her a few days of space (no more than 7 days) where you don’t contact her at all, thereby respecting her wishes.
However, after that, you need to call her on the phone and begin reactivating her feelings for you by making her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you again.
In that way, not only do you not give her the chance to move on with someone else, you also make her feel respect for you for being respectful of her wishes.
She then feels more open towards you when you do call and then the idea of meeting up with you again feels like something she’s willing to do.
You can then meet up with her, fully reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and get her back.
Another common reason why a woman will say that you’re not respecting her wishes is…
2. She is tired of you trying to get her back via text
Sometimes a guy will feel as though it would annoy his ex girlfriend to call her, send her voice texts (rather than typed texts), or get her on a video call.
Alternatively, he might not feel welcome to contact her in that way because when she broke up with him, she said something like, “It’s over and I don’t want to talk to you, or see you again.”
If something similar has happened to you, it may have caused you to think that texting your ex was the only way to talk to her and get her back.
Yet, trying to text an ex back almost never works and usually results in pushing her away even further.
It’s so easy for her to misunderstand what you mean, or to become frustrated and tired with having to read your texts, come up with the right reply (i.e. that doesn’t start an argument between you and her, or result in you asking her for another chance).
It’s also easy for you to come across as being too emotional, rather than behaving in the way that actually attracts women (i.e. focus on getting what you want, rather than remaining stuck in the emotions of it all like a woman does. Women do that because they naturally wait for a man to take the lead, rather than leading him through processes in a relationship).
So, if you try to use typed texts as your main way of getting her back, it almost certainly won’t work.
She will get tired of it, annoyed by it, or will misunderstand your intentions and will want to push you away even further, especially if you’re trying to get her to give you another chance via text.
If she senses that you’re trying to fix things via text, it can lead to her thinking things like, “He’s just hiding behind texts and hoping that I’ll change my mind and want him back. He doesn’t even have the courage to call me and face my moody reaction. He’s not man enough. So, it’s over and he can send me texts until his thumbs turn blue and I still won’t change my mind.”
So, if you’ve been trying to get your ex back via text, you need to change use a different approach that will actually work (i.e. have the courage to call her and re-attract her on a call).
It’s next to impossible for a bunch of words on a little screen to have the same impact as talking to her over the phone, or in person.
When she can hear the tonality of your voice, notice the confidence in your body language and assess your state of mind as she interacts with you live, it’s so much easier for her to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
As a result, she naturally feels motivated to at least give you a chance to get her back.
On the other hand, if you keep trying to achieve everything via text, she’s going to be more closed off, uncooperative and stubborn.
So, if you want your ex to stop rejecting your attempts to get her back, make sure that you’re not trying to convince her to give you another chance via text.
Of course, some texting is fine, but you’ve got to get on a phone call and then meet up with her in person to actually get her back.
So, don’t waste time texting your ex and just pick up the phone, re-attract her, meet up with her and get her back for real.
3. You are essentially asking for a relationship, even though you haven’t yet re-attracted her sexually
A common mistake that guys make when they get broken up with, is to immediately try and convince their ex to give them another chance.
So, in many cases, a guy will do some or even all of the following things:
Bombard his ex with phone calls, text and social media messages as a way of staying on her mind so that she doesn’t move on.
Send her gifts, flowers and romantic cards or letters to express his feelings for her.
Plead with her to talk to him about the relationship in the hopes that they can work things out between them.
Promise her that he will change anything she wants to convince her to give him another chance.
Talk about how he believes that they are soulmates and that they share a special connection to try and make her see things from his point of view, so she will then want to give the relationship another go.
Yet, these things almost never convince a woman to get back into a relationship with a man.
Mainly because he has skipped the most important thing of all…
Reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for him, so she wants to give him another chance.
So, if you don’t first spark your ex’s feelings of respect, attraction and love for you, it’s only natural that she will just keep saying things like, “Forget about it. I don’t want to work on the relationship and I don’t want to give you another chance. Why won’t you respect my wishes about that and just leave me alone!”
So, don’t make the mistake of trying to convince your ex to rush back into a relationship with you, before you actually spark her sexual feelings for you first.
One of the ways that you can do that is by making her laugh and smile and feel good every time she interacts with you.
Another way is by flirting with her to create some sexual tension between you and her again, so that at the back of her mind, she begins to want to release that tension with hugging, kissing and sex.
Just remember: Your ex won’t be interested in a relationship unless you make her feel sexual and romantic attraction for you again.
Don’t try to go from a break up to a relationship right away, because it’s probably going to fail.
Then, the only results you’re likely to get is a very annoyed ex woman who is saying things like, “You’re not respecting my wishes. Why won’t you just leave me alone!”
On the other hand, if you make her feel attracted to you again sexually and emotionally, her defenses naturally fall away and she becomes open to being your girl once again.
4. You have made her feel as though she is the prize, which has naturally changed her behavior towards you
Sometimes, in an attempt to get his ex back, a guy might start to suck up to her and act nice, sweet and dependable.
So, no matter what she says or does to put him off (e.g. she insults him, is cold and unfriendly towards him, blames him for the break up), rather than stand up to her in a loving, yet assertive way, he instead takes it and in some cases even grovels.
Essentially, he’s hoping that she will think something along the lines of, “Wow! No matter how cold or rude or even bitchy I am towards him, he just smiles and takes it. He’s just so good to me. I never realized it before but he’s the nicest, sweetest, most agreeable man I’ve ever known. It makes me feel foolish for breaking up with him. I can’t let such a gem of a guy go!”
She will then want him back and he will be happy again.
Yet, what a guy like that doesn’t realize is that a woman doesn’t want to feel as though she is more valuable than him and like she has power over him.
If she does get that sense, her instincts kick in and she then starts to feel as though she will be lowering her standards by accepting a guy who is that easy to push around and control.
As a result, she ends up pushing him away even more and asking him, “Why aren’t you respecting my wishes?”
Here’s what you need to know…
A woman wants to feel that her man is a catch and that she’s lucky that he wants her, not like she’s doing him a favor by being with him.
She might pretend that she likes a guy who is nice and sweet and who is willing to run around after her and follow her orders like a puppy dog, but she’s not going to respect him if he actually falls for it and lets her push him around and dominate him.
So, if you want your ex to reconnect with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you, stop making her feel as though she’s your prize (i.e. more valuable than you).
Don’t be afraid to be a bit more of a challenge to her during interactions, rather than being a good little boy who never says or does anything to upset her.
You might be very surprised to see how effective standing up to her can be, in terms of making her reconnect with her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
She suddenly sees that you have manned up and are no longer the kind of guy who she feels too dominant around.
She begins to believe that you could actually be capable of taking on the dominant role in the relationship and allowing her to respect you and look up to you for life.
When she begins to feel that way (even if just a little), getting her back becomes easier because it’s something she wants to try as well.
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