In most cases, there are two main reasons why an ex woman will talk to you, but be cold and mean.
1. She is being immature
Sometimes, when a woman is really young, doesn’t have much experience with relationships and break ups, or if she’s emotionally immature, she might not know how to handle a break up in a mature way.
So, rather than just be nice and treat her ex in a mature way, or even just cut off all communication with him and move on peacefully, she continues to talk to him and tries to hurt him by being cold and mean.
Naturally, when a woman is behaving like that, it can be quite annoying and even painful for a guy, especially if he still loves her.
A guy might even ask, “Why can’t she get past what happened between us, so we can at least be civil towards each other? I know we broke up, but is that a good enough reason for her to be so mean to me? Besides, I’m not the only one who made mistakes in the relationship. Part of the blame is hers too. Why can’t she just be nice to me? She used to be so sweet and caring and she’s like a completely different girl now. She has changed.”
Although it would be nice if every woman acted nice to her ex after a break up, it just doesn’t work out that way.
Watch this video to how you can get her to start being nice, loving and open towards you again…
If she is being cold and mean towards you, the best approach to take is to not get dragged into any drama or appear upset or hurt.
You’ve got to remain emotionally strong, emotionally masculine and emotionally mature, so she can feel respect and attraction for you.
Show her that you’re a confident, emotionally strong man by:
- Laughing at her attempts to be mean, rather than being so serious about it.
- Standing up to her (in a dominant, but loving way) when she tries to make you feel bad by continually bringing up past mistakes.
- Remaining confident no matter what she says or does, rather than feeling insecure and pleading with her to be nicer to you.
- Playfully dominating her during interactions, rather than being timid, uncertain or hesitant to take on the role as the man.
When you change how you interact with her and how you respond to what she says and does, she will automatically begin to change how she behaves as well.
Being a bitch towards you will start to feel wrong to her because you’re making her feel so attracted and respectful of you now.
As a result, she starts to ask herself things like, “Should I keep being cold and mean? Maybe he’ll get tired of it and I’ll lose him. Maybe another girl will feel attracted to the new version of him and he’ll get with her instead. Okay, I’ve got to start being nicer to him.”
Her behavior then changes and you can then get her back by remaining confident no matter what she says or does.
The other main reason why your ex might be talking to you, but being cold and mean is…
2. She is trying to make you hate her so you leave her alone
Sometimes, a woman will do whatever she can to make her ex hate her, so he will get over her and not try to get her back anymore.
So, rather than giving him false hope and make him think things like, “She’s being so sweet to me on the phone. She must still have real feelings for me. I think she’s just playing a hard to get, to avoid looking too easy,” she instead decides to kill his hope by being cold and mean every time she talks to him.
Of course, a lot of guys might then ask, “Does that mean I should give up on ever getting her back? Is it hopeless?”
You should not give up and it’s definitely not hopeless.
You can get her back.
Most ex back situations (even the ones where an ex woman hates her ex) can be turned around if a guy uses the right approach (i.e. focuses on making her feel sexually and romantically attracted to him again).
You can do it.
Of course, if your ex is being mean and is going out of her way to push you away, it might be difficult to imagine ever being able to convince her to give you another chance, right?
Don’t worry – you can do it.
The solution is actually quite easy and simple.
What you need to do is re-spark her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you by getting her laughing and smiling, especially when she is being mean or cold towards you.
Then, let her see that the new and improved you is for real.
How can you do that?
By interacting with her on the phone and in person and responding to what she says and does in a different way that you have before.
For example: Rather than getting upset or feeling insecure when she is being mean or cold towards you, let her see a different reaction from now on.
Laugh at her for being cold and mean towards you and jokingly say things like, “Hey, stop being such a little brat, or else I’ll have to bend you over my knee and spank you.”
Alternatively, you might laugh and jokingly say, “Oh no…you’re so mean. I’m so hurt by that. Please be nicer to me. I can’t take it anymore. You’re breaking my heart” and laugh with her about that as you pretend to be heartbroken.
Alternatively, you might laugh and jokingly say, “Well, someone’s a little meany today, aren’t they? Your new name is Little Miss Nasty” and have a laugh with her about that.
When you say something like that, your ex will feel a bit shocked that you suddenly grew a pair of balls and stood up to her in a dominant, but loving way.
Warning: To test your confidence, she might act like she’s angry with you for laughing and saying something like that to her.
If you apologize and back down, she will see that you were just pretending to be a confident, emotionally masculine guy, but you’re not.
She will then lose respect for you.
However, if you laugh and jokingly say something like, “Oh, you’re so sensitive, aren’t you? Everything has to be said really nicely and gently to you. You’re so soft” she will respect you for not backing down, but for also being a good guy about (because you’re joking).
Women react positively to that, especially if they have been trying to act tough, confident and independent.
She doesn’t to seem soft and fragile like a girl, so she will have to accept your humor and not be so sensitive about it.
Even though she probably won’t admit it to you, she will be thinking something like, “I didn’t think he would ever have the balls to stand up to me like that. I like it. It’s sexy. He really has changed. I wonder what else about him is different? If he talks like this to other girls, they will like him and want him, so I better give him another chance before I lose the opportunity.”
Warning: She might then try to test you again by pretending to be interested in getting back together and then being cold and mean once again.
She will be testing to see if your confidence was just an act, or if you really have changed.
So, make sure that you don’t buckle under her pressure at any time.
Just know that it’s in her best interests to test your confidence to decide if you are now man enough to handle a girl like her.
So, expect the tests, be ready and don’t worry.
You can pass her tests easily by not taking them so seriously.
Just laugh at her attempts to be mean to you and she will respect you.
When she sees that you maintain your confidence around her no matter how badly she behaves, her walls will come down and she will stop trying to get away from you.
3 Mistakes to Avoid When Trying to Get an Ex Woman Back Who is Being Cold and Mean
When a guy still has feelings for his ex and she’s being cold and mean, it can often cause him to behave in ways that are totally out of character for him (e.g. desperate, anxious, stressed, angry, highly emotional).
As a result, he ends up turning his ex woman off even more because women are naturally turned off by emotional weakness and desperation in men.
So, if you want to get your ex back, you have to make sure that you remain emotionally strong and calm as you get her back.
Here are 3 classic mistakes that guys make when in your situation…
1. Telling her how sad and confused he is based on how she is treating him
A guy might say, “Why are you being so mean to me like we are almost enemies now? Doesn’t what we shared mean anything to you? You used to be so nice and loving. What happened to that girl? Why can’t you just be a bit friendlier when we talk? Remember how happy we used to be. You used to be so nice to me. I can’t handle the thought of knowing that you hate me so much now. It hurts me deeply. What can I do to make you forgive me? Just name it and I’ll do it, but please stop treating me like this. You know that I deserve better. It’s not fair that you’re being like this.”
He’s hoping that by saying something like that to her, she will then feel guilty for being so cold and mean to him and be nicer from then on.
As a result, he will then be able to communicate with her without having to get into arguments and feel so frustrated, which will help him get her back easier.
Yet, that’s just not how women are designed to work.
One of the most important roles that a woman plays in a man’s life is to continually push him to become emotionally stronger.
It’s not her role to be soft, nice and gentle when he really needs to man up and stop being so sensitive and weak.
The reality is that her being cold and mean to him is a huge opportunity for him to rapidly build his emotional strength and maturity.
If he does that, he will be naturally attractive to her, but if he doesn’t, she will continue to feel turned off and won’t want to be nice and make it easy for him to get her back.
Here’s the thing…
When a woman has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for her ex, she usually stops caring about how he feels to ensure that she doesn’t feel sympathy for him and get back with him when she sees him hurting as a result of the break up.
So, when he tries to make her feel guilty for her behavior, it doesn’t work.
Instead, she looks at his emotional desperation as another reason to continue treating him badly and moving on.
So, don’t bother telling your ex how sad and confused you feel because of the way she’s treating you.
If you do, she will most likely laugh and pump up the bad treatment even more.
A better way to approach the situation is to simply focus instead on re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
When you do that, she then has a reason to be nicer to you (i.e. she feels attracted to you, is worried about losing you, doesn’t feel like the relationship is over anymore).
Another mistake that guys make when their ex is being cold and mean is…
2. Taking her cold behavior too seriously
When a guy’s ex is being cold and mean, he might make the mistake of getting very angry at her.
Alternatively, he might make the mistake of taking her cold behavior too seriously, rather than using it as an opportunity to make her feel respect and attraction for him by using humor to get her laughing and smiling.
For example: Imagine a guy is talking to his ex on the phone and she gets angry and says something like, “Why do you keep calling me? What do you want?”
Instead of using humor to break her out of her bad mood and deflect her serious comments, a guy will often make the mistake of saying something like, “Why are you being like this? What’s wrong with you? I’m just calling to see how you’re doing. I still care about you, you know? Obviously you don’t care about me anymore.”
Although the guy means well and is trying to make a point, it’s just not what works with women.
With women, you’ve got to be emotionally strong and not take her attacks seriously.
Look at her as though she is a tiny little thing trying to act mean.
As a result, you see her as being cute, vulnerable and harmless.
You can laugh at her for attempting to seem mean and tough.
She’s no match for you.
That’s how you have to look at a woman to put her back in her place.
Don’t be an asshole about it though.
Always do it in a loving way.
You look at her as being cute and harmless, but you still treat her with respect and be a good guy to her.
That is what works.
What also works is humor, because it shows that you’re not taking her threatening behavior so seriously or feeling intimidated by it.
For example: If she says, “Why do you keep calling me? What do you want?” a guy can say in a joking tone of voice, “Oops, my bad. I thought this was Pizza Hut. I want a double cheese and bacon pizza. Can you make it for me?” and have a laugh with her about it.
A woman will then most likely laugh (or at least smile) and feel respect for him for being confident enough to turn her bad manners into something positive, light and funny.
She will then start to feel like a real woman around him (i.e. feminine, girly in comparison to how masculine he is, in love) and feel magnetically drawn to him.
A final mistake that guys make when their ex is being cold and mean is…
3. Hoping that if he treats her even nicer, she will take pity on him and stop being so mean
As you may have realized by now if you’ve been reading along, it’s not a woman’s role (in a romantic relationship) to be nicer to an emotionally weak man.
A man has to toughen up or suffer the consequences of being dumped.
Women don’t need to be nicer and more gentle because that would only send mankind down a road of weakness, which then reduces our toughness and ability to survive and defend ourselves from attack.
We men always have to become stronger (emotionally), rather than hoping that women will get weaker.
A lot of guys don’t know that or don’t want to accept it, so they complain to their woman or complain about women who are so hard on guys.
For example: Sometimes, a guy will hope that being extra nice to his ex woman who is being cold and mean, will make her feel guilty and selfish for being so mean.
From then on, she will be gentle, nice and sweet to make it up to him.
Yet, it just doesn’t work like that in real life.
It works in the movies and on TV shows, but that isn’t real life.
In the real world, a woman doesn’t want to be manipulated into giving her ex another chance simply because he can’t deal with the way she’s treating him.
Additionally, when a woman has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for her ex, how he feels just doesn’t really matter to her anymore.
So, when a guy treats him ex woman even nicer (e.g. helping her in any way he can, being on his best behavior) as a way of getting her to feel pity for him, rather than make her change her mind, she just uses his desperation as another reason to feel turned off and continue moving on.
Don’t put yourself in that unfortunate situation.
There is much easier way to handle her coldness, warm her back up and get her back.
When your ex talks to you, but is being cold and mean, just use it as an opportunity to spark her feelings for you.
For example: Be assertive, but loving and stand up to her.
Let her see that you aren’t intimidated or feeling insecure now that she’s acting mean.
Instead, you see it as cute because she’s just a woman and is no match for you.
You don’t tell her that by the way.
Just let her feel it based on how you can laugh and not take her attacks so seriously, like you used to.
When she sees you reacting in that way, it will make her feel attracted to your confidence in yourself.
She might not ever admit it to you, but watching you have an unquestioned confidence in your attractiveness and appeal to her is a massive turn on for her (and for pretty much any woman on the planet).
Women don’t admit it because they don’t want guys acting like they are confident in their attractiveness to women all of a sudden.
Women want to hook up with and be with a man who naturally understands that women are most attracted to men who don’t doubt themselves.
When she sees that you have that kind of confidence in yourself now, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling attracted to you.
Her iciness will begin melt and she will soon be putty in your hands once again.